Worst time for submissions?
The Agent Calendar:
January. Right after the holidays, agents recovering from celebration, new year and all, plenty of stuff left over from the past year to catch up on, not including new submissions. Those can wait.
or, February. Drearyass weather everywhere, worst month of the year, with maybe one rival, you just want to get through it, the hell with new submissions.
or March. I might have been wrong about February. End of winter, energy at low ebb, who has time to deal sensibly with new submissions?
or April. This fucker is the cruelest month, breeds lilacs out of a dead land, and is TAX TIME. Nothing more need be said.
or May. Oh. Spring. Gotta get outside, get some sun, anticipate a real summer, who has time to deal with new submissions?
or June. Hey, this is vacation time. Been working my ass off for damn near half a year now, and I need time to relax. Who has time to deal with new submissions?
or July. It's 107 degrees Fahrenheit in the shade, the reservoirs are drying up, I have the energy of a cold three-toed sloth. Where's the carafe of Talisker?
or August Worse than July. The Mets suck. I have a bad heat rash. Who has energy to deal with new submissions?
or September. Summer is ending. Leaves are dying, winter is coming, and you want me to read your submission?
or October. Halloween. Shit. Queries for four hundred fifty-seven horror-genre manuscripts piled on my desk. five-hundred eighty-six of them guaranteed to be horrible. Where's that carafe of Talisker?
or November. February's twin, except two days longer and with weather guaranteed to get worse in the next month, not better. Plus Thanksgiving. Four days off (yeah, right) in which to read all the new queries and submissions. God help the submitter.
or December. Ah. The Holidays. Thank God. Don't have to do any damn thing about submissions. Now have to worry about what damn gift to buy my tween daughter, who doesn't like anything anymore. Yeah. You wanna submit something to me this month? Where's that carafe of Talisker?
And, goddamit, this one submission in 4,290 I made the mistake of opening and looking at and it's maybe the next Harry Potter. I gotta read it. Shit. Where's that damn carafe?
caw