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View Full Version : The Brightest Fell (YA contemp psych thriller) - betas wanted!



LadyA
05-13-2012, 06:26 PM
To sum it up: SHATTERING GLASS meets VERONICA MARS meets DONNIE DARKO. Yep, I'm twisted ;)

So I've sent this around to quite a few agents and I've only had one full request (most asked for sample pages on their submissions guidelines, so no need for partials). I spent ages in QLH making my query letter as kick-ass as possible (the squirrels totally rule, btw), but no bites from the agent fishies. It's dual POV, but the query letter's about the MMC so the boy POV thing might be an issue, too.

It's 57,000 words, and fully polished.

I won't post my agent query because it gives away something important that I don't want readers to know until later in the book.

Here's a basic summary:

The small town of Wakeleigh (UK) has been rocked by the kidnapping of 3 popular, glamorous and wealthy sixteen-yr-olds, on their way to a party in a stolen car. They ruled the school but Noah, the 'leader of the pack' was a bully, and his sidekicks Luke and Rachel weren't much better.

Then Noah's body turns up, and a week later Luke turns up, too - but he's alive, just about. He's in a fragile state of mind, mentally, with PTSD, survivor's guilt, and a psychosymatic (sp) stammer. He's desperate to track down the still-missing Rachel, and recruits ex-friend and dyslexic tough girl India to help.

But time is running out, for Rachel and Luke. As he and India get closer, the bad guys are preparing their final revenge...


I'm not looking for line-by-line critiques, but a more general view:

- Does the beginning makes sense (I got rid of the first, boring 3,000 words) and does it make you want to read on?

- Is the boy POV/voice realistic (and are the others also realistic)?

- Is Luke (MMC) sympathetic?

- Did you guess the murderer early (and if so, when)?

- Is the ending realistic?

I'm willing to beta people's MS's (contemp YA only, please, b/c I'm rubbish at reading anything else), but it will have to be in July, because of exams :(

Thank you!

I survived
05-22-2012, 12:59 AM
I'd be interested in giving it a try and I just started a YA contemporary so July would work well for me.

nicolemarie
06-25-2012, 12:41 AM
I sent you a pm :)