RIP Facts (360 B.C.-A.D. 2012)

sulong · Apr 21, 2012

Just thought I'd share a, what i think, is a clever little piece.

A quick review of the long and illustrious career of Facts reveals some of the world's most cherished absolutes: Gravity makes things fall down; 2 + 2 = 4; the sky is blue.

But for many, Facts' most memorable moments came in simple day-to-day realities, from a child's certainty of its mother's love to the comforting knowledge that a favorite television show would start promptly at 8 p.m.

Over the centuries, Facts became such a prevalent part of most people's lives that Irish philosopher Edmund Burke once said: "Facts are to the mind what food is to the body."

To the shock of most sentient beings, Facts died Wednesday, April 18, after a long battle for relevancy with the 24-hour news cycle, blogs and the Internet. Though few expected Facts to pull out of its years-long downward spiral, the official cause of death was from injuries suffered last week when Florida Republican Rep. Allen West steadfastly declared that as many as 81 of his fellow members of theU.S. House of Representatives are communists.

The whole article is a nice little read, if you have a moment.

RichardGarfinkle · Apr 21, 2012

Take heart. Facts always come back. Usually to bite the backsides of people who ignore them.

Magdalen · Apr 21, 2012

Thanks, sulong! While I am not absolutely positive that I agee with the premise, I did enjoy reading the article and That's a Fact, Jack!!

Priene · Apr 21, 2012

It's a matter of personal regret that in my 30+ years of socialism nobody, not one single person, has ever accused me of being a commie.

kuwisdelu · Apr 21, 2012

But the sky isn't always blue, gravity making things fall "down" depends on your frame of reference (and gravity is often used to define "down," furthermore making the point moot given multiple sources of sufficient mass), and sometimes 1 + 1 = 10. I call BS. None of those "facts" were absolutes to begin with.

Don · Apr 21, 2012

kuwisdelu said:
But the sky isn't always blue, gravity making things fall "down" depends on your frame of reference (and gravity is often used to define "down," furthermore making the point moot given multiple sources of sufficient mass), and sometimes 1 + 1 = 10. I call BS. None of those "facts" were absolutes to begin with.

Outside the lab, facts only need to match reality to two decimal points. For sky is blue, down and math in the generally-accepted base, the definitions people rely on are "close enough for government work." Additional complexity gets lost in the general noise of living. If we need to go outside those standard definitions, we can explain the details, but if we do that with everything, we'll get bogged down. "Absolute," in practicality, is relative.

Maxinquaye · Apr 21, 2012

Fact is a secondary quality anyway. "Cold" and "hot" are just reference points, and aren't actually anything, just points of reference about temperature.

kuwisdelu · Apr 21, 2012

Don said:
Outside the lab, facts only need to match reality to two decimal points. For sky is blue, down and math in the generally-accepted base, the definitions people rely on are "close enough for government work." Additional complexity gets lost in the general noise of living. If we need to go outside those standard definitions, we can explain the details, but if we do that with everything, we'll get bogged down. "Absolute," in practicality, is relative.

Tell us how you really feel.

Nimram · Apr 21, 2012

There is a long line of people in history who worked with facts and absolute truths. They sometimes leave a long trail of bodies behind them.

Romantic Heretic · Apr 21, 2012

2+2 may equal 4 but so does 3+1, 7-3 and 112-108. Facts are less important than we believe.

Furthermore I don't think a paranoid war criminal can do that much damage to reality.

CharacterInWhite · Apr 21, 2012

Priene said:
It's a matter of personal regret that in my 30+ years of socialism nobody, not one single person, has ever accused me of being a commie.

COMMUNIST!

An old man on the bus called me a "pot smoking limp dicked liberal" when I had the gall to suggest our left-wing party's Fair Tax policy (a small increase in taxes for wealthy individuals and large corporations to go towards eliminating post secondary tuition costs) was... well, fair, and would actually result in a long-term return anyway.

It was most amusing that he supported the right-wing while he was on the bus, even though they're responsible for our city's abysmal public transit in the first place.

Rob Lefebvre · Apr 21, 2012

Facts are important. 2+2 always has always will and always does equal four. As far as hot and cold go, those are not facts, they are points of reference. 72 degrees is a fact though.

People may not feel that facts are important or relevant anymore because our media driven society does not deem it so, but to the relatively few individuals who work in the feilds of math and science and engeneering, and countless other areas, facts are important and relevant. They always have been and always will be. Also the dies facts die is the day religion makes sense, so no worries, facts are still very much alive.

Prozyan · Apr 21, 2012

Romantic Heretic said:
2+2 may equal 4 but so does 3+1, 7-4 and 112-108.

. . .

Bookewyrme · Apr 21, 2012

Fun and amusing little article!

However, I take exception to the premise that Facts only came about with Aristotle, especially given his definition of a fact! I mean, really, how exactly does he think things like the pyramids got built without a few incontrovertible facts about geometry? Magic space-aliens? :tongue

thothguard51 · Apr 21, 2012

You can tell a child not to touch a hot stove because it will burn him. The child trust you at first, but eventually, the child will touch the stove and discover its only hot when on...

clintl · Apr 21, 2012

Rob Lefebvre said:
Facts are important. 2+2 always has always will and always does equal four.

Unless you're dealing with relativistic or quantum mechanical effects. Then it might not.

Zoombie · Apr 21, 2012

Romantic Heretic said:
2+2 may equal 4 but so does 3+1, 7-4 and 112-108. Facts are less important than we believe.

Yeah, but they're a great place to start. Like shoes!

Still, the best person (in my totally biased mind) is the person who uses facts as a gun, but aims them with faith. Faith in humanity. Faith in the future. Faith in themselves.

And what do they aim at?

Hunger. Deprivation. War. AIDS. Throw a dart at news clippings and pick a modern catastrophe that must be purged from this world with dedication, hard work and...well, just a few facts

benbradley · Apr 21, 2012

With sufficient brainwashing, two plus two equals five.

Xelebes · Apr 21, 2012

Zoombie said:
Yeah, but they're a great place to start. Like shoes!

How is a shoe a good place to start? I mean sure, the old lady did manage to live with all her children in a shoe but it's not a fantastic way to live and starvation is always a problem.

kuwisdelu · Apr 21, 2012

Rob Lefebvre said:
Facts are important. 2+2 always has always will and always does equal four.

clintl said:
Unless you're dealing with relativistic or quantum mechanical effects. Then it might not.

Or if you're using a different base.

Or if you're doing floating point arithmetic and the two 2's are results that should mathematically be 2 but might not be.

Or, in your case, if you're comparing the result of evaluating the expression (2+2) to the string "four," then for most languages, 2+2 != "four".

Or if you're doing taxes.

Or ... etc.

People really need to let go of this 2+2=4 as an absolute thing.

Zoombie · Apr 21, 2012

Xelebes said:
How is a shoe a good place to start? I mean sure, the old lady did manage to live with all her children in a shoe but it's not a fantastic way to live and starvation is always a problem.

Well, a lot of things are easier to do with shoes.

Taking out the trash.

Walking to the grocery store.

Driving a car.

Going to Mordor.

Fighting in the army.

kuwisdelu · Apr 21, 2012

Zoombie said:
Well, a lot of things are easier to do with shoes.

I disagree.

Taking out the trash.

Sandals are yet easier.

Walking to the grocery store.

Possibly. See above. Depends how far the grocery store is.

Driving a car.

I like driving barefoot. More control.

Going to Mordor.

I don't recall hobbits wearing shoes.*

Fighting in the army.

Ibid.

*Although I am not a hobbit, I am a Zuni, another proud race of vertically-challenged people who have a long history of walking long distances barefoot over hostile terrain. In fact, it's part of several of our religious ceremonies (though not necessarily to Mordor).

Zoombie · Apr 21, 2012

Bah!

Still, I think this doesn't refute the idea that facts are important. But, just like most important things, they're also complicated.

Magdalen · Apr 21, 2012

Zoombie said:
Well, a lot of things are easier to do with shoes.

Taking out the trash.

Walking to the grocery store.

Driving a car.

Going to Mordor.

Fighting in the army.

Having sex being not one of them, btw, fyi, imho .. .

Zoombie · Apr 21, 2012

Depends on the shoes!

RIP Facts (360 B.C.-A.D. 2012)

It's a matter of what is.

Nurture Phoenixes

Petulantly Penitent

Out to lunch

Revolutionize the World

All Living is Local

That cheeky buggerer

Revolutionize the World

sometimes woefully inaccurate

uncoerced

Kind of a big deal

Ass kicker

Are you one, Herbert?

Imagined half of it.

A Gentleman of a refined age...

Represent.

Dragon of the Multiverse

It's a doggy dog world

Delerium ex Ennui

Revolutionize the World

Dragon of the Multiverse

Revolutionize the World

Dragon of the Multiverse

Petulantly Penitent

Dragon of the Multiverse