View Full Version : Why My Dreams Will Never Be Published...

Escape Artist
02-02-2012, 02:38 AM
I've heard more than a few authors say they gleaned novel ideas from dreams they've had, but I'm pretty sure that my dreams yield nothing even remotely publish-worthy, and here's why:

Dream Example #1: The Drunken Centipede
In this dream, I am at my high-school gym, watching a children's basketball game (Little Dribblers, for those who are familiar with it) while my husband (along with a guy I actually went to high school with and had a mad crush on) is rapt in a cash poker (Texas Hold 'Em style) game going on in a remote corner of the gym. I don't know if the basketball game is particularly depressing or what, but I have a sudden hankering for beer, and as my real self associates the game of poker with beer, I go over to my husband to see if he has any. He does - a five-gallon bucket of beer sits on the ground and I am encouraged to dip a plastic cup in there and have as much beer as I would like. Yay! Except there's a very large, very long hair in the bucket (disgusting!). So here I am, choking and gagging at the thought that I could have swallowed that, when I realize it's not a hair at all. It's a large centipede, and I mean LARGE. Texas size. I barely get the chance to squeal like a girl over this before my kiddos show up - they're begging to go inside the trailer parked outside the gym and I'm all "What trailer?" Why, the traveling beer museum of course! Being the fun mom I am, I agree and they're off. It's much, much later before my poor parenting skills kick in and I start thinking maybe their visiting a traveling beer museum wasn't such a good idea. Suppose they drowned? So I go out there and check it out and turns out, it's not so bad. Not dangerous, anyway. The walls of the trailer are glass and encased inside them is very golden, very frothy beer (yum). I look through the foamy beer and see that on the inside of the trailer itself are various odds and ends that tell the history of beer and the kids are having themselves a grand time as the "curator" shows them around. Okay. All is well and good with the kids, so I go back inside to finish watching the game, only now the beer-and-centipede bucket is in the middle of the court. The bug comes crawling out of the beer, wiggling its antenna, flailing its head around (maybe he was drunk?) and then finally makes it out and onto the basketball court. My son comes to the rescue and kills the thing by repeatedly hammering a basketball onto its head (in real life, my son kills spiders for me - love the little guy!). Dream over. WTF???

Dream Example #2: Rainforest Skeeball
My husband and I are rolling the trash bin to the highway (we have a long, country driveway), enjoying the lush, beautiful greenery all around us. The trees are so tall and the vegetation so thick that we can't see anyone else's property, much less their houses, yet all around us (our property, anyway) is a desert land. This only becomes apparent when we reach the end of our driveway, but we're much too busy looking at the non-electronic, rusted-up skeeball game someone left at the end of our driveway to care very much. Forget the damn drought all around us, we've got to get this skeeball thing polished up! We talk for awhile about how we're going to fix it up, how much the kids will enjoy it and then re-enter our personal rainforest for a quiet afternoon. Oh, did I forget to mention that in this dream, I also had a monkey as a pet and my real self loathes monkeys with a passion?

^I took this dream to mean that I was somehow responsible for the drought we had here recently in Texas. Fellow Texans, please consider this my sincere apology...

Dream Example #3: Pool Shark
In this dream, me and some guy (I have no idea who this dude was. He was not my husband, not a past romantic interest, nothing like that. Just some random dude.) were swimming in an above-ground pool, when suddenly, from out of nowhere it seemed, appeared this man-eating shark. We tried to get away, but there was no ladder, no means of escape. Somehow, though, we got out and were relieved as hell because of course, the shark was now safely contained. But the dude insisted on going back for a look-see, just to see if the shark was still in there. I told him, I TOLD the dude not to go back, but what did he do? He went back. The shark busted the side of the pool open (think Grown-Ups the movie) and then promptly and voraciously gobbled the dude up. Meanwhile, I had a small child in my arms - where the hell did she come from? - and I of course had to shield the child from such a sight, so we ran into the house, only the whole side of the house was open, like a dollhouse, so we could still see the guy being ripped to shreds. And no, I didn't go back for him. I follow the pirate's code.

See what I mean???

If any of you strike upon inspiration while reading these little nuggets of insanity (unlikely), please feel free to take it and run with it. I'll take no offense whatsoever...

By the way, if someone could interpret these dreams for me and tell me what they hell they are supposed to mean, I'd be much obliged, though I'm pretty sure they just mean I'm crazy. Later, guys...

02-02-2012, 03:24 AM
ok, that blue is now burned in mah retinas!

Chris P
02-02-2012, 03:50 AM
My very first published story was a near transcript of a dream, and scenes in other stories come from dreams, so it could happen.

As for interpretation, I think the third dream is a fear of losing your principles and following an unknown danger to a tragic end. The second dream to me seems exciting, like finding money in an old jacket. Perhaps a desire to have new adventures with hubby (and not the guy in the pool). The first dream is just brain junk and if our minds don't get it out of its systems during sleep it will do it while awake. . . which you DO NOT WANT to have happen.

But look the possibilities! The first dream could make a story that takes place at a carnival, with activities for the kids, beer, freakshows, beer, and beer. The second could be done almost literally, but relocated to a modern settlement in South America, and the third could be a monster story taking place at a lake, say Lake Placid (and I do hope that crazy Betty White is your neighbor).

02-02-2012, 03:58 AM
It might sound cliche, but if you do not try, you can never do. Don't give up on your (literal) dreams before you even give them a chance to blossom. If you stop and think about it, I'm sure you'll find a way to create pieces out of one, or all, of them.