View Full Version : You took the words right outta my mouth!

Pages : [1] 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23

Caitlin Black
04-07-2012, 02:27 PM
In a shameless attempt to start a thread that lasts for more than 1000 posts (which I've not done yet! *shock horror*) I bring you a new game thread!

Okay, it's pretty simple (and hopefully hasn't been done on AW yet).

I'll say *part* of a sentence. Just part, that's crucial. Then the next poster *finishes* my sentence, in whatever way they deem fit. It could be anything - but hopefully fun in some way.

They then leave part of a sentence for the next poster, and on and on it goes! (Hopefully.)

(Thanks to benbradley for starting that sentence fragment thread a little while ago. This idea came in part from that. :))

Okay, here we go:

"I just don't think that duck's got..."

04-07-2012, 02:43 PM
what it takes to keep Haggis satisfied.

It really should...

Caitlin Black
04-07-2012, 03:07 PM
be a 4-day weekend every week.

If only he hadn't...

04-07-2012, 04:35 PM
sliced through the refrigerator with the chain saw.

Right there, in the middle of the road...

04-07-2012, 07:08 PM
Sat a toad looking sad.

What a foolish thing to...

04-07-2012, 08:31 PM
...Propose to a woman you don't even know.

Who ordered the...

04-07-2012, 08:34 PM
plate of bacon with extra smooze?

Do these pants...

04-07-2012, 10:14 PM
...make the pockets look fat?

for the light that went out

04-07-2012, 10:22 PM
we need a new electrician.

Why are you doing...

04-08-2012, 12:18 AM
face-plants into the couch?

Didn't the maid clean...

04-08-2012, 12:22 AM
behind the kids' ears?

I found a...

04-08-2012, 01:33 AM
shilling in that old jar.

When the cat's out of the bag....

04-08-2012, 01:41 AM
you need hazmat gear to get it back in.

Sally sells seashells...

04-08-2012, 02:25 AM
showing she sells shiny sitting shelves.

This is not understandable at...

Caitlin Black
04-08-2012, 02:37 AM
first glance, but if you look closely, you can see that blood really is the new black!

What better way to...

04-08-2012, 03:37 AM
discourage the male ego.

Will my shoes...

Silver King
04-08-2012, 04:13 AM
In a shameless attempt to start a thread that lasts for more than 1000 posts (which I've not done yet! *shock horror*) I bring you a new game thread!
Most of the game threads that start out in Office Party die out before long. The best place to try this type of endeavor is in the Writing Exercises room (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=33), where it would have a better chance of staying alive in the long run.

It's fine in this forum, of course; but if you find that the game loses its steam here, let me know and I'll see about moving it to the other room.

Will my shoes...
...make my feet look sexy?

How was I supposed to know that...

Caitlin Black
04-08-2012, 04:23 AM
Most of the game threads that start out in Office Party die out before long. The best place to try this type of endeavor is in the Writing Exercises room (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=33), where it would have a better chance of staying alive in the long run.

It's fine in this forum, of course; but if you find that the game loses its steam here, let me know and I'll see about moving it to the other room.

Ah, thanks SK. If it dies, I'll let you know. :)

...make my feet look sexy?

How was I supposed to know that...

chickens were the living incarnations of dead monarchs?

I, Cliff, do solemnly swear...

04-08-2012, 04:33 AM
to do my best to preserve the insanity of AW, for as long as we both shall live.

The only option is...

04-08-2012, 04:33 AM
...to stop swinging on the outhouse door.

Whatever happened to...

04-08-2012, 04:34 AM
Jimmy Hoffa's ex-girlfriend's mother's second-cousin twice removed?

The only way to do it is...

Charles Farley
04-08-2012, 04:37 AM
slowly and painfully.

It really only takes . .

Caitlin Black
04-08-2012, 04:38 AM
1 to tango, but the cleanup afterwards is horrendous!

Whatever you do, just don't...

Charles Farley
04-08-2012, 04:46 AM
forget that I still have the videos.

I just need you too . .

04-08-2012, 04:50 AM
sign these release forms in blood.

After this, we're going to...

04-08-2012, 05:36 AM
...need a transfusion.

Do we have any AB-negative in the...

04-08-2012, 05:40 AM
laboratory refrigerator?

How much would you like...

Caitlin Black
04-08-2012, 01:03 PM
me to stop biting my nails at the Duchess's Ball?

How could you...

04-08-2012, 02:16 PM
think we'd leave this alone?

That dang rabbit left me...

Caitlin Black
04-08-2012, 02:20 PM
for another doll, that scamp!

If only I'd had the sense...

04-08-2012, 02:22 PM
of smell that they do.

I'd track them through...

04-08-2012, 02:23 PM
....to change into clean underwear before the date.

How am I supposed to......

04-08-2012, 06:52 PM
underestimate them if they already tell me everything I need to know about them?

When one is unclear, one should...

Charles Farley
04-08-2012, 07:15 PM
always plan for the worst possible outcome.

It's like that time we . .

04-08-2012, 07:33 PM
threw hydrangeas at the scientologists.

But since it's Sunday, we could...

04-08-2012, 08:22 PM
lay off the hullabaloo and crack some chocolate eggs :)

This is the part where....

04-08-2012, 08:43 PM
...everyone acts fake-polite and lets someone else grab the candy first.

What I really want is...

04-08-2012, 08:54 PM
some cheese!

Why'd you put the answer...

04-08-2012, 09:47 PM
inside the Easter Basket?

For given values of honesty, you should...

04-09-2012, 12:31 AM
...Sell all of our luggage to the gypsies.

Look at what I found...

04-09-2012, 12:39 AM
under the couch searching for stray chocolate!

Will the vacuum...

04-09-2012, 01:05 AM
release the dog and not the dog hair?

The best thing about Easter is...

04-09-2012, 01:14 AM
chocolate is required eating.

The sky is looking...

04-09-2012, 01:40 AM
down at us earthlings with chagrin

The airspeed vilocity of…

04-09-2012, 02:18 AM
a turtle is negligible.

The bestest thing in the world to my pet hamster is...

04-09-2012, 02:47 AM
another hamster, as either sex or a snack.

Although it does make me wonder....

04-09-2012, 03:09 AM
...why we ever tried to evolve distinctions of our longings in the first place.

If you're going to the kitchen, get me a...

Silver King
04-09-2012, 04:22 AM
...beer please, Dear.

I knew you were asking for trouble when...

04-09-2012, 04:25 AM
you opened your mouth.

I never thought he would have...

04-09-2012, 04:49 AM
the nerve NOT to put chocolate in it!

I tried to convince him, but ...

Caitlin Black
04-09-2012, 04:52 AM
his head was 6 inches away from his body, making it difficult for him to grasp things.

It never fails to...

04-09-2012, 05:06 AM
amaze me, how silly some people are.

The thing I want most from you is...

Caitlin Black
04-09-2012, 05:08 AM
your credit card details, PIN number and a letter of apology to the Dean of Medicine.

This house will never...

04-09-2012, 05:28 AM
make it through another barrage of chocolate cakes like that last one.

I'll distract Susie if you...

Caitlin Black
04-09-2012, 05:29 AM
keep Alleycat away from the Muppet long enough for radio silence.

In the end, they always...

04-09-2012, 06:47 AM
kiss and make up.

Nothing like a little male bonding to...

04-09-2012, 07:13 AM
get the vice cops to break down the door.

Do you have cab fare or should I....

Caitlin Black
04-09-2012, 07:23 AM
put you in a barrel and hire a catapault?

Nobody ever said...

04-09-2012, 01:57 PM
flying was easy.

Which way should I rub...

04-09-2012, 02:41 PM
the lamp to find the genie?

Why are there so many...

04-09-2012, 04:02 PM
lamps and so few genies?

If I had three wishes, I would...

04-09-2012, 08:04 PM
...not be scrubbing hamsters in this pet store sweatshop.

My lilac trees seem to be growing...

04-09-2012, 10:11 PM
kiwi fruit.

Maybe I should have watered them with....

04-09-2012, 10:43 PM

Someone found my stash of ...

04-09-2012, 11:22 PM
chocolate--and I think I know who it was, Susie! :wag:

Tom couldn't believe he saw...

Caitlin Black
04-10-2012, 03:54 AM
an 8 year old not on a sugar high, but there Jess was, right in front of his eyes!

"Jess," he said, ...

04-10-2012, 05:40 AM
could step down off the kitchen table?

That's when the door opened and...

Caitlin Black
04-10-2012, 06:05 AM
then closed again. Damn ghosts!

How many roads must a man...

04-10-2012, 02:48 PM
pave, before he gets one right.

Just after the construction zone...

04-10-2012, 05:09 PM
....and around the corner from the meth lab.

The cows and the sheep...

04-10-2012, 07:51 PM
...have begun playing Electric Fence Chicken.

That's one of the...

Silent Rob
04-10-2012, 07:56 PM
...crocodiles I left under the christmas tree!

What did I do to...

Gilroy Cullen
04-10-2012, 09:24 PM
... deserve the burial of a dead goat?

I've asked you a thousand times ...

04-10-2012, 09:30 PM
....not to scratch your neck with your foot!

If I've said it once....

04-10-2012, 09:51 PM
...you've never said it before

04-10-2012, 10:21 PM
...which that much sincerity.

Can you please let go of my...

04-10-2012, 11:42 PM
Blue-light Special?

It tickles when you...

Gilroy Cullen
04-10-2012, 11:49 PM
... drop the bowling pins on my head.

A car missed the guardrail...

04-10-2012, 11:56 PM
and we were almost rich.

A cat needs cufflinks because...

04-11-2012, 12:00 AM
...of all of the Charity Balls they attend.

Did you remember to...

Gilroy Cullen
04-11-2012, 12:05 AM
... find the Meatloaf CD?

A train traveling from the city...

04-11-2012, 01:00 AM
missed Gotham by a long shot so I guess Bruce Wayne/Dark Knight is stuck with me :) :)

Are those birds supposed to be.....

Caitlin Black
04-11-2012, 03:45 AM
...flirting upside down in the tree next to the statue of Elizabeth I?

When jimmying locks, always remember...

04-11-2012, 03:53 AM
...use two paperclips, and bite your bottom lip just a little bit.

Mind your shirt tails don't...

04-11-2012, 04:13 AM
....drip pond water on my clean floor.

Is your dog friendly or is she.....

04-11-2012, 04:22 AM
...just trying to borrow my car again?

There's no point picking at...

Caitlin Black
04-11-2012, 08:28 AM
the walls, there're 3 guards with machetes on the other side anyway!

I said, "I love you," but...

04-11-2012, 08:57 AM
...but I was thinking about cupcakes.

If you ever need a ratchet...

Caitlin Black
04-11-2012, 09:02 AM
...I know a guy who can get you one, no questions asked.

Until this moment...

Silent Rob
04-11-2012, 01:25 PM
...I never realised how aggressive chupacabras really were.

A plague on both...

Caitlin Black
04-11-2012, 01:49 PM
your house and, uh, say, do you have a rental property by any chance?

I would not, should not, could not...

Silent Rob
04-11-2012, 02:04 PM
...play purple haze with my teeth.

My kingdom for a...

Caitlin Black
04-11-2012, 02:14 PM
good night's sleep and the luck to get past the monkeys on level 3.

They don't make 'em...

Silent Rob
04-11-2012, 02:26 PM
...out of asbestos anymore.

A Mars a day...

04-11-2012, 03:11 PM
keeps my dentist busy.

Hand me that...

Gilroy Cullen
04-11-2012, 03:17 PM
dragon scale tooth brush.

The chef opened the can...

04-11-2012, 04:18 PM
and embarrassed the guy sitting there reading a magazine.

You really should lock the door when...

Silent Rob
04-11-2012, 04:43 PM
...you don't want your prisoners to escape.

I wandered lonely as a...

04-11-2012, 06:26 PM
...clown who has inflated his big-pants with flatulence.

The Irish step-dancers found...

Silent Rob
04-11-2012, 06:56 PM
...that their tin whistles had contracted in the cold.

Killer robots from the future...

Gilroy Cullen
04-11-2012, 07:12 PM
left their circuits in the time machine.

A chicken ran into the road ...

04-11-2012, 08:33 PM
waved down the West End bus, and disappeared into the throng of traffic.

Since the jar lid was stuck...

Silent Rob
04-11-2012, 08:57 PM
...I was forced to open it with my sabre.

Cavalry officers make the...

04-11-2012, 09:02 PM
....horses snort with irritation at their posturing -- bipeds! Humph!

When in Rome....

Gilroy Cullen
04-11-2012, 10:07 PM
avoid the public baths.

A pewter plate...

04-12-2012, 02:42 AM
...is not as much fun as a pew-pew-pew-tyrannosaurus.

Ask not for whom the bell tolls, it tolls...

Lady Goddess
04-12-2012, 03:27 AM
...for those who don't listen.

There's a reason that bears...

04-12-2012, 03:51 AM
are good high wire performers.

If that elf isn't talking, try....

04-12-2012, 04:06 AM
...calling the shop steward at Keebler Local 281 and asking whether you're in violation of some part of the collective agreement.

If your friends don't dance, well--they don't dance, and they're...

Caitlin Black
04-12-2012, 04:13 AM
...playing it safe, but not getting the girls.

Pyrotechnics in the daytime is like...

04-12-2012, 05:03 AM
a huge waste of money.

What was I supposed to do...

Lady Goddess
04-12-2012, 05:48 AM
...with these sandwiches?

My God, man, are you wearing...

04-12-2012, 06:08 AM
Where are you going dressed like that?

Caitlin Black
04-12-2012, 06:11 AM
Where are you going dressed like that...

Fixed it for ya. ;)

...odd-shaped man down the street?

If at first you don't succeed...

04-12-2012, 06:17 AM
try using cliff notes next time.

Too bad AW doesn't have sound avies, because Cliff's would...

Caitlin Black
04-12-2012, 06:18 AM
...be considered an act of terrorism.

I don't know what I've been told...

04-12-2012, 06:22 AM
because I've slept since then.

The best book I ever read had a...

Caitlin Black
04-12-2012, 07:53 AM
disclaimer in the front that any resemblance to living people would be so cool!

Up and down, and left...

04-12-2012, 08:16 AM
...and forgotten, the giraffes and lemmings that fell off the truck stared forlornly down the road after it.

If I had a nickel for every...

Caitlin Black
04-12-2012, 08:36 AM
dollar I've ever spent, would that be called "tax"?

Rhinoplasty isn't recommended for...

04-12-2012, 10:00 AM

Hey, check out the legs on...

Caitlin Black
04-12-2012, 10:02 AM
that caterpillar!

I only squish things that...

Silent Rob
04-12-2012, 02:07 PM
...ask me to.

It's better to give than...

Caitlin Black
04-12-2012, 02:34 PM
...take the last beer in a biker bar.

If symptoms persist...

04-12-2012, 02:36 PM
just relax and enjoy the weekend.

When the alarm sounded...

Caitlin Black
04-12-2012, 02:38 PM
...I knew the pink stilettos weren't going to be mine without a hasty escape from the museum.

Three men walk into a bar...

Gilroy Cullen
04-12-2012, 03:17 PM
but four of them left, two in skirts.

If a writer married an actor ...

Silent Rob
04-12-2012, 03:38 PM
...there would be too many cats to count.

On the count of three...

04-12-2012, 04:01 PM
lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe.

And the people will feast upon...

04-12-2012, 06:11 PM

I speak to the moon and the moon...

04-12-2012, 06:13 PM
poops stars.

No, seriously, ...

Gilroy Cullen
04-12-2012, 06:16 PM
I really am related to Prince William!

An author and an actor walk down the aisle...

04-12-2012, 06:37 PM
of the grocery store in search of ingredients to write and act upon.

It sounded better before I...

04-12-2012, 07:10 PM
signed it.

Would you please pass the...

04-12-2012, 10:37 PM
Chicken butt.

Guess what?

04-12-2012, 11:23 PM
Guess what... (fixed it for you)

the circumference of the entire galaxy is, down to the fifth-second decimal place and win a Kewpie doll!

I didn't know that...

Lady Goddess
04-13-2012, 12:20 AM
.0006% of penguins are lactose intolerant.

Baby let me show you how to...

04-13-2012, 01:25 AM
do that again--and again--and maybe one more time for good measure.

Water is good for...

04-13-2012, 01:42 AM
about an hour, then you must season it heavily.

The internet said I should...

Gilroy Cullen
04-13-2012, 02:08 AM
leave the milk on the counter for two weeks.

When the library closes ...

Caitlin Black
04-13-2012, 03:55 AM
...it turns into a gothic nightclub with free entry if you can find the service door.

For the love of God, don't...

04-13-2012, 04:41 AM
wear all those bright colors!

The drink he mixed included;

04-13-2012, 05:04 AM
...everyone in my subsequent hijinx!

Parrots began...

Caitlin Black
04-13-2012, 06:27 AM
...but they don't have the willpower to finish anything.

Does this smell like...

04-13-2012, 07:50 AM
...a bloodhound does, with its nose to the ground?

Three dead trolls in a baggie...

Caitlin Black
04-13-2012, 08:34 AM
.., better keep under the cops' radar!


04-13-2012, 09:49 AM
...the button that says don't push it, I dare you.

It was a surprisingly small massacre, but...

04-13-2012, 10:39 AM
hysteria still broke out in the ant hill.

Once upon a speckled turkey...

Caitlin Black
04-13-2012, 11:35 AM
...I rode a rainbow all the way to the moon!

It might be broken, but...

Silent Rob
04-13-2012, 12:10 PM
...I'm still going to sell it to a gypsy.

When listening to Lynyrd Skynyrd...

Caitlin Black
04-13-2012, 01:59 PM
...try not to trash your hotel room too badly.

When putting together furniture from Ikea...

04-13-2012, 02:32 PM
you'll need a grade school kid to interpret the cartoons and some super-glue.

Since it's Friday the 13th we should...

Silent Rob
04-13-2012, 02:36 PM
...swap hair-dos!

Whip it like...

Gilroy Cullen
04-13-2012, 05:18 PM
a Roman slave being punished.

An open car door ...

04-13-2012, 05:33 PM
won't stop a Mack truck.

I can't believe I just ...

Silent Rob
04-13-2012, 07:19 PM
...went to Starbucks and ordered a big mac.

I remember when the grass was green and...

04-13-2012, 08:14 PM
...gasoline cost eighty-five cents a gallon, US.

Now I have a pain...

Caitlin Black
04-14-2012, 03:09 AM
...in the butt partner who won't help out around the house.

The only thing you need to know...

04-14-2012, 04:37 AM
is what I won't tell you anyway.

Spring is ...

Caitlin Black
04-14-2012, 05:57 AM
...made for people who actually leave their house once in a while.

I'm not eccentric, I'm...

04-14-2012, 05:58 AM
full of glitter and sparkles and rhinestones.

Don't look now, but you just stepped on a...

Caitlin Black
04-14-2012, 06:01 AM
decapitated head.

People should really clean...

04-14-2012, 06:06 AM
their minds before posting in the Office.

You could cut the innuendo with...

Caitlin Black
04-14-2012, 06:39 AM
...a spoon.

I'd rather...

04-14-2012, 06:52 AM
eat ice cream.

The most awesome flavor is ...

Caitlin Black
04-14-2012, 07:20 AM
... more expensive than it really should be.

To sleep, perchance...

04-14-2012, 07:24 AM
you've taken your Ambien like a good little insomniac.

My dreams last night included a...

Caitlin Black
04-14-2012, 07:47 AM
... hippopotamus who was scared of spiders!

A broken finger is only...

04-14-2012, 07:56 AM
...the bestest way evah to make everyone in the room scream at once.

The monkeys really know how to...

Caitlin Black
04-14-2012, 07:57 AM
... keep the astronauts entertained on the International Space Station.

I am woman, hear me...

04-14-2012, 02:34 PM
finally emerge from the bathroom.

So you think my main character...

04-14-2012, 05:36 PM
is so hawt that there should be a law against such awesomeness? :yessmiley

The best cure in the world for the blues is...

04-14-2012, 11:32 PM
...chirpy pop songs, so long as you don't mind the brain damage.

I only shaved the alpaca to...

04-15-2012, 01:57 AM
knit more booties for the chupacabra chihuahua.

Moderation should...

Caitlin Black
04-15-2012, 02:23 AM
...be enforced with an iron fist by far too many people.

The key to success...

04-15-2012, 02:34 AM
...is hanging in the garage behind the jar of rusted penny nails.

No one can be expected to...

Caitlin Black
04-15-2012, 02:37 AM
...win the lottery on their first try; you've just got to keep trying!

The only reason...

04-15-2012, 09:28 AM
...is raisins.

How often have you used that mirror to...

04-15-2012, 09:45 AM
...practice speaking to girls -.-

Raisins cause heart attacks and...

04-15-2012, 01:19 PM
depression in lab rats.

If I start now,

Caitlin Black
04-15-2012, 03:38 PM
...will someone break my fall when I can't stop?

Chocolate is...

04-15-2012, 04:25 PM
the secret of Susie's super powers.

The only good use for cosmetics is...

04-16-2012, 01:29 AM
to hide a multiple of sins.

A pound of bacon a day keeps...

04-16-2012, 01:50 AM
...your car beautifully shiny, if you rub it in right.

The soup is a little salty because I made it with...

Caitlin Black
04-16-2012, 05:05 AM
Salt and Vinegar chips.

That's not how you play...

04-16-2012, 06:04 AM
the banjo.

The verb I'm looking for...

04-16-2012, 06:06 AM
is disguised as a dancing banana.

Better take the time to adjust your...

Caitlin Black
04-16-2012, 06:14 AM
...monocle, the Queen's almost finished dessert!

Absolute Write is, without a doubt, the...

04-16-2012, 06:27 AM
best website in the wide world of the web!

Since I answered that correctly, I get a ...

Caitlin Black
04-16-2012, 07:28 AM
...free pass to blackmail Silver King next time he's wanting to ban someone. ;)

The crux of it is...

04-16-2012, 07:50 AM
I ate the whole darn thing.

My doctor said....

04-16-2012, 08:24 AM
...he specializes in lobotomies and I make an interesting subject.

I don't know how it got in there, but that...

04-16-2012, 09:02 AM
...telephone looks weird stuck in the mountain side.

An apple a day...

04-16-2012, 09:30 AM
...makes it freaking hard to walk if you're hoarding them in your underpants.

Maurice's bones are jutting out of...

04-16-2012, 09:55 AM
....his ears.

Shoulder pads should never be worn except when...

Caitlin Black
04-16-2012, 11:01 AM
...you're expecting to be tackled by Superman.

What the hell is in...

04-16-2012, 02:05 PM
the water here at the cooler?

For environmental testing we'll need...

Gilroy Cullen
04-16-2012, 04:05 PM
... someone without an engineering degree.

A train derailed ...

04-16-2012, 04:10 PM
...means no thoughts are present, or they ran away.

Two in the hand is....

04-16-2012, 04:19 PM
depends on what you have two of in your hand.

The pink dinosaurs ate

04-16-2012, 04:26 PM
the purple one that ate the green one that ate the yellow one that ate the....

The worst thing about morning is ...

04-16-2012, 04:59 PM
...purple stalks to turning frosted gold.

When posting online, it is always good to remember...

04-16-2012, 10:19 PM
to be cautious here on April 1.

The blue horse looked

04-16-2012, 10:29 PM
a little aqua around the gills from being flown so hard.

In the meantime you're going to...

04-16-2012, 10:47 PM
...purgatory, at least, for wearing that shirt with those shoes.

This avacado has a...

04-17-2012, 02:24 AM
lump on it that looks exactly like the profile of Gerard Depardieu.

They say it's better...

04-17-2012, 02:27 AM
...after 50, but who's they?

I think I smell...

04-17-2012, 02:31 AM
the overwhelming aroma of respect and adoration.

As soon as the bell rings...

04-17-2012, 02:33 AM
... I toss the phone out the window.

How many telemarketers does it take...

Caitlin Black
04-17-2012, 02:46 AM
...to understand that I just don't want to buy their discount makeup?

Did you know, monsters...

04-17-2012, 03:26 AM
are really humans and humans are really monsters?

I'll take the blackened salmon with...

04-17-2012, 03:27 AM
...a bleached-blond server.

And for dessert...

04-17-2012, 03:27 AM
a side of antacids.

What really works for a romantic story is...

Caitlin Black
04-17-2012, 04:50 AM
...brutal death metal and a necromancer without eyes.

I'm not drunk, I'm...

04-17-2012, 05:24 AM
always singing Bohemian Rhapsody in the back seat of police cars.

When did the floor get so...

04-17-2012, 05:27 AM
close to my face.

Does this shirt compliment...

Caitlin Black
04-17-2012, 05:28 AM
...my nose hairs?

That's not a knife...

04-17-2012, 05:39 AM
it's a spork.

Put that in your pipe and...

04-17-2012, 06:02 AM
...call a plumber.

All the world's a stage and we are...

Caitlin Black
04-17-2012, 06:04 AM
...all getting upstaged by our pets.

While dancing the Charleston...

04-17-2012, 06:36 AM
try not to have a New York moment.

All out of town guests...

Caitlin Black
04-17-2012, 06:52 AM
...report to the salt mines for scheduled exercise!

Any time, any place,...

04-17-2012, 07:55 AM
slap a zombie on its face.

We will tell no rhyme...

Caitlin Black
04-17-2012, 08:46 AM
... no, not this time!

What are you doing with my...

04-17-2012, 08:50 AM

I've been sleepwalking....

Caitlin Black
04-17-2012, 08:53 AM
...so if I happened to kick you and call you names, you shouldn't blame me. ;)

If I were ever banned, I'd...

04-17-2012, 08:55 AM
...run away and join the circus.

It's almost time for the elephants to...

04-17-2012, 09:32 AM
...run around a ring of posies...

You can't make an omlette without breaking...

Caitlin Black
04-17-2012, 10:09 AM
...your arm, not how I do it!

The flies are...

Silent Rob
04-17-2012, 10:55 AM
...arranged in alphabetical order.

I come bearing...

04-17-2012, 11:18 AM
...army fatigues in a fatigued manner.

What once was, shall be...

Silent Rob
04-17-2012, 11:22 AM
...sold on ebay.

My milkshake brings...

Caitlin Black
04-17-2012, 11:24 AM
...death to all lactose-intolerant children.

I can't believe he didn't...

Silent Rob
04-17-2012, 11:25 AM
...realise he had a mullet.

Five different kinds of fruit and veg...

Caitlin Black
04-17-2012, 12:00 PM
...make Skittles the healthy choice!

I once saw a woman who...

04-17-2012, 12:22 PM
...yawned and released a lot of mosquitoes.

This is the only world we know and...

Silent Rob
04-17-2012, 12:41 PM
...we can offer it to you on a very attractive timeshare deal.

This year, I will be holidaying...

04-17-2012, 12:55 PM
....inside a keyboard.

What goes chirp and....

Caitlin Black
04-17-2012, 01:41 PM
...then screams probably had a run-in with a cat.

Jazz aint all it's...

04-17-2012, 02:58 PM
a close personal friend of mine for mmmmrf years.

When quoting movies you should...

Silent Rob
04-17-2012, 03:40 PM
...always add cowbell.

When the sun shines...

Gilroy Cullen
04-17-2012, 03:53 PM
... vampires sparkle just before they explode.

Never piss off ...

04-17-2012, 05:15 PM
a woman named Lavern.

You just might get lucky and...

Gilroy Cullen
04-17-2012, 06:11 PM
Find $20 as you fall into the sewer.

A call to the police...

04-17-2012, 08:33 PM
is sometimes necessary for muppet removal.

Never mix...

04-17-2012, 08:45 PM
muppets with chinchillas.

We're under a slight risk...

04-17-2012, 08:48 PM
of mutually assured destruction.

It would be helpful if...

04-17-2012, 08:53 PM
...those boxes weren't in the way.

Live and let....

04-17-2012, 11:46 PM

When you cross an angry cat...

04-18-2012, 12:16 AM
you will need stitches. Lots of stitches.

But my doctor says I should...