Giving up a baby for adoption without revealing yourself?

pinkrobot · Jan 10, 2012

Would I be able to realistically incorporate this idea into a story, and if so, how?:

-At 7 years old, a girl goes missing and is never found; her family accepts that she's dead, but the reality is that she's been kidnapped and given a new identity by her kidnapper
-At age 18, this girl gives birth in her home to a son, fathered by her kidnapper; they give the son up for adoption without giving up the real identity of the girl

I'm not very educated on how the adoption system works. Would it be possible to give the baby up for adoption without revealing who the mother is? If not, is it possible the mother could somehow use a false identity in the process?

waylander · Jan 10, 2012

Where is this taking place?

IceCreamEmpress · Jan 10, 2012

And when?

And how much of a paper trail has been created for the new false identity?

If the kidnapper has posed as the kidnappee's parent or guardian, and there is a reasonable paper trail to support that (false birth certificate, etc.), it's unlikely that anyone would dig deeper. The general presumption is that people presenting identity documents are doing so honestly.

Drachen Jager · Jan 10, 2012

I know here there is a 'drop off' at most hospitals for unwanted infants. There is a padded drawer the baby is placed in, the parents drive away and two minutes later an alarm goes off at the nurse's station to let them know a baby is there.

Most cities have something similar to help prevent infanticide (which is more common than you might think).

pinkrobot · Jan 10, 2012

Present day, United States. Not sure about the paper trail, as I'm not sure how you go about creating a false identity for someone...that's what I'm trying to find out.

Dannica · Jan 10, 2012

I think if it's supposed to be set in the U.S. today, that I'd go with the idea above and do an anonymous dropoff at a hospital. I'd never heard of such a thing. Learn something new every day.

escritora · Jan 10, 2012

If you decide to go the drop off route, look up the safe-haven law in the state your story takes place.

jclarkdawe · Jan 10, 2012

Take a look at Safe-haven law - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

All states have a version of the safe-haven law. As well as the hospital, fire departments and ambulance services can be used (tending to be easier for many to get to and viewed as being friendlier). As Drachen says, states want to reduce infanticide, and they also would like to help the health of the birth mom.

Procedurally, each baby is specifically identified by the time and place of the abandonment, so that if the birth parents show up again, the baby can be identified. The father's rights are a major issue in these cases, but it has not been litigated. (Ohio was strictly determined on the issue of failing to follow the appropriate procedure for notification of the parents pending the lost of their parental rights.) Other then that issue, it happens frequently enough that anyone involved in hospital newborn care and officers in the fire department are aware of the procedures.

Best of luck,

Jim Clark-Dawe

pinkrobot · Jan 10, 2012

jclarkdawe said:
Take a look at Safe-haven law - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

All states have a version of the safe-haven law. As well as the hospital, fire departments and ambulance services can be used (tending to be easier for many to get to and viewed as being friendlier). As Drachen says, states want to reduce infanticide, and they also would like to help the health of the birth mom.

Procedurally, each baby is specifically identified by the time and place of the abandonment, so that if the birth parents show up again, the baby can be identified. The father's rights are a major issue in these cases, but it has not been litigated. (Ohio was strictly determined on the issue of failing to follow the appropriate procedure for notification of the parents pending the lost of their parental rights.) Other then that issue, it happens frequently enough that anyone involved in hospital newborn care and officers in the fire department are aware of the procedures.

Best of luck,

Jim Clark-Dawe

Perfect! This is exactly the answer I needed. I never knew there were such laws or that people actually did abandon their newborns (yes, I'm a little naive). But this will work perfectly for the story I have in mind. Thank you all for your help!

McMich · Jan 10, 2012

just to add- while you might not have heard about it, it is advertised all over the place here that you can drop off a child at any hospital or fire department with no questions asked- it is on the TV and the radio in ohio, so it is likely that lots of readers will have heard about this option.

Filmfeline · Jan 10, 2012

you scared the heck out of me with the post. I thought you're doing this yourself and for a second I forgot we write here.
Mil. of kids are sold into the sex trade all over the world. The Johns are usually upstanding citizens, so if I were you and I go 'there' I would be a responsible author and make sure I set an example where the Johns are caught, punished and taught a lesson. I know we're not a bunch of Miss America contestants here, but I think every author almost owes it to humanity to turn the world toward the better with their writing. It's easy to reflect life and create fiction that way. The world is so fucked up that fiction is almost reality now. It's harder to make the world a better place, but carefully considering what you write about and how you handle it. As for personalities there's a fab. book by Harold Bloom on the 'bile' of man. I'm drawing a blank on the name now, I read this years ago.

Devil Ledbetter · Jan 10, 2012

Filmfeline said:
Ok I think- having watched enough Law and Order SVU

I hope anyone seeking story research knows that fictional TV programs are a lousy place to start.

Filmfeline said:
The Johns are usually upstanding citizens, so if I were you and I go 'there' I would be a responsible author and make sure I set an example where the Johns are caught, punished and taught a lesson. I know we're not a bunch of Miss America contestants here, but I think every author almost owes it to humanity to turn the world toward the better with their writing.

Nope. All we owe the world is a great story. That's it. Leave the world-bettering lectures and heavy handed morality plays to harpy boors.

Not that you'll be back to read this, Filmfeline.

Filmfeline · Jan 10, 2012

No, I read it.

shaldna · Jan 11, 2012

Sometimes you still get babies here left on doorsteps, or there have been several cases lately where mothers have walked out of hospital after giving birth and left the baby behind.

Filmfeline said:
The Johns are usually upstanding citizens, so if I were you and I go 'there' I would be a responsible author and make sure I set an example where the Johns are caught, punished and taught a lesson. I know we're not a bunch of Miss America contestants here, but I think every author almost owes it to humanity to turn the world toward the better with their writing.

All the writer owes the world is a good story. No one wants to be preached at, or to have someone else's morals forced on them.

Devil Ledbetter said:
Nope. All we owe the world is a great story. That's it. Leave the world-bettering lectures and heavy handed morality plays to harpy boors.

Exactly.

pinkrobot · Jan 11, 2012

Filmfeline said:
Mil. of kids are sold into the sex trade all over the world. The Johns are usually upstanding citizens, so if I were you and I go 'there' I would be a responsible author and make sure I set an example where the Johns are caught, punished and taught a lesson.

Not only am I shooting for a good story rather than a lesson in morality, but if you recall, the character who gives up the baby has been held captive by her abductor for eleven years. I hardly think she deserves to be punished for abandoning her baby at a safe haven.

Rachel77 · Jan 11, 2012

There was an incident a few weeks ago in Philadelphia where an infant was found abandoned in a box in front of a church. Googling "baby noel philadelphia" returns a ton of stories about it.

Sea Witch · Jan 11, 2012

pinkrobot said:
Not only am I shooting for a good story rather than a lesson in morality, but if you recall, the character who gives up the baby has been held captive by her abductor for eleven years. I hardly think she deserves to be punished for abandoning her baby at a safe haven.

The whole reason for the "safe haven" laws is to protect both the mother and child. It's gives the mother immunity from prosecution and give the baby safety and a chance at life.

Filmfeline · Jan 12, 2012

shaldna said:
All the writer owes the world is a good story. No one wants to be preached at, or to have someone else's morals forced on them.

That's why the world is the way it is. If you're okay with the way it is, then of course, you are correct.

shaldna · Jan 12, 2012

Filmfeline said:
That's why the world is the way it is. If you're okay with the way it is, then of course, you are correct.

I'm not sure you realise how your tone is coming across here. I (or any other writer) am not responsible for the way the world is, and I dislike your suggestion otherwise.

Do you seriously think we, as writers, should only write stories that have a sound moral grounding, where good triumphs and the bad guy always gets what's coming to them?

As I said, no one likes to be preached at, which is what you are doing here now.

Sea Witch · Jan 12, 2012

shaldna said:
I'm not sure you realise how your tone is coming across here. I (or any other writer) am not responsible for the way the world is, and I dislike your suggestion otherwise.

Do you seriously think we, as writers, should only write stories that have a sound moral grounding, where good triumphs and the bad guy always gets what's coming to them?

As I said, no one likes to be preached at, which is what you are doing here now.

+1
If people want to change the world, they can write editorials in newspapers on public policy or run for public office. Novelists are just trying to write a good story.

pinkrobot · Jan 12, 2012

Filmfeline said:
That's why the world is the way it is. If you're okay with the way it is, then of course, you are correct.

The world is the way it is because not all writers choose to write stories embedded with moral lessons? I'm pretty sure I could come up with at least a hundred things that precede writing on the list of things that have corrupted the world.

Personally, I'm pleased that this forum helped shed some light on a way that my innocent character, held captive for almost her whole life, was able to give her baby a better life without consequences. I think the fact that there are resources that aim to prevent infanticide and unsafe child abandonment is a pretty darn good moral idea to convey in a story.

KatieJ · Jan 12, 2012

Filmfeline said:
you scared the heck out of me with the post. I thought you're doing this yourself and for a second I forgot we write here.

You know, a lot of people misread items, think to themselves... what?!? did she just say what I think she said??? THEN they reread the item to themselves and don't post a lecture. You forgot we write here?

Filmfeline said:
Mil. of kids are sold into the sex trade all over the world. The Johns are usually upstanding citizens, so if I were you and I go 'there' I would be a responsible author and make sure I set an example where the Johns are caught, punished and taught a lesson. I know we're not a bunch of Miss America contestants here, but I think every author almost owes it to humanity to turn the world toward the better with their writing. It's easy to reflect life and create fiction that way. The world is so fucked up that fiction is almost reality now. It's harder to make the world a better place, but carefully considering what you write about and how you handle it.

Could I suggest that if you stopped yourself for just a few minutes, read things carefully and tried to figure out how what you say will be received, you might get more of your message across. You obviously have a lot of strongly held (if absurd in my opinion) sociopolitical stances, most of which don't belong here. (Again, my opinion.)

Filmfeline said:
As for personalities there's a fab. book by Harold Bloom on the 'bile' of man. I'm drawing a blank on the name now, I read this years ago.

You aren't doing yourself any favors here. If you could just stop for a moment, go to another tab on your internet browser and look it up, you wouldn't appear to be so fatuous.

Drachen Jager · Jan 12, 2012

shaldna said:
As I said, no one likes to be preached at, which is what you are doing here now.

That statement is absolutely false.

First off, many, many people go to churches and pay to be preached at, without even the context of a good yarn.

Secondly, all good novels have a moral perspective. You may not see it, but that is the nature of great and the value of a novel. In fact in the beginnings of the novel as a literary form it was not widely accepted until it was pointed out that there was a moral and intellectual value to the form.

You may choose not to write with any philosophical, ethical or moral undertones, but you will never be great writing that way. And honestly, I think even if you tried your hardest you couldn't help but insert some of your own moral attitudes into your work. The fact that you're blind to something does not mean it's nonexistent, and it certainly doesn't give you the right to come down hard on someone else who believes writing can change the world for the better.

Devil Ledbetter · Jan 12, 2012

KatieJ said:
Originally Posted by Filmfeline
As for personalities there's a fab. book by Harold Bloom on the 'bile' of man. I'm drawing a blank on the name now, I read this years ago.

Click to expand...

If you could just stop for a moment, go to another tab on your internet browser and look it up, you wouldn't appear to be so fatuous.

Well, not just that, but there is the issue of what the OP was seeking vs. one's personal agenda to consider. The OP asked for a plausible solution to a plot problem (how to give the baby up for adoption anonymously). It was a good question, and Jclarkdawe supplied a good answer ("Safe Haven" laws). Further, the OP expressed her satisfaction with that solution.

So what is the point of declaring that the OP owes the world a story that will improve the morality of mankind?

Or, to paraphrase Tina Turner, what's Harold Bloom got to do, got to do with it?

KatieJ · Jan 12, 2012

Devil Ledbetter said:
So what is the point of declaring that the OP owes the world a story that will improve the morality of mankind?

Which was my point #2. You probably said it more succinctly. And melodically.

Drachen, if I'm reading you correctly, you are right that it would be near impossible to have written something without it being touched by your own moral perspective. That said - isn't there a difference between being "preached at" and being preached to in a church? Doesn't "preach at" in the way Shaldna used it imply moralizing and lecturing?

I apologize, this topic has evolved from what the OP asked. I don't know if there is a procedure for moving it.

KatieJ

Giving up a baby for adoption without revealing yourself?

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