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aruna
01-12-2012, 05:45 PM
I don't think there is any stereotype I hate more than this one. And I hate the way it's seeping more and more into the popular consciousness that female = shoe obsession.

The other day I was watching Millionaire in Germany and a woman won EUR 16000. So Guenther Jauch asked her what she's going to do with the money. She said she's going to buy a Harry Potter first edition. He didn't like that. "That's not a very womanly choice," he said, hint hint hint, shoe shoe shoe. So of course she added, rather coyly, '... and "of course" I'm going to do some shoe shopping!'

I see this all the time on TV (which I don't watch much, but every time I do the shoe thing seems to crop up. Women boasting how many shoes they have, showing off their shoe cupboard like their shoes are trophies or something, TV presenters saying things like "I bet you'll be spending it all on shoes!' to women, and women agreeing.

When did this nonsense start? I mean, in my day yes, girls liked fashion and beauty too, but there wasn't this idea that the highest goal for the female of the species is to own a room full of useless, expensive shoes!

Was it Imelda Marcos who started it all off? Or was I living under a stone all those years before I caught on to how I 'should' be spending my hard earned cash?

Sorry. Just had to vent.

Wayne K
01-12-2012, 05:48 PM
I blame Rob

Brutal Mustang
01-12-2012, 05:49 PM
When did this nonsense start?

I don't know, and don't understand it either. I own a pair of steel toe boots, a pair of paddock boots with half chaps, and a pair of running shoes. Oh, and flip flops, of course. That's about it.

crunchyblanket
01-12-2012, 05:57 PM
I don't know, and I can't stand it. I couldn't give a shiny shite about shoes as long as they're comfy - I've got arthritis already, I don't need my knees made worse by ludicrously high heels.

It's kind of a self-fulfilling prophecy, though. Popular culture tells women they're supposed to be mad for shoes, you'll get a sizeable proportion of women who'll internalise that message.

aruna
01-12-2012, 06:08 PM
I don't know, and I can't stand it. I couldn't give a shiny shite about shoes as long as they're comfy - I've got arthritis already, I don't need my knees made worse by ludicrously high heels.

It's kind of a self-fulfilling prophecy, though. Popular culture tells women they're supposed to be mad for shoes, you'll get a sizeable proportion of women who'll internalise that message.

Exactly. And then you have so-called celebrities tottering around on ten-inch spikes and everyone thinks they have to follow suit. Consumerism at its best!
Shoes, for me, are for comfort. I basically wear the same pair day after day; at the moment, it's boots. Last summer it was a pair of trainers I've had for years, and which are SO comfortable! And then another pair I can wear with a dress (I do have one dress!) and that's about it.

crunchyblanket
01-12-2012, 06:12 PM
My one footwear indulgence was a pair of hand-stitched cowboy boots. They are the comfiest shoes I own now I've worn them in. Otherwise, I own two pairs of trainers and two pairs of work shoes (I wear one pair to death and replace with the other)

aruna
01-12-2012, 06:16 PM
If I do collect shoes, it's because I can't bear to throw away old pairs that have served me well for years and years, and are so very comfortable -- even if the soles are worn away!

Diana_Rajchel
01-12-2012, 06:17 PM
There is nothing I hated more as a kid than shoe shopping, and as an adult I do it almost exclusively online. For me, it's a bit ironic - I run a fashion blog. A woman I went out for drinks with recently asked me if I owned a lot of shoes. Definitely more than the world average (my job, after all) but still less than the average woman in the US. I consider most badly designed instruments of misogyny, not things I want to spend money on.

dolores haze
01-12-2012, 06:23 PM
When Sex and the City was popular I noticed a lot of women getting on the 'I'm a shoeaholic!' bandwagon. I despised that show with a passion. Forced myself to watch a few episodes. I dunno. Maybe it got better.

Priene
01-12-2012, 06:33 PM
When Sex and the City was popular I noticed a lot of women getting on the 'I'm a shoeaholic!' bandwagon. I despised that show with a passion. Forced myself to watch a few episodes. I dunno. Maybe it got better.

Seconded, on all accounts. I'd never heard anything about women having a particular love of shoes before that dross aired.

backslashbaby
01-12-2012, 06:35 PM
I used to hate shoes (I have genetically deformed toes on both feet, so I'm bound to hate shoes). I got made fun of a little for picking one pair for each situation and only wearing those. But they are a pain, literally.

OTOH, sometime after college I kept finding beautiful shoes that I could wear. Maybe it's because I had more money? Maybe it's just how the styles changed (there are still a ton I can't wear). In any case, I'm not embarrassed now that I can fall in love with certain pairs of boots or whathaveyou. It's not something I'd put top on a list of things about me, but it does no harm :)

I don't usually tie it in to being a woman. That really is silly, I think. I'm pretty sure my brother still cares more about shoes than I do.

aadams73
01-12-2012, 06:37 PM
I like pretty shoes. There was a time when I wore them to work every day. But my passion for them has long since dimmed, and these days I live in my Frye boots.

I didn't even cry when United Airlines lost my Jimmy Choo slingbacks last October. Well, not in public.

FabricatedParadise
01-12-2012, 06:44 PM
I own about 10 pairs of shoes, but mostly because as a mom, student, wife, 20-something woman, gym addict, etc. I have to wear many different hats shoes.

I have exactly 2 pairs of dressy heels -- black for serious, color for fun.

The most expensive pair of shoes I own are my $60 running shoes and that was out of a need for proper shoes to work out in.

I think the shoe obsession is silly.

But then again, I'm sure a woman with a lot of shoes might say the same thing about my 600+ book collection.

Lavern08
01-12-2012, 07:00 PM
My name is Lavern and I have a ton o' shoes. http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/images/icons/icon11.gif

However, I don't own any that I paid over $60 for...

...You see, although I consider myself a fashionista (a girly-girl who lurves clothes and shoes and jewelry and purses, etc.), I always find the deals and the steals.

I agree with Aruna that the "women are obsessed with shoes thing" is gag worthy, but some people love and collect books, music, or whatever, and some women just feel better about themselves when they wear pretty clothes and shoes. :Shrug:

icerose
01-12-2012, 07:09 PM
When I was a kid my parents had to tackle me and force me to wear shoes and with every opportunity they were back off. I'd walk over gravel for short distances before I'd put on shoes.

I'm not a whole lot different today other than my feet can't handle the gravel anymore. I am barefoot as often as I can be and if I ever did pay a lot of money for shoes, it'd be those barefoot feeling shoes so I could walk on the gravel without pain and still feel like I was walking around barefoot.

Maryn
01-12-2012, 07:26 PM
The shoe love goes back at least to my teenage years in the 1960s. And while I don't own a lot of shoes, and no designer shoes at all (poor me, huh?), I totally get it. If I cared more about appearances than I do, there are a lot of amazing shoes I'd want to own (http://pinterest.com/marynb/shoes-and-boots/).

But really, it's not fair to characterize all women by such a shallow stereotype. I care about nail polish colors, too, but I'd rather spend my money on books, music, and travel--each more interesting to talk about, too.

Maryn, who got new boots not long ago

leahzero
01-12-2012, 07:41 PM
Never got this either. I own one pair of shoes and one pair of boots. But then, I also don't own a single dress, skirt, or sleeveless top. *shrug*

My female friends, who are all fellow geeks/nerds with geeky/nerdy interests and hobbies, are similar. Though I do think I'm at the extreme, as most of them tend to own a few dresses/skirts with shoes to match.

thethinker42
01-12-2012, 07:47 PM
I haaaate shoe shopping. The only reason I own more than five or six pairs of shoes is because I have four pairs of riding boots (different styles required for different disciplines).

That said, I *will* spend a pretty good chunk of money on a pair of shoes. $150 for a pair of dress shoes or steel-toed boots, maybe up to $200. Reason being, there is nothing worse than an uncomfortable pair of shoes, one with no support, etc. I'm willing to pay through the nose for a pair that will last years and won't hurt my knees/feet/back. I once bought a pair of work boots for some obscene price, but they lasted almost ten years. I bought another rather pricey pair of dress shoes when I was working in retail. At the end of the day -- after buying them on my lunch break and breaking them in at work -- my feet didn't hurt. Even after some 12-hour days, my feet didn't hurt. Those shoes were worth their weight in gold.

So...yeah, I'll pay for comfort and durability, but beyond that? I'd rather lick a cheese grater than go shoe shopping.

jjdebenedictis
01-12-2012, 08:32 PM
I can understand a person getting obsessed with shoes, but only because I can understand human beings getting obsessed with things that are beautiful and exquisitely designed, like shoes, or motorcycles, or porcelain dolls, or decorative knives.

When I was in university and making my own experimental apparatus in the machine shop, I loved the shiny little machines I crafted. It was so satisfying to look at this intricate, glittery thing you made that also was beautifully designed for its purpose. And that reaction certainly wasn't tied to me being female; the guys in the lab photographed and swooned over their hand-crafted apparatuses too.

I agree it's a sexist stereotype to say women get obsessed about shoes, but the impulse to love something for its beauty and clever design is pretty normal human behaviour.

All the same, my brain balks at anyone spending a thousand dollars on a pair of shoes that will hurt. Display it in your house as artwork, sure, but to wear?!

scarletpeaches
01-12-2012, 08:35 PM
I don't think I've ever owned more than ten pairs of shoes at one time, but of those, I wear two or three regularly, and the others are kept for special occasions, i.e. hardly ever.

Toothpaste
01-12-2012, 08:41 PM
I hate shoe shopping. It's my absolute least favourite kind of shopping. Finding a pair of shoes that are actually comfortable seems like an impossible task.

At the same time, I like attractive things, be it a painting, a dress, shoes, a building etc.

I guess for me while I hate the notion that all women are obsessed with shoes, I also hate the backlash, that women who AREN'T obsessed with shoes sometimes display. That if you are a woman who likes attractive items of clothing, who DOES own more than one dress and dressy tops etc, that that makes you more superficial and less intelligent or cool or whatever.

I think as women we need to stop judging each other based on our choices, especially such superficial ones, and at the same time be wary about what the media is trying to conform us to. It's not just the popular trends that affect people, but the attitudes in response to it as well. For years I was proud not to enjoy shopping (for anything), and I thought that made me superior to the flaky girls who were all about looks and not about substance. But that changed as I grew older. I still don't much like shopping (I'm not good in crowds), but I like clothes, I like looking nice, I like coming up with cool outfits. And I denied that part of myself for so long for fear it would make me seem less intelligent or feminist or whatever.

Let's try to change all generalisations - not just the ones we don't like - so yes "All women like shoes" ought to be changed, but so should the attitude that "women who like shoes are superficial and flaky".

Lavern08
01-12-2012, 08:45 PM
^ Best post evah!

aruna
01-12-2012, 08:47 PM
Toothpaste, I agree with you and it was not my intention to put down women who DO like clothes, shoes and so on. In fact, my daughter LOVES nice clothes, shoes, bags and so on, and she is anything but flaky and shallow. She is an example of how it is possible to have that balance between caring about your appearance and wearing nice things, and still care and be concerned bout more serious matters.

It's the all pervading cliche that gets on my nerves -- and the mindless consumerism that drive it, and the showing off -- look how many shoes I have!
Equally -- look how few shoes I have! which is far less pervasive, but exists all the same.

CaroGirl
01-12-2012, 08:50 PM
I don't care much about shoes. My feet used to be considered on the large side and I traditionally couldn't find the "cute" shoes in my size. So I lost interest. My size has since fallen within the norm but I still don't care much about shoes.

That said, I live in an extreme climate and I need a variety of shoes and boots to cope with it. None of the ones I own are particularly stylish, however. All are practical.

I don't care much about what other women spend their money on but I'd prefer not to labelled with the "shoe obsession" simply because I'm a woman.

Lavern08
01-12-2012, 08:50 PM
Aruna,

We knew you meant no offense, Sweet Pea. :Hug2:

Elaine Margarett
01-12-2012, 08:52 PM
I'll take it one step further and say it's the whole "All women love to shop!" stereotype I rail against.

I only shop when I have to. I never window shop (what's the point?) and I hate all those silly commercials that show vapid women acting like it's the second coming when they score a good deal. Really?

I want to scream at the TV, get a life for goodness sakes!

And then there's those store jingles/catchphrases. "It's all inside!" "Shop Happy!"

Makes me shake my head.

mirandashell
01-12-2012, 10:08 PM
I also hate shopping and I thank the internet for enabling me not to shop.

Toothpaste
01-12-2012, 10:56 PM
Oh I know that wasn't your intention Aruna, and I highly doubt it was the intention of others as well. It was a general observation, inspired by the conversation in this thread but not necessarily directly linked to what a particular person said.

For the record, I hate such generalisations too, but I hate most generalisations - and especially about women as that's something very personal obviously to me. The one I hate the most is "women are crazy, men are stupid" - it's so insulting to both genders, and dismissive and . . . grr it makes me mad!

rhymegirl
01-12-2012, 11:08 PM
Aruna, I agree with you.

I only own a few pairs of shoes. And the ones I own are very comfortable shoes.

I prefer wearing slippers (even more comfortable).

What I hated at Christmastime was the CONSTANT jewelry commercials on TV. "Buy your woman a diamond so she'll know you love her."

Oh really? That's what it takes, huh?

I'm not a big jewelry fan either.

thethinker42
01-12-2012, 11:17 PM
What I hated at Christmastime was the CONSTANT jewelry commercials on TV. "Buy your woman a diamond so she'll know you love her."

Oh really? That's what it takes, huh?

I'm not a big jewelry fan either.

One of several moments when I knew I HAD to get out of working in retail jewelry: when I overheard a co-worker say to a customer who was trying to decide between two pieces, "The question you have to ask yourself is, do you love her $2,000, or do you love her $5,000?"

:Wha: I was SO in the wrong business.

Lavern08
01-12-2012, 11:24 PM
What I hated at Christmastime was the CONSTANT jewelry commercials on TV. "Buy your woman a diamond so she'll know you love her."

I hate those commercials (during the Christmas holiday) that show the Lexus parked outside with that big, red bow on top of it. :rant:

I mean seriously. Do you know how many pairs of shoes I could buy with $50,000? :D

crunchyblanket
01-12-2012, 11:52 PM
I hate those commercials (during the Christmas holiday) that show the Lexus parked outside with that big, red bow on top of it. :rant:

I mean seriously. Do you know how many pairs of shoes I could buy with $50,000? :D

Nice, sensible Birkenstocks, I hope ;)

WriteMinded
01-13-2012, 01:13 AM
I hate spending money on shoes and I really hate how much you have to spend on them. I have only what I need to get by. The "dress" pair (for funerals and weddings) are getting pretty shabby, but I have no plan to replace them - ever.

Zelenka
01-13-2012, 01:18 AM
I'll hold my hand up to being a very big shopaholic, especially jewellery and anything with sequins in general. Shoes, not so much though. Basically I think I have weird shaped feet or something because very few shoes, flat or heels, actually fit me and let me walk without tearing my skin off. Plus I do walking tours so I usually just wear something that's comfortable for wandering on cobbles for three hours plus at a time.

That said, much though I love my shinies, I hate those commercials for the diamonds as well. This nonsense that women are so shallow that all it takes to win them over is something shiny, or that you've got no chance with your girl unless you spend big. I just find that offensive. Are women not capable of liking someone for a reason other than money?

aadams73
01-13-2012, 01:21 AM
One of several moments when I knew I HAD to get out of working in retail jewelry: when I overheard a co-worker say to a customer who was trying to decide between two pieces, "The question you have to ask yourself is, do you love her $2,000, or do you love her $5,000?"

I don't know where I'd even wear something that cost that much--or if I could wear it. My most expensive piece of jewelry cost less than a thousand dollars, I'm sure. And my favorite pieces are worth much less than that. Actually, I have a pair of earrings that I love to death and that I've been complimented on often, and they're completely fake. I know this because I paid a whopping $12 for them. :D

Meh. If a guy loves me (and I love him) he doesn't need to buy me. He's already got me! :D

thethinker42
01-13-2012, 01:23 AM
I don't know where I'd even wear something that cost that much--or if I could wear it. My most expensive piece of jewelry cost less than a thousand dollars, I'm sure. And my favorite pieces are worth much less than that. Actually, I have a pair of earrings that I love to death and that I've been complimented on often, and they're completely fake. I know this because I paid a whopping $12 for them. :D

Meh. If a guy loves me (and I love him) he doesn't need to buy me. He's already got me! :D

Exactly. I'm not a big jewelry fan anyway, but the idea of buying my affection/love just bugs me. Half the time, I don't even wear my real wedding ring...I have a silver band I bought for like $20 in Japan that I wear in its place because I'm always afraid of knocking the diamond off my engagement ring. I couldn't imagine wearing something that cost thousands of dollars!

Devil Ledbetter
01-13-2012, 01:45 AM
She said she's going to buy a Harry Potter first edition. He didn't like that. "That's not a very womanly choice," he said, hint hint hint, shoe shoe shoe. That's a common sociological phenomenon known as gender policing. Whenever someone is "corrected" for expressing something that doesn't fit the code prescribed to their gender, it's gender policing.


When did this nonsense start? I was about to say it started with Candice Bushnell, but Dolores Haze beat me to it.


When Sex and the City was popular I noticed a lot of women getting on the 'I'm a shoeaholic!' bandwagon.
No doubt the shoe thing was around before that (as Aruna mentioned, Imelda Marcos was infamous for it). But Sex and the City kicked it into high gear and made it into the go-to cliche of women's interests. Unfortunately.

As a writer, what I really hate to see is these ridiculously expensive designer shoes being named-dropped by characters who could never afford them. At least Bushnell's Carrie had to makes some painful financial trade-offs for her shoe obsession.

As for me, I'm a hardcore fan of Dr. Marten boots. I hate shopping for reasons similar to Toothepaste's: I have something a claustrophobic response to aimlessly milling crowds.

aadams73
01-13-2012, 01:46 AM
Exactly. I'm not a big jewelry fan anyway, but the idea of buying my affection/love just bugs me. Half the time, I don't even wear my real wedding ring...I have a silver band I bought for like $20 in Japan that I wear in its place because I'm always afraid of knocking the diamond off my engagement ring. I couldn't imagine wearing something that cost thousands of dollars!

I stopped wearing mine when the dog was a puppy; she'd bite everything, including my rings. Then I stopped being married, anyway. :D

aadams73
01-13-2012, 02:01 AM
I'll take it one step further and say it's the whole "All women love to shop!" stereotype I rail against.


I love shopping for other people, and I enjoy shopping with my boyfriend for company, but otherwise I run in, grab what I need, and run back out.

My sister, on the other hand, lists shopping as her favorite sport. She visited me in the US from Australia a few years ago, and we wound up at one mall or another almost every day...for six weeks! After she went home, I didn't go near the mall for nearly a year.

crunchyblanket
01-13-2012, 02:56 AM
I don't know where I'd even wear something that cost that much--or if I could wear it. My most expensive piece of jewelry cost less than a thousand dollars, I'm sure. And my favorite pieces are worth much less than that. Actually, I have a pair of earrings that I love to death and that I've been complimented on often, and they're completely fake. I know this because I paid a whopping $12 for them. :D

Meh. If a guy loves me (and I love him) he doesn't need to buy me. He's already got me! :D

My engagement ring cost £20. It's beautiful; I wear it on a chain because I'm afraid of damaging it.

BeatrixKiddo
01-13-2012, 03:19 AM
There is something about a nice set of heels. However, my lower back won't allow me to wear them for any length of time so I can only look at them longingly if I see a pair I like on display somewhere.

I suppose if I could afford it and my back could handle them, I'd develop a tiny shoe addiction. I do like 6 inch platform heels and the way they look.

But honestly, my budget keeps me wearing one pair of comfortable, back friendly, ugly shoes to work every day.
I also have a pair for walking, and a few other casual pairs but that's about it.

I refuse to spend too much on shoes though, even if I had the money. Anything over $100 dollars for shoes is ridiculous.

I get tired of stereotypes too but I suppose they exist because some of them are true to a certain extent for some women.

I liked your post on the topic.

aadams73
01-13-2012, 03:26 AM
My engagement ring cost £20. It's beautiful; I wear it on a chain because I'm afraid of damaging it.

I have a fake engagement ring I often wore as jerk repellent. It's pretty hard to tell the difference, unless you've got an eye for that kind of thing (I really don't).

poetinahat
01-13-2012, 03:35 AM
Here's a idea - no more "women and shopping/shoes" stereotypes, and no more "guys and cars/strip clubs" stereotypes. Have we got a deal? Thanks!

KellyAssauer
01-13-2012, 04:09 AM
Here's a idea - no more "women and shopping/shoes" stereotypes, and no more "guys and cars/strip clubs" stereotypes. Have we got a deal? Thanks!

Only after you tell me... How do you drive in those? :D


If I had the money, I'd have a few more pair, but as it is, I get by on what I have and maybe a new pair of NewBalance once a year...

GailD
01-13-2012, 04:31 AM
Here's a idea - no more "women and shopping/shoes" stereotypes, and no more "guys and cars/strip clubs" stereotypes. Have we got a deal? Thanks!


http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTWJzUsBmbgDuMKbBdURuc7WrobW_Dum 1GBJjjrkn4gSplExXZb

Deal!

Alessandra Kelley
01-13-2012, 06:46 AM
I don't much like buying shoes. My feet are the tiniest bit wider than average, and most women's shoes are made in one width, which is too narrow for me. I will not wear uncomfortable shoes, which for me includes any heels 2 inches or higher.

I don't understand the stereotype of women loving shoe shopping. But maybe it's because the world of pretty shoes is not made for people like me.

Actually, I'd like to make shoes. I have ideas for ones that I'm sure would be pretty as well as comfortable (two things which seem mutually exclusive in shoe design). Unfortunately, as it turns out, it's a really specialised skill, not one that it's easy to do in a home workshop. Sigh. So I occasionally design these weird shoes and leave it at that.

Cliff Face
01-13-2012, 10:52 AM
I like shoes, to some extent.

Of course, it seems that you're not allowed to wear attractive shoes if you have a penis. Honestly, I don't think this stereotype of women = shoe crazy would last very long if men had access to a wider variety of shoes.

Or, y'know, the world could step gender policing, and not even have the "this is a woman's shoe and that's a man's shoe" thing. (Fat chance!) Come on - there's even different sizing for the different genders!

*throws hands in the air*

Fuck it, I'll just wear gothic stomper boots in every situation. That'll show that big faceless society who's boss!

...

Back on topic though, I own 3 pairs of shoes.

1. I have a pair of dress shoes for work. I'm currently on pair 4 or 5 in a 5 month period, because I buy cheap ones. I'm not about to spend $200 on work shoes when I don't know I'll even have a job come February (I'm a Christmas worker at the moment).

2. I have a pair of joggers. These I spent more money on, because I tend to live in them (except at home where I'm barefoot).

3. I have a pair of thongs (flip flops) that I bought up at dad's place because he has a pool and the pavers outside were burning my feet a few summers ago when I was getting in/out the pool. These have lasted me a long time, and I wear them when I'm just popping down to the petrol station for whatever and don't feel like putting on socks.

But I do like shoes...

aruna
01-13-2012, 11:01 AM
Aruna, I agree with you.


I'm not a big jewelry fan either.

I don't wear ANY jewellery. Not even a wedding ring (I don't have one). I hate the feel of stuff around my neck, in my ears, on my arms etc. I don't even wear a watch!




I don't know where I'd even wear something that cost that much--
Meh. If a guy loves me (and I love him) he doesn't need to buy me. He's already got me! :D

A hundred times, this!


I don't much like buying shoes. My feet are the tiniest bit wider than average, and most women's shoes are made in one width, which is too narrow for me. I will not wear uncomfortable shoes, which for me includes any heels 2 inches or higher.

I don't understand the stereotype of women loving shoe shopping. But maybe it's because the world of pretty shoes is not made for people like me.

Actually, I'd like to make shoes. I have ideas for ones that I'm sure would be pretty as well as comfortable (two things which seem mutually exclusive in shoe design). Unfortunately, as it turns out, it's a really specialised skill, not one that it's easy to do in a home workshop. Sigh. So I occasionally design these weird shoes and leave it at that.

I have very wide feet, a result probably of going barefoot a lot when I was younger. So I couldn't wear the latest fashions anyway. Those pointy-tipped shoes that were/are so much in trend -- the very sight of them hurts me!

backslashbaby
01-13-2012, 11:07 AM
My brother is able to show a shoe thing because he does all kinds of different X sports (like skateboarding, snowboarding, skydiving, etc, etc). The boy is always buying new, super expensive shoes. Those sports are his job, so it's not frivolous, see ;) :D ?

Don't get me started on the special underwear. :D

aruna
01-13-2012, 11:18 AM
One of the very dodgy -- and damaging -- expressions that have edged themselves into common parlance i the ridiculous term 'retail therapy'. Maybe it started out as a a joke, but now it seems that people really take it seriously -- that if you're feeling down you just go out and do some shopping, spend lots of money -- and hey presto, you're healed!

Cliff Face
01-13-2012, 11:28 AM
Well, I will admit that I give myself retail therapy sometimes.

Not in the "psychiatric therapy" sense of the word. But I do love shopping. It's like eating chocolate if you're sad - it does improve my mood a bit. (Although for me, shopping is better than chocolate.)

I don't spend a lot, however. I first started "retail therapy" shopping when I was dirt poor, so I'd pretty much just window shop, or buy heavily discounted items if I knew I could afford them. It wasn't frivolous purchases (except for maybe more food and drink than was necessary) because those items are still in my collections (generally books, CDs and DVDs) and have brought me countless hours of enjoyment, and will bring more in the future.

I'm definitely a bargain hunter. I hardly ever pay full price for anything.

To me, "retail therapy" is simply an acknowledgement that I enjoy shopping. It's not so bad (for me at least - I can't speak for others) because I know if you are in a bad state, enjoyment can help in a myriad of ways.

But buying expensive items won't suddenly cure a mood disorder or whatever. I understand that.

aruna
01-13-2012, 12:03 PM
People do lots of things to lift an unhappy mood -- but lifting a mood is not the same as therapy; nothing is actually 'healed'. It's another case of pop culture usurping a serious word and frivolously distorting its meaning.

Cliff Face
01-13-2012, 03:44 PM
Well, yes, I can agree with that.

But if there is no cure, then lifting a mood is the next best thing. My point is simply that if you enjoy shopping, and are smart about it, then the "practice" of retail therapy can be a very good thing, even if the "terminology" is flawed and invites misuse.

aadams73
01-13-2012, 05:28 PM
I don't wear ANY jewellery. Not even a wedding ring (I don't have one). I hate the feel of stuff around my neck, in my ears, on my arms etc. I don't even wear a watch!


It's funny how things change. Years ago I went to work--and even school!--laden down like a pack mule with jewelry.

Now, I occasionally wear a necklace (usually in summer) and/or earrings if we're going out, but that's it.

I'm not sure how things changed, or when, only that they did. Maybe I need to wear more, because it can feel nice and girly.

Perks
01-13-2012, 05:38 PM
I don't wear ANY jewellery. Not even a wedding ring (I don't have one). I hate the feel of stuff around my neck, in my ears, on my arms etc. I don't even wear a watch!
Huh. I'm exactly the same way, except I do wear my wedding ring and one other ring when I go out, but they come off first thing once I'm home. I can't even wear a watch, because I constantly feel it. People say they can't feel their jewelry after a few minutes, but I always can.

It's difficult, because I love jewelry. I'm half magpie. But I simply can't stand wearing it.

Priene
01-13-2012, 05:41 PM
The top of this page is showing an advertisement for a 70% off ladies' boot sale.

Elaine Margarett
01-13-2012, 06:13 PM
The top of this page is showing an advertisement for a 70% off ladies' boot sale.

LOL. Yeah, I was thinking the same thing.

I too can't/won't wear jewelry. I hate the feel of it, and the difficulty of never being able to find that matching earing. I have a beautiful wedding band/engagement ring combo that I lost two diamonds from. It's put away as a keepsake (for whom I'm not sure). Hubby bought me a plain gold band to replace it. It's the only jewelry I wear.

Occasionally someone will buy me jewelry for a gift. I thank them and put it aside. Maybe my grandchildren will want it some day.

Devil Ledbetter
01-13-2012, 06:26 PM
otherwise I run in, grab what I need, and run back out. I call this surgical strike shopping.



Fuck it, I'll just wear gothic stomper boots in every situation. That'll show that big faceless society who's boss!
That's pretty much what I do. Wearing these today:

http://www.shoes.com/ProductImages/shoes_iaec1176383.jpg

emmyshimmy
01-13-2012, 06:36 PM
Those are possibly the coolest boots I've ever seen, grats on amazing taste :)

Alessandra Kelley
01-13-2012, 06:43 PM
They're beautiful, but I hate those zippers up the inside of boots. They're always ripping holes in my tights. Why can't they put the zippers on the outside if they must have them? Or better yet, just let us lace up all those lovely laces. Zippers can't be that necessary.

Devil Ledbetter
01-13-2012, 06:59 PM
They're beautiful, but I hate those zippers up the inside of boots. They're always ripping holes in my tights. Why can't they put the zippers on the outside if they must have them? Or better yet, just let us lace up all those lovely laces. Zippers can't be that necessary.The zippers on these have a wide, smooth gusset. I usually wear them with jeans, but I don't think they would rip tights.

I'm really glad they have zippers or I'd be spending half my life lacing them.

crunchyblanket
01-13-2012, 07:03 PM
I only wear jewellery in my piercings, and my wedding ring. Not keen on jewellery otherwise, it kind of gets in the way for me.

Devil, those are great shoes. DM's are some of the only shoes I'd ever spend a lot of money on because they last forever. I've only recently had to throw away a pair I've had for 10 years (ruined them at a festival...)

Devil Ledbetter
01-13-2012, 07:17 PM
Devil, those are great shoes. Doc's are some of the only shoes I'd ever spend a lot of money on because they last forever. I've only recently had to throw away a pair I've had for 10 years (ruined them at a festival...)Thanks. I feel the same way about DM's. They aren't cheap but they are a fantastic value. They break in super comfortable and last forever.

ETA: What festival? I go to Bonnaroo every year, but it's much too hot for Doc's there.

crunchyblanket
01-13-2012, 07:23 PM
ETA: What festival? I go to Bonnaroo every year, but it's much too hot for Doc's there.


Reading, in August. There was mud everywhere, I've never been to a festival like it. They were on their last legs anyway, but all that mud tipped them over the edge. I'm treating myself to a new pair when I get paid, so I'll be sorted for the next 10 years :D

Lavern08
01-13-2012, 07:33 PM
Hmmmm,

I was gonna say shopping is therapy for me, until I saw that "retail therapy" statement - I'd never heard that terminology before. :Shrug:

Maybe it's just me, but if I'm feeling a bit down, just buying a bottle of nail polish or a pair of earrings (inexpensive costume jewelry) lifts my spirits and brightens my day. :Sun:

Snowstorm
01-13-2012, 09:21 PM
I think the shoe obsession is silly.

But then again, I'm sure a woman with a lot of shoes might say the same thing about my 600+ book collection.

But, but, having 600+ books makes sense! :Hail:

Ari Meermans
01-13-2012, 10:09 PM
My name is Ariella Meermans, and I'm a shoe-aholic. My husband's nickname for me is "Imelda"; but, in my defense, I cannot part with any of my shoesósome of which date to the eightiesóbecause it's hard to find good/nice shoes in my size. I wear a children's size 2 or a women's size 3 1/2, sometimes a size 4 (if they're still comfortable "stuffed" with insoles). When I can find a pair that I like and that fit, I buy at least 2 pair.

I am also a bookaholic. Sagging shelves all over my house attest to this. A friend once told me that, if there was a 12-step program for this, I'd be kicked out for donating books to other members and making further reading recommendations.

Still, I tend to look on such things as personal idiosyncrasies and and am pretty well sick and tired of women being stereotyped as shopaholics, shoe-aholics and the like. If someone is going to put a label on me, call me a collector. Evidently, and from what I've heard, that's what Mr. Meermans is--a tool collector. Even though he only uses about half of the tools he owns and, apparently, doesn't know what the other half are used for. :ROFL:

rhymegirl
01-14-2012, 04:05 AM
Huh. I'm exactly the same way, except I do wear my wedding ring and one other ring when I go out, but they come off first thing once I'm home. I can't even wear a watch, because I constantly feel it. People say they can't feel their jewelry after a few minutes, but I always can.

I hear ya. The only piece of jewelry I wear is my wedding ring. I never take it off. It has become part of my finger.

I only wear a necklace for special occasions. I have no other rings.

I remember years ago when I was dating this guy and he said, "I really like it that you don't wear all those gaudy rings some girls wear."

I don't wear a watch either. I figure if I need to know what time it is I can look at my cell phone.

Cliff Face
01-14-2012, 04:22 AM
I don't like wearing rings, but I wear a watch constantly, and I have several necklaces.

KellyAssauer
01-14-2012, 04:38 AM
If I had the extra funds, you would probably find me here (http://ironfistshoes.net/).

(Sharing that, almost hurts)