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lindafox
12-20-2005, 08:38 PM
Thank you for your query. We are not interested in pursuing the project at this time, but we wish you well for its success.

Ah well, the email query probably wasn't very good it went like this....

I have written a Children’s book that I am actively looking for representation.

Title: Why am I Different?

Synopsis: A story about a little boy who has ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) and PDD-NOS (Pervasive Developmental Disorder – Not Otherwise Specified, also this disorder is on the Autism Spectrum). This little often plays by himself and doesn’t understand why he doesn’t have more friends. His mother explains to the children that he goes to school with that because he has special needs that he is just like them.

Pages: About 15 pages

Illustrations: None, but desperately needs them.

Contact: My info

Susie
12-20-2005, 10:00 PM
Sure sorry, Linda. The first rejection is the hardest. The rest get a little easier. Hope you only get acceptances! and :welcome: to the AW.

clara bow
12-21-2005, 03:21 AM
tough luck, eh? Just keep persevering! I am intrigued by your story idea (probably because as a therapist I've worked with ADHD and PDD clients). If I may be so bold, I would suggest peppering your query with examples of the challenges these kids face that you write about in the story. Astonish the agent with how reading this story will help parents and kids alike, whether they are on the front line, or caregivers/teachers, or people that you want to educate about the disorders. Make this sound like a must read for people who are impacted by them. Otherwise, I'm afraid the query comes across a little dry. It reminded me almost of some of my training manuals, so clinical in nature!

Wow them with the story, then impress them with your credentials on the subject. That's my two cents, anyway, take it or leave it. Good luck!

emerald dragonfly
12-21-2005, 07:22 AM
Sorry....:( I know too well about the subject of your story. I have 2 boys with autism, aspergers syndrome. Also PDD NOS.

Keep up the writing on this subject. Alot of kids, that includes teenagers, don't understand why some kids are inflicted with this. This is a wide spread epidemic and needs to be more aware of in the schools.


emerald dragonfly

lindafox
12-22-2005, 03:14 AM
Got #2 today!! Both were online submissions, I have a query letter all ready to go out!!

Vomaxx
12-22-2005, 07:11 AM
Ah well, the email query probably wasn't very good it went like this....

I have written a Children’s book that I am actively looking for representation.

Title: Why am I Different?

Synopsis: A story about a little boy who has ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) and PDD-NOS (Pervasive Developmental Disorder – Not Otherwise Specified, also this disorder is on the Autism Spectrum). This little often plays by himself and doesn’t understand why he doesn’t have more friends. His mother explains to the children that he goes to school with that because he has special needs that he is just like them.



You are correct: the query was poor. The opening sentence is a grammatical mess. The second sentence isn't a sentence. The third sentence is missing a word (this little what?). The last sentence is very awkward: you use "that" three times, the last time ungrammatically. (The sentence could be reduced to "His mother tells his schoolmates that he and they all have special needs.")

Rewrite.