Hey. I'm new to the boards, but have some knowledge in this area, so I hope I can help!
First of all, I strongly encourage you NOT to call your local PD. Most dispatch centers are woefully understaffed. At mine, there was generally one person on to answer emergency AND non-emergency lines. Plus, they'd give you an earful if you called to ask that. And then they'd gossip about you for the rest of the week.
To the best of my knowledge, most dispatch centers use standardized EMD protocol developed by doctors (liability reasons). Priority Dispatch is the one I know. That being said, without the flash cards or the computer program, it's hard to remember exactly what to say and in what order. This is something you could probably contact the company about (although I believe their protocol is proprietary).
That being said, some rogue dispatchers would just wing it, so whatever you have the dispatcher say is at least possible. That's the stuff lawsuits are made of.
What you've written seems plausible. A reader might just assume you've skipped over the more detailed instructions from the dispatcher.
I don't remember the exact wording or order, but if you want more detail, I think the dispatcher's side of the conversation in this incident would include the following:
911, what is the address of your emergency?
What is the problem?
Is the patient breathing/does the patient have a pulse? (This is one I don't remember exact details on - for some conditions, you immediately start CPR, others you do rescue breathing. You'd think it would be based on whether or not their is a heartbeat, but sometimes it is based on circumstances...weird, I know.)
Is the patient conscious? (If so, have the patient rest comfortably. If not, roll the patient onto his or her side in case of vomiting)
What drug and how much did the patient ingest?
Once they have they've done all they can for the patient, dispatchers will give pre-arrival instructions: lock up pets, make sure the doors are unlocked, have patient's medications handy.
The dispatcher would also try to get the name of the caller, the name of the patient, and the age and gender of the patient whenever it was possible.
edited due to unbearable typo