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William Haskins
01-09-2006, 11:45 PM
our enlightened lawmakers have make it a federal crime to annoy people on the internet under the cloak of anonymity. since i post under my real name, i'm immune and can still annoy you all i want.

however, if you have a "handle"/"alias"/"username" and you annoy me, i will see that you are prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law, and preferably sent to gitmo where you'll be beaten repeatedly about the head with a koran or something.

http://news.com.com/Create+an+e-annoyance,+go+to%20+jail/2010-1028_3-6022491.html?part=rss&tag=602249%201&subj=news



Annoying someone via the Internet is now a federal crime.

It's no joke. Last Thursday, President Bush signed (http://dw.com.com/redir?destUrl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.whitehouse.gov%2Fne ws%2Freleases%2F2006%2F01%2F20060105-3.html&siteId=3&oId=2010-1028-6022491&ontId=1023&lop=nl.ex) into law a prohibition on posting annoying Web messages or sending annoying e-mail messages without disclosing your true identity.

<snip>

To grease the rails for this idea, Sen. Arlen Specter, a Pennsylvania Republican, and the section's other sponsors slipped it into an unrelated, must-pass bill to fund the Department of Justice. The plan: to make it politically infeasible for politicians to oppose the measure.

The tactic worked. The bill cleared the House of Representatives by voice vote, and the Senate unanimously approved it Dec. 16.

BradyH1861
01-09-2006, 11:48 PM
Well, I would say that the Courts will never uphold this, but now, I'm not so sure.

Brady

astonwest
01-09-2006, 11:48 PM
sweet...that means more time to finish my novels...

William Haskins
01-09-2006, 11:49 PM
your response annoys me. please go outside and await the black helicopters, which should be arriving within moments. next?

BradyH1861
01-09-2006, 11:50 PM
I can see the helicopters hovering in the distance.

brokenfingers
01-09-2006, 11:50 PM
our enlightened lawmakers have make it a federal crime to annoy people on the internet under the cloak of anonymity. since i post under my real name, i'm immune and can still annoy you all i want.

however, if you have a "handle"/"alias"/"username" and you annoy me, i will see that you are prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law, and preferably sent to gitmo where you'll be beaten repeatedly about the head with a koran or something.Catch me if you can, you bastard.

signed,

B. Fingers

astonwest
01-09-2006, 11:52 PM
I can see the helicopters hovering in the distance.
Those must be the super-silent helicopters I can't hear yet...

I can already see that the courts are going to get overwhelmed with these types of cases...

aspier
01-10-2006, 12:01 AM
our enlightened lawmakers have make it a federal crime to annoy people on the internet under the cloak of anonymity. since i post under my real name, i'm immune and can still annoy you all i want.

however, if you have a "handle"/"alias"/"username" and you annoy me, i will see that you are prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law, and preferably sent to gitmo where you'll be beaten repeatedly about the head with a koran or something.

http://news.com.com/Create+an+e-annoyance,+go+to%20+jail/2010-1028_3-6022491.html?part=rss&tag=602249%201&subj=news



Annoying someone via the Internet is now a federal crime.

It's no joke. Last Thursday, President Bush signed (http://dw.com.com/redir?destUrl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.whitehouse.gov%2Fne ws%2Freleases%2F2006%2F01%2F20060105-3.html&siteId=3&oId=2010-1028-6022491&ontId=1023&lop=nl.ex) into law a prohibition on posting annoying Web messages or sending annoying e-mail messages without disclosing your true identity.

<snip>

To grease the rails for this idea, Sen. Arlen Specter, a Pennsylvania Republican, and the section's other sponsors slipped it into an unrelated, must-pass bill to fund the Department of Justice. The plan: to make it politically infeasible for politicians to oppose the measure.

The tactic worked. The bill cleared the House of Representatives by voice vote, and the Senate unanimously approved it Dec. 16.


Unbelievable! You don't say? Who is this Bush guy you are talking about? Ok I hand it to him e-flairs and immature name-calling is rediculous, stalking, etc. too but that's a matter of IQ ... onf the part of the reader's, isn't it? Basically everything that happens in Cyberspace is only in the head of the one who actively goes onto it. So what's the problem? If Bush thinks **** ... what does he get? **** or 5 dots? So where's the name-calling of abuse? In **** or in **** = 5 dots?

Weird!

biotales
01-10-2006, 12:02 AM
what makes y'all think biotales is not my real name....
huh....
Send the helicopters... I have a sling shot...

aspier
01-10-2006, 12:09 AM
what makes y'all think biotales is not my real name....
huh....
Send the helicopters... I have a sling shot...


Mmm J.P. Biotales ... if figuers. J.P. for J.R. Ewing. Is real name. I vouch for it! Anyone wants to vouch for my name, T.H Argo Spier = The Honourable Argospier. Sounds nice, eh? Say, maybe this Bush guy - male is he? - isn't so dumb! People will start taking notice of each other's names. Web can become very convivial! Also down with names lik knwcsd3364 etc.

William Haskins
01-10-2006, 12:14 AM
yuk it up.

it's all fun and games till you're locked in a cage and doing your business through a hole in the floor.

BradyH1861
01-10-2006, 12:14 AM
My real name is not Brady. It is Horatio Hornblower.

BradyH1861
01-10-2006, 12:15 AM
yuk it up.

it's all fun and games till you're locked in a cage and doing your business through a hole in the floor.

And don't forget the torture.

DaveKuzminski
01-10-2006, 12:15 AM
Hey, just in time to bury PA for all its tone letters that don't have any signatures. Just think! Everyone of the staff could be liable unless someone steps forward as the culprit. Think after the first one that anyone else will ever leave their name off? ;)

rhymegirl
01-10-2006, 12:16 AM
Since we all seem to annoy William, I guess we're all going to jail.

Ah. Finally I'll have the time and peace and quiet to write my novel.

William Haskins
01-10-2006, 12:17 AM
it's really a dream come true for me in so many ways.

PattiTheWicked
01-10-2006, 12:23 AM
Hey Brady, if you wear a tinfoil beanie the helicopters won't see you.

Not that I do that or anything....

:::annoys Haskins just for fun::::

aspier
01-10-2006, 12:37 AM
No really, is this true? Can one enforce a law like this? How can it be proved that I am actually writing this ... I mean it is YOU who are reading these 'words'; you who think the black thingies here are words. Secondly, YOU are the one who read categorial semantic value (meaning) INTO them. Look, all I have done in this post so far was creatively played on my keyboard as if it were a piano. I am an artist, see? All these 'letters' (proof to me the black on this white are letters!) ... 'Oh, YOU are reading meaning into them! How interesting!'

There is no possible way that such a law can be enforced!


Not signed!


(Pssst! Just to be on the safe side I don't play the notes that mightl form my name in your eyes!)

William Haskins
01-10-2006, 12:38 AM
save yer breath, frenchie. and spread em!

BradyH1861
01-10-2006, 12:39 AM
Often times a statute will be deemed "unconstitutionally vague" because it is not specific enough to give notice as to what conduct actually constitutes an offense.

I think that is certainly the case here.

Brady

William Haskins
01-10-2006, 12:48 AM
sounds like the unpatriotic lunatic ramblings of a dime-a-dozen jailhouse lawyer to me...

blacbird
01-10-2006, 12:51 AM
Well, I would say that the Courts will never uphold this, but now, I'm not so sure.

Brady

Yeah, they're working to fix that little loophole, aren't they?

caw.

William Haskins
01-10-2006, 12:51 AM
NOW i know why the caged bird sings...

"caw."

BradyH1861
01-10-2006, 01:01 AM
Haskins,

I need not ask for whom the bell tolls. It tolls for thee.

Name omitted for sundry annoying reasons.

Celia Cyanide
01-10-2006, 01:10 AM
Well, my real name is Celia Cyanide, so you can't touch me, Haskins! ;)

aspier
01-10-2006, 01:11 AM
There's elements of fascism in even the considering such a law. It touches into philosophical issues and questions such as what the meaning of 'meaning' is and what 'meaning' should be! Ok, everybody agrees to 'courtesy rules' but this goes quite beyound this, no? A law like this suggests a pre-concept of what the English language should be and how it should be used. And what about other languages? The millions of European dialects.

'Sod off' - Do you think this will attract attention?

Say, William, we got to prepare for this, you know. We all can work in groups and take turns to systematically archive all the various possible word combinations that's ok ... these then we sell through to all new-comers, etc. on condition that they don't register under a real false name but use other more sofisticated false real names. (I have vouched for Biotales, but I'm not so sure about that anymore. Do you think she's got a false name? I'm sure his a guy but I didn't vouched for that! So I think my vouch only counts for half!)

'Ahhh sod on!'

robeiae
01-10-2006, 01:24 AM
however, if you have a "handle"/"alias"/"username" and you annoy me, i will see that you are prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law, and preferably sent to gitmo where you'll be beaten repeatedly about the head with a koran or something.
Touch...touch...touch...touch...to :: owww!! leggo my finger, haskins! ::

BradyH1861
01-10-2006, 01:25 AM
Anyone wanna watch Rob get a cavity search?

robeiae
01-10-2006, 01:27 AM
I'm gonna webcast it at a pay-per-view site...

September skies
01-10-2006, 01:37 AM
Hey Haskins..... http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/images/smilies/emoticonwag.gif and http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/images/smilies/e2moon.gif

BradyH1861
01-10-2006, 01:42 AM
You can be Rob's cellmate.

JAlpha
01-10-2006, 02:05 AM
http://photobucket.com/albums/c34/JAlpha/th_39.gif (http://photobucket.com/albums/c34/JAlpha/?action=view&current=39.gif)



...........http://photobucket.com/albums/c34/JAlpha/th_OFCOpcJumpHL.gif (http://photobucket.com/albums/c34/JAlpha/?action=view&current=OFCOpcJumpHL.gif)


....I'm in BIG trouble!

astonwest
01-10-2006, 02:16 AM
My real name is not Brady. It is Horatio Hornblower.That name will go over really well in prison.

arrowqueen
01-10-2006, 02:19 AM
Pah! Your paltry American laws do not apply to me! I can continue to be as annoying as I like.

http://bestsmileys.com/lol/4.gif

ChunkyC
01-10-2006, 03:14 AM
The Bush Administration needs an enema.

Signed: My Real Name.

(well, that's what it says to do to avoid prosecution)

biotales
01-10-2006, 04:05 AM
The Bush Administration needs an enema.

Signed: My Real Name.

(well, that's what it says to do to avoid prosecution)

What about congress who wrote the dam law to begin with.... :Shrug:

astonwest
01-10-2006, 04:35 AM
Pah! Your paltry American laws do not apply to me!Ah, but there's nothing saying they won't try to enforce American laws worldwide... ;)

Puddle Jumper
01-10-2006, 05:47 AM
Dude, it's not April 1st!

And I'd like to see that story on a credible news site like CNN, FOX, NBC, etc...

PeeDee
01-10-2006, 07:24 AM
lololo madd llaw yo hehehehe im n0t an0ying butt u who r shuld b3 carful or the M4N gonna buzt yo. lolololo!!!!!1111

singed
C4pT4IN SM4CKT4RD 84

Carole
01-10-2006, 07:33 AM
Dearest William,

Does this mean I can start annoying you to my fullest capability? I mean, I have always used my real name.

Even when you asked me not to.

*snicker*

William Haskins
01-10-2006, 07:43 AM
i don't think you're capable of being annoying.

robeiae
01-10-2006, 07:45 AM
i don't think you're capable of being annoying.
She's a chick, isn't she?

rhymegirl
01-10-2006, 07:45 AM
I could annoy you, William.

Carole
01-10-2006, 07:49 AM
i don't think you're capable of being annoying.
Can I quote you on that?

I mean...ummm...can I quote you again?

Puddle Jumper
01-10-2006, 07:56 AM
She's a chick, isn't she?
Which only says higher intelligence (female) is annoying to lesser intelligence (male).

Vice versa on that as well. :Lecture:

maestrowork
01-10-2006, 08:00 AM
Gosh, this thread is f**king annoying.

poetinahat
01-10-2006, 08:03 AM
She's a chick, isn't she?
Jeez, dude. You got a be-alone wish or something? That's supposed to stay in the clubhouse....

http://www.he-men.org/images/hemanlogo3.gif

William Haskins
01-10-2006, 08:04 AM
the original poster should be banned.

maestrowork
01-10-2006, 08:05 AM
I am permanently banned.

JenNipps
01-10-2006, 08:09 AM
our enlightened lawmakers have make it a federal crime to annoy people on the internet under the cloak of anonymity. since i post under my real name, i'm immune and can still annoy you all i want.

however, if you have a "handle"/"alias"/"username" and you annoy me, i will see that you are prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law, and preferably sent to gitmo where you'll be beaten repeatedly about the head with a koran or something.

I actually go by Jen more than I do Jenifer, so I suppose I'm using my actual name as well. I get more mail for "Jen Nipps" than I do for "Jenifer Nipps." So the same would apply for me. lol.

William Haskins
01-10-2006, 08:22 AM
tell it to the judge, sugar.

JenNipps
01-10-2006, 08:36 AM
tell it to the judge, sugar.
Point me in the right direction. Just remember, I don't follow distance directions well.

Oh, and right back atcha.

aspier
01-10-2006, 11:04 AM
She's a chick, isn't she?

Chick? Lately when I hear any words that could implicitly suggest wings, I think birdflue! Is that annoying anyone? My dearest apology!

louisgodwin
01-12-2006, 05:23 PM
Dear William,

I know I've annoyed you in the past.

But please call off the helicopters.

They're scaring my horses.

tiny
01-12-2006, 07:29 PM
What about enraging you, Mr. Haskins? Does that bring something other than helicopters and a jail sentence? Not that I'm planning anything, just curious.

William Haskins
01-12-2006, 07:42 PM
enraging me turns me on, actually. i'll stick with the letter of the law and only recommend your incarceration in the event of annoyance.

tiny
01-12-2006, 07:48 PM
Well then. Good to know that in event that annoyance happens, I can avoid jail time by just completely crossing the line. Good to know.

pconsidine
01-12-2006, 08:47 PM
Well, my real name is Celia Cyanide, so you can't touch me, Haskins! ;)That's the most punk rock name I've heard since Nancy Spungen.

And sadly, the story appears to be true.

http://www.postchronicle.com/commentary/article_2123327.shtml

*sigh* Political correctness taken to its logical conclusion, I guess.

MacAllister
01-12-2006, 08:55 PM
Good god. How does this get blamed on political correctness, when GW signed the damned thing?

Somehow, it's still the fault of the liberals.

William Haskins
01-12-2006, 09:01 PM
because george w. bush is a liberal, doncha know.

actually, it passed the house by voice vote and the senate by unanimous vote, so i think there's plenty of blame to go around.

but, hey! here's an entertaining tale:

http://www.courttv.com/news/2006/0112/chatroom_suit_ctv.html

rhymegirl
01-12-2006, 09:15 PM
enraging me turns me on, actually. i'll stick with the letter of the law and only recommend your incarceration in the event of annoyance.

Hey William...Does this annoy you or enrage you:

:e2bear: :e2bear: :e2bear: :e2bear: :e2bear: :e2bear: :e2cheer: :e2cheer: :e2cheer: :e2cheer: :e2cheer: :e2cheer: :e2cheer: :TheWave: :PartySmil :Guitar: :Guitar: :Guitar: :Guitar: :Guitar: :Jump: :Jump: :Jump: :Jump: :Jump: :Jump:

William Haskins
01-12-2006, 09:19 PM
kiss your kids goodbye, rhyme and watch these instructive videos (http://www.amazon.com/gp/richpub/listmania/fullview/2SM6T1SU65US2/002-8890958-7333644?%5Fencoding=UTF8)for how to prepare for the next two years of your life.

rhymegirl
01-13-2006, 12:30 AM
So I guess smilies only annoy you.

What would enrage you? A political battle? Or If we told you you have to go to Disneyworld with Rob? Or maybe if Jenna said everyone on AW has to be really, really nice, not use any bad words even with asterisks, use a smilie with every post PLUS all of the female members quit all at the same time leaving only guys here? Would that do it?

pconsidine
01-13-2006, 12:34 AM
I think being forced to suck up to really, really stupid people would drive Will over the edge. Other than that, probably not much.

StoryG27
01-13-2006, 12:53 AM
I know how to enrage William, but I dare not. Though just thinking about it does make me a bit giddy.

tiny
01-13-2006, 01:11 AM
I know how to enrage William, but I dare not. Though just thinking about it does make me a bit giddy.

Oh, come on. I want to see him with his hackles all bristled up. Plus, I'm curious if the rumors are true. I heard his eyes actually glow red.

Go Storygirl, enrage him, poke the bear.

Celia Cyanide
01-13-2006, 01:56 AM
I know how to enrage William, but I dare not. Though just thinking about it does make me a bit giddy.

C'mon, please? You don't have to do it, just tell us how.

pconsidine
01-13-2006, 03:39 AM
Good god. How does this get blamed on political correctness, when GW signed the damned thing?

Somehow, it's still the fault of the liberals.I blamed it on Political Correctness because the illegality of offending anyone promoted by the PC crowd is a natural precursor to the illegality of annoying people. That's all.

I don't even consider PC a liberal thing any more. In fact, since most of my experiences with it have come at the hands of giant conservative corporations, I'd be more inclined to think of it in the opposite terms.

StoryG27
01-13-2006, 04:16 AM
William, where or where has your Raiders sig gone????
Ah, down the toilet you say, with their season.

How many times did the Broncos beat them?
Twice, that's right...by a total of 33 points.

*Don't kill me. Please. They made me do it. Kill TT and CC...double letters are bad news I tell ya. You know I love you...I do...I just hate the Raiders, but you, you I love!Puh-leeeeeze show mercy. Have I told you lately that I love you?*

William Haskins
01-13-2006, 04:38 AM
i've made peace with the raiders' lousy season and look forward to denver having their superbowl hopes snatched from them, if not this week, then definitely by the colts. therefore, you've merely annoyed me, and the authorities will take it from here.

enjoy your stay at gitmo.

StoryG27
01-13-2006, 04:45 AM
Ok, well, when the Broncos win the superbowl, then I'll be giddy, and your rage will flow.

You may have PRETENDED to make peace with the humiliating season, but, c'mon, you're a Raiders fan, you don't know and don't want to know what peace is.

Besides, you'd never give a Bronco fan the satisfaction of knowing she enraged you.
:kiss:

arrowqueen
01-13-2006, 04:53 AM
On the bright side, just to cheer you up, William, across here 'Bronco' was a a variety of toilet paper. Not only that, but it was really horrible toilet paper. It was a bit like wiping your bum with greaseproof paper.

StoryG27
01-13-2006, 04:58 AM
You're not supposed to be cheering him up. You're supposed to enrage him, which apparently turns him on...We'll have to wait and see.

Boy, you really don't want to go to jail, huh?

It's not so bad. It's like an AW convention.

September skies
01-13-2006, 05:01 AM
Question for Haskins:

:heart: William, can you please (preety please...with sugar on top) show me how to dot my I's :heart:with little hearts :heart: on here? i heard you were pretty good at :heart:that sort of thing. I want the heart to be ON TOP of the i - ok? Thank you so much. You are such a sweetheart.

Here - have some hugs and kisses!

http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/images/smilies/emoticonthankyou.gif

William Haskins
01-13-2006, 05:12 AM
if it were possible to beat someone into a coma with smileys, many of you would be lining up for restraining orders.

My-Immortal
01-13-2006, 05:18 AM
Go Bears.....<shrugs>

Dawno
01-13-2006, 06:25 AM
I wonder how *much* of one's real name one needs to use...I use fully half of my real name as my screen-name...

How 'bout the ears, Haskins - annoying enough?

rhymegirl
01-13-2006, 06:29 AM
Question for Haskins:

:heart: William, can you please (preety please...with sugar on top) show me how to dot my I's :heart:with little hearts :heart: on here? i heard you were pretty good at :heart:that sort of thing. I want the heart to be ON TOP of the i - ok? Thank you so much. You are such a sweetheart.

Here - have some hugs and kisses!

http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/images/smilies/emoticonthankyou.gif

Wow, SS, I thought yours was pretty enraging!! I'm amazed that didn't do it. I'll save you a seat at the lunch table in women's prison though.

elisadasilva
01-13-2006, 06:32 AM
WH, Go A hed and cawl the cops.

I'm go in to jail and then I'm goin to write a memoir about angrily languishing in prison while covered in barf and cursing you. Oh wait. It's kind of been done.

rhymegirl
01-13-2006, 06:37 AM
Oh that's right. Someone said William doesn't like stupid people?


Howe abowt iff I spele awl mye wordes wronge or rite a reely stoopid poeme?

The duckie went quack
and the cow went moo,
And the pigs and the chickens
made some loud noises, too.
Wouldn't it be cool
to be a cow or duck?
But if you're not then
you're really out of luck.

rekirts
01-13-2006, 06:37 AM
BOO! Aw heck. I'm pathetic at being annoying. Or maybe not. Is anybody annoyed?

By the way my screen name is my surname backwards with one letter missing. Do you think that's close enough to being my real name?

robeiae
01-13-2006, 06:40 AM
Striker...Striker, Striker, STRIKER!

Ted... Striker? Never heard of him...

rekirts
01-13-2006, 06:42 AM
You forgot the missing letter.

William Haskins
01-13-2006, 06:45 AM
By the way my screen name is my surname backwards with one letter missing. Do you think that's close enough to being my real name?

it might get you a job in the prison laundry or library...

Sage
01-13-2006, 06:57 AM
How can you prosecute someone who is anonymous? If you don't know who they are, you can't exactly press charges.... If you find out who they are, they are no longer anonymous....

William Haskins
01-13-2006, 07:02 AM
IP address is a good start. nevertheless, don't underestimate big brother.

Jo
01-13-2006, 07:27 AM
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:Jump:

Jo
01-13-2006, 07:32 AM
.:idea:

Jo
01-13-2006, 07:34 AM
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:e2tongue:

Sage
01-13-2006, 07:36 AM
IP address is a good start. nevertheless, don't underestimate big brother. Yes, but if you can find them w/ an IP address, can you ever argue that they were being anonymous? :e2sling:

BradyH1861
01-13-2006, 07:43 AM
Or can you prove that it was a certain person at that IP address that was annoying?

Brady

astonwest
01-13-2006, 08:01 AM
my username shares at least 2 letters with my first name, so I should be safe...

William Haskins
01-13-2006, 08:11 AM
i'm going to need you all to go ahead and get up against the wall, please...

maestrowork
01-13-2006, 08:15 AM
Nah-uh, you're going to frisk me...

BradyH1861
01-13-2006, 08:26 AM
i'm going to need you all to go ahead and get up against the wall, please...

And it's up against the wall redneck mother
A mother who has raised her son so well
He's thirty-four and drinking in a honky tonk
Just kicking hippies' asses and raising hell


Brady

elisadasilva
01-13-2006, 08:29 AM
Nah-uh, you're going to frisk me...

ooohhh

can i watch?

Jo
01-13-2006, 08:48 AM
i'm going to need you all to go ahead and get up against the wall, please...

:e2moon:

September skies
01-13-2006, 11:45 AM
Wow, SS, I thought yours was pretty enraging!! I'm amazed that didn't do it. I'll save you a seat at the lunch table in women's prison though.

Looks like we might need a big table! LOL

Hey - does Haskins have the ability to make this whole thread disappear? Or does he not have that much power? I'm thinking if he gets annoyed enough, he may just erase the whole thing.

Hannah
01-13-2006, 01:04 PM
Yes, but if you can find them w/ an IP address, can you ever argue that they were being anonymous? :e2sling:


Unless you know some hacker dude with some sort of scrambler who can mirror IP addresses that change every few minutes.
:e2brows:

rekirts
01-13-2006, 07:32 PM
What if the person is trying to be anonymous, but you know who they are?

Is it anonymous intent, or actual anonimity that counts?

Anonymity, dammit! I just annoyed myself. Now what do I do?

William Haskins
01-13-2006, 07:51 PM
report to your local thoughtcrime processing center.

My-Immortal
01-13-2006, 07:52 PM
You're a Phillip K Dick fan, aren't you? (not sure if I spelled his name right - sorry)

tiny
01-13-2006, 08:07 PM
Watch out MyI, you might irritate Will. You never know what that might bring.

BradyH1861
01-13-2006, 08:40 PM
You never know what that might bring.

I know what it will bring. Frequent cavity searches. Trust me, I annoyed Haskins and now I am having to stand up while I type this.

rekirts
01-13-2006, 09:17 PM
report to your local thoughtcrime processing center.


I live in a small centre and we don't have one of those. I'd have to go to the local RCMP who prefer eating doughnuts to investigating crime, so they have a tendency to blame the victim to get out of work and...wait a minute...er...yah, okay, forget it...

(You might think they'd tell me it was an American law, and to go away and get a life, but to do that they'd actually have to have a clue...)

Unique
01-13-2006, 09:20 PM
what kind of food do you have in that prison, William? is it better than what i'm eating now?

how long can i stay?

BradyH1861
01-13-2006, 09:21 PM
(You might think they'd tell me it was an American law, and to go away and get a life, but to do that they'd actually have to have a clue...)

Ouch!

And to think that I once wanted to move to Canada and be a Mountie. (but only because they have cool red uniforms and march funny)

Brady

William Haskins
01-13-2006, 09:26 PM
what kind of food do you have in that prison, William? is it better than what i'm eating now?

how long can i stay?

freedom fries and kool-aid. you can stay forever. and ever.

Unique
01-13-2006, 09:29 PM
freedom fries and kool-aid. you can stay forever. and ever.

sign me up

StoryG27
01-13-2006, 09:31 PM
Unique, you can room with me. We've got cable, great food, and we can finish up college for free. Plus, we have plenty of time to write.

(Just try to avoid isolation...they only get the basic channels in there...no HBO or Cinemax...It's Hell I tell you, pure Hell).

Unique
01-13-2006, 09:53 PM
great. i can get a Master's in Antisocial Behavior

rekirts
01-13-2006, 10:23 PM
Ouch!

And to think that I once wanted to move to Canada and be a Mountie. Heh. Maybe I should explain where some of that bitterness comes from. Go grab a coffee. This could be a bit long, but ultimately is quite relevant to this thread. To be fair, of course they aren't all incompetent. My husband is a prosecutor and does have to deal with several incompetent officers and it makes his job really stressful so that's where part of my snarkiness came from.

Now for the story of my Anonymous Internet Annoyer. It was someone that I orginally met in a real life writers' group. We eventually became friends and formed an instrumental musical duo. This person had some emotional/mental problems which he mostly kept under control so they weren't that obvious, but eventually he started going off on rants when things didn't go exactly his way.

I started playing music with other people, and he got ticked off and said we should give up our duo and I said fine. I don't think that was the reaction he expected to get. I think I was supposed to plead and grovel or something. Anyway a couple of weeks later he suggested we get the duo going again and I said no thanks. For 6 months after that I kept getting emails that were either subtly undermining or outright nasty--from a variety of people I'd never heard of, who used hotmail and yahoo accounts.

I showed the first two emails to my hubby and he said, "Maybe **** is sending them." The lightbulb went on and I knew my husband was right and that all the subsequent emails from strangers were actually from this guy. I ignored them, hoping he'd just quit, but finally replied to one of them basically saying: I know it's you. Cut it out. Shortly after that I got an email from him under his real name complaining about how he'd been getting nasty emails from strangers for 5 months and if it was me to please stop.

As it turned out, someone else from the writers' group had previously received and was still receiving nasty emails from this guy (first under his real name and then under aliases) so we got together and discussed it. She wanted to go to the police. I didn't think it would do much good, but agreed to go with her. The emails were vindictive, but there were no threats, and though we found them to be harassing, the law probably wouldn't. When the officer said they couldn't do anything I wasn't surprised, but what really ticked both of us off is when he said, "You shouldn't have given him your email address." EXCUSE ME??? I'd known this guy for 15 years althogether. We were FRIENDS. I didn't know he was going to go all psycho on me. Besides, we had mutual friends. He could easily get either of our email addresses without us giving them to him. But NO, it's all our fault because we let him have our email addresses. :rant:

So anyway, to make a long story even longer...the other woman had the same internet server as him and we went to them with our emails. They had originally told her to go to the police first, but this time we saw someone with a brain. They took the complaint VERY seriously, investigated, proved all the nasty emails were from him, and then had a serious talk with him. The emails stopped except for one a month or so later in which he confessed and apologized to me. I accepted the apology and have had nothing to do with him since, thank goodness.

tiny
01-13-2006, 10:30 PM
freedom fries and kool-aid. you can stay forever. and ever.



I don't know, this is getting very House of Love, prison style. And more guys. Poor Brady, unless... never mind.

Paint
01-13-2006, 11:34 PM
[QUOTE=BradyH1861]I know what it will bring. Frequent cavity searches. Trust me, I annoyed Haskins and now I am having to stand up while I type this.[/QU

http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/images/smilies/EmoteJaw.gif http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/images/smilies/EmoteJaw.gif Does this mean I have to delete all my blog posts that refer to B*** in an annoying manner? Ratsos! I'll just do my time with the rest of yas.

rhymegirl
01-13-2006, 11:43 PM
I don't know, this is getting very House of Love, prison style. And more guys. Poor Brady, unless... never mind.

Yes, can you imagine all of us AWers in prison together? They'd probably kick us out and let us go free just to keep the peace.

Jaycinth
01-14-2006, 12:25 AM
The title of this thread is more of a solicitation for annoyance than a warning against annoyance.

Since William has been responding positively ( well positively for him) to the posts that suggests that he is either not annoyed or that he wants to be annoyed.

If he were to respond to each post with tears and threats..(STOP STOP YOU ARE ANNOYING ME) then we could, perhaps, attempt to take him seriously.

As it is this thread apperars to be nothing more than an attempt by our dear Mr. Haskins to create a virtual writing women's prison where he can exercise his purient interests.

DId he suggest cavity searching RAY?!?! or was it Rob? Hmmmm.

And Haskins just got Brady on board because he's sucking up to Brady because Brady's going to be on the Supreme court.

Oh, well. Back to work. Sorry I couldn't be annoying, but then I'd have to use a fake name.

Unique
01-14-2006, 12:27 AM
i just want an upgrade in chow. if all i have to do to get it is annoy mr. haskins then - :e2tongue:


when's dinner?

BradyH1861
01-14-2006, 12:27 AM
Can I be locked up with the women?

rhymegirl
01-14-2006, 12:46 AM
Can I be locked up with the women?

Sure. We can't go two years without a guy.

pconsidine
01-14-2006, 01:10 AM
Course, does being locked up with Brady really solve that problem?



(Sorry, B. It was a gimme.)

tiny
01-14-2006, 01:11 AM
I've always been more of a pest myself, so I'm not worried. But if the rooms are co-ed, I can always up my routine. Though Mr. Haskins seems annoyed with everyone and the place might crowd up real quick.

William Haskins
01-14-2006, 01:15 AM
Though Mr. Haskins seems annoyed with everyone and the place might crowd up real quick.

damn right.

tiny
01-14-2006, 01:17 AM
My mom always told me if I had an issue with one teacher it might be them, but if I had issues with all of them it was me. Are you sure you aren't problem? Maybe you might need a little lock away yourself, with Brady.

William Haskins
01-14-2006, 01:25 AM
Are you sure you aren't problem? believe me, i KNOW i'm the problem. i annoy myself more than anyone. but i'm already locked in a prison, of my own device.

tiny
01-14-2006, 01:30 AM
i annoy myself more than anyone.

You should but that to a vote.

William Haskins
01-14-2006, 01:35 AM
it'd be a landslide.

Elincoln
01-14-2006, 01:40 AM
Actually, I just realized a large loop hole to Will's fun.

Those of us who posted where we lived on that map a few months back are not going to be punished. We can't have anonymity if the complainant KNOWS where we live.

tiny
01-14-2006, 01:43 AM
it'd be a landslide.


In which direction? That you completely annoy yourself or that you drive everyone else nuts? Because, to be fair, you would only get one vote.

William Haskins
01-14-2006, 01:59 AM
In which direction? That you completely annoy yourself or that you drive everyone else nuts? Because, to be fair, you would only get one vote.

that's true i, guess. but, by all indications, either choice is valid.

tiny
01-14-2006, 02:04 AM
So, since you annoy yourself so much, have the helicopters come for you yet? Will the jail cell be you on one side and everyone else smashed into the corner (except Brady of course)?

Just trying to get a handle on whether or not I should push my luck since you seem rather amicable today.

William Haskins
01-14-2006, 02:06 AM
So, since you annoy yourself so much, have the helicopters come for you yet?

because i use my real name, silly.

tiny
01-14-2006, 02:13 AM
Oh. Yeah. Me too.

astonwest
01-14-2006, 03:28 AM
:e2moon:He said against the wall, not the table...


Though Mr. Haskins seems annoyed with everyone and the place might crowd up real quick.He gets paid by the feds based on head count...

BradyH1861
01-14-2006, 05:27 AM
Course, does being locked up with Brady really solve that problem?



(Sorry, B. It was a gimme.)

You wound me!

Brady

tiny
01-14-2006, 05:56 AM
He gets paid by the feds based on head count...

The whole head or just part?

Jo
01-14-2006, 06:52 AM
He said against the wall, not the table...

:whip:

He gets paid by the feds based on head count...

Which head are you referring to? :rolleyes:

(Aw, c'mon. I'm trying. Very trying. I just wanna come visit the land of the free! Book me, orificer!)

special needs
01-14-2006, 07:51 AM
Uh--where do you go to get your name changed to Special Needs?

BradyH1861
01-14-2006, 07:56 AM
As the self proclaimed AW Chief Justice, I hereby find this law unconstitutional and hereby declare that every prosecution made under its provisions are null and void. I order all those imprisoned under the provisions of said act released. I also find that their accuser has knowingly and willfully violated their civil rights under the color of law and must pay each victim of said deprivation of rights a sum of no less than 50 billion dollars apiece.

So ordered on this 13th day of January 2006.

Chief Justice Brady, with Justice D. Banana joining.

astonwest
01-14-2006, 08:49 AM
The whole head or just part?
The whole head...
removed, preferably...
(they're easier to store for counting that way)

tiny
01-14-2006, 09:00 AM
The whole head...
removed, preferably...
(they're easier to store for counting that way)


In jars I assume.

I have a big gas kiln if you need to get rid of the bodies. I could use the bone ash honestly, it makes for fantastic Carbon Trap Shinos (that's a glaze for pottery) and it's expensive to buy.

Leave them at the end of the back driveway, I'll pick'em up before the sun comes up and they start to attract attention.

writerterri
01-15-2006, 05:56 AM
Do I annoy you cause I need a brake from life.

I was watching a show on women prisoners. They had these quaint little quiet cells all fixed up cute. I found my self wanting to be there for about a week. Is that weird?

astonwest
01-15-2006, 06:16 AM
In jars I assume.
Jars just get in the way...

tiny
01-15-2006, 06:19 AM
Jars just get in the way...

You must have a very absorbent rug, cause I believe heads can get icky once removed from the body.

astonwest
01-15-2006, 06:41 AM
Heavy duty drains...

tiny
01-15-2006, 06:44 AM
Oh, like a slaughter house. You must have interesting furniture. Stainless steel perhaps. I knew you were the scary one. :D

September skies
01-15-2006, 07:53 AM
What if you annoy yourself?

writerterri
01-15-2006, 10:53 AM
What if you annoy yourself?


You couldn't escape you in jail. So would it be worth it?

Unique
01-15-2006, 05:02 PM
You couldn't escape you in jail. So would it be worth it?

yes, mr. haskins makes a fine baloney sandwich

astonwest
01-16-2006, 12:15 AM
I knew you were the scary one. :D
It's always the ones who won't show their face...
explaining the need for the law, of course...

kdnxdr
01-16-2006, 02:38 AM
I like my name: kdnxdr, and I'm not changing it for Nobody. And Nobody can just go get a life and a name change and what's he even gonna do after he's not president anymore? Then, who's he gonna boss around and play tyrant with? Not with my blocks!! What he doesn't realize is that after a couple of more years, he doesn't get to pass anymore laws, or maybe he does and he's just going law passing crazy. What really bugs me about those legislative sessions, when did it be okay to "slip in" legislation with bills so that no one really knows what's getting passed into law anyway? Whoever said that was okay. No wonder all these laws are so screwed up, it's the way there passed being something that they are not and being hidden so that no one never knows for sure what's going on. I think our ship might be sinking because it's so full of stupid, freaked out laws that satisfy lobbists and corporations and WE THE PEOPLE are so having our heads stuck up the tv that we have no clue who is even on second!!!!!!!!!!!!!

William, are you annoyed yet, cause I'm getting a cramp?

kdnxdr (living on indistinct, as yet discovered isle off the coast of some indistinquishable continent with my head wrapped in wet towels)

William Haskins
01-16-2006, 02:46 AM
William, are you annoyed yet, cause I'm getting a cramp?

yes, you did well. please pack your bags and await the feds, who should be arriving shortly. you can celebrate your arrival at your new home with some genital electrocution.

enjoy.

tiny
01-16-2006, 05:01 AM
Will there be random beatings and stern lectures at your prison, William?

William Haskins
01-16-2006, 05:04 AM
more like stern beatings and random lectures.

tiny
01-16-2006, 05:10 AM
Will you be covering subjects interesting to one person or all of us and do the beatings involve some sort of strap or soap in a towl?

mkcbunny
01-16-2006, 05:25 AM
1) Sylvia Plath was a terrible poet. She was a rambling suicidal lunatic. Who wants to read that crap?!

2) Everyone leave the Poetry forum and never come back.

3) Post knee-jerk liberal rant full of blatant falsehoods, specious claims, and useless suggestions, and include link to Barbra Streisand audio file.

Does that earn me a stint in solitary?

William Haskins
01-16-2006, 05:34 AM
you just earned yourself a one-way ticket.

mkcbunny
01-16-2006, 05:40 AM
you just earned yourself a one-way ticket.
I bet #1 would have done it all by its lonesome.

BradyH1861
01-16-2006, 08:38 AM
you can celebrate your arrival at your new home with some genital electrocution.
enjoy.

What a shocking idea!!!!!

tiny
01-16-2006, 10:03 AM
What a shocking idea!!!!!


Your post, along with William's, and that dancing banana you seem to be flaunting, are disturbing in so many ways. And I'm not easily disturbed.

poetinahat
01-16-2006, 10:48 AM
And I'm not easily disturbed.
And I don't have the bruises to prove it...

tiny
01-17-2006, 02:03 AM
And I don't have the bruises to prove it...

I don't leave bruises...

poetinahat
01-17-2006, 02:26 AM
I don't leave bruises...
Case closed.

robeiae
05-15-2006, 07:18 PM
1) Sylvia Plath was a terrible poet. She was a rambling suicidal lunatic. Who wants to read that crap?!By the way, who is Sylvia Plath? Is she like Susan Sontag in some way?

Rob :)

Maryn
05-15-2006, 10:26 PM
By the way, who is Sylvia Plath? Is she like Susan Sontag in some way?Well, Sylvia Plath's name anagrams to "Vital, shy pal" and "Lavish aptly." Susan Sontag's is "So Satan's gun" and "Snug to an a$$."

You decide.

Maryn, who thinks she'll make all decisions based on anagrams

janetbellinger
05-15-2006, 10:29 PM
By the way, who is Sylvia Plath? Is she like Susan Sontag in some way?

Rob :)

I didn't think Sylvia Plath was a raving suicidal maniac. Those fish hooks that her kids dug into her with their demands and needs struck home when I was in my own deep depression, kind of like a depressive role model.

pconsidine
05-15-2006, 10:34 PM
By the way, who is Sylvia Plath? Is she like Susan Sontag in some way?

Rob :)
They're both cofounders of the Chicks in Black Turtlenecks Club. Men need not apply.

rich
05-15-2006, 10:47 PM
An aside: there have been cases on WWW where people/companies have sued for a number of reasons; mostly slander. For the most part It's an insidiious little game. Companies do it because they have a team of lawyers who are sitting around ipsofactoring while the company is paying their salaries. Most individuals do it because they're willing, if the shyster finds an edge, to take the half or two thirds settlement without shelling out bucks to the lawyer.

It's a whole new world.

mkcbunny
05-15-2006, 11:50 PM
I didn't think Sylvia Plath was a raving suicidal maniac. Those fish hooks that her kids dug into her with their demands and needs struck home when I was in my own deep depression, kind of like a depressive role model.
Please note that the purpose of the original statement was to annoy William. All comments in that post were expressly designed to irk him. It's an old thread, so anyone who's new to the thread, please don't take it seriously. Thanks.

louisgodwin
05-16-2006, 03:21 AM
Exactly. Please read the thread title and refer to the thread-starting post.


But also please feel free to join in. Annoying William is lots of fun! :D

tiny
05-16-2006, 03:27 AM
But William is easy to annoy. He gets annoyed when you look at him funny. Shouldn't it be a hard target? Wouldn't that be so much more fun?

(jail's not so bad)

Bret
05-16-2006, 04:05 AM
Another real name escapes prosecution.

Too bad. I was looking forward to the naked pyramids while Lindy Englund threatened me with an attack dog.

Maybe next time!

mkcbunny
05-16-2006, 08:11 AM
But William is easy to annoy. He gets annoyed when you look at him funny. Shouldn't it be a hard target? Wouldn't that be so much more fun?

(jail's not so bad)
I wonder if he's annoyed that this thread has risen.

Puddle Jumper
05-16-2006, 08:22 AM
Each time I see this thread I keep thinking that there has been a Jail forum created to send posters who annoy the mods. :tongue