PDA

View Full Version : Oh dear. How to tell them I'm not Suzanne Collins?



Perks
04-27-2012, 10:15 PM
So we've got a little case of long-distance crossed-wires.

My mother is very, very (you know, 'very' on a motherly scale) pleased about my book deal. It's a lot of fun to have her support and she is a super-talented poet and artist, so my interest in even trying to write ties back directly to her influence.

And my mother is very, Very (you know, 'very' on a grandmotherly scale) pleased about my daughter getting to appear as an extra in 'The Hunger Games' film.

And my mom's a talker. So this means she's been telling all her friends and most everyone everywhere about both of these things.

Unfortunately, the buzz has grown fuzz and blurred into one story that's ricocheting around two churches and the small Texas community that holds them - that I wrote The Hunger Games.

Lol! Now my mother has to undo that little fantasy and I've gone from being a superstar to shriveling down to a bit of a disappointment. Poor mom.

fireluxlou
04-27-2012, 10:18 PM
Aww lol. I am always telling my mother to not tell people about my life because people gossip, and then random strangers talk to me like 'hi i know your mother, she said you were... are dating...' and i'm like 'sorry who are you?'. it feels odd talking to strangers about myself. i know parents like to boast but I can sympathise in a sense.

Just explain to them how the wires got crossed, I'm sure they'd laugh it off.

Sage
04-27-2012, 10:21 PM
LOL, that's hilarious, perks.

I mean, embarrassing in the long run, but hilarious too. Enjoy the story you'll have to tell about it.

TheaBlowsKisses
04-27-2012, 11:50 PM
I don't know, but you win at thread titles.

James D. Macdonald
04-27-2012, 11:53 PM
Say, "No, no, I'm not Suzanne Collins. Suzanne Collins is shorter than me and has long hair."

Phaeal
04-28-2012, 12:32 AM
Or say in a fine British accent, "Dear me, no. I'm not Suzanne Collins, I'm Susanna Clarke."

You know, just to muddy the waters a little more. ;)

buz
04-28-2012, 03:01 AM
Or say in a fine British accent, "Dear me, no. I'm not Suzanne Collins, I'm Susanna Clarke."

You know, just to muddy the waters a little more.

Or, we could use the Spartacus maneuver and all start calling ourselves Suzanne Collins.

ohthatmomagain
04-28-2012, 03:03 AM
Or, we could use the Spartacus maneuver and all start calling ourselves Suzanne Collins.

Best answer ever :)

Perks
04-28-2012, 03:08 AM
That would be a beautiful show of solidarity.

Namatu
04-28-2012, 03:36 AM
I'm Suzanne Collins, Perks.

SomethingOrOther
04-28-2012, 03:41 AM
I might be a guy but I'm Suzanne Collins. *dramatic serious face of solidarity*

PPartisan
04-28-2012, 03:54 AM
<----:Soapbox:*

*Sure hope I don't get in trouble for this :)

Perks
04-28-2012, 04:00 AM
Lol! You guys are awesome and I heart you all.

buz
04-28-2012, 04:04 AM
http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z194/boffberried2/scollins.jpg

Susan Littlefield
04-28-2012, 06:11 AM
I think it's precious. :D Parents love to brag about their kid's (kids') accomplishments, but I bet they never count on your true accomplishments growing such "fuzz," as you call it. I'm sure it will calm down in due time.

Susan Littlefield
04-28-2012, 06:13 AM
By the way, ya all know I'm. Really. Suzanne. Collins.

lolchemist
04-28-2012, 08:56 AM
HAHAHAHAAHAHAAA Omg! Poor you and your mom, but that's so cuuute! You know what will be awesome though is if your books become like the next big thing and become blockbuster movies and your mom starts bragging again, everyone will be like 'Oh, Suzanne wrote another book!' LOL

benbradley
04-28-2012, 09:54 AM
I saw a Twitter announcement from the local newspaper (yeah, we're all up on social media out here in the countryside!), about needing locals for extras in "Trouble With The Curve" - I could have applied and played a baseball fan, maybe even met one of the big stars.

But you've convinced me it's probably just as well I didn't...

http://www.knowpickens.com/photos/troublewithcurve.asp

Old Hack
04-28-2012, 11:34 AM
No, I'm Suzanne Collins (http://legendsrumors.blogspot.it/2008/08/kirk-douglass-son.html).

John Shepard
04-28-2012, 12:12 PM
Wait, I'm new here and I've already seen Suzanne Collins in the forum? You're all Suzanne Collins? I have to go tell everyone I know. Now how do I make the rolling on the floor laughing emote? 'Cause you guys are cracking me up.

Christine N.
04-28-2012, 02:24 PM
I AM... Suzanne Collins

;)

Theo81
04-28-2012, 04:42 PM
I'm Suzanne Collins and so is my wife*.







*Thanks to Monty Python for that one.

Raventongue
04-29-2012, 05:04 AM
Luke... I am your father Suzanne Collins.

Jersey Chick
04-29-2012, 05:26 AM
Liars! I am Suzanne Collins.



no, really. i am. why? what did I say? you know, I could be suzanne collins, if i tried really hard.

thothguard51
04-29-2012, 05:34 AM
Tell anyone who ask that you give better lap dances than Ms Collins.

blacbird
04-29-2012, 06:05 AM
Tell 'em you're actually Erica Jong.

caw

seun
04-29-2012, 03:13 PM
Luke... I am your father Suzanne Collins.

Are you talking to me?

By the way, I'm not Suzanne Collins. But I am Dan Brown.

Moon Daughter
04-29-2012, 08:42 PM
No, soy Suzanne Collins! (...since no one else said it in another language)

Congrats on your book deal, Perks. My mom gets a little hare-brained at times, too. But at least, for your benefit, it makes for a cute, funny story!

kuwisdelu
04-29-2012, 08:50 PM
These are not the Suzanne Collins you're looking for.

kuwisdelu
04-29-2012, 08:51 PM
Tell 'em you're actually Erica Jong.

caw

No, tell them you're actually Takami Koushun.

Perks
04-29-2012, 08:55 PM
Congrats on your book deal, Perks. My mom gets a little hare-brained at times, too. But at least, for your benefit, it makes for a cute, funny story!Ha! It's wasn't my mom getting it mixed up, just the inevitable jumble when you play a game of small-town telephone.

Violeta
04-29-2012, 09:15 PM
I think this is the funniest thread I've read so far!

But I feel for you, Perks, I wouldn't know what to do, either, if
I were put in such embarrasing (yet fun to read about) position.

Btw, congratulations for both accomplishments!

Uncarved
04-29-2012, 09:43 PM
These are not the Suzanne Collins you're looking for.


Winner.

benbradley
04-29-2012, 09:59 PM
I am Rick Astley. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ)

Cyia
04-29-2012, 11:59 PM
No, tell them you're actually Takami Koushun.


Coming from small town Texas, myself, this is more likely to get you a confused look, followed by "You're whose cousin?"

Perks
04-30-2012, 12:53 AM
Tell 'em you're actually Erica Jong.

cawThey're Baptists, for heaven's sake. Are you trying to get my mother permanently disinvited from the potluck fellowship dinners?

Filigree
04-30-2012, 01:15 AM
You could always take out an ad in the local newspaper. Or have somebody make an announcement at Sunday School - that always gets around.

Atlantis
04-30-2012, 02:32 AM
Your mum sounds like my mum. This sounds like just the sort of pickle she would get herself in. LOL.

AlwaysJuly
05-01-2012, 12:36 AM
That's pretty awesome. Got to love small towns (and mothers!).