View Full Version : Liar

12-14-2011, 05:58 AM
So, I have this friend of nearly thirty years. She's told me every now and then she's written a book, but whenever I ask to read said book, she somehow can't give it to me to read for whatever reason. Mmmkay. Once she told me she sent it to an agent (all in a dressed up pretty box and on pretty paper) and got accepted right away. Even got a publisher to offer her $100,000 for said manuscript. Cool. But she could never show me proof, and then proceeded to tell me she denied the offer because the publisher wanted her to kill someone or whatever in her book and she couldn't do it. Okay, whatever. Tonight someone posted something on Facebook, and she mentioned in the post that she has written several books, and the person said she should publish them, then she says she doesn't publish them, or rather "they" (whatever she meant by "they") won't publish her books. Then I wrote, "you have?", in reference to her having written several books. She hasn't answered me.:Shrug: She likes to make up bullshit for attention, always has. We've been friends for a long time, I've dealt with this for as long. I've just learned to ignore it. I guess the reason to post is to get it out of my system.

I can't be the only one out there with a friend who makes up bull and tries to feed it to everyone as truth, just for attention, am I?

Rolling Thunder
12-14-2011, 06:01 AM
Maybe she just takes the words 'fiction writer' literally.

12-14-2011, 06:04 AM
I can't really reply right now; I have Anne Hathaway and Nicole Kidman over for a wild time tonight.


"Hey! Stop nibbling on my ear, Anne!"

Devil Ledbetter
12-14-2011, 06:09 AM
I know people like that but refuse to be friends with them.

Here is what happens when you call a pathological liar out on her BS: she will make up even bigger lies and when that doesn't fly she'll have an enormous shit fit, scream, sob, accuse and make you out to be the bad guy. It can be quite entertaining or quite frustrating, depending on how you feel about the person.

Personally I have no time for liars.

12-14-2011, 06:26 AM
Let me ask a question?

You claim to be her friend. Okay, what does it matter to you what she post on twitter so long as it is not about you or harms anyone?

If it truely bothers you, then perhaps it is time just to close the book on this friendship and move on before it gets ugly...

12-14-2011, 10:19 AM
Did it ever occur to you that maybe it's an invisible book? Those are hard to write you know. She has to find another book and a magical wand to wave over it with exactly the right spell so that the brilliant books she's written will suddenly reappear. She must have lost the wand and just needs time to find it again. Invisible books are such a pain. Always getting lost and such, you know? :D

12-14-2011, 10:22 AM
Yeah, that's the ticket!

12-14-2011, 02:08 PM
I've dumped all friends like that. Really, I can't take the drama. I witnessed something a while back online where a girl made up a whole alternative existence and I knew it wasn't true. So weird. I don't get what kind of kick you get from that.

12-14-2011, 04:06 PM
No you are not the only one who has a friend like that. Have you tried playing trumps with her? She says she has written a book - you trump her by saying you have written two. She says an agent wants her work - you say that three agents came to blows over who would get your work. She was offered $100,000? Nah - you were offered $250,000! Her book is being published? So is yours AND the screen play has been sold to Universal and it is going to be filmed next year! Turn it into a game - out boast her. She might get tired of it, but think of the fun you will have!

12-14-2011, 04:17 PM
The only person I've ever known like that (past the age of 10 :D ) was/is a scary, scary psycopath. In my case, you really don't want to show her up (or she'll show you, later). It might be kind of funny if it were just the lying. No? Well, funnier, anyway ;)

12-14-2011, 06:08 PM
"Lots of people want to have writtern; but they don't want to write." - Elizabeth George, Write Away

Devil Ledbetter
12-14-2011, 06:22 PM
"Lots of people want to have writtern; but they don't want to write." - Elizabeth George, Write Away That was my ex-husband. He told me he'd written his autobiography, a "book," way back when we were dating. He'd never show it to me though he always insisted he'd written it.

Flash forward 5 years, after I'd divorced him (mainly because he was a pathological liar and would turn physically abusive when I called him out on his lying). I was cleaning out crap he'd left behind in the basement and came across two or three pages of scribbled notes that were clearly the "autobiography" he'd been claiming.


12-14-2011, 06:29 PM
People like this have problems beyond the lying. You can accept this aspect of her personality and stay friends, or you can end the friendship. Calling her out, trying to embarrass her, or one-up-man-ship will not work.

12-14-2011, 06:31 PM
you should direct your friend to publish america.--s6

Devil Ledbetter
12-14-2011, 06:50 PM
People like this have problems beyond the lying. You can accept this aspect of her personality and stay friends, or you can end the friendship. Calling her out, trying to embarrass her, or one-up-man-ship will not work.Very true. Pathological liars cannot tolerate questioning and react terribly to it as soon as the realize they've failed to convince you.

If you question a non-liar they will just ask why you don't believe them, then either shrug or provide better proof. If you question a pathological liar, they will begin by making excuses as to why they can't provide proof, then segue into a stance of being horribly offended that you didn't believe them, then react like they're crushed and it's all your fault for landing the terrible blow of disbelieving them, and generally end the discussion by trying to top you over with an emotional storm. It's really about as ugly as noncriminal behavior can get.

Aside from my ex, I have a niece who does this. She can lie her ass off, but if you call her out on it you are the worst person on the planet, trying to ruin her life and so on. Any questioning of her tall tales results in fits of shrieking, crying, counter-accusations and threats that can go on for hours.

This is how these folks train their friends and family never to question their bullshit, and to just pretend to believe it for the sake of keeping the peace.

you should direct your friend to publish america.--s6I was thinking the same thing.

12-14-2011, 11:18 PM
I wrote a book once. It got published, oh, 10 years ago. Or had. Well, you see, there was this time when publishers didn't rely on agents, so you could communicate with the publisher at the very least through a letter (I have the letter with me here somewhere. . . .) Well, now, that all changed 10 years ago when the agents were introduced. Contract negotiations were suddenly brought up and I had to have this intermediary agent to represent me. So, electing to not risk any further forfeiture of the contract, I went searching for an agent and an intellectual property lawyer. See, I understood that changing the terms of the contract on such an ad hoc basis, with no means of negotiation or abritration meant that I could receive a handsome sum. Anyways, I was approaching many agents with this dilemma brought before me, or between me and the publisher. None would bite until one agent agreed that he would take it and represent me, but there were strings attached. I waited out to hear what the strings were and they were very reasonable. Basically, he wanted me to arrange an option contract with calls on any subscriptions for the royalties and puts on the option released by the publisher and said that this required an underwriter as such contracts had to be insured against failure of delivery (which was not held responsible by either the publisher nor the delivery company.) Meanwhile, my negotiations with the intellectual property lawyer fell, but I was able to arrange another option contract on the contingency fee, whereby I had the ability to control the rate (within reason) on the delivery of the fee with further put options for the subscriptions on the lump-sum award. This all required insurance, so an underwriter was called. The first underwriter had written a clause that any further insurance requirements between the two parties (the publisher and I) would necessitate verification of my credit scores and insurance against the insurance. I agreed to this, so I went with it. The credit agency's fee was another sizable sum, so I decided to enter a simple forward contract but even the fee for that was pricey, so we agreed that insurance was the only option to go. The insurance agency realised that they were agreeing into a no-exit contract cycle, so agreed that the premium and the check fee would have a 1% discount, and so the cycle eventually got us to have a finite number of agreements. By this time, I needed to find storage for all these contracts, so my lawyer agreed to provide storage for those contracts through an intermediary document storage facility, and again the fees resulted in another cycle with the lawyer, the underwriter and the credit check agency. Eventually we got that sorted out and we were allowed to go to trial. The case was dismissed and was asked to pay the costs for the trial, but to my fortune with the contract, I not only paid my lawyer but also got the other person's share, even though the money got delivered to them. Anyways, I have my money but the contract was still in question. With the trial, the contract was cancelled, but I still had those options - so I exercised the options and the rest of the remaining value of the contract. But boy, can I tell you! This is a brave new world. Having agents step in made things unfeasible. This letter here from the agent (no, you can't read it,) is his apology for the contract and the whole relationship falling. It's the publisher who was the idiot. I mean seriously? Using agents. I gave the book wrapped in a gold-lined sarcophagus. Do they not appreciate that extra care. Lacking wastrels!

12-15-2011, 02:05 AM
There have been times I've asked myself why I'm still friends with her. There have been many times in our thirty years where we hadn't spoke with one another for years. Life gets in the way, or she found "better" friends and ignored me. But for whatever reason, I keep being friends with her, though we aren't as close as we used to be. Maybe I'm a glutton for punishment? We live 200 miles apart now, so really we only see each other on the occasions where I head up to Michigan to visit family and friends, and that's only once or twice a year. It used to be I would always make time to see her, but not anymore, because when I did she was always too busy to see me except for maybe a half an hour. If she wants to see me, I let her know when I'm in the area a week or two ahead of time and let her come to me. If I'm important enough, then she'll take a few minutes of her time to see me, if not, then oh well.

She did however ask if I would like to read the first chapter of one of her books. I said yes, and she tried sending it but for some reason I can't open the file. I have asked her to read the first chapter of my novel some time ago, it's not very long, but whenever I ask her about whether she's read it she gives me the, oh, I've been too busy to read it, story. May do the same to her out of spite. She's not the only one though to give me that excuse when I ask them if they've read my first chapter, so I no longer ask anyone to read my stuff anymore.