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Hiroko
04-18-2012, 03:07 AM
Whenever I do a search on introverts and marketing, at least one online presence states that "most writers are introverted." Is this true? How many of you would consider yourselves introverted (http://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/introversion)?

CaroGirl
04-18-2012, 03:12 AM
Writers are as diverse a group as any, I think. That said, I'm an introvert, in the sense that I'm drained rather than energized by social gatherings and need time alone to recharge my batteries.

I'm not as painfully shy as I was when I was a child and teen, and most people wouldn't know I'm still quite shy because I've learned some extroverted behaviour in social situations to cope with my shyness.

I know a lot of writers on this very board, however, who are definitely extroverts.

_Jinx_
04-18-2012, 03:16 AM
I am a bit introverted but I dont think all writers are :)

Icedevimon
04-18-2012, 03:20 AM
I suffered a lot of bullying as a kid, so early on I became shy and introverted. I got over my shyness thanks to college and many presentations XD but I'm still pretty introverted. The reason I love forums so much, for instance, is because I get that "social interaction" without actually having to look someone in the eye and all that jazz. I find stuff like this more fun and engaging than going out somewhere and doing something.

KellyAssauer
04-18-2012, 03:28 AM
I suffered a lot of bullying as a kid, so early on I became shy and introverted. I got over my shyness ...

I never did.

I don't attend social gatherings because I don't like leaving my house... and even if I did (because I have) why should I?

People taught me to not like people.

So, yes,
extremely introverted.

iRock
04-18-2012, 03:31 AM
I love people, they taste delicious.

Paté, anyone?

maybegenius
04-18-2012, 03:36 AM
I'm generally an introvert in that I need alone time to recharge and don't like having to be constantly "on." That said, I still really enjoy the company of people and will go out a lot. Still a little nervous around strangers, but I can hold my own and enjoy myself.

Elwolf
04-18-2012, 03:41 AM
Total introvert. The only way I interact with others is at work or because I have to. And I don't like it. I act "normal" basically as a defense, so people leave me alone other times. I am shy, though. I'm the "I talk so quietly you can barely hear me" type.

And I agree with Icedevimon; I totally think that being on here is more fun. I just feel so trapped in social situations. I keep on looking for someone to save me. lol

TMI, I know. Sorry!

thothguard51
04-18-2012, 03:46 AM
I like to give and get lap dances? Now sure what I am...

Ruth2
04-18-2012, 04:01 AM
I'm an introvert in that I need solitude to recharge. However, I enjoy people in small doses and act extroverted when I need to.

KellyAssauer
04-18-2012, 04:01 AM
I like to give and get lap dances? Now sure what I am...

I am.

Renee Collins
04-18-2012, 04:02 AM
I'm an extrovert. Socializing totally energizes me.

That said, I do get nervous when meeting new people, and right before social gatherings, I always feel a stab of anxiety that it will be awkward or that I'll act stupid. Though once things get going, I'm happy as a clam.

leahzero
04-18-2012, 04:04 AM
Introvert. Socializing drains me, need solitude to recover.

Anna L.
04-18-2012, 04:06 AM
I can count my close friends on my hands (not fingers, hands). I'd like to expand my circle but that'd require meeting people. Ick. The internet is less stressful.

steamforged
04-18-2012, 04:25 AM
Writers are as diverse a group as any, I think. That said, I'm an introvert, in the sense that I'm drained rather than energized by social gatherings and need time alone to recharge my batteries.

That describes perfectly why I consider myself an introvert. My friends don't think of me as an introvert, though; I went with the ambivert option as a nod to external perceptions. I find people endlessly fascinating and am completely comfortable striking up small talk with store clerks and strangers I'm in line with. When that's done, at the end of the day, I want nothing more than to disappear into a book/computer/good piece of music.

PPartisan
04-18-2012, 04:34 AM
That describes perfectly why I consider myself an introvert. My friends don't think of me as an introvert, though; I went with the ambivert option as a nod to external perceptions. I find people endlessly fascinating and am completely comfortable striking up small talk with store clerks and strangers I'm in line with. When that's done, at the end of the day, I want nothing more than to disappear into a book/computer/good piece of music.

I probably identify with this the most. I think I'm naturally inclined towards being an introvert, but if I give in to that side of myself for too long I get depressed, so getting out there and out of my comfort zone every once in a while keeps me feeling like I've earned my alone time :)

Mustafa
04-18-2012, 04:37 AM
Introvert, but I put on a show when I'm around people, so most people don't know that I really hate hanging out with them. I have good friends, but I'd prefer our contact to be via email. I'm so introverted I don't even want to spend time with my family - and I like my family - I just don't want to see them.

Snitchcat
04-18-2012, 05:11 AM
Introvert, but can be an extrovert when needed.

That doesn't quite fit ambi-vert, though I went with that option. :)

Richard White
04-18-2012, 05:50 AM
Definitely an extrovert.

I write because it's easier to tell my stories to larger bunches of people that way than having to track them all down and make them stop to listen. *grin*

Course, I've also been an actor, a musician, and play sports. Being in front of crowds is where it's at.

JeffRen
04-18-2012, 05:56 AM
I'm a proud extrosexual.

I love being with friends, telling jokes. I think it's great for a writer to know how to connect with people away from the computer.

Dreity
04-18-2012, 06:17 AM
I'm very much an introvert, but over the years I've gotten pretty good at faking otherwise. I was involved in theater and dance for most of my school years, so as long as I either 1) had a script or 2) was doing a non-verbal performance then I did great in front of crowds. Working as a cashier has helped me a lot as well, though I'm still quite reserved. Being friendly is never a struggle, but opening up and talking about something meaningful to a stranger? no wai

Of course, I kind of lose either way. Small talk is pointless and aggravating to me, but it takes me a long time to feel comfortable talking about anything deeper. Forums are such a good fit for me. I can avoid slogging through the ice breaker phase and go straight to the fun stuff. :)

Literateparakeet
04-18-2012, 06:22 AM
Definitely an extrovert.

I write because it's easier to tell my stories to larger bunches of people that way than having to track them all down and make them stop to listen. *grin*

Course, I've also been an actor, a musician, and play sports. Being in front of crowds is where it's at.

Yep, this is me too! I love to be the center of attention.

At least this is how I have been most of my life, I'm currently in an introverted "phase"...but I've been a writer in each phase.

cmi0616
04-18-2012, 06:43 AM
I think a lot of writers have suffered some kind of emotional pain that has drove them to both introversion and writing itself. Of course, there are a great number of exceptions, I would expect, but in my experience with myself and writers I have known, we're big on alone-time.

Personally speaking, I've always had a lot of trust issues and have had to deal with shyness for most of my life. I'm trying to be better about that and come out of my shell a little bit lately, though. It's been alright, but as somebody on the thread said before, social gatherings are very draining for me. I'm definitely a bit of a homebody and prefer a night on the couch to a night out on the town.

geardrops
04-18-2012, 07:02 AM
A predominant characteristic of introversion (past the obvious "people make me tired" thing) is having a rich internal world. Makes sense that it would translate to writing, or other relatively solitary creative things.

Anyway, yeah, I'm an introvert. I'm not crazy-introverted, but I definitely have to charge my batteries before I go be social.

Saavedra
04-18-2012, 07:02 AM
Depends on the day. I think writers (or other creative folks) in general get pegged as introverted because they don't have a problem spending time alone -- working. But each of us has to have some slight inclination toward extraversion to write believable characters, no?

G. Applejack
04-18-2012, 07:10 AM
Extrovert.

In fact, that's one of the things that makes me wonder if I can ever do this writing thing professionally. The cabin fever starts to set in unless I get out and interact with people on a daily basis. I dunno, I just like people. They're fun.

Maybe I'll do a part time job for social interaction/health care and the writing gig for funsies. ;)

KellyAssauer
04-18-2012, 07:12 AM
But each of us has to have some slight inclination toward extraversion to write believable characters, no?

nope. not for me anyways. observations is all i need, that, and maybe some hand sanitizer...

it's easy really, you just find a nice quiet corner to hide in and watch all the extroverts... :D

Lady Goddess
04-18-2012, 07:33 AM
I'm such an introvert. I have to be dragged out of the house to socialize and I get drained from that very,very easily. About an hour out is enough for me.

But I am learning to be a little more sociable now that I'm older. I go out once a month now, as opposed to once every six months.

Katana
04-18-2012, 08:01 AM
Extreme introvert. I'm almost in panic attack territory when faced with social situations.

flapperphilosopher
04-18-2012, 08:10 AM
I'm moderately introverted-- I'm kinda shy (though better than I once was!) and definitely need time to myself, but I do need to be around people regularly too, whether they're good friends or interesting people to meet or just people I'm eavesdropping on at the coffee shop. I really wish I was less shy because I like meeting people and getting to know them, just the actually talking to them often gives me a lot of anxiety. I think I'm a moderate-vert with an over-abundance of social anxiety, really.

Rubay H.
04-18-2012, 08:15 AM
Introvert, but can be an extrovert when needed.

That doesn't quite fit ambi-vert, though I went with that option. :)

Yeah, same here. It's like a switch I can turn on when I have to - but turning it on drains my energy.

Strangely enough, I have no problems speaking in front of an audience. To me, they no longer become individual people, but more of a giant blob with simple emotions and needs.
Mainly, the need for something to entertain them, like smashing a big watermelon with a sledgehammer or a rubber chicken pulled from an unexpected place.
Then they're like putty in your hands.

mario_c
04-18-2012, 08:16 AM
I've experienced shyness, and come to accept it as that awkward feeling you get when you realize you and a new acquaintance have nothing to say to each other. :D In RL, I'm not shy around people I know I can make a strong connection to, basically other weird artists and outsiders. But the alphas? The hot, successful, aggressive jerks? I clam up, I get awkward. Because I know they hate people like me so I don't like to be around them, either, despite the benefits of socializing with them. Unfortunately, it means my life will suck worse, so I aspire to be more witty and engaging in my conversation, even though it's not something you can practice on your own and improve. You're expected to know how to do it, but did anyone teach you in school? Did anyone train you at your job? So how the hell do you get better at it?
Sorry for the rant, just saying I appreciate this thread. And I will shuffle off to do constructive things now...

Tex_Maam
04-18-2012, 09:07 AM
For me it's like... okay, you know how in some video games you can build up special-points by doing some certain-particular thing, and when your special-points-bar gets full, then you get to unleash some super-awesome-epic killer move? And then the bar's empty and you have to start filling it up again?

That is it EXACTLY. I hide in my cave and machinate for awhile, and then I go to some big event or teach a class or hang out with my peeps, and I am AWESOME and funny and God's gift to the world and it's a great time!

... and then I'm all used up and have to go back into my cave and kill things for awhile.

I guess what I'm saying is, I can't do the extroverted stuff for very long, but BOY is it fun to get out there and cut loose.

Chasing the Horizon
04-18-2012, 09:24 AM
I'm definitely introverted, but I'm not shy. I'm fine talking with strangers, but I have no desire to form deeper relationships with them and also don't mind spending weeks/months completely alone. More than a few hours with people, though and I have to go find something less boring to do.

I'm pretty sure the "spending a month completely alone because it was cold and I didn't feel like going outside" confirms me as an introvert.

Archerbird
04-18-2012, 09:33 AM
Extrovert, though I hate people too.



Extrovert.

In fact, that's one of the things that makes me wonder if I can ever do this writing thing professionally. The cabin fever starts to set in unless I get out and interact with people on a daily basis. I dunno, I just like people. They're fun.

Maybe I'll do a part time job for social interaction/health care and the writing gig for funsies. ;)

Exactly how I feel it. Except for the 'like people'-part and the need for people on a daily basis. I can be completely alone for a whole weekend and be fine with it, but anything longer than that and I'm 96% dead.

Marya
04-18-2012, 11:01 AM
Sitting with my butt in a chair for most of the day and sometimes most of the evening has limited my social life.

When released I am a party animal who cannibalises lived experience for fiction. I'm sure Henry James would put this more delicately.

Mr Flibble
04-18-2012, 12:10 PM
Depends on the day. I think writers (or other creative folks) in general get pegged as introverted because they don't have a problem spending time alone --

I can agree with that - I have no problem spending time on my own (gratuitous Libertine quote: For what's in my mind is far more interesting than what's outside my mind)

However, anyone who's ever met me for longer than 30 seconds knows that I'm actually quite hard to shut up....I love to meet people, I'll talk to anyone.

So, yeah, extrovert who also likes spending time alone.

S.J.
04-18-2012, 03:20 PM
Definitely not an introvert but I'm not a loud extrovert. I'm not a proper writer, though.

bearilou
04-18-2012, 04:09 PM
Both!

I frequently need solitude to recharge my batteries. I'm a very low energy person so being around anything (or anyone) high energy wears me out quickly. That said, I also love being around people.

There's a caveat to that. I like being around them when I am the one who gets to choose when I socialize. I intently dislike forced socialization.

randi.lee
04-18-2012, 04:10 PM
Anyone who knows me will tell you that I am as extrovert as you can get before you start heading back toward introvert. So, no. Not all writers are introvert.

Kitty27
04-18-2012, 04:13 PM
Personality wise,I am a brawling extrovert.

But when I start writing,I transform into the classic writer introvert. I have no problem spending hours by myself with imaginary folks and writing until my wrists ache. I find this highly pleasurable and don't miss people at all.

Rhoda Nightingale
04-18-2012, 04:20 PM
Hard introvert. At work, I can fake it, and I don't get as upset by being around people as I used to. I've gotten better at making small talk, but most of the time I'm checking my watch, thinking, "Okay, how much longer does politeness oblige me to do this?"

But I can be an extrovert when I've had a bit to drink. Then, I get much more friendly for about half an hour, and fall asleep.

Determination
04-18-2012, 04:23 PM
Raises hand from her corner of solitude. Introvert!

JustJas
04-18-2012, 04:39 PM
From most of the posts here it seems that a lot of writers identify as introverts, which makes a lot of sense. I consider myself to be a classic introvert...I absolutely hate being the centre of attention, feel extremely uncomfortable in most social situations and need a lot of time alone to recharge my batteries (not great qualities for a HS teacher LOL, but surprisingly many teachers also claim to be introverts).

During my own school days I was always known as the "quiet girl" and one of my bosses once described me as the shyset person she'd ever met! (I've always wondered why people feel the need to share insights like this - do they actually think they will help?) I don't believe I was born an introvert, this is just the way life has shaped me and at this stage in my life I'm comfortable with who I am.

Devil Ledbetter
04-18-2012, 04:44 PM
I'm an introvert but I can't speak for other writers, let alone "most writers."

stormie
04-18-2012, 04:50 PM
Mostly I'm an introvert. Give me a comfy sofa and a book and I'll be happy for hours. Yet give me a party and I'm there. But it has to be a party where I know I'll feel comfortable.

Discord
04-18-2012, 04:53 PM
David Foster Wallace wrote a really excellent article about writers and TV in which he theorizes that writers are often introverts because in order to write believable characters you often subject others around you to intense scrutiny, so on some level writers assume that others are scrutinizing them, which makes them self-conscious. If you're always trying to see the world through others' eyes, you can't help seeing yourself through others' eyes, and then you become conscious of how you must appear to others. This often leads to shyness.

It was a great piece. I'll see if I can dig it up when I get home.

Phaeal
04-18-2012, 04:53 PM
With people I like and with good conversationalists, I'm an extrovert. But like Jo March, I can say that it would be easier for me to save your life than to make nicey-nice small talk with you for too long.

Like yesterday when I was hanging out at the car dealer's and this little kid came in with a huge animal encyclopedia. We had a great conversation discussing our favorites among all the taxonomic groups. (The kid knew what a species was -- what's not to love?)

Y'know, I have a terrible time getting "normal" people to discuss the relative people-killing merits of the Russell's viper versus the saw-scaled viper versus the common cobra versus the Indian krait....

heza
04-18-2012, 06:26 PM
I have no problem spending hours by myself with imaginary folks and writing until my wrists ache. I find this highly pleasurable and don't miss people at all.

I think this is probably why I don't feel the need to be more extroverted. I've got seven different worlds in my head, a hundred people, and more conversations going on than I can keep track of. Just because they're not real....

I'm not all that shy; I'm just in my own head a lot. And I'm wound up in there pretty tightly. It does take some effort to pull it all out and put it on display for other people at social gatherings--strangers moreso. But I'm really good with a few close friends and could spend days on in just being in their company. It might help that my good friends are also a bit introverted--we're together... but we're all somewhere else, as well.

KelsNotChels
04-18-2012, 06:28 PM
I'm definitely an extrovert. I haven't a shy bone in my body, and my writing reflects some of that, I think.

Susan Littlefield
04-18-2012, 06:41 PM
Whenever I do a search on introverts and marketing, at least one online presence states that "most writers are introverted." Is this true? How many of you would consider yourselves introverted (http://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/introversion)?

I know lots of writers. Some are extroverted, some are introverted. I am somewhere in the middle.

Snowball2695
04-18-2012, 07:01 PM
I myself am introverted, but I seem to know more extroverted writers than introverted. In fact, five of the writers I know are extroverted, and I only know six (not including the entire AW community).

bearilou
04-18-2012, 07:06 PM
I have no problem spending hours by myself with imaginary folks and writing until my wrists ache. I find this highly pleasurable and don't miss people at all.

yanno...taken out of context...

:ROFL:

Maze Runner
04-18-2012, 07:58 PM
By nature, I'm somewhere in between an introvert and an extrovert. But the writing itself, the hours spent alone, the sedentary hours, the act of observing, of always analyzing people and their actions in real time or in retrospect, has me leaning towards one a lot more than the other.

buz
04-18-2012, 08:27 PM
(I've always wondered why people feel the need to share insights like this - do they actually think they will help?)

People generally react to me in one of three ways: 1) Assume that, because I'm not talking, I'm a bitch/misanthrope/assface/anger-ball; 2) Take it upon themselves to force me to speak/socialize, or poke fun at how quiet I am ("we thought you were mute ha ha!"); 3) Treat me like a normal person. Number three is the least common.

I have all sorts of problems with socializing, in addition to being of introverted type (which isn't the same as shyness, like a lot of people in my life seem to assume, but it can go hand-in-hand). I like people (er...most people), but am drained by any social interaction and need a lot of privacy to recharge, and I spend a lot of time in my own head, which is kind of like living in a gremlin-infested toilet. I can't say it's pleasurable, but it is what it is.

I wouldn't say that all (or most) writers are introverts, necessarily, but I could easily see how writing would appeal to introverts, or be something we'd naturally gravitate toward. We're off in our own worlds so much anyway--my boss, I'm sure, thinks I have some sort of hearing deficiency, because when she starts speaking to me it takes so long for me to drag myself back to reality that I never hear the first few words--and can sit in solitude for longer than average without going nuts. You can sort of do what comes natural, which is nice for a change.

Alpha Echo
04-18-2012, 08:38 PM
I don't think there's any rule that says most are introverted, though this poll shows otherwise.

I, myself, am extremely introverted and more so as I get older. My ideal evening is a glass of wine and a good book with my husband beside me, and my daughter playing nearby.

We rarely go out, though I do love a nice dinner out once in awhile.

Aside from family and a few close friends - by few, I mean...I have 1 friend I get together with for lunch or dinner maybe twice a year, and my husband has a couple friends he knew in high school that we still see maybe once a year...we really aren't social. We're both happiest at home, or at least, alone together. Camping, fishing, whatever.

I prefer online communication to in person or on the phone.

*shrug*

I'm like a hermit...who's female...and married and loves sex (with the husband).

Archerbird
04-18-2012, 09:17 PM
I have all sorts of problems with socializing, in addition to being of introverted type (which isn't the same as shyness, like a lot of people in my life seem to assume, but it can go hand-in-hand).

Just wanted to say that extroverts can also be shy (or uncomfortable in social situations without being shy), just like introverts can be outgoing.
A lot of people confuse those things.

Nothing to do with buzhidao's post, but made me think about that.

Belle_91
04-18-2012, 09:39 PM
I'm an introvert, but I do like going out and meeting new people. I just don't like meeting ALOT of new people at once, and like small crowds better.

I also need to go home and recharge my batteries. I can't be out as long as other people can, and I need my alone time.

Sometimes though, I feel like I have too much alone time.

Moon Daughter
04-18-2012, 09:40 PM
I'm definitely an introvert, but I'm not an introvert because I write. I just don't like people. :P

Polenth
04-18-2012, 10:03 PM
Introversion isn't shyness... it's finding being around other people draining. You could be bouncy and loud around other people and be an introvert, because you need space away from them to recharge afterwards. On the other side, an extrovert might be a shy person, because though they find being around others energising, they never know what to say.

So when I say I'm an introvert, I mean introvert. I was not shy at all as a young child, became very shy in school, and then gradually less shy once I escaped from school. Now I'm mainly shy in formal situations. But I was an introvert the whole time.

Phaeal
04-18-2012, 10:09 PM
Someone said that a writer must be a wellspring of compassion for humanity. As far as I can see, a writer can love people or hate people, but he damn well better be interested in people.

Though I think a fascination for things may suffice in some genres.

Interest in nothing? Back away from the keyboard now, don't make us have to hurt you.

KellyAssauer
04-18-2012, 10:17 PM
As far as I can see, a writer can love people or hate people, but he damn well better be interested in people.


He or she.

And I am interested in people, they fascinate me.
and some day I hope to be one.

Well...
mmmm maybe,
verdicts still out on that...

;)

Chasing the Horizon
04-18-2012, 10:20 PM
Yeah, people confusing introversion with being shy gets really annoying.

I certainly don't think you HAVE to be introverted to be a good writer, but, as this poll shows and I've always assumed, writers are far more likely to identify as introverts than the general population. A profession that requires you to work alone for extended periods of time attracts more introverts than extroverts. Shocking. :tongue

Xelebes
04-19-2012, 12:01 AM
He or she.



They.

quicklime
04-19-2012, 12:06 AM
extrovert...if I'm out and about, the more people the better.


even though sometimes I want to stab many of them.

backslashbaby
04-19-2012, 12:31 AM
I always come up 50-50 on the Myers-Briggs. And it's true! I love people and going out and having fun, and I also need my alone time at different times (and quite often).

CaroGirl
04-19-2012, 12:47 AM
I don't think there's any rule that says most are introverted, though this poll shows otherwise.

Keep in mind that this is a poll on the Internet. Introverts might spend more time on the Internet; I don't know. But this might or might not be a representative sample of writers, the data from whom we might or might not be able to use to prove a point.

Just saying.

crunchyblanket
04-19-2012, 01:39 AM
I'm extroverted among people I know well. However, I'm introverted among strangers. So getting to know people well can be a bit of a challenge.

Alitriona
04-19-2012, 03:47 AM
I'm Introverted. I wasn't always. In the past I was on reality tv a couple of times and was a child stage performer. I was very outgoing and loved to be the center of attention. Now I don't enjoy interacting with people in person at all. I feel it sucks all the energy right out of me. I like to be alone.

CharacterInWhite
04-19-2012, 05:11 AM
I am outspoken and sociable, but still introverted.

Basically that means I have learned to play the part of an extrovert, but doing so mentally exhausts me and I either need a break or booze to do it for prolonged periods of time.

That, and I LOVE silence too much to converse all the damn time.

kaitie
04-19-2012, 05:28 AM
I'm a high-functioning introvert, meaning that I've learned to overcome vast amounts of shyness and can now actually do pretty darn well in a crowd.

I was another of those who was bullied as a kid, so something of a learned shyness. And for awhile I had no social skills and couldn't handle being around people I didn't know at all. I wouldn't speak, wouldn't make eye contact, and so on.

Nowadays I'm actually pretty sociable and I've gotten over a lot of awkwardness and learned to be more confident. I can still only handle crowds for about two hours before I start feeling drained and wanting out of there, and certain high-stress situations (staying with the in-laws anyone?) still make me pretty anxious, but I can honestly say I've come a long way, to the point that I actually enjoy being around people.

JustJas
04-19-2012, 05:55 AM
I always come up 50-50 on the Myers-Briggs. And it's true! I love people and going out and having fun, and I also need my alone time at different times (and quite often).

The Myer-Briggs test is very consistent. I always come up as an INFJ no matter which test I do, and the description is very accurate for me. I especially love this line: "Usually self-expression comes more easily to INFJs on paper, as they tend to have strong writing skills."

Any other INFJ's out there? Apparently we make up only 1-3% of the population so I can't help feeling a little special :)

Here's a link (http://www.humanmetrics.com/#Jung Myers Briggs)to a test for anyone who is interested (it's the Jung Typology test)

CrastersBabies
04-19-2012, 07:19 AM
What I get from this thread is that bullies frackin' suck. Wow. Just wow. It's so sad to read some of these comments. I was bullied as well and I feel that did contribute to me being an introvert as an adult, but, I also think I was a very introverted child and that might have made me a target for bullying. Kind of a catch 22 there.

I think most writers are introverts. We have to spend a lot of time in our heads when we write and, well, for some of us, we're quite comfortable there.

KellyAssauer
04-19-2012, 02:26 PM
I'm a high-functioning introvert, meaning that I've learned to overcome vast amounts of shyness and can now actually do pretty darn well in a crowd.


Good for you Katie! I'm glad to hear that you set and met these personal goals!



Nowadays I'm actually pretty sociable and I've gotten over a lot of awkwardness and learned to be more confident....

...but I can honestly say I've come a long way, to the point that I actually enjoy being around people.

I'm also fairly certain that you are not implying that any of the rest of us introverts who haven't reached your goals are any less confident or any less functioning!

I'm kinda satisfied with the introvert I am,
-as I'm sure- many of us are as well. =)

kaitie
04-19-2012, 06:17 PM
The Myer-Briggs test is very consistent. I always come up as an INFJ no matter which test I do, and the description is very accurate for me. I especially love this line: "Usually self-expression comes more easily to INFJs on paper, as they tend to have strong writing skills."

Any other INFJ's out there? Apparently we make up only 1-3% of the population so I can't help feeling a little special :)

Here's a link (http://www.humanmetrics.com/#Jung%20Myers%20Briggs)to a test for anyone who is interested (it's the Jung Typology test)

Yup, I'm an INFJ. I love that test. Not to derail, it's really fun to take it as one of your characters. The answers are always so spot on!

kaitie
04-19-2012, 06:19 PM
I'm also fairly certain that you are not implying that any of the rest of us introverts who haven't reached your goals are any less confident or any less functioning!

I'm kinda satisfied with the introvert I am,
-as I'm sure- many of us are as well. =)

Nope, I'm implying that I used to be super ridiculously shy and I've mostly gotten over it. And the reasons behind my super ridiculous shyness were mostly a lack of confidence (from being bullied my whole life) and a lack of social skills (based on not living in a neighborhood and getting very rare interactions with other kids my age). Those are the things I've had to work on to improve the shyness. I'm still an introvert, but I've learned to work around it. Which is good because I'm a teacher. :tongue

Kitty27
04-19-2012, 06:31 PM
yanno...taken out of context...

:ROFL:


:ROFL:

I see it now! LOL!

Discord
04-19-2012, 06:47 PM
I took Myers-Briggs in High School, and I remember being unsatisfied with the results. I think this was because at that age my self-awareness wasn't the most developed and I answered the questions more about how I wanted to be percieved, rather than accurately. Maybe I should take it again and see.

Shadow_Ferret
04-19-2012, 07:22 PM
I'm afraid of crowds. I don't like meeting new people. I'm nervous of new situations. I'm socially inept and rarely join conversations even with people I know. I have no real life friends (and keep coming up with excuses to meet up with a childhood friend who keeps emailing me that we should because I have no idea what we'd talk about). And in nearly every social setting I let my wife act as a shield.

So I don't know. Does that make me introverted?

CrastersBabies
04-19-2012, 07:58 PM
Though I'm an introvert, I can maneuver the social world easily enough. I'm a teacher as well and many of my teaching pals are also introverts. It's physically and mentally draining to turn ourselves "on," for a class, lecture, seminar or panel. And it's not that I have overcome my fear of public speaking, I've just learned how to mitigate it and have tools, exercises, tricks that I use before every single class or speaking engagement to prepare myself.

You're talking to the woman who, as a child, would whisper EVERYTHING until she was 6 or 7. I was horribly shy. If I went back in time and told my 7th grade self that I'd be teaching some day (in college and at the local jail), I wouldn't have believed it. Might have even passed out at the news.

But, you learn to function, you learn what works for you. For some, they are still shy and a bit xenophobic. For others, like me, they have to work their butts off, every day. 1st class of the semester, I still feel like I'm going to hurl. That will never go away. But, I know how to handle it and move through it.

Just because I'm an introvert doesn't mean that I can't function in an extrovert's atmosphere (and do so quite well). For me, it means that I prefer solitude, I prefer my sanctuary. I spend a lot of time in my own head. But, if I want to be a successful commercial writer, I feel I need to be comfortable to give a reading of my work, to speak to other writers at conferences, to interact with agents and publishers and the public. Not my cup of tea in any way, but a necessary evil. :)

Peter Graham
04-19-2012, 08:22 PM
Fully paid up extrovert. I'm never happier than when having a few pints in the sunshine* with a smattering of the bug eyed misfits I'm proud to call my pals. I cringe about the things I say and do, but say and do them anyway. None of it will matter after I've shuffled off!

Regards,

Peter

* A rare phenomenon in these parts

Shadow_Ferret
04-19-2012, 08:26 PM
You (CrasterBabies) seem extremely extroverted in my eyes. I dread the day I sell my book and actually have to promote it in person. I have no idea how that will happen. Maybe I could pay someone to be me.

willietheshakes
04-19-2012, 09:03 PM
People are always surprised when they find out how shy and introverted I am - apparently putting on the in-public mask really works.

DragonHeart
04-19-2012, 10:11 PM
I'm introverted, but I've learned a lot about handling social situations since I work in retail. For me it has a lot to do with confidence--yes, I too was one of those "weird kids" who got picked on in school because I didn't conform to anyone's standards but my own. Fortunately now that I've been out of school and among a group of people who are much less judgmental than my peers ever were, I've managed to overcome a lot of that perceived shyness. I still have my guard up most of the time, though.

I find it's very situational for me. Generally, the weirder someone is, the more comfortable I am around them. :p I was actually rather surprised recently when I found myself hanging out with one close friend and essentially a group of strangers (some of his friends, who were all cosplaying and more than one of them was drunk) and I actually wasn't nervous about the situation at all. Very unusual for me, but it actually felt pretty good. And also three days at a major convention with literally thousands of people everywhere--no problems. Normally I'd be fleeing in the other direction as fast as possible lol, but since it was a group of people I am comfortable with (gamers, since I am one myself), the crowd size didn't matter at all.

Sometimes even around family I find the need to retreat and recharge after an hour or two, but I guess that's more because I'm so different from most of them. Not a black sheep per se, just that I have so little in common with anyone outside my immediate family. Found it kind of funny that I was more comfortable around people dressed up as assassins, aliens and cactuars than I do around people I'm related to. So I guess I'm not as shy around people as I thought I was, it just has to be the right situation. Probably because "normal" people still judge me and I find "weird people" to be much more tolerant and, frankly, interesting in general.

Dreity
04-19-2012, 10:21 PM
I'm introverted, but I've learned a lot about handling social situations since I work in retail. For me it has a lot to do with confidence--yes, I too was one of those "weird kids" who got picked on in school because I didn't conform to anyone's standards but my own. Fortunately now that I've been out of school and among a group of people who are much less judgmental than my peers ever were, I've managed to overcome a lot of that perceived shyness. I still have my guard up most of the time, though.

I find it's very situational for me. Generally, the weirder someone is, the more comfortable I am around them. :p I was actually rather surprised recently when I found myself hanging out with one close friend and essentially a group of strangers (some of his friends, who were all cosplaying and more than one of them was drunk) and I actually wasn't nervous about the situation at all. Very unusual for me, but it actually felt pretty good. And also three days at a major convention with literally thousands of people everywhere--no problems. Normally I'd be fleeing in the other direction as fast as possible lol, but since it was a group of people I am comfortable with (gamers, since I am one myself), the crowd size didn't matter at all.

Sometimes even around family I find the need to retreat and recharge after an hour or two, but I guess that's more because I'm so different from most of them. Not a black sheep per se, just that I have so little in common with anyone outside my immediate family. Found it kind of funny that I was more comfortable around people dressed up as assassins, aliens and cactuars than I do around people I'm related to. So I guess I'm not as shy around people as I thought I was, it just has to be the right situation. Probably because "normal" people still judge me and I find "weird people" to be much more tolerant and, frankly, interesting in general.

Oh my goodness, yes!

I thought it would be so nerve-wracking and awful when my husband's old college buddies came to visit and play DND for a weekend. I thought I would be the quivery little clam that I was in school. But nope, I contributed to the conversation, made jokes and geeky references, and I almost fell out of my chair laughing at least twice. It was like I had known these people for years.

I still hide upstairs when certain family members are over because I have nothing in common with them and have no idea what to say. So yeah, if you're weird enough, we'll get along famously. ^_^

Kindness
04-19-2012, 10:55 PM
I seem to be one or the other at any one point in time. I seem to have to make a switch in mindset to socialize or write. During the months where I'm writing I don't want to be disturbed for long and human contact can be bothersome. When I'm busy socializing my priorities change and writing takes a back seat to friendships and romance. So "ambivert", I guess, haha.

Alpha Echo
04-19-2012, 10:59 PM
You know, I used to be much more of an extravert. I loved to go out and party or go to huge BBQs or whatever.

In school, I was ostracized.

Then I met my first husband who pulled me out of my shell, and though I hate to admit it, we had a lot of fun for awhile. We were extremely social, but I think I was mostly because he was. I did what he wanted to make him happy...and in doing so, at the time and sick as it was, it made me happy.

Now...I miss smoking sometimes because it would give me an excuse to get away for a few minutes if I was in a big group of people. Now, I can't get away so easily.

Fortunately, my husband's the same way, so as I mentioned in a previous post, most of the time, it's just us. :)

LJD
04-19-2012, 11:10 PM
dunno about most, but I'm one.

CrastersBabies
04-19-2012, 11:27 PM
You (CrasterBabies) seem extremely extroverted in my eyes. I dread the day I sell my book and actually have to promote it in person. I have no idea how that will happen. Maybe I could pay someone to be me.

Ha! It could be that online I'm very dynamic, but as someone else wrote, the internet seems to draw more introverts, specifically message boards and the like. I'm also a writer. I've always been vastly better at expressing myself through writing than "in person" or verbally.

Perhaps there should be a distinction between online extroversion/introversion and the "in person" type? Hmmm.

I also dread the public side of publishing. I have been to many book signings and the authors I see seem so at-ease in front of crowds. I wonder if they've just learned how to nail it over the years?

Maze Runner
04-19-2012, 11:35 PM
You know, I used to be much more of an extravert. I loved to go out and party or go to huge BBQs or whatever.

In school, I was ostracized.

Then I met my first husband who pulled me out of my shell, and though I hate to admit it, we had a lot of fun for awhile. We were extremely social, but I think I was mostly because he was. I did what he wanted to make him happy...and in doing so, at the time and sick as it was, it made me happy.

Now...I miss smoking sometimes because it would give me an excuse to get away for a few minutes if I was in a big group of people. Now, I can't get away so easily.

Fortunately, my husband's the same way, so as I mentioned in a previous post, most of the time, it's just us. :)

I'm missing something here. You were outgoing, in school you were ostracized, your first husband pulled you out of your shell, now you miss smoking 'cause it gave you an excuse to go off alone-- Not jabbing, Just interested. BTW, the smoking thing is killin' me (literally?)- was off for a year and now back on for a few months- gotta kick it-

liter8media
04-20-2012, 06:57 AM
I consider myself to be in the middle. I am deeply extroverted, but I show strong Introverted tendencies. This divide creates a problem for me in defining myself psychologically. But I'm proud of both of my sides, as well as proud of hopefully opportunities to engage on both levels.

backslashbaby
04-20-2012, 10:54 AM
I consider myself to be in the middle. I am deeply extroverted, but I show strong Introverted tendencies. This divide creates a problem for me in defining myself psychologically. But I'm proud of both of my sides, as well as proud of hopefully opportunities to engage on both levels.

I find I confuse other people. Folks who want to have a blast again the very next weekend don't always understand that yes, I really am holing up the whole weekend and nothing is wrong in the least!

Or folks who know I said No to something don't know to catch me next week instead (and I'm not just being polite when I say that). I'm not confused myself, but you can tell that it must be a fairly unusual mix of energies from people's reactions :)

Richard White
04-20-2012, 05:54 PM
This reminds me of the joke around work here:

How do you know who the extroverts are?

They look at the other person's shoes when they're talking.

Alpha Echo
04-20-2012, 06:03 PM
I'm missing something here. You were outgoing, in school you were ostracized, your first husband pulled you out of your shell, now you miss smoking 'cause it gave you an excuse to go off alone-- Not jabbing, Just interested. BTW, the smoking thing is killin' me (literally?)- was off for a year and now back on for a few months- gotta kick it-

LOL! I'm so sorry. I tend to ramble. I guess I was trying to figure myself out as I typed. Because I'm weird.

Let's forget my past.

LOL.

Right now, I'm an introvert. Very much so. so much that sometimes I miss the excuse to leave a group to smoke a cigarette.

But I don't miss the act of smoking at all. :)

LaurieD
04-20-2012, 06:24 PM
Introverted around people I don't know/feel comfortable around. Crowds and things of the like I avoid when I can.

Extroverted with people I know/am comfortable with. Was an extrovert when I was in elementary school but by the time I was in high school there were only a few people I was actually comfortable socializing with.

Dr.Gonzo
04-20-2012, 07:30 PM
Extrovert. I try and pull it back a bit at times.

Maze Runner
04-20-2012, 09:18 PM
LOL! I'm so sorry. I tend to ramble. I guess I was trying to figure myself out as I typed. Because I'm weird.

Let's forget my past.

LOL.

Right now, I'm an introvert. Very much so. so much that sometimes I miss the excuse to leave a group to smoke a cigarette.

But I don't miss the act of smoking at all. :)

Something a lot of us would like to do. That's forget our past, not yours. Right now I'm cursing Sir Walter Raleigh.

kkbe
04-21-2012, 04:47 AM
My sister told me that I'm an introverted extrovert.

Hilarious.

aruna
04-21-2012, 09:56 AM
I am the quintessential introvert. I am also intensely shy. As a child, I would not speak to anyone who was not a close family member or friend. As I grew older, some people put this down to snobbery, but it wasn't. I hate having to interact with strangers; yet I love being among them. I love travelling and going into foreign cultures and observing people. When I was ten I begged my mother to send me to boading school in England, which she did. I went, and lived a silent, shy life, making only a few friends and otherwise going pretty much unnoticed. I loved it.


With people I like and with good conversationalists, I'm an extrovert. But like Jo March, I can say that it would be easier for me to save your life than to make nicey-nice small talk with you for too long.

.
Exactly.


I don't think there's any rule that says most are introverted, though this poll shows otherwise.

I, myself, am extremely introverted and more so as I get older. My ideal evening is a glass of wine and a good book with my husband beside me, and my daughter playing nearby.

We rarely go out, though I do love a nice dinner out once in awhile.

Aside from family and a few close friends - by few, I mean...I have 1 friend I get together with for lunch or dinner maybe twice a year, and my husband has a couple friends he knew in high school that we still see maybe once a year...we really aren't social. We're both happiest at home, or at least, alone together. Camping, fishing, whatever.

I prefer online communication to in person or on the phone.

*shrug*

I'm like a hermit...who's female...and married but celibate and loves sex (with the husband).

That's me all over, except for the end -- but I fixed it.;)


The Myer-Briggs test is very consistent. I always come up as an INFJ no matter which test I do, and the description is very accurate for me. I especially love this line: "Usually self-expression comes more easily to INFJs on paper, as they tend to have strong writing skills."



I'm consistently off-the-scale INFP. The Wikipedia short description gets it to a T:

INFPs focus much of their energy on an inner world dominated by intense feeling and deeply held ethics. They seek an external life that is in keeping with these values. Loyal to the people and causes important to them, INFPs can quickly spot opportunities to implement their ideals. They are curious to understand those around them, and so are accepting and flexible except when their values are threatened.
Though I'm an introvert, I can maneuver the social world easily enough. I'm a teacher as well and many of my teaching pals are also introverts.

I couldn't imagine a worse job for me than teacher.


You (CrasterBabies) seem extremely extroverted in my eyes. I dread the day I sell my book and actually have to promote it in person. I have no idea how that will happen. Maybe I could pay someone to be me.

It was awful. Yet somehow I managed it, for the sake of my publisher. I even once gave a (succesful) talk to 100 people.
Over the years I managed to play the game and I can now go out and speak in front of people. But I hate it. I'm happiest at home.

I remember when I quit my job after my second child was born. I was so happy to get to stay at home! Some friends sneered at my decision not to go back to work and warned me that I would get rusty and the roof would fall on my head. But that was when I started to write my first novel, the one that gort published. So I got the last laugh.

noema
04-23-2012, 06:58 AM
I'm def an introvert, INFP from the myers-briggs type indicator.
Rather abusive childhood, so who knows how that changes things. I'm 30 now and its only in the last few years that I've started to feel more comfortable with myself, as in confident enough to stop clamping down me whenever I'm around people.

I have discovered that even though I'm an introvert, I enjoy talking/doing things with people I like. The problem is I know so few of those people... And since I really really really really dislike small talk as well as too many other things... trying to meet new people f***ing sucks.

As for writing, it has always been my favorite way of communicating. I even met my introvert husband online... :)

Scott Kaelen
04-24-2012, 02:29 AM
I think that all good writers in this world are sick and tired of being told that all good writers in this world are fed up with being told that all good writers in this world are fed up with being sick and tired of being introverted. I'm certainly not, and I'm sick and tired of being told that I am.
(Couldn't resist):e2bouncey

LeeCap
04-25-2012, 07:02 AM
I would consider myself extroverted.

All of my writing stem from real life experiences I've had. For me, writing is the time that i spend introverted. I write because it's almost therapeutic, a way for me to process everything i have experienced in others, and my self, in any given day.

dianeP
04-26-2012, 11:33 PM
[QUOTE=CaroGirl;7200220]That said, I'm an introvert, in the sense that I'm drained rather than energized by social gatherings and need time alone to recharge my batteries.

QUOTE]

That's exactly how I feel... drained.

It took me a long time to accept my introvertedness. Somehow I always felt I had to be social... you know, the whole "people who need people are the luckiest..."

Is it just me, or introvertedness, being solitary is kind of frowned upon?

KRHolbrook
04-27-2012, 05:26 AM
I'm an introvert writer. I have a fear of going around people I don't know and don't often speak up unless I'm talked to personally. I can be vocal online, however when it comes to real life circumstances, I clam up and keep to myself.

I've got a friend from high school who writes as well and she's the same way.

But it all depends on the person. Writers I think become introverts when they're writing to become free from distractions around them.

Hip-Hop-a-potamus
04-27-2012, 05:50 AM
Extroverted. At times, obnoxiously so. But it's been cyclic. When I was young, before my parents bought their house, we lived in an apartment when we first moved to Austin. I was about 4. I'd hang out by the pool with all the adults, and introduce everyone to everyone else. My mom called me "the social director."

I was fine all through junior high. In high school, I was dealing with the death of my father and changing schools just before 11th grade. Plus a mother who was dating a man who had not yet divorced his wife, and I was ashamed of our "back street family" status. I was made fun of for various reasons, and didn't even have a date all through the new HS.

When I got to college, I was still that way. I was NEVER without a book in my hand, especially when I went to the cafeteria because it meant I never had to talk to anyone if I didn't want to.

After the breakup with my first boyfriend, I pretty much said "#$%^ it" to everyone and life in general, and decided I was going to do whatever I wanted to do, and screw anyone who told me I couldn't. I have one of those personalities that always gets elected "leader" in group projects. Mostly because without even meaning to, I naturally take charge (all the shy people would refuse to do anything, and I never wanted to get an F).

I was finally back to being the fun kid I used to be. Basically, it's been pretty great. People always tell me how much fun I am, so I guess it's working.

Cassidy
04-27-2012, 06:54 AM
Introvert here. Most of my writer friends are introverts too, but that may say more about who I hang out than it does about writers in general...

Raventongue
04-27-2012, 07:24 AM
I'm very extroverted. So much so that I get a little nervous around very introverted people. Some deeply buried childish part of me thinks, "Oh noes! They don't like people! But I'm a person..." and I'm paranoid that they'll become hostile if I don't leave soon enough.

If I go too long without meaningful social interaction, I have less energy, my memory isn't as sharp, I get more prone to being overstressed and eventually all my joints begin to physically ache. That said, as far as extroverts go I'm very reserved- there are only two people in the world allowed to hug me because I consider it such a meaningful act. I have a very different idea of how I should treat my best friend than I do of how I should treat other friends, and a very different idea of how I should treat those than of how I should treat more casual acquaintances.

Two of my good friends are introverts and there's a noticeable difference in how close I am to them emotionally compared to my very extroverted best friend. I seem to assume, probably incorrectly, that most introverts have several things ahead of other people on their priority list and so I avoid getting too attached in fear of forming one-sided connections.

dianeP
04-27-2012, 06:05 PM
I seem to assume, probably incorrectly, that most introverts have several things ahead of other people on their priority list and so I avoid getting too attached in fear of forming one-sided connections.

In my case you wouldn't be that incorrect. Of course there are people who are important to me and take priority in my life, but in general, chances are I'd rather be doing anything other then being with someone.

buz
04-29-2012, 03:57 AM
Is it just me, or introvertedness, being solitary is kind of frowned upon?

Well, I can see how people would take it the wrong way. If I get home from work, and I'm physically exhausted from doing the work and mentally exhausted from being around people all day, I'm going to get pissy if somebody else then jumps on me at the door and insists on hearing all about my boring frustrating day that I just want to forget about. I will get away from them as soon as possible, and probably in a manner as cranky and bitchy as a tired petulant child. And I will stay away from everyone else, too, until I feel rested, which is Hardly Ever...and that adds up to a lot of avoidance.

Which is not about the other people, at all, but that's how they see it. They think you dislike them or hate them or are generally a grumpy bitchy crankypants. It's hard to explain that you're just tired as fuck and need to be alone for a while. Because an extrovert is energized by other people and doesn't really understand how being around other people just...sucks life out of you. Even if you like/love them. I dunno. Hard to explain.

SomethingOrOther
04-29-2012, 04:10 AM
As I grew older, some people put this down to snobbery, but it wasn't.

I get this a ton, lol, probably because I look like an antithesis of the sort of person who'd ever be shy in social situations.

kuwisdelu
04-29-2012, 04:11 AM
I was told I was introverted today, so I guess so.

SomethingOrOther
04-29-2012, 04:21 AM
kuwi, you're an Emperor penguin. (Saying this so you'll know how to respond when someone starts the "Are most writers Emperor penguins?" thread.)

kuwisdelu
04-29-2012, 04:23 AM
kuwi, you're an Emperor penguin.

Lots of times, I feel like a penguin.

Mharvey
04-29-2012, 04:58 AM
I think most writers, including myself, are introverts - I mean, ideally, you spend 2-4 hours a day in your own mind, writing/editing your writing. That's a whole lot of conscious time to spend in your own head.

I think being introverted is a professional hazard. :)

CalebJMalcom
05-04-2012, 12:41 AM
I'm totally an extrovert, but at the same time my mind is constantly churning churning churning away. So while I could be out doing while and crazy or spontaneous things my mind is always working away on stories or what not.

Raventongue
05-04-2012, 12:54 AM
I'm totally an extrovert, but at the same time my mind is constantly churning churning churning away. So while I could be out doing while and crazy or spontaneous things my mind is always working away on stories or what not.

Yes, this! I get most of my story ideas in the middle of parties and such.

Adam
05-04-2012, 01:45 AM
Introverted around people I don't know/feel comfortable around. Crowds and things of the like I avoid when I can.

Extroverted with people I know/am comfortable with.

This. ;)

bkendall
05-04-2012, 03:59 AM
Very introverted around strangers, extroverted around friends. Sometimes though, I don't even want to be around my best friends and won't talk to anyone. Introvertedness seems to self-perpetuate once it hits.