One way to ensure I don't want to read a book...

... blurbs are pretty useless in general. It would be so much better in my view if publishers spent that space giving accurate descriptions of what books are about rather than souped-up sales pitches that leave you clueless.

Ken said:

... blurbs are pretty useless in general. It would be so much better in my view if publishers spent that space giving accurate descriptions of what books are about rather than souped-up sales pitches that leave you clueless.

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yep

I find myself so very much not caring about what experiences the author brings to the table before reading the book. If I like what I read, I'll track the author down to be suitably impressed (or not) by them as a person. If I get a book, I'd really like to read the book and not about the author.

Experience the author brings to the table...

Many years ago there was a men's action adventure series about mercenaries in Africa. It was gritty. It was tough. It had sex. Things were going well enough ...

Then the publisher started getting letters. One from Africa, and it went roughly, "Mikey: Thought you were dead. Now we know you aren't we're going to find you, mate." Another was from a solicitor in London: "We believe that [author] is the father of our client's minor child...." And so on.

The editors were ... bemused.

The author was thrilled, because the author was really a pseudonym for a pair of little-old-lady librarians in upper New York State who had never been within a thousand miles of Africa (or London), didn't know any mercenaries, had never served in the military. All they knew how to do was research, and write cracking yarns.

I don't mind that sort of thing in the "About the Author" section, but yeah, not in the blurb. But I do notice if the authors of the Bourne/Bond etc. give a quote on the book. I might take a look if they give glowing comments. (except maybe those deceased ones )

Real life experience doesn't guarantee a good book, since being James Bond has nothing to do with writing well. Keep the creds for queries, I'd say, but I suppose there's a sizeable group of readers who are impressed by a tough guy/insider resume. I also suppose there's a big overlap between this group and the group that reads thrillers. This subset would prize authenticity, a sense of listening to someone in the know, someone who might be whispering secrets under the guise of fiction.

Apart from gleaning an idea of the plot, I ignore cover summaries and testimonials. The first pages of the novel proper are all that count with me.

Ken said:

... blurbs are pretty useless in general. It would be so much better in my view if publishers spent that space giving accurate descriptions of what books are about rather than souped-up sales pitches that leave you clueless.

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I absolutely hate it when I pick up a book in the store, turn it over and see nothing but "Great read" - "Excellent written book" - "The funniest shit I've read in years" on its back ... without a single word of what the book is actually about. If it is a hardcover, I can usually look at the inside of the flapjacket ... but with most paperbacks - not so much luck.

Who in the publishing industry thought this was a good idea?

I agree. I'll actually put a novel back on the bookstore or library shelf if I read nothing but gushy blurbs on the back or jacket cover. I want to know what the book is about. Later, I *might* skim through a group of reviews on Amazon or Goodreads to see if I'd like to read a heavily-blurbed book. Generally, these kinds of covers are for super-popular commercial/thriller authors I don't read anyway.

I'm also not keen on spam emails from publishers about their latest offering, if those books are blurbed the same way. For some reason, YA is getting lots of this marketing treatment right now, and the inundation is actually turning me off reading new YA.

Over-hype: the fastest way to make me not want a book.

I hate it when I read blurbs that tell me how good the books is. "The most exciting thriller of the year," "A heart-stopping rollercoaster ride."

Er, really? Reading this book will make my heart stop beating? I think not.

Whenever I read "From the author of last year's bestselling Shit Your Pants; I'm Coming to Get You, comes the bloodcurdling epic tale of the century, Corr Blimey Mother, the Vicar's Come to Tea," I think, oh piss off and let me make up my own mind how wonderful this book is.

Well...that's if I bother to fight my way through the brainwank to the actual book itself.

Those 'rollercoaster' blurbs are often from publishers playing up the plot, making it seem more shit-your-pants scary than it is.

Dude, it's a book. I know it's not real. It won't make me void my bowels in fear or excitement.

LET. ME. JUDGE. THE DAMN THING.

I love this place. I really, really do.

/hallmark moment

scarletpeaches said:

Dude, it's a book. I know it's not real. It won't make me void my bowels in fear or excitement.

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Now I've never shit myself from reading, but I have been known to yell at a book or spit my drink


But I agree with seun. Who gives a shit if the author is a military personel or my grandmother's rotting corpse, if it's good then I'll follow that author.

scarletpeaches said:

Shit Your Pants; I'm Coming to Get You.

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Great title for a book. I'd pick it up.

Overhyping is a complete turn-off for me. I usually read the first page to see if I want to read more.

Mclesh said:

Great title for a book. I'd pick it up.

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I'd use it, but it's not really sexy enough for my genre.

You can have it if you like.

Thanks, Scarlett. I appreciate the offer. Don't think it would work for the light rom-com I'm working on though.

This could work out for Seun though.

seun said:

Exactly. I couldn't give a monkey's about the author's military history for the book in question. I don't want to know that they're a tough guy. If anything, all that is going to do is give me the impression the MC is nothing but a wish-fulfilment version of the author.

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Heh, exactly. It wouldn't bother me if the author was an 85 year old nun who was just really, really good at research, as long as the book was exciting and felt authentic in the end.

ETA: Has, Just read James McDonald's post, pretty close to that exact scenario. Excellent!

The book still has to be good, but I prefer a writer who has been there, done that. Good research can cover a lot of bare spots, but I don't believe for a second that readers who have also been there and done that can't tell the difference.

If the writer hasn't been there and done that, he needs to talk to those who have, and get it right.

Filigree said:

I agree. I'll actually put a novel back on the bookstore or library shelf if I read nothing but gushy blurbs on the back or jacket cover. I want to know what the book is about. Later, I *might* skim through a group of reviews on Amazon or Goodreads to see if I'd like to read a heavily-blurbed book. Generally, these kinds of covers are for super-popular commercial/thriller authors I don't read anyway.

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Heh. I was about to mention that almost all of Dean R Koontz's paperbacks are that way.

I have a theory based on movie commercials that are similarly formatted. Someone somewhere in the marketing department took a look at the plot and basically went, "Really? Someone thought this would sell? Shit. Okay, so what do I do with this..."

That's heavily simplified, but probably not far from the truth.

I had a recent experience with this, big-name historical writer, boasting on her blurb about how much research she did for new book. It came across as really condescending to other historical writers, as though they don't spend days/weeks in the university library either.

And you know what, I don't care that she had spent an afternoon training as a Roman charioteer. Because the book proved she new sweet FA about Roman espionage, when - guess what - her MC was a spy in Ancient Rome.

What? There's a Roman charioteer school?

Sign me up.

I ignore the blurbs. I ignore the first few pages. I open a book to the middle and start reading there. If that catches my interest, then and only then do I look at the first page. But blurbs? Meh...