Anyone else being pressured to self-publish?

kaitie · Apr 20, 2012

Okay, pressured might not be the right word. But it seems like any time I sit down and talk to friends or family about my writing, in particular the book with the agent, the person always asks me about self-publishing.

It's usually in the form of, "You know, a lot of people are making it really big with e-books right now," or "I've been hearing in the news about how nowadays the way to make money is to go through Amazon," or other variations of the same tune. Often, this isn't a one-time conversation, either. I'll talk to someone, they'll ask, I'll explain why I'm wary of self-publishing, and then they'll ask a few weeks later how the book's doing and I'll end up having the same conversation.

It shouldn't bother me, but it bugs me that people keep encouraging me to go down this path. I think what makes it difficult is that people always assume that this is the best path based on that news article they read or they heard from their friend who knows someone in publishing and so on. I've been actively learning about self-publishing for a year now, researching it and what it takes and who is successful and how and so on. And yet when I bring up concerns or point out that I'm not sure about it, people still say it as if it's an easy thing and I should just do it.

I have a couple of friends in particular (non-writers--it's different when a writer asks because they usually understand and genuinely are curious as to which path you're taking) who bring this up, and for some reason it always makes me feel like crap. Maybe it's because it makes me feel a little like they don't think I can succeed the old-fashioned way, or (more likely) because I think I'd fail horribly and self-publishing and then what would they think? I feel like they think I'm just dismissing their (in their eyes) great suggestions if I say I'm not interested, but I don't want to do it, either.

This is just something I've noticed a lot over the past few months, and I'm wondering if other people get similar comments from the lay-people in their lives. If so, how do you approach it? Is there a good way to handle it without being rude?

SomethingOrOther · Apr 20, 2012

Over the years, I've taken a few different hobbies seriously, and they've at times become the subject of conversation. People invariably give suggestions that make sense from a layperson's perspective but are in reality, uh, a bit stupid.

That's pretty standard. It just means you have people who want you to succeed.

How to handle it without being rude? Nod, say, "Thanks I'll think about it," or something similar, and veer the conversation into another subject. Arguing is not worth it.

James D. Macdonald · Apr 20, 2012

kaitie said:
It's usually in the form of, "You know, a lot of people are making it really big with e-books right now," or "I've been hearing in the news about how nowadays the way to make money is to go through Amazon," or other variations of the same tune. Often, this isn't a one-time conversation, either. I'll talk to someone, they'll ask, I'll explain why I'm wary of self-publishing, and then they'll ask a few weeks later how the book's doing and I'll end up having the same conversation.

It's the most recent iteration of "Make Millions on E-bay With the Junk in Your Basement!" that we had a few years back.

Ask 'em what the last book they read was.

Wasn't self-published, was it?

kaitie · Apr 20, 2012

Lol, good point, Jim.

Somethingorother, you're probably right. I guess I just don't want to make people think I'll try something like that right now (it's not on my agenda, though at some point I might change my mind), and I get tired of having the same conversation. I don't argue about it right now, but I have been discussing it. Just saying something like "It's something worth looking into" would probably satisfy most people and avoid the conversation at least.

dangerousbill · Apr 20, 2012

kaitie said:
It shouldn't bother me, but it bugs me that people keep encouraging me to go down this path.

People keep sending me letters encouraging me to take out more credit cards, too, but I just shred them on go on with my life.

The correct answer is "I'm looking into it, but I heard that the whole self-publishing thing is a Republican/Democratic/liberal/conservative/socialist plot."

kaitie · Apr 20, 2012

Haha, I love it!

Mustafa · Apr 20, 2012

Katie, yes that happens to me all the freaking time. I have to say that the most frustrating part of being a writer is that no one who is not a writer has any idea about the industry (and only a few people who are writers understand it). They all say, "I know a guy who wrote a book and he had it on the market in a couple months. Why did it take you two years to put your book out."

I used to try to explain publishing schedules, and how reviews work, and book buying.....now, I just change the topic.

The biggest mistake I ever made with publishing was talking to friends and family about it. Never again, I tell you. Never again.

Kewii · Apr 20, 2012

I get it a lot as well.

My students know I write. I share a bit of my work (to try to encourage them to write). I'm always asked "are you going to publish it when you're done?"

I always tell them, it's really hard to get published.
They then respond with things like "but my aunt paid and get hers published" and "But Ms. Smith said her books are going to be published."
They don't understand the difference between commercial and self publishing. One student actually offered to get his father to get me published because he will pay to get it done. (his father is a fairly important man where I live)

My Fiance has done the same. "I looked into publishing for you. Did you know you could publish as an e-book and get 75% royalties?"

I think I'm going to try Jim's line. It might get through easier than trying to explain how hard it is to market and develop self-published books.

JSSchley · Apr 20, 2012

Yep. I would chalk this one up mostly to people not understanding the industry and not think too much of it, annoying as it is. (I like Jim's e-bay analogy.)

I also get it at times from writer friends who've decided to self-pub who are going, "Why on earth are you still wasting time looking for an agent? The industry is changing! Come on, silly!" Of course, they tend to utterly ignore that we write in different genres and have completely different goals for our writing careers.

I've learned to lean on my writing friends who are also going the commercial route. Though I have to admit, that I've started countering the, "Haven't you heard of Amanda Hocking?"-esque question by asking the asker to name other writers whose work they're familiar with (I tend to get the likes of Stephen King, John Grisham, etc.) and pointing out that Hocking is usually the only self-published author (now hybrid author) that they're very familiar with at all.

As I think Old Hack is fond of pointing out, self-published gigantic success stories are big news because they're rare. I try to point that out.

Filigree · Apr 20, 2012

My local newspaper runs stories about sixth-graders and senior citizens getting published. Usually, it's with Amazon or a vanity press. The public thinks that all publishing is equal, and don't want to know the harsher reality. So when someone I know has read these stories, and pushes me about self-publishing, I put them off with a vague, polite comment. I've given up trying to educate them.

Susan Coffin · Apr 20, 2012

When people bring up self-publishing, I give them the same answer as when they say you must have your work professionally edited prior to submission for publication.

It's not something I will be doing.

quicklime · Apr 20, 2012

when I got my degree, for doing cancer research on proteins in little test tubes in quiet labs, my mother told someone, with great earnestness, "he could have gotten a job just like those CSI guys..."

the bottom line is well-meaning people will talk out their asses like English is their second language, and they are lapsing back to their first.....since they clearly don't know what they are talking about, why let them direct your efforts?

As for a polite way, I just ignore them....

DancingMaenid · Apr 20, 2012

I haven't experienced this personally. I've more experienced the opposite -- having people try to discourage me when I mention having some interest in self-publishing. It gets annoying to have people assume I'm not smart enough to learn about the pros and cons and make my own choices.

But I can definitely imagine how a lot of people not familiar with the publishing industry could get the idea that self-publishing is a simple and obvious choice. I don't blame you for being annoyed.

Miss Plum · Apr 21, 2012

I just had my first one of those. What drives me nuts is the word "just." "Why don't you just publish on Amazon?" You know, skip the muss and fuss! Editing and dealing with traditional publishers is so time-consuming and tricky. Just post it on Amazon and let the money roll in!

heyjude · Apr 21, 2012

Yep, I get it too. I'm polite, tell them I have very specific goals for my writing, and move the conversation on. 99% of people will happily go along if you change the subject to them.

bearilou · Apr 21, 2012

I wish I could advise a way of saying something without being rude. Unfortunately, I can't because nothing hits my pet peeve button faster than 'all you gotta do is' (followed swiftly by 'all you gotta do is buy you a'). It makes me cranky and I launch at them with a very harsh rant about how it's not 'all you gotta do is' and only the very ignorant say that kind of shit.

*cough*

Perhaps the tact to take is to explain that self-publishing sure sounds great on the outside but an awful lot of energy and time goes into marketing and publicity and all the technical aspects as well of doing it yourself. That leaves little time to write, which appears to be especially important for the self-publisher because they're having to work hard in building up a catalog.

Maybe point to Amanda Hocking who has gone on record that while she loved self-publishing, she has admitted it was a hell of a lot of work when she would rather have been writing.

Me? I stick to handing them their head back and saying 'it's not as easy as you'd like to believe' and stomping off.

Bubastes · Apr 21, 2012

James D. Macdonald said:
It's the most recent iteration of "Make Millions on E-bay With the Junk in Your Basement!" that we had a few years back.

Yup, especially when it shows up on personal finance blogs: http://moneyning.com/make-money/how-to-cash-in-on-ebooks/

jclarkdawe · Apr 21, 2012

"When someone gives me a big check, then I'll know I have a book worthy of being published."

Best of luck,

Jim Clark-Dawe

Rhoda Nightingale · Apr 21, 2012

I've gotten this a bunch too, and I'm perfectly happy to be rude about it. IF I'm pushed. "Yes, I'm aware self-publishing exists, not interested." "But Christopher Paolini/Amanda Hocking/Amazon/ebooks!" *glare* "Still no, and here's why: [insert passionate and irate diatribe here.]" If they decide they know better than me about something I've put several years of research and thought into, they get the diatribe. That's how it works.

shadowwalker · Apr 21, 2012

Just tell them you'll self-publish after they finish
a) rebuilding their car's engine themselves
b) reroofing their house themselves
c) any other major project a pro would do better than they.

jeffo20 · Apr 21, 2012

kaitie said:
Is there a good way to handle it without being rude?

I feel some of that pressure, too, Kaitie, not so much from others, but just from looking at people here and in the blogosphere talking about their self-publishing adventures and successes, etc. BUT, here's the deal, self-publishing is not for everyone, and I suspect the people who pressure you don't realize how much goes into it.

Dirty Harry once said, "A man's got to know his limitations." I know mine. I have neither the eye nor the talent to design a cover or do a really spiffy layout. I'm not the one to edit my book. I don't want my book looking cheap or being riddle with typos or orphaned paragraphs that I missed because I've looked at it too many times to see. And I don't have the disposable cash to pay others to do this for me.

So, maybe the thing to tell these people is "It's a lot of extra work to self-publish, and it's not for me." Or something like that. Hang in there.

Phaeal · Apr 21, 2012

I say, "Sure, I'll self-publish as soon as you're willing to do forty hours a week marketing my books for me. For nothing, 'cause you won't get paid until I get paid."

The offender's enthusiasm level tends to go down fast after that proposal.

ohthatmomagain · Apr 21, 2012

I feel pressure to do the traditional publishing path. It's not really from my mother, but my mother (because she's 70) thinks publishing is 'in paper'. I really want to get a book I've written in her hot little hand.

I'm pressuring myself, I think, more than anyone is pressuring me.

But that's not what you asked, is it? lol

Sai · Apr 21, 2012

I have a fellow writer friend who really is pushing the self-publishing and I feel bad constantly tempering her expectations. Every now and then she'll suggest we release an anthology of our stories or something, and I'll have to explain that I just don't think the two of us that we have the marketing acumen, connections, or name recognition to make a self-published book a success. I often feel like a no-fun-nik whenever I try and sell her on traditional publishing. She's a really good writer, but I think she's a bit rejection-shy and sees self-publishing as a way to get around getting turned down. It's frustrating, but I just have to remember that I was a lot like that (a hundred rejections ago

).

Bufty · Apr 21, 2012

"It's all in hand and I'm taking advance orders and cash now for sales. How many copies do you want?"

:snoopy:

Anyone else being pressured to self-publish?

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