Cats just love to make you feel like the worst person in the world when you're trying to help them.

My parents cat, the dim but lovable Zeus, has been having some skin problems. They had got bad enough to go to the vets. As my mum is busy, and my dad can't get around easily without help, I was drafted in on this perilous quest.

Get the cat to the vet.

When I got there, my parents had already struggled him into the carrier. Dad was bleeding. Mum was sulking upstairs. We had an appointment at 12:10. It was 11:15. From the carrier came the most pathetic mews I've ever heard. Carefully pitched to tug at the heartstrings.

Ten minutes later he started to try and claw his way out. Like I said. Not very bright. Mewing all the while.
"mew"
*clawclawclaw*
"mew"
*carrier shakes*
"meeeeeew"

It was quite hard to ignore. At this point I started feeling dreadful.

Finally, we had to walk him down to the vet. I picked him up, and god, the noise he started making. I talked to him, tried to calm him down. The closer to the vets the more stressful the noise. Eventually this happened.

"Mew."
"I'm sorry. It's for your own good."
"Meeeew."
"I know. I'm dreadful."
"Mreeeeewooooooorrrrrrr!"
"That's right, Zeus, I am worse than Hitler, are you happy now?"
"... mreeeeew."
Me and dad got some strange looks.

In the vets itself he was silent. We think he slipped into a panicked fugue state, because when you looked at him he was this flattened-eared, wide-eyed picture of misery.

The vet pulled him out of the carrier to look at him. He went fairly easily. I think he was just glad to be out. As she manhandled him he looked at me and dad with eyes that said 'why. why do you hate me, human?". The vet decided to give him a couple of injections- some antibiotics as he had a minor infection in one of the bits he'd been scratching at and some steroids- so dad had to hold him down.

He just sat there, watching me. As the injections went in he made sure to flinch. If he could have made tears flow at will he would have.

Back in the carrier, pay £75 to the vets (owch) on the way home he slips out of the fugue state again.

"Meew."
"Oh god, just shut up."
"Meeeeeeew."
"We're going home now."
"Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewrrrrroooooow."
"I wish I were dead, so I didn't have to hear your pathetic face noise."
"Mew."

He kept winning these conversations of ours.

We let him out at home, and he promptly gave us the most pathetic face I've seen on an animal outside of RSPCA adverts and stalked off. He made sure to let us know that the expensive and awkward trip to make him better was not appreciated and he had better get pampered for it.

The manipulative little shit.

I think it's worse for him in a lot of ways. He was an abandoned kitty- dumped in a cardboard carrier in our back garden in winter three years ago- and I think somewhere in his thick little head he remembers that.

As if we'd abandon him, the sweetheart. We just don't want him to have sore, itchy, oozy patches where the fur is thinning any more.

Lyra Jean said:

aw poor kitty. that does explain a lot.

Click to expand...

Yeah. The vet said they thought he'd been in there three or four days before we found him and one more would have killed him. He's a very lucky kitty we went out back and decided to throw that box away... and realised there was weight in it.

We think that's why he's so greedy, too, poor boy.

Still doesn't excuse that over the top, manipulative display earlier!

Oh. by the way. Here he is.

Damn right he does. I wish me and Jos could have kept him when we found him, but our lease doesn't allow pets. And he's good company for my dad.