Rate-a-Poem: A Dream for Winter

William Haskins · Dec 13, 2005

By Arthur Rimbaud
1854-1891

A Dream for Winter

In the winter, we shall travel in a little pink railway carriage
With blue cushions.
We shall be comfortable. A nest of mad kisses lies in wait
In each soft corner.

You will close your eyes, so as not to see, through the glass,
The evening shadows pulling faces.
Those snarling monsters, a population
Of black devils and black wolves.

Then you'll feel your cheek scratched...
A little kiss, like a crazy spider,
Will run round your neck...

And you'll say to me : "Find it !" bending your head
- And we'll take a long time to find that creature
- Which travels a lot...

edited to add original French version:

L'hiver, nous irons dans un petit wagon rose
Avec des coussins bleus.
Nous serons bien. Un nid de baisers fous repose
Dans chaque coin moelleux.

Tu fermeras l'oeil, pour ne point voir, par la glace,
Grimacer les ombres des soirs,
Ces monstruosités hargneuses, populace
De démons noirs et de loups noirs.

Puis tu te sentiras la joue égratignée...
Un petit baiser, comme une folle araignée,
Te courra par le cou...

Et tu me diras: "Cherche!" en inclinant la tête,
Et nous prendrons du temps à trouver cette bête
Qui voyage beaucoup...

trumancoyote · Dec 13, 2005

This poem is great! To compare a kiss to a skittery spider is something I've never seen -- it's incredibly fresh, and vivid.

This whole poem feels very insular. In spite of being in a rickety ol' carriage, there's silence: these two are in their own little world.

I wish I knew French.

MacAllister · Dec 13, 2005

I loved this, William. Thanks for posting it.

rhymegirl · Dec 14, 2005

This one I like! Nice imagery, very romantic.

Cassie88 · Dec 14, 2005

Beautiful and so, so sweet!

kdnxdr · Dec 14, 2005

So little said and yet, so powerfully provocative, almost puts erotica to shame. Here each reader is enticed to go on their own journey of discovery without sitting through the details of another's experience. The imagination is set free. Thank you for the reminder of what classic romantic/sensational poetry is about.

Sarita · Dec 14, 2005

I loved it in English, but it was even better in French. The "Cherche!" (find it) comes off a bit more frantic, like the whole thing is about to escalate... quite nice.

mkcbunny · Dec 14, 2005

Obviously, the rhyme works in French but not in English. Although I find the English translation evocative, the last line is quite awkward, and I think you need the original there to make it work. Like truman, I thought the spider was a wonderful lineerotic, fun. I gave it a 4.

brokenfingers · Dec 14, 2005

I knew it.

Haskins has syrupy sweet sap running in his veins.... :heart:

I gave it a 4.5

Perks · Dec 14, 2005

I just came in from the cold. My ears are frostbitten and the burn of thawing is making me too aware of my fingers and toes, but this poem wiped that from my mind. So wonderfully sexy, but with the fun emphasized over the smolder. Real attraction doesn't fit (or not for long anyway) within the confines of searing fantasy. This is the way it really feels. How terrific it is to have it captured like that, in a few lines. I think it's great and now I'm in a mood... goodness.

William Haskins · Dec 14, 2005

i'll tell ya, if you like rimbaud, you've earned a special place in my heart.

thanks for the comments everyone.

JAlpha · Dec 14, 2005

kdnxdr said:
So little said and yet, so powerfully provocative, almost puts erotica to shame. Here each reader is enticed to go on their own journey of discovery without sitting through the details of another's experience. The imagination is set free. Thank you for the reminder of what classic romantic/sensational poetry is about.

To expand on what kdnxdr has already said... the second person perspective is very enticing in this piece, especially in conjunction with the use of a "predictive" tense---it's the perfect combination for igniting individual interpretations. I gave it a 4.

rhymegirl · Dec 14, 2005

"i'll tell ya, if you like rimbaud, you've earned a special place in my heart."

Do we get a prize for saying something nice about Rimbaud?

oneovu · Dec 15, 2005

I really like the dark undertones used in this kind of ravenous romantic moment.

The evening shadows pulling faces.
Those snarling monsters, a population
Of black devils and black wolves.

This part felt a little out of the moment, which may be something that is lost in translation or lost in my brain (so possible). Nevertheless, it is still part of the odd tone that appealed to me, so I gave it a 4.

Eveningsdawn · Dec 17, 2005

I love it better in the original french - it's a strange and sensuous poem.

Rate-a-Poem: A Dream for Winter

Rate it below, or expand if no choice applies to you:

5 Stars: A masterpiece

4 Stars: A strong poem, but some elements didn't appeal to me

3 Stars: A good poem, but it didn't move me to any great extent

2 Stars: A flawed or uninspiring piece of work

1 Star: Does absolutely nothing for me

William Haskins

poet

trumancoyote

My Name is Sweet Thing

MacAllister

'Twas but a dream of thee

rhymegirl

It's a New Year!

Cassie88

Make mine a double entendre

kdnxdr

One of the most important people in the world

Sarita

carpe noctem

mkcbunny

Bufflehead

brokenfingers

Walkin' That Road

Perks

delicate #!&@*#! flower

William Haskins

poet

JAlpha

Smilie Fanatic

rhymegirl

It's a New Year!

oneovu

Eveningsdawn

Just Sing.