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PeeDee
01-03-2006, 12:12 PM
In this thread, we are going to discuss a topic. We are going to continually discuss it. we are not, as we have a tendency to do, going to get distracted, going to provide anecdotes, going to discuss anything but the topic at hand. We are going to prove that we are reasonable, mature, focus-able adults. This will show our spouses once and for all, unless it doesn't.

The topic is:

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

September skies
01-03-2006, 12:14 PM
To calculate the amount of wood that is chucked, and the other properties of wood chucking, using the TECHNO CNC WOOD LATHE the following values and assumptions will be used:



The spindle speed of the lathe has a range of 500-2000 RPM
The diameter of the chuck is 6 in. approximately 15 cm.
A one kilogram block of wood made out of American Spruce with a density of .541 grams per cubic centimeter has approximate dimensions of 12x12x12 cm.
An attachment is used to feed wood blocks at a rate equal to the rate of the chuck spinning (1 Block Per Revolution).
The lathe is run for 1 minute.


At 500 revolutions per minute:





500 RPM x 1 Block Per Revolution x 1 minute = 500 Blocks
500 RPM / 60 seconds = 8.33 Revolutions per second = 8.33 Blocks per second


At 2000 revolutions per minute:





2000 RPM x 1 Block Per Revolution x 1 minute = 2000 Blocks
2000 RPM / 60 seconds = 33.3 Revolutions per second = 33.3 Blocks per second

Richard
01-03-2006, 12:16 PM
Guybrush: "How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?"

Carpenter: "A woodchuck could chuck no amount of wood since a woodchuck can't chuck wood."

Guybrush: "But if a woodchuck could chuck and would chuck some amount of wood, what amount of wood would a woodchuck chuck?"

Carpenter: "Even if a woodchuck could chuck wood and even if a woodchuck would chuck wood, should a woodchuck chuck wood?"

Guybrush: "A woodchuck should chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood, as long as a woodchuck would chuck wood."

Carpenter: "Oh shut up."

Alternatively, GOOGLE KNOWS ALL (http://answers.google.com/answers/threadview?id=13839).

PeeDee
01-03-2006, 12:17 PM
But we would need to account for rest periods for the woodchuck, which is not a lathe, and which would eventually need to pee. Also, are we certain that it's an american spruce that our dear woodchuck is chopping away at? Perhaps it's a spruce, which has less dense wood and a great deal less wood in general?

watcher
01-03-2006, 12:21 PM
I had a friend named Chuck Wood.

brokenfingers
01-03-2006, 12:30 PM
On behalf of woodchucks everywhere, I find this thread offensive. Not every woodchuck feels a desire to chuck wood you know.

Pat~
01-03-2006, 06:24 PM
On behalf of Adults With ADD, I find this thread offensive. Not every Adult feels a desire to Stick To Topic you know.
:tongue

rhymegirl
01-03-2006, 06:45 PM
Um, I've already forgotten the question. :Huh:

PeeDee
01-03-2006, 07:01 PM
Approximately six to seven posts. Wow. That is probably the AW record for Longest-Kept-To-A-Topic. Someone should record that in the Minutes.

Unique
01-03-2006, 07:03 PM
Back on Topic -

I don't know how much wood any particular woodchuck could chuck. Personally, I prefer them to chuck a lot. They're more tender that way and larger, too.
Tasty.

PeeDee
01-03-2006, 07:06 PM
I dont' believe there are many dishes you can make with woodchuck. Certainly, I have never seen Cream of Woodchuck soup, nor has anyone a WCLT sandwich. I have had a complete lack of Woodchuck Jerky.

Perhaps I'm just sheltered.

Unless of course, you meant the wood. Which case, you're going to find even fewer foodbased items, though you can perhaps find a number which give you teh same basic taste and texture as a wood-based food product. Anything by Chef Boyardee, for example. Also, Hardees.

brokenfingers
01-03-2006, 07:07 PM
Define chuck.

Gehanna
01-03-2006, 07:27 PM
As much wood as a woodchuck would, if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

Mark Anderson
01-03-2006, 07:32 PM
Wisconsin or Nevada woodchucks?

brokenfingers
01-03-2006, 07:36 PM
I must say, this thread and all the comments from our educated members has inspired me to really stop and think about it.

I was kind of complacent about this issue before but now I believe I will start a grass-roots organization to defend woodchucks and their right to chuck wood.

Jaycinth
01-03-2006, 07:48 PM
I dont' believe there are many dishes you can make with woodchuck. Certainly, I have never seen Cream of Woodchuck soup, nor has anyone a WCLT sandwich. I have had a complete lack of Woodchuck Jerky.

Perhaps I'm just sheltered.

Unless of course, you meant the wood. Which case, you're going to find even fewer foodbased items, though you can perhaps find a number which give you teh same basic taste and texture as a wood-based food product. Anything by Chef Boyardee, for example. Also, Hardees.

My cat ate part of a woodchuck once. If it had been chucking wood instead of digging in my garden it could have avoided being the 'chuck of the month' special.

What kind of wood is this woodchuck chucking? It can make a difference when you take into account density, humidity and fragrance. Now, assuming the woodchuck is dedicated to the chucking cause, and that the woodchuck is sufficiently motivated to perform..( chuck the wood or the cat eats you) and that the woodchuck has no disability that would prevent it from chucking the wood, and that the woodchuck has no allergies to wood.


Ummm and how does one assume ADD from a thread dedicated to woodchucks chucking?

Unique
01-03-2006, 07:55 PM
How to Chunck a Woodchuck (http://www.cooks.com/rec/search/0,1-0,woodchuck,FF.html), Chuck.

Pat~
01-03-2006, 08:06 PM
Ummm and how does one assume ADD from a thread dedicated to woodchucks chucking?

Ennnh! Off-topic comment!!




(see thread title)

PeeDee
01-03-2006, 08:10 PM
Pointing out off-topic comments is off-topic!

Aaaaack! I'm off -topic!

AAAAH! I did it again!!

(er.)

The woodchuck is twelve years old, male, does not smoke, does not have ADD, is from Northern Vermont, and the tree he shall be working with today is a small glade of Birch trees, all in good health, do not smoke. It is early spring.

Pat~
01-03-2006, 09:14 PM
I woodchuck this tendency to go off topic if I could, but since I can't I shall chuck the woodchuck topic...(although I am in otherwise good health since I do not smoke, though I did one spring under a birch tree when I was twelve years old)...

rhymegirl
01-03-2006, 09:19 PM
Geesh! I can't believe none of you posted a pic of a woodchuck!

Jaycinth
01-03-2006, 09:21 PM
On behalf of Adults With ADD, I find this thread offensive. Not every Adult feels a desire to Stick To Topic you know.
:tongue

WAS NOToff topic! Someone else claimed an ADD relationship with woodchucks before I did. I just asked how ADD could chuck wooodchucks when it is a symptom of the cause and not an actual woodchuck.

JAlpha
01-03-2006, 09:22 PM
http://www.pixeldreams.com/images/grndhog.gif Click on me and I'll speak to you! (http://www.pixeldreams.com/sounds/woodchuk.aiff)

alleycat
01-03-2006, 09:28 PM
What if the woodchuck sees his shadow? Does that mean six more weeks of shucking but no chucking? Lazy a$$ woodchucks!

Dawno
01-03-2006, 09:30 PM
I knew it couldn't last long. Nyah Nyah Nyah

scarletpeaches
01-03-2006, 09:33 PM
I would upchuck if I saw a woodchuck's woody.

Pat~
01-03-2006, 09:33 PM
WAS NOToff topic! Someone else claimed an ADD relationship with woodchucks before I did. I just asked how ADD could chuck wooodchucks when it is a symptom of the cause and not an actual woodchuck.


:idea:

PeeDee
01-03-2006, 09:39 PM
I would upchuck if I saw a woodchuck's woody.

No you wouldn't. You would charge him five dollars. :D

Pat~
01-03-2006, 09:48 PM
:e2seesaw: (I am not going to say it. Nope, nuh uh....)

September skies
01-03-2006, 10:05 PM
Geesh! I can't believe none of you posted a pic of a woodchuck!

I was going to but I didn't want PeeDee to accuse me of being the first one going off the subject by not "discussing" it.

anyway, I tried and it wouldn't show up - i guess it wasn't g-rated. LOL


(http://images.google.com/images?q=tbn:7bKjiro54DYJ:www.schoolbanners.net/components/mascots/largeimages/woodchuck-01lg.gif)

September skies
01-03-2006, 10:08 PM
This woodchuck is SAWING wood - not chopping wood - so is that technically off the subject or is that still allowed? And....anyone have any idea as to what the heck he is sawing off? Is it his own hand? Or some wood?

ETA: someone removed the pic
http://www.markallen.com/art/drawings/drawings/drawings/woodchuck.jpg

PeeDee
01-03-2006, 10:11 PM
Sawing? I mean, if you get really close, his sharpened teeth are striking the wood repeatedly at an angle to the indent which he has previously made, which is therefore a chopping motion, whereas he would need to (deep breath) be using the serrated edges of his teeth, which he does not possess, to go back and forth across the surface of the wood to cause a "sawing" motion.

brokenfingers
01-03-2006, 10:12 PM
focus people, focus.

September skies
01-03-2006, 10:16 PM
I'm trying - I'm trying

(breathing in and out deeply while chanting "Woodchuck, Woodchuck, woodchuck")

Dawno
01-03-2006, 10:18 PM
The Social Ramifications of Woodchucks Chucking Wood (http://www.people.virginia.edu/%7Ejbk9y/wdcksoc.html)

PeeDee
01-03-2006, 10:22 PM
Veeeeery interesting. But since our twelve years old, male, does not smoke, does not have ADD, is from Northern Vermont woodchuck has not yet read this article, is he fully aware of what he is supposed to be doing with the wood?

Perhaps there is some sort of Beaver, Woodchuck alliance? After all, the Beavers could make valuable use of wood. Perhaps they are designing four-poster beds and due to the massive amount of wood needed, they have enlisted the support of the Woodchuck community?

PeeDee
01-03-2006, 10:23 PM
Sorry, didn't know we were supposed to illustrate our dialogue.

http://www.laurajamieson.com/images/lemur_thumb.jpg

MacAllister
01-03-2006, 10:24 PM
And what about beavers? You can't really have a discussion about this, and not take beavers into consideration, can you?

Dawno
01-03-2006, 10:27 PM
That's not a woodchuck, that's a lemur. Did you know John Cleese has a lemur named after him?

brokenfingers
01-03-2006, 10:27 PM
And what about beavers? You can't really have a discussion about this, and not take beavers into consideration, can you?
Now, I'm all ears. Oddly enough this is a subject that is dear to my heart....

PeeDee
01-03-2006, 10:27 PM
That is not a Lemur. That is a Woodchuck. I dare you to prove me wrong.

John Cleese was actually named after a Lemur. They're just cleverly revealing it.

.....I am off topic......AGH!

alleycat
01-03-2006, 10:33 PM
It doesn't matter. All the wood chucking has been out-sourced to China. All the woodchucks now work at Wal-Mart.

PeeDee
01-03-2006, 10:34 PM
In the furniture department......?

alleycat
01-03-2006, 10:36 PM
No, lawn and garden.

rhymegirl
01-03-2006, 10:38 PM
Here's your beaver. Looks something like a woodchuck, doesn't it?

PeeDee
01-03-2006, 10:39 PM
Considering the general width and size of the sapling trees which Wal-Mart sells in their lawn and garden department, I think that these gainfully employed Woodchucks are not getting a great many quarts of wood cut up and shipped out.

September skies
01-03-2006, 10:40 PM
Are woodchucks and woodpeckers related? they don't look anything alike, yet, they both love wood

brokenfingers
01-03-2006, 10:41 PM
Woodpeckers!?!?!

Please, let's stick to the subject at hand:

Beavers...

Anyone know any good ways to eat 'em?

rhymegirl
01-03-2006, 10:43 PM
Are woodchucks and woodpeckers related? they don't look anything alike, yet, they both love wood
:ROFL: I'm not even going there.

Dawno
01-03-2006, 10:43 PM
That is not a Lemur. That is a Woodchuck. I dare you to prove me wrong.

John Cleese was actually named after a Lemur. They're just cleverly revealing it.

.....I am off topic......AGH!

Woodchucks (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Woodchuck)

also known as groundhogs or whistlepigs. This is a picture of the most famous one of all, Punxsutawney Phil
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v304/Ebil_Librarian/groundhogs/PunxsutawneyPhil.jpg


Lemurs (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lemurs)

Your 'woodchuck' looks a lot like M. griseorufus or Mouse Lemur. But I could be wrong.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v304/Ebil_Librarian/groundhogs/mouse2.jpg

Nicholas S.H.J.M Woodhouse
01-03-2006, 10:45 PM
take them out to dinner and compliment them on their shoes...oh god, sorry.

alleycat
01-03-2006, 10:46 PM
Woodpeckers!?!?!

Please, let's stick to the subject at hand:

Beavers...

Anyone know any good ways to eat 'em?
Lots of ketchup....

PeeDee
01-03-2006, 10:47 PM
In this life, and on this planet, there are a great many things which love wood. Very few of them are related. Allow me to list several things which love wood, by which I hope to prove my point, hem hem...

I love wood, #1 (http://www.richardayres.net/wildlife/great_spotted_woodpecker.jpg)

I love wood, #2 (http://home.wi.rr.com/kiekenbush/images/woodchuck2.jpg)

I love wood, #3 (http://pub.tv2.no/multimedia/TV2/archive/00129/cameron_diaz_129799a.jpg)

I love wood, #4 (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/member.php?u=76)

There. I think my case is well proven.

Dawno
01-03-2006, 10:47 PM
Here's your beaver. Looks something like a woodchuck, doesn't it?

Beavers are semi-aquatic rodents (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rodent) native to North America (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/North_America) and Europe (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Europe). They are the only members of the family (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Family_%28biology%29) Castoridae, which contains a single genus (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Genus), Castor. Genetic research has shown the European and North American beaver populations to be distinct species (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Species) and that hybridization (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hybrid) is unlikely.

The Groundhog (Marmota monax), also called a Woodchuck or Whistlepig, is a rodent (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rodent) of the family Sciuridae (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sciuridae), belonging to the group of large ground squirrels known as marmots (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marmot).

They are both of the order Rodentia but in different families.

brokenfingers
01-03-2006, 10:48 PM
Does anyone else have problems with hair in your teeth when eating one of the lil' critters?

alleycat
01-03-2006, 10:49 PM
You must "be" the wood in order to love wood. -Ancient Zen proverb

alleycat
01-03-2006, 10:51 PM
Does anyone else have problems with hair in your teeth when eating one of the lil' critters?
Are we still talking about woodchucks, or your sex life?

Okay, okay....I'll go away.

Pat~
01-03-2006, 10:51 PM
The Social Ramifications of Woodchucks Chucking Wood (http://www.people.virginia.edu/%7Ejbk9y/wdcksoc.html)

I, for one, found this article very enlightening. Of great relevance, even.

"They are known as whistle pigs due to the whistling sound that the animal makes."

I mean, any discussion purporting to be about woodchucks should, of necessity, also include pertinent factoids about pigs, should it not?

PeeDee
01-03-2006, 10:56 PM
I move to table this motion. What pertinent facts about pigs shall we take into account for our extremely focused discussion about woodchucks and beavers the animals?

brokenfingers
01-03-2006, 10:58 PM
Don't forget woodpeckers.

rhymegirl
01-03-2006, 10:58 PM
Uh, there are some PIGS here on Absolute Write?

brokenfingers
01-03-2006, 11:00 PM
Uh, there are some PIGS here on Absolute Write?How so?

Pat~
01-03-2006, 11:01 PM
Uh, there are some PIGS here on Absolute Write?

<<<<<-------Ahem....

Dawno
01-03-2006, 11:03 PM
I move to table this motion. What pertinent facts about pigs shall we take into account for our extremely focused discussion about woodchucks and beavers the animals?

Here is the first post:


In this thread, we are going to discuss a topic. We are going to continually discuss it. we are not, as we have a tendency to do, going to get distracted, going to provide anecdotes, going to discuss anything but the topic at hand. We are going to prove that we are reasonable, mature, focus-able adults. This will show our spouses once and for all, unless it doesn't.

The topic is:

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

Where does it mention beavers? I move that discussion of beavers is OT.

brokenfingers
01-03-2006, 11:05 PM
And what about beavers? You can't really have a discussion about this, and not take beavers into consideration, can you?Are you saying we should be woodchuck snobs?

Pat~
01-03-2006, 11:06 PM
I'll second Dawno's move :D .

MacAllister
01-03-2006, 11:06 PM
Where does it mention beavers? I move that discussion of beavers is OT.
It is NOT! What are you, the OT gestapo? Besides, they're both wood-loving rodents, right?

It's merely exploring the subject in greater breadth and detail.

Dawno
01-03-2006, 11:08 PM
I, for one, found this article very enlightening. Of great relevance, even.

"They are known as whistle pigs due to the whistling sound that the animal makes."

I mean, any discussion purporting to be about woodchucks should, of necessity, also include pertinent factoids about pigs, should it not?

Anyone else ruin their keyboard over this article? I nearly choked when I read (underline mine to denote the point at which I had a near death experience with Arizona Diet Green Tea)


The woodchucks were watched in the wild for two months. The person watching the woodchucks dressed as a large woodchuck and wore woodchuck scent in order to not disturb the woodchucks. The original scent used was that of a woodchuck in heat, this did not have the desired effect and its use was discontinued. Observations were written in a field book every 17 minutes from 7 a.m. to 7 p.m. It was later learned that woodchucks were very active at night. This reported nocturnal behavior is probably not important to the results anyway, but it was necessary to mention. It should probably also be mentioned that one of the grad students who worked as an observer was a cultural studies major and could not differentiate between a woodchuck and some breeds of dogs. This should not greatly affect the results.

Pat~
01-03-2006, 11:10 PM
I move to table this motion. What pertinent facts about pigs shall we take into account for our extremely focused discussion about woodchucks and beavers the animals?

Possibly relevant: What sound do pigs make? (http://www.ics.uci.edu/~pazzani/4H/Pigs.au)

And, of course we probably ought to introduce an OT picture:

rhymegirl
01-03-2006, 11:12 PM
Besides, they're both wood-loving rodents, right?

It's merely exploring the subject in greater breadth and detail.

Yes, beavers are wood-loving.

And I won't comment on the second part.

PeeDee
01-03-2006, 11:17 PM
Then the motion is passed. Beavers and pigs, whistling, singing, or otherwise, are officially Off-Topic. We are discussing the Woodchuck and his capacity for chucking wood alone. All offenders shall be sentenced to Kitchen Duty in the AW Cafe.

MacAllister
01-03-2006, 11:21 PM
*sigh* Anything I vote for always loses...*grumble, grumble*

PeeDee
01-03-2006, 11:24 PM
Amendment to Motion: MacAllister may continue to discuss Whistling Pigs at length and breadth and in great detail, however, no one may reply to anything he says on any matter other than the Woodchuck and its abilities when it comes to chucking wood.

So says Pete, bossy-head. :D

MacAllister
01-03-2006, 11:25 PM
Hah. Sez you.

Brokenfingers, at least, would rather talk about beavers than woodchucks, anyway!

Nicholas S.H.J.M Woodhouse
01-03-2006, 11:27 PM
i'm game. maybe set up a public group? pm people.
no, but really.

PeeDee
01-03-2006, 11:27 PM
That probably should be a whole 'nother thread, and if I wasn't scared that the Mod Squad would send Big Louie after me, I'd start it.

Dawno
01-03-2006, 11:27 PM
It is NOT! What are you, the OT gestapo? Besides, they're both wood-loving rodents, right?

Since I started the challenge (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?p=439921#post439921), I'd say I have a vested interest. But "gestapo"? I don't think we want to invoke Godwin (http://ursine.ca/Godwin%27s_Law) yet...;)

MacAllister
01-03-2006, 11:28 PM
That probably should be a whole 'nother thread, and if I wasn't scared that the Mod Squad would send Big Louie after me, I'd start it.

??
Didn't anyone tell this guy I AM the Mod Squad's "Big Louie"?

Dawno--I wondered if anyone would catch that. :D

PeeDee
01-03-2006, 11:29 PM
Notable exceptions to this rule include the Soup Nazi. Of course.

So if woodchucks were astute chuckers of wood, would they perhaps not live in houses?

Jaycinth
01-03-2006, 11:33 PM
Locust wood burns very hot, so maybe the woodchucks would chuck some of that. A big limb fell off the old oak tree, I think that would be worth chucking.

And there is the dead fall, you know the cutting,,prunings from the fruittrees last year, that IS wood so the woodchucks could chuck that, although it is light weight so maybe they'd drag and toss.

A match is made out of paper, and paper is made out of wood, so I would think that after they had chucked all of the wood, they could chuck a lit match into it.

It is a shame you all don't want to talk about pigs cause I have a great recipie for dry rubbed pork. ( It is written on paper. Paper =wood. Chucks chuck wood..wood burns..burning grills. Pig cooks. It all works out back to the woodchuck. Who of course, now, has to go chuck more wood into the fire. Maple would be nice.

( Unless you want to discuss woodchuck "Chuck's" which would be a bit weirdly furry to actually shoot hoops in.)

So is that woodchuck gonna chuck more wood, what variety and how much?

( Maybe we could find a beer chuck to chuck us a keg while we are busy ( Well, I am busy) burning this chucked wood.)

brokenfingers
01-03-2006, 11:37 PM
Hah. Sez you.

Brokenfingers, at least, would rather talk about beavers than woodchucks, anyway!Very true.

I am proud to say that I do not discriminate against certain animals - unlike many here. I am revolted at the behavior and attitudes I've seen displayed here today.

I thought we'd moved beyond such small-mindedness in this day and age but obviously I was wrong.

I will not be posting here again!!!

PeeDee
01-03-2006, 11:37 PM
We're not discriminating. We're focusing. We're focused. We focusedly talking about Woodchucks.

Dawno
01-03-2006, 11:38 PM
You are of course referring to the seminal work The Social Ramifications of Woodchucks Chucking Wood (http://www.people.virginia.edu/%7Ejbk9y/wdcksoc.html) and the astonishing discovery of the woodchuck's lignin avoidance propensities. (how does one nominate someone for a Nobel, anyway?)


The main problem which had to be overcome before conclusions could be made was to determine the meaning of the word chuck. According to Webster's ninth Collegiate dictionary, chuck can mean to toss, however, nowhere were any woodchucks seen tossing wood. Since I didn't like this result I ignored it and found that it is far more likely that the correct meaning of the word chuck in this context is to have done with...

...Woodchucks were seen many times chucking wood, that is ignoring the wood as if they were "done with" it. For simplicity the term "lignin avoidance" will be used in this paper to denote the chucking behavior.


They could live in these houses (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Xanadu_House), they're made of polyurethane.

rhymegirl
01-03-2006, 11:39 PM
MacAllister may continue to discuss Whistling Pigs at length and breadth and in great detail, however, no one may reply to anything he says on any matter other than the Woodchuck and its abilities when it comes to chucking wood.

So says Pete, bossy-head. :D

Um, MacAllister is a SHE.

PeeDee
01-03-2006, 11:40 PM
Interesting, but I wonder if polyurathane would do damage to a woodchuck's teeth, should he feel The Call of the Wild and attempt to chuck his home?

PeeDee
01-03-2006, 11:40 PM
Um, MacAllister is a SHE.

I....was using creative liscence...........*abashed, apologetic*

MacAllister
01-03-2006, 11:41 PM
http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/images/smilies/EmoteROFL.gifNo worries--I disregarded the clarification as...err... unrelated to the focus of the topic of discussion.

:D

PeeDee
01-03-2006, 11:42 PM
So far, we have four pages focused on Woodchucks. This speaks to the power of a) too many writers online all at once and b) the topic of woodchucks as well as c) FOCUS!

Bravo!

We may now share our feelings on Woodchucks in our Lives.

alleycat
01-03-2006, 11:46 PM
Is wood chuck related to ground chuck? Just asking...

Pat~
01-03-2006, 11:47 PM
(Sigh. I did hope to learn how to whistle...)

Oops. Back to topic.

On a related note:

How much wood could Chuck Woods' woodchuck chuck, if Chuck Woods' woodchuck could and would chuck wood? If Chuck Woods' woodchuck could and would chuck wood, how much wood could and would Chuck Woods' woodchuck chuck?

:e2yawn:

MacAllister
01-03-2006, 11:48 PM
And why is that little tool used to loosen the head on my drill to change drill-bits called a chuck?

Dawno
01-03-2006, 11:51 PM
In my 'challenge (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?p=439921#post439921)' I posited that no-one on this forum (TIO) can stay on topic for more than 4 posts. This thread went off topic with post 5 (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?p=439954#post439954). My challenge still stands, although this thread has done an amazing job of recovering from the off topics. Kudos to PeeDee.

Woodchuck fact: top speed is probably less than 9 mph.

MacAllister
01-03-2006, 11:54 PM
"probably"?

How on earth would one determine that?

PeeDee
01-03-2006, 11:57 PM
In my 'challenge (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?p=439921#post439921)' I posited that no-one on this forum (TIO) can stay on topic for more than 4 posts. This thread went off topic with post 5 (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?p=439954#post439954). My challenge still stands, although this thread has done an amazing job of recovering from the off topics. Kudos to PeeDee.

Woodchuck fact: top speed is probably less than 9 mph.



And is that their top mobile speed on ground, on foot? On what sort of terrain? what is the age, health, and smoking habits of this Woodchuck we are learning facts about? Or is this the estimated speed with which a Woodchuck can chuck wood?

alleycat
01-03-2006, 11:58 PM
How come the muskrat is being left out? After all, the muskrats had a beautiful and tender love song written about them: the always-popular Muskrat Love. Ever heard of Woodchuck Love? No!

PeeDee
01-03-2006, 11:59 PM
I've heard of Woodchuck Love. I have cable.

Dawno
01-04-2006, 12:00 AM
"probably"?

How on earth would one determine that?

I know. How does such scurrilous information get on the internet? I mean, if it's on the internet it must be true (http://www.wired.com/news/culture/0,1284,53048,00.html), right?

alleycat
01-04-2006, 12:04 AM
I guess no one wants to hear my story about killing a woodchuck in a corn field...using a big stick....

Dawno
01-04-2006, 12:04 AM
How come the muskrat is being left out? After all, the muskrats had a beautiful and tender love song written about them: the always-popular Muskrat Love. Ever heard of Woodchuck Love? No!

From Wikipedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Muskrat):



The Muskrat or Musquash (Ondatra zibethicus), the only species (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Species) in genus (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Genus) Ondatra, is a large aquatic rodent (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rodent) native to North America (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/North_America), and introduced in parts of Europe (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Europe). Adult body length is usually between 25-40 cm (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Metre#SI_multiples) long, with a strong, laterally compressed tail (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tail) 20-25 cm long. The body is covered in thick, brown waterproof fur (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fur); the underparts are paler. They have partially webbed hind feet (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Feet) and small able hand-like front feet. The weight is up to 1700 g (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gram), about four times the weight of a Brown Rat (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brown_Rat).

Swamp Bunny is a nickname for a Muskrat. It is commonly used in the Mid-Atlantic States (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mid-Atlantic_States), especially in the marsh-lands and rivers surrounding the Chesapeake Bay (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chesapeake_Bay).



The muskrat is related (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cricetidae)to true hamsters (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hamster), voles (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vole), lemmings (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lemming), and New World rats and mice (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_World_rats_and_mice).



btw, it's a good thing I have the day off so I can continue to provide valuable information to this thread. Tomorrow you'll have to surf Wikipedia on your own.

Pat~
01-04-2006, 12:06 AM
How come the muskrat is being left out? After all, the muskrats had a beautiful and tender love song written about them: the always-popular Muskrat Love. Ever heard of Woodchuck Love? No!

I want you to know that they are presently accepting muskrats with open arms on the Non-Denominational Animals thread...

Pat~
01-04-2006, 12:10 AM
At the risk of being OT (again), I was wondering if we could also consider the following?

How much ground would a groundhog hog, if a groundhog could hog ground? Would a groundhog hog all the ground he could hog, if a groundhog could hog ground?

reph
01-04-2006, 12:14 AM
The person watching the woodchucks dressed as a large woodchuck and wore woodchuck scent in order to not disturb the woodchucks. The original scent used was that of a woodchuck in heat, this did not have the desired effect and its use was discontinued.
One question and one comment, if you please.

Q: How did the researchers determine what a large woodchuck typically wears?

C: If the scent of a woodchuck in heat did not have the desired effect, I'd call that a blessing.

PeeDee
01-04-2006, 12:27 AM
What IS the "desired" effect of wearing the scent of a Woodchuck in heat, exactly?

tiny
01-04-2006, 12:31 AM
My god, it's a zoo in here. BF's having beaver issues. Pat's got a hog hogging everything. Woodchucks are wearing costumes. People stink of phermones. Pete's desperately trying to focus the camera before anyone else brings out an animal of sorts. It's a mad house.

Carry on.

PeeDee
01-04-2006, 12:32 AM
....which was a lovely, if a bit too honest, recap....but no! Off topic! No soup for you!

tiny
01-04-2006, 12:39 AM
I know a guy named Chuck who claims to be some sort of beaver whisperer. Does that count?



Can I have soup now?

Dawno
01-04-2006, 12:47 AM
Beaver whisperer. oh my.

:ROFL:

JAlpha
01-04-2006, 12:51 AM
The topic is:

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood?



If woodchucks chucked as much wood as they chuck dirt while building their burrows, it would be 35 cubic meters, or about 700 pounds.

tiny
01-04-2006, 01:06 AM
Beaver whisperer. oh my.

:ROFL:


Yeah, he goes down south somewhere to practice.

tiny
01-04-2006, 01:07 AM
Yeah, he goes down south somewhere to practice.




Did I say that? My god. He's not practicing. He's liscensed now. I forgot.

PeeDee
01-04-2006, 01:08 AM
http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/images/smilies/emoteranting.gifTOPIC!

*sulks*

tiny
01-04-2006, 01:13 AM
So a woodchuck walks into a bar...

PeeDee
01-04-2006, 01:17 AM
The second one ducks.

tiny
01-04-2006, 01:19 AM
The second one ducks.

I believe we were speaking of woodchucks, not ducks.

PeeDee
01-04-2006, 01:25 AM
.... .... ....Zing.

Mad points to tiny terror, for watching me walk right into that one, and then nailing me to the wall with it. I tip my hat to you.....


.....as I continue to speak, and focus my life on, woodchucks.

tiny
01-04-2006, 01:32 AM
Did you know that Woodchucks have absolutely nothing to do with the weather yet they have badgered the good people of Pennsylvania to believe the do?

Goes to show you, you can't trust a badger. Wait. A woodchuck. No, a groundhog. Is that some sort of pig? What were we talking about now?

PeeDee
01-04-2006, 01:41 AM
The thing that I find most interesting in this long-ranging and well thought out debate on various animalistic species and their entire relation to the species which we are primarily focused on, namely the woodchuck, is that in all of our discussion we have forgotten the one key detail which will clear away all debate once and for all on the matter, namely how much wood the woodchuck could chuck, should the woodchuck chuck wood, and that key point ooh shiny pennies are pretty is that we should wanna ride bike with a number of hair pins in the bright buttons on my keyboard.

Thank you. I think that just about solves it.

JAlpha
01-04-2006, 01:41 AM
Here's a little OT game. Have at it and post your score http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/images/smilies/emoteClap.gif http://www.nearlygood.com/game/whackagroundhog.html

I got 7 out of 25 in my first round--I think I need a new mouse :ROFL:

Dawno
01-04-2006, 01:42 AM
Not just the people of Pennsylvania - there's

Wiarton Willy (Canada) (http://www.southbrucepeninsula.com/index.cfm?member=willie)
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v304/Ebil_Librarian/groundhogs/WiartonWillieAV.gif

and Buckeye Chuck (Ohio) (http://www.dnr.state.oh.us/features/feb01.htm)
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v304/Ebil_Librarian/groundhogs/BuckeyeChuck.jpg

and dozens of others (http://www.groundhogsday.com/groundhogcentral.php)

although this guy (Mr. Prozac (http://www.windstarfarm.com/Groundhog%20Day.htm)) makes me a bit suspicious...

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v304/Ebil_Librarian/groundhogs/mr.jpg

PeeDee
01-04-2006, 01:44 AM
ANYONE named Mr. Prozac should make you suspicious.

And I don't even want to tak about my game score. (After a while you get mad and just start hammering the crap out of those poor woodchucks....)

robeiae
01-04-2006, 01:48 AM
Here's a little OT game. Have at it and post your score
19

tiny
01-04-2006, 01:49 AM
and dozens of others (http://www.groundhogsday.com/groundhogcentral.php)


:ROFL:

Chuck Wood in Sherman Oaks has the tiniest head. It's like the tip of a horrible furry iceburg.

PeeDee
01-04-2006, 01:51 AM
Never say that to me again.

:cry:

JAlpha
01-04-2006, 01:51 AM
19

Wow, I'm impressed. If your writing gig doesn't work out, you have a real future in rodent control :ROFL:

PeeDee
01-04-2006, 01:55 AM
It didn't control, sicne they kept on coming. You have a career waiting for you in rodent concussion.

(Are woodchucks rodents? Methinks not.)

Dawno
01-04-2006, 01:55 AM
and what about this guy Ridge Lea Larry (http://www.buffalo.edu/reporter/vol28/vol28n19/photo1.html)from Buffalo, NY? With that little Shriner's cap - he either needs a mini-bike or a set of cymbals.

Dawno
01-04-2006, 01:57 AM
It didn't control, sicne they kept on coming. You have a career waiting for you in rodent concussion.

(Are woodchucks rodents? Methinks not.)

Yes, they are (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Woodchuck):


The Groundhog (Marmota monax), also called a Woodchuck or Whistlepig, is a rodent (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rodent) of the family Sciuridae (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sciuridae), belonging to the group of large ground squirrels known as marmots (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marmot).

tiny
01-04-2006, 01:57 AM
and what about this guy Ridge Lea Larry (http://www.buffalo.edu/reporter/vol28/vol28n19/photo1.html)from Buffalo, NY? With that little Shriner's cap - he either needs a mini-bike or a set of cymbals.



:ROFL:

JAlpha
01-04-2006, 02:01 AM
Yes, they are (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Woodchuck):

Thank you Dawno, methinks PeeDee needs to jump into one of those holes in the Groundhog Game so I can pop him on the head
with my mallet :ROFL:

PeeDee
01-04-2006, 02:03 AM
METHINKS that JAlpha needs to buh-ring it.

(omigodpleasedonthitmeontheheadwithamallet)

(I would like to add my paranoid nervousness over the fact that a great many threads seem to devolve into "terrible things we can gang up on PeeDee and enjoy doing to him.")

tiny
01-04-2006, 02:06 AM
fight FIGHT!

ahem


people, focus here.

PeeDee
01-04-2006, 02:07 AM
Chicken Soup for the Woodchuck's Soul. What entries would we have, people?

JAlpha
01-04-2006, 02:12 AM
METHINKS that JAlpha needs to buh-ring it.

(omigodpleasedonthitmeontheheadwithamallet)

(I would like to add my paranoid nervousness over the fact that a great many threads seem to devolve into "terrible things we can gang up on PeeDee and enjoy doing to him.")

:Hug2: (I would like to add that I would have used a foam mallet :)

PeeDee
01-04-2006, 02:13 AM
Depending on how that turns out, I may have to charge $5.00.

Dawno
01-04-2006, 02:24 AM
Chicken Soup for the Woodchuck's Soul. What entries would we have, people?

I think before we leap into this we should be sure we understand the guidelines (http://www.chickensoup.com/StorySubmission/StoryGuidelines.htm)...after all, with all this talk about thwopping woodchucks with mallets we wouldn't want to see the wrong sort of thing show up in the CSftWS book.

PeeDee
01-04-2006, 02:28 AM
but......but.....those are boring......

Dawno
01-04-2006, 02:33 AM
Perhaps, then, you should consider something more along these lines (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0671014420/102-4127234-1008927?v=glance&n=283155)

or these (http://rinkworks.com/peasoup/)

or these (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0688169821/102-4127234-1008927?v=glance&n=283155)

maybe these (http://www.playscripts.com/play.php3?playid=428)

Puddle Jumper
01-04-2006, 04:53 AM
I like tacos.

tiny
01-04-2006, 04:54 AM
I like tacos.


Now what does that have to do with woodchucks? Hmmm. Let's hear it. :D

WerenCole
01-04-2006, 05:15 AM
[QUOTE=PeeDee]In this thread, we are going to discuss a topic. We are going to continually discuss it. we are not, as we have a tendency to do, going to get distracted, going to provide anecdotes, going to discuss anything but the topic at hand. We are going to prove that we are reasonable, mature, focus-able adults. This will show our spouses once and for all, unless it doesn't.
[QUOTE]


what spouse?


umm. . . what was the topic again?

i messed it up, didn't I?

I suppose I will just keep shuckin along. . .

Unique
01-04-2006, 05:15 AM
Woodchuck Tacos - the newest franchise. Haven't you heard?

September skies
01-04-2006, 06:55 AM
I KNEW IT!!

I have refrained from posting for the past 50 posts because I was busy doing some research (some of us actually work, you know) and thanks to Dawno - who referred us to a website -- I found what I was looking for.

And here it is:

Other meanings



The woodchuck is also the arch-nemesis (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nemesis) of The Internet Oracle (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Internet_Oracle)
Another name for woodpecker (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Woodpecker)
SEE!! The woodpecker and the woodchuck are related!! I knew I was right.

Ok, now...about those woodchuck tacos ...Taco Bell and Carl's Jr said no.

I heard that the Taco Bell chihuaha refuses to do the commercials becasue he's afraid they'll mistake him for a woodchuck. I also heard Carls' Jr. decided against a woodchuck $6 burger because "I love Paris in the Springtime" (Paris eating woodchuck) commercial just sounded a little too pornographic.

September skies
01-04-2006, 06:57 AM
New Light: I finally figured out why those two dancing guys are dancing under PeeDee's signature. They're DUTCH. And of course, being Dutch, they are wearing the famous wooden shoes and of course, no one wants to have their shoes eaten by a woodchuck - thus the reason for them jumping up and down.

(Yes, I'm still talking about woodchucks, so I'm not OT.)

Dawno
01-04-2006, 07:25 AM
It's nice to see the young folk researching. Good work September skies.

However, just because some misguided folk call a woodpecker 'woodchuck', doesn't mean it's right.

PeeDee
01-04-2006, 07:27 AM
September, madam, you are absolutely brilliant. That was the cleverest interpretation of a four-frame Laural-And-Hardy-Skipping animation that I have ever heard.

And you win my coveted, nerdy, weird, Cleverest Interpretation Of A Four-Frame Laural-And-Hardy-Skipping Animation Award. Please cut this post out and take it with you to local neighborhood bar for a free peanut.

PeeDee
01-04-2006, 07:27 AM
It jsut occured to me that the local gas station sells a burger called a "Chuckwagon."

Oh dear. We would appear to have stumbled onto dark secrets involving Woodchucks.

mkcbunny
01-04-2006, 08:52 AM
I can't believe I missed a whole chat about woodchucks, chucking or no. But, no, I am not going to back and read it all. Because isn't that another AW pastime: jumping to the end of the thread so you can comment without reading what everyone else has said?

But forgive me, I digress. I can say with near-certainty that my post will not duplicate anyone's before it. As follows:

When I was in high school, a pair of woodchucks lived out in the wilds of our back yard. My father named them Heathcliff and Catherine, although I don't think he meant to wish them a troubled relationship. When the two were together, we assumed that the smaller one was Catherine and the larger one Heathcliff. But when there was only one in view, we were not sure which it was or how to tell them apart. One day, we realized that there was only a single chuck left. We assumed it was Heathcliff; seemed fitting.

After Heathcliff had been with us for some time, I decided to do some "Animal Kingdom" studying. [Although, I suppose my style was more in the Attenborough school of nature study, as I did not wrestle the wild woodchuck, a la Stan.] To this end, I visited the woodchuck hole every day after school, keeping a respectable distance from his doorstep. Little by little, he became somewhat familiar with me, daring to poke his head out after I'd been sitting outside his hole for an hour. For weeks, he'd duck back inside the second I moved, but eventually [and perhaps unwisely], he stayed out for longer periods. I did not try to "domesticate" him or feed him, but I was interested in watching him, so I just waited. Finally, he would come out to nibble food near his hole. But he'd never leave the edge of it, and little things spooked him, so that's as far as it went. To answer your burning question, no I do not have pictures.

Heathcliff died or disappeared [we never knew] after a couple of years. Then we were without a woodchuck in our lives. It was a dark time on the moor, though we knew the spirits of Heathcliff and Cathy were about. Then, several years after I had gone to college, my parents reported that a new pair of woodchucks had come and made a home under the back corner of the house. I visited that spring to find a whole family of woodchucks cavorting in the backyard. As their burrow was under the house, they remained nearby, so we were able to observe them through our windows very closely. Frolicking baby woodchucks are pretty darned cute. And, no, to answer your newly burning question, I do not have pictures.

As you can imagine, I have great affinity for the little critteres, rodents though they may be. Strange for a person with flea-and-tick phobia.

And how does this relate to the issue at hand, you ask? How does this address the first burning question, "How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?" Based on my personal field study of these creatures, and accepting the hypothetical proposition that they "can," indeed, chuck wood, I would have to say that the answer is "none." It is my amateur opinion that woodchucks, having the option, as indicated in the definition of the word "would," would elect not to chuck wood at all. Too much trouble. After all, there's a house somewhere with a hole underneath and a nice human family to watch when you're bored.

September skies
01-04-2006, 10:01 AM
Just wanted to say "Have a woodchuck - chirpy day"

http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/images/smilies/e2bear.gif <--- closest smilie thing to look like a woodchuck

tiny
01-04-2006, 10:15 AM
Just wanted to say "Have a woodchuck - chirpy day"

http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/images/smilies/e2bear.gif <--- closest smilie thing to look like a woodchuck



Woodchucks, who apparently don't chuck as much wood as I once suspected, have much smaller heads than that. We should scale the body up two or three hundred percent. (have you seen Chuck Wood in California?)

PeeDee
01-04-2006, 10:27 AM
We would also need to remove the spots, shorten the ears, give it fingers instead of paws, and just generally make it not a dog.

PeeDee
01-04-2006, 11:11 AM
I have just been informeD by A source Which shall remain aNOnymous, that the above animation is, in fact, that of a bear and not that of a dog, as I posited in my last message. I am looking into this most strident of allegations and shall report back when I have things to confirm or deny. For now, please know that my source is anonymous and should remain that way, and should definitely not be referred to at any point as a Poo-Head. Thank you.

Dawno
01-04-2006, 11:25 AM
If you check the new smilies list, it's labeled ":e 2bear:"

I am NOT a poo head. :e2cry:

PeeDee
01-04-2006, 11:28 AM
No, you're not a poo-head. But you are, however, breaking myne heart with that quivering-lip smiley. And yeah, I know it's a Bear....but what would it do to my reputation if I was gracefully wrong about something?

Woodchucks need to be focused on! Quickly! Before this falls apart!

mkcbunny
01-04-2006, 11:28 AM
I'll give you one guess as to what my favorite secondary holiday is.

And it's coming soon!!!

MacAllister
01-04-2006, 11:30 AM
Good Lord. PeeDee--you're still here?

Oh man. You got the AWCooler addiction thing, but BAD.

PeeDee
01-04-2006, 11:33 AM
I went off and did other things with my wife for a few hours there, you know.

(Of course, I also checked my "Recent Threads" list every time I wandered by a computer, but never mind...)

Some days, it's just much easier to talk about writing (and woodchucks) than it is to actually write. Hence, my addiction. If it weren't so great, this place would probably be bad for me... :)

Dawno
01-04-2006, 11:35 AM
Hey Mac, he called me a poo head.

mkcbunny
01-04-2006, 11:36 AM
Hey Mac, he called me a poo head.
Off topic! Off topic! Off topic! No one's answered my question.

mkcbunny
01-04-2006, 11:37 AM
Good Lord. PeeDee--you're still here?

Oh man. You got the AWCooler addiction thing, but BAD.
What does it say about us that we are all hangin' around a woodchuck thread at this hour?

PeeDee
01-04-2006, 11:37 AM
Very off-topic. We should move on. Er, quickly.

What IS your secondary favorite holiday, rapidly approaching, dearest mkcbunny?

MacAllister
01-04-2006, 11:41 AM
St. PATRICK'S day!!!
http://bestsmileys.com/stpatricsday/1.gif

Right?

Right???

mkcbunny
01-04-2006, 11:42 AM
St. PATRICK'S day!!!
Right?

Right???
Stick with the program, people!

[Though I do love a good Guinness.]

mkcbunny
01-04-2006, 11:46 AM
When I was a kid, my mom and I used to make colored-paper cards to send out on holidays. We did:

St. Patty's Day [shamrock]
Easter [egg]
Fourth of July [firecracker]
Halloween [ghost]
Thanksgiving [turkey]
Christmas [fat santa]
and ...
my favorite ...
this is at 4 years old, well before I met Heathcliff
Groundhog Day

Jaycinth
01-04-2006, 08:38 PM
So, you folks decided to chuck the woodchucks?

That may not be wise. They have friends on other threads.

blisswriter
01-04-2006, 09:18 PM
okay, i'm late so maybe someone already pointed this out: woodchucks cannot chuck wood. but i'm sure they would if they could. :D

tiny
01-04-2006, 10:10 PM
okay, i'm late so maybe someone already pointed this out: woodchucks cannot chuck wood. but i'm sure they would if they could. :D


But they have those cute little hands. And I have seen them gathered by the roadside, plotting. Anyday now, they will rise up and begin to chuck wood at passing motorists. Then where will we be? Anarchy, people! It will complete ANARCHY!!




(I shouldn't drink before the sun's over the yard arm. Man.)

Jaycinth
01-05-2006, 07:46 PM
But they have those cute little hands.....

The devil finds work for idle hands.

Fractured_Chaos
01-06-2006, 08:18 AM
Only here would you find seven pages of discussion about woodchucks.

:e2headban

JAlpha
01-06-2006, 08:21 AM
Make that eight pages:ROFL:
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JAlpha
01-06-2006, 08:22 AM
Oops! Not quite. One more try.
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JAlpha
01-06-2006, 08:23 AM
OK, now this is getting ridiculous, come on where's that eigth page?


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JAlpha
01-06-2006, 08:24 AM
I give up!

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tiny
01-06-2006, 08:27 AM
Awww, don't feel bad. Woodchucks are so interesting, they are bound to pull down eight pages.

Fractured_Chaos
01-06-2006, 08:28 AM
I'm betting that page 8 will show up fairly soon with the people who hang out here.

This is just one of the reasons I love y'all so much! :ROFL:

tiny
01-06-2006, 08:39 AM
Woodchucks are interesting though. You have to admit, a psychic rodent is cool.

JAlpha
01-06-2006, 08:43 AM
http://www.pixeldreams.com/images/grndhog.gif Click on me and I'll speak to you! (http://www.pixeldreams.com/sounds/woodchuk.aiff)

Not only IS this thread eight pages long, it has audio and visual aids!

watcher
01-06-2006, 11:44 AM
And I'm sure someone upchucked in a wood once too. But it wasn't me! And when they did I'm not sure if the trees heard it.

Carole
01-06-2006, 03:16 PM
Oh, now, THAT'S too adorable!

mkcbunny
01-08-2006, 12:08 AM
All these questions about woodchucks answered, yet not ours. They don't even pose it. Hmmmmm.

Woodchuck Ranch (http://www-ed.fnal.gov/entry_exhibits/woodchuck/woodchuck.html)

OK, has any here ever heard the term "whistle-pig" before? I sure haven't. Although based on that audio file posted above, I can see where they get that nickname.

Best fun fact learned: Wooodchucks can climb trees!!!! Who knew?!

PeeDee
01-08-2006, 12:36 AM
one wonders what they're doing with woodchucks at Fermilab. Fermenting them, perhaps? Can you ferment a woodchuck?

tiny
01-08-2006, 12:39 AM
Only with a big batch of potatoes and some heat. But then you have to run it all through a sieve.

mkcbunny
01-08-2006, 12:45 AM
one wonders what they're doing with woodchucks at Fermilab. Fermenting them, perhaps? Can you ferment a woodchuck?
http://www.fnal.gov

I think the Exhibits (http://www-ed.fnal.gov/entry_exhibits/main_title.html) page is rather amusing. It looks to me like they have a plot of land and these animals roam it [I mean, c'mon, who'd bring in woodchucks?], and they've decided to call it an "Exhibit." Maybe they brought in the bison, but I'll bet nature is just encroaching on their parking lot.

ETA: They did bring in the bison, of course. Haven't read about everything else.

PeeDee
01-08-2006, 12:46 AM
What does it taste like? Does PETA approve? I am pretty certain that the woodchuck doesn't approve, although it might enjoy the potatos.

PeeDee
01-08-2006, 12:47 AM
http://www.fnal.gov

I think the Exhibits (http://www-ed.fnal.gov/entry_exhibits/main_title.html) page is rather amusing. It looks to me like they have a plot of land and these animals roam it [I mean, c'mon, who'd bring in woodchucks?], and they've decided to call it an "Exhibit." Maybe they brought in the bison, but I'll bet nature is just encroaching on their parking lot.

ETA: They did bring in the bison, of course. Haven't read about everything else.

That is a really chaotic picture. If nothing else, the geese look like they're launching into space.

mkcbunny
01-08-2006, 12:50 AM
View from woodchucks' hole

Master Substation (http://www.fnal.gov/pub/about/whatis/picturebook/descriptions/95_1332.html)

It looks llike they are all about physics and power, so I doubt there's any animal testing on the poor critters. I think they have a plot of land with wild animals on it, and they decided to call it an "Exhibit," add in more amusements and call it an educational center. I mean, what do bison have to do with energy? Beavers and dams, I can see. Deer, not so relevant.

mkcbunny
01-08-2006, 12:51 AM
That is a really chaotic picture. If nothing else, the geese look like they're launching into space.
I know. Clearly, whoever designed the Fermilab home page did NOT design the Exhibit pages. LOL.

PeeDee
01-08-2006, 01:04 AM
Terry Gilliam could very well have designed that menu, for Pete's sake!

Dawno
01-29-2006, 08:59 AM
Only 4 more days until Groundhog day. Time to revive this thread and spread the word. :) Either that or I've killed another thread.

SpookyWriter
01-29-2006, 09:17 AM
http://www.feebleminds-gifs.com/bunny-egg.gif

Jaycinth
01-30-2006, 01:16 AM
OMG the thread is still focused!

Dawno
02-02-2006, 06:54 PM
Happy Groundhog Day!


On Prince Edward Island in Canada, Wiarton Willy (http://www.cbc.ca/story/canada/national/2006/02/02/groundhog-060202.html) predicts an early spring.


In Gobbler's Knob Punxsutawney Phil (http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/nation/3630374.html), however, saw his shadow, forcasting 6 more weeks of winter.

D.J.
02-02-2006, 07:07 PM
I love this timely discussion, 'cuz It's my b-day!!!!!!
I've never, ever chucked wood, BTW! However, I find this thread is quite fascinating!

mkcbunny
02-03-2006, 10:02 AM
I like Dawno's hog better than my hog.

Dawno
02-03-2006, 10:03 AM
I think they're both very handsome fellas. Alas, Dave goes back to his den tonite.

edit to add: I'll leave a pix of him here in the thread for posterity.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v304/Ebil_Librarian/groundhogs/DunkirkDave.jpg

mkcbunny
02-03-2006, 10:08 AM
How cute. Yeah, mine'll go when I hit the sack. Which is apt to be very, very soon.

Good night little groundhogs, until another year goes by.

writerterri
02-03-2006, 11:11 AM
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mkcbunny
02-03-2006, 11:51 AM
Oh My.

kdnxdr
02-12-2006, 10:22 AM
I'm new at this but if I'm following the rules correctly, the previous post was a tad OT and should be officially chucked.

Oh yes, once our hamsters ate their babies and I wanted to chuck it big time when I had to clean out the remains from their little cage. The wood inside was gross and those little rodents looked devilish with their little yellow teeth used for chucking on their babies! I got so disgusted, I chucked the whole mess, wood and hamsters! I decided there and then, no more hamster and their nasty smelling wood that made me want to chuck, if I could, I would! I did consider woodpeckers, theyre so clean and tidy, rather handsome birds, but they leave such a mess at the bottom of the tree where all there little pieces of wood get chucked when they're drilling for bugs (no lathes involved). But, that noise they make. Sometimes, they try to drill right into the house, peck, peck, pecking away. You have to chuck something at them and tell them to go find a tree, or something wood. Between the beavers and the woodpeckers and the woodchucks, how do we even have trees? If it wasn't for the balance of nature do you realize we couldn't even have oxygen to breath because all the populations of these critters, woodpeckers, woodchucks and beavers, not to mention the bugs that destroy trees, would get out of control and where would the forest be? We would all asphixiate from lack of oxygen producing trees!!! And, that makes me just want to CHUCK something at someone just thinking about it!! But I wouldn't chuck a wooldchuck if I could chuck a woodchuck because a woodchuck isn't that effective when it comes to chucking and knocking someone out. So, if I could chuck something, I think I would chuck wood, as that would surely knock out someone! As for pigs and bison, I like to eat them along with Angus chuck when grilling! But, I don't do rodents! Unless I eat Chinese and they trick me. Excuse me, I gaged myself and need to chuck and would right now except that would be disgusting and we don't have any smileys to animate properly. Where is a woodchuck chucking up when you need one?:thankyou:

DamaNegra
02-12-2006, 10:28 AM
Haha

Terri, your post amused me.

aspier
02-12-2006, 05:23 PM
Super shoe!




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just wanted...............





























































to see



























































if I

















































could






















































get




















































































on













































































your








































































nerves....







































































by counting.....























































































to































































where was I....






























































http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/8/8_8_36.gif (http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZUxdm080YYUS)















































































Are you still following me?......








































































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http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/11/11_9_14.gif (http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZUxdm080YYUS) If you keep following me I promise this will get good........


























































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Are you still here?......Go down further.......













































If you'll follow me down this far there's no telling what you'll do next.......or see next...................




































currious?...................keep going...................






















































Trick!!!!! Can you see my signature below? That's cuz I'm not done yet................






















































Okay, you win. I'm done.......










































No, for real this time.........................















































Just a little farther and you will see my signature.........























































I can't believe you're still here! You poor thing. Are you bored? Okay keep scrolling down I'll make it worth your while..........





















































Almost there.................












































You need a doctor...............







































Okay, I'm done. I have had it with entertaining you!











































Sick people here..............................














































Go away!