- Joined
- Aug 20, 2007
- Messages
- 536
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- Location
- Austin, TX
- Website
- www.matthewborgard.com
I've got some close acquaintances looking over it, but I'd like to get an outside opinion. Any comments about pace, readability, consistency, etc. would be much appreciated. Of course, it's fairly long for a first novel, but not all that long for epic fantasy (and has already been trimmed substantially, I promise!) so if you see any good candidates for cutting, I'd be all ears.
Here's the blurb/query:
No one returns from the wastelands.
Royal knight Victoria has reminded herself of that axiom every day since her mentor and lover, Xavier, disappeared. But when she begins to hear his voice in her head, she hopes he’s the exception. Victoria follows the voice through the kingdom only to find Xavier’s body has been commandeered by a self-professed god. Now he wants to get home, and he claims to need Victoria’s help.
Victoria wants revenge for the desecration of Xavier's body, but she feigns cooperation, repugnant though it may be, and uncovers the god’s true goal: to drain the magic from her world and turn its people into slaves. To discover the extent of the gods' interference, and to stop them, Victoria must travel to their home: the wastelands. And no one returns from the wastelands.
Thanks for taking a look, and let me know if you're interested!
Here's the blurb/query:
No one returns from the wastelands.
Royal knight Victoria has reminded herself of that axiom every day since her mentor and lover, Xavier, disappeared. But when she begins to hear his voice in her head, she hopes he’s the exception. Victoria follows the voice through the kingdom only to find Xavier’s body has been commandeered by a self-professed god. Now he wants to get home, and he claims to need Victoria’s help.
Victoria wants revenge for the desecration of Xavier's body, but she feigns cooperation, repugnant though it may be, and uncovers the god’s true goal: to drain the magic from her world and turn its people into slaves. To discover the extent of the gods' interference, and to stop them, Victoria must travel to their home: the wastelands. And no one returns from the wastelands.
Thanks for taking a look, and let me know if you're interested!