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Fresie
08-16-2012, 04:12 PM
Hi guys,

A friend of mine - a professional Russian author of military SF and himself an ex army officer - asked me to translate one of his short stories into English. The story is set in the near future at an imaginary international military base. I'm a writer and literary translator, but thing is, I have no military background. :) The story is very heavily peppered with army-speak, commands, jargon and such. I'm afraid I've made quite a few blunders translating them into English :)

Could somebody with US army experience please please have a look at this 6000-word short story and point out any mistakes I've made?

Thank you very much in advance!

Fresie

Crayonz
08-16-2012, 08:11 PM
Wait, is the story set in the Russian Army or the U.S. Army? Also, are we talking Infantry/foot soldiers, Cavalry, Aviation, Special Forces, what? The reason I ask is because the two armies are different beasts (as far as I know) and because the different sections of the U.S. Army can have similar lingo, but mean completely different things.

For example: a Infantry guy might say that one of his commanding officers just got his wings, meaning the officer was promoted from a Lieutenant Colonel to a Colonel (the rank changes from a flower looking thing to an eagle with its wings spread out). That same sentence from someone in Aviation would mean that the officer had earned their next aviator badge (which is a badge with pair of wings and a shield in the middle that denotes how experienced a pilot is).

Fresie
08-16-2012, 08:42 PM
Wait, is the story set in the Russian Army or the U.S. Army? Also, are we talking Infantry/foot soldiers, Cavalry, Aviation, Special Forces, what? The reason I ask is because the two armies are different beasts (as far as I know) and because the different sections of the U.S. Army can have similar lingo, but mean completely different things.

For example: a Infantry guy might say that one of his commanding officers just got his wings, meaning the officer was promoted from a Lieutenant Colonel to a Colonel (the rank changes from a flower looking thing to an eagle with its wings spread out). That same sentence from someone in Aviation would mean that the officer had earned their next aviator badge (which is a badge with pair of wings and a shield in the middle that denotes how experienced a pilot is).

Thank you very much, Crayonz! I love your examples.

Basically, it takes place at an international base of an imaginary international army of the future, so there's no Russian/American connotation, but as the story's targeted for the American market, it's probably better to avoid glaring Britishisms, etc, that an American wouldn't understand.

The story is about foot soldiers on a mission - lots of jokes, slang and radio conversations. :)

I hope someone would like to have a look at it. Thanks a lot in advance!

jmare
08-17-2012, 02:51 AM
Does it have to be specifically Army experience or would any US military experience work?

Fresie
08-17-2012, 01:13 PM
Does it have to be specifically Army experience or would any US military experience work?

Any experience will probably do because it's basically all familiar words and expressions that a civilian reader should be able to understand, too :) It's only that sometimes I get confused which ones are possibly dated, British or whatever. If you could have a look at it, I'd really appreciate it.