View Full Version : Awkward dinners, anyone?

05-30-2012, 04:04 AM
You ever have one of those dinners where you want to leave, really are trying to leave but have no clue on how to do so?

A few years back I was staying with a friend of mine who lives right across the street from his parents. They're both full-on Japanese and tended to invite us over for dinner. I loved it because it gave me the chance to eat a bunch of hawaiian/japanese food I hadn't had in ages.


On this particular day, my buddy was feeling sick so he headed back to his place to lie down and grab some medicine. Leaving me alone with his parents.

If the mom had't been busy, there would've been no problems. She's the grouchiest, most cynical and foul-mouthed old lady I have ever come across. As one can expect, this puts her quite high in my esteem. But she's babysitting a kid and kept busy running around the house after him.

So its just me and the dad.


Yoshi's dad is what I imagine your stereotypical traditional Japanese guy must be like. Meaning he always looks emotionless but with a seething rage hidden right beneath the surface. As if any second he could bust out the katana above their showstand (yes they have a katana and the smaller one a watashi? or something i think it's called) shout out a kiei! and decapitate your ass. The worst part of it all? He's nothing but begrudgingly polite the entire time. Making it impossible to tell whether he kind of likes you or despises you. Since I'm white, I'm inclined to think he leans toward the latter.

So here I am, alone at this table with a guy who doesn't resemble a human being so much as a very convincing robot, with a japanese show on the television, which I can maybe grasp half of, due to my nerdier years of watching anime and the occasional subtitle.

The most conversation I got out of the guy was when I cracked a joke once and he honestly went. "Ha. Ha. Ha. That is very funny." Now, that is not to imply that he laughed. Oh no. He actually did say "Ha. Ha. Ha."

Then he glared at me with the look that said, "YOU HAVE DISHONORED MY FAMILY! FOR THAT YOU MUST DIE!"

After about fifteen minutes of dealing with this, I fucking cracked. I'm not ashamed to admit it. I can handle someone screaming in my face, I can handle people threatening to kill me, I can even handle someone threatening to physically harm me.

Quiet polite Japanese man? Can't handle that shit.

Silver King
05-30-2012, 05:08 AM
Dude, you need to find a different audience for this shit, preferably far, far away from this site.

And don't bother telling me that I don't get your special brand of humor, because I've got it, all right.