View Full Version : Looking for Beta or Trade: 31,800 word Teen Fantasy

05-09-2012, 10:39 PM
Willing to trade beta reads for up to 32k words. Looking for a tough love reader willing to look at the big picture -- scenes & plot -- and tell me if something doesn't feel right.

Preferred Criticism Style: Tactful harshness. I prefer for my flaws to be pointed out without reservation, but I do appreciate some softening of the blow. (I can handle straight-up harsh. Don't let my preference scare you away. :) )

Story's Polish: I've finished all self-edits of this story. Have had a few friends read through for errors.

Goal: Planning to self-publish. Waiting on art commission for cover.


NICOLE LENNOX is dying by inches. One of the most powerful beings alive, a super, she is forbidden from using her gift over ice lest it overwhelm and kill her. Her condition is called Hero's Disease by the media and is shared by one other -- her mentor and crush, 50-year-old Richard Weisman. Due to Richard's fatherly overprotection, Nicole is kept from interacting with other supers until the day Richard hires her as his assistant at an underwater training facility.

Enamored of her new job but struggling under the tyranny of high school chemistry, Nicole befriends her chemistry teacher's brainy son, EMMETT THIESSEN, for free tutoring. It isn't long before she realizes Emmett is afraid of his father, but it takes stumbling onto a debriefing of Dr. Toxin to discover why -- Emmett's father is a failed mad scientist with a grudge against Richard and jealousy toward his intellectual rivals, which include a clueless Emmett.

After Toxin embarks on a plan to dispose of Richard once and for all, Nicole must risk her life to save the people she loves and put Dr. Toxin on ice.

05-10-2012, 08:38 PM
Have established a trade with geagar.

Yay, happy. ^_^