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Wicked
12-05-2011, 11:05 PM
I dislike creating threads without a good reason, but this struck a chord with me. (and I didn't see it posted anywhere with a quick search)

My bug geek buddies were passing this link around on FB.
http://www.carlkingdom.com/10-myths-about-introverts


Damn. I've been pegged. Number one was particularly accurate. :roll:

tjwriter
12-05-2011, 11:10 PM
Deliciously accurate. I loved it. I may have to text the link to my husband.

Susan Littlefield
12-05-2011, 11:16 PM
So cute...from another introvert.

Try to get me in front of a crowd. I do talk a lot, thought, but only when I feel completely comfortable with someone. Interestingly enough, the universe has matched me with the worlds' most extroverted person. :D

Wicked
12-05-2011, 11:19 PM
So cute...from another introvert.

Try to get me in front of a crowd. I do talk a lot, thought, but only when I feel completely comfortable with someone. Interestingly enough, the universe has matched me with the worlds' most extroverted person. :D


Yeah, I married a social butterfly too. Weird how that works out.

TJ- Do it. I should post it to my hubby's FB wall, and say, "See? See? I don't need medication or reeducation, I'm supposed to be this way." :ROFL:

Jehhillenberg
12-05-2011, 11:22 PM
OMFG. Where are those mythbusters? I loved that list. Very factual.

INFP here. :)

Ari Meermans
12-06-2011, 12:39 AM
Yep.

KellyAssauer
12-06-2011, 12:58 AM
Nailed it and me - and I'd comment further but my inner world is much more stimulating and rewarding to me. So bye. :e2tongue:

Wicked
12-06-2011, 01:00 AM
and I'd comment further but my inner world is much more stimulating and rewarding to me. So bye. :e2tongue:


:roll:

Pheasant_Plucker
12-06-2011, 01:02 AM
That was great.

Spent a loooooooooooooong time feeling a bit weird about my introverted traits.... but the older I get, the more comfortable I am in my own skin. I am even starting to relish being the way I am (bizarre to admit).

Hope the same is true for others.

Jehhillenberg
12-06-2011, 01:17 AM
Welcome, Pheasant_Plucker :)


Nailed it and me -

:ROFL:

KellyAssauer
12-06-2011, 01:23 AM
My SO asked me to a dinner party last month - the gall!

But I agreed because I suppose I really do need to get out more... so I spent most of the evening sitting alone in the host's living room waiting to leave. My SO asked why I sat there most of the night and I had to confess I'd never been to a dinner party and had no idea what to do. They said: You talk to people.
I asked: About what?
They said: You know, small talk.
I said: Small talk is stupid.

I'm guess I'm still very weird about my traits. I don't like them. I get very depressed about them, and the more I'm pressed, the angrier I get. It's like some kind of vicious circle.

DL Hegel
12-06-2011, 01:25 AM
I am too busy hiding under my bed to become an extrovert. Get back to me next week.

Devil Ledbetter
12-06-2011, 01:34 AM
Myth #1 Ė Introverts donít like to talk.
This is not true. Introverts just donít talk unless they have something to say. They hate small talk. Get an introvert talking about something they are interested in, and they wonít shut up for days.
And days. This is me 100%.

tjwriter
12-06-2011, 01:44 AM
And days. This is me 100%.
Exactly. I can rattle on for a very long time, if I feel comfortable.

But one day of hard social interaction with keep my social needs fulfilled for a very long time. I can fake it when need be, but that drains me rapidly.

Jehhillenberg
12-06-2011, 01:52 AM
Yes, it is very draining and in fact, I do need my alone time or down time to recharge.

cray
12-06-2011, 01:54 AM
:hi: HI EVERYONE!!!!!

Wicked
12-06-2011, 01:58 AM
Hi, Cray. :D :Hug2:

swachski
12-06-2011, 01:59 AM
Wicked, I want to hug you for posting that link! (myth#11 - introverts don't like to hug)

They hate small talk.= me
They donít interact for the sake of interacting. = me
They want everyone to just be real and honest. = me
Introverts intensely value the few friends they have. = me
recharging is absolutely crucial for Introverts. = me
They think a lot. They daydream. = me
They donít make most decisions based on what is popular or trendy. = me
Introverts are people who primarily look inward, paying close attention to their thoughts and emotions. = me
Introverts typically relax at home or in nature, not in busy public places. = me

I also HATE it when people are discussing introvert/extrovert personalities, and you get the feeling the extroverts feel sorry for you!

This thread makes me proud to be among a select few. :)

KellyAssauer
12-06-2011, 01:59 AM
:hi: HI EVERYONE!!!!!

*checks rule book to see when we're allowed to shoot extroverts*

Jersey Chick
12-06-2011, 02:11 AM
Count me in. One year, at my in-laws Christmas party, one of my MIL's friends kept telling people that I don't talk because I'm shy. Finally, I'd had enough and told her that I talk when I have something to say. It has nothing to do with shy and all to do with not chattering just because I can.

And I am also married to a super-extrovert. One who doesn't get how anyone can NOT want to be the center of attention. We've been together almost 20 years and he still doesn't quite get it. :D

Cliff Face
12-06-2011, 02:28 AM
:)

Ambrosia
12-06-2011, 02:49 AM
Why do we do that, marry extreme extroverts? My marriage is over, all but the court crap. I really need to figure out how not to do that to myself again.

Extreme introvert here, and happy to have such an interesting inner world. :D

toogrey2
12-06-2011, 02:51 AM
OMG there are people like me!

Archerbird
12-06-2011, 02:58 AM
What is the difference between introvert and extrovert?
I'm only asking because I'm curious of peoples opinions.

KellyAssauer
12-06-2011, 03:03 AM
Why do we do that, marry extreme extroverts?

They fascinate me... they really do.

I do not understand them. They are like an alien race and sometimes when my SO tells stories about themselves...
I'm shocked, stunned, and yet I can't tear away. It's almost as if I can 'have a life' somehow vicariously through them.

Of course, what they don't know (sssssh!) is that I write it all down when they're not looking. I have enough material now to write a dozen novels! :D

Oopsy. I'll be quiet now.

Wicked
12-06-2011, 03:26 AM
Hubby and I are a perfect match when we have a common goal, or obstacle to overcome. Our differences mesh then. It's when things aren't putting us under fire that we start to rub on each other like sandpaper.

I think we work because I have some extroverted tendencies, but only for short periods of time.
A friend once told me I was the most social anti-social person she had ever met. :tongue

LOL I like to listen to this song before I have to go out and mingle with other human beings when I don't feel like mingling.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gy8HPSIFXEM&feature=relmfu

Jehhillenberg
12-06-2011, 03:31 AM
I really like that Seether song, Wicked. Man! *transports to other thread*

Yaayyy more Introverts!!

Yeah, extroverts fascinate me as well. :) What is it they say about opposites?

Wicked
12-06-2011, 03:34 AM
:) What is it they say about opposites?


They attract. :e2kissy:

Jehhillenberg
12-06-2011, 03:37 AM
:Thumbs:

rhymegirl
12-06-2011, 03:44 AM
I'm not sure if I'm an introvert or an extrovert.

I like being with people sometimes. But then again I'm not comfortable in crowds.

I'm more of an extrovert than my husband. He is perfectly content to sit on the couch all weekend but I can't do that without going stir crazy.

Yasaibatake
12-06-2011, 03:45 AM
*raises hand* Yup, that list was spot on, so count me in too...as if I needed more proof I'm an introvert...

Wicked
12-06-2011, 03:49 AM
I'm not sure if I'm an introvert or an extrovert.


I think introvert and extrovert are usually referenced in the extreme sense, when there is all manner of cross-over and variation in between.

In my case, I can become physically ill and withdrawn for days if I've overextended my social coping skills. Especially if I have a negative encounter. I would fall into the extreme end of that sliding scale.

Jehhillenberg
12-06-2011, 03:51 AM
http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes1.htm

M. Chandler
12-06-2011, 03:57 AM
And of course my introverted ways extend to message boards just like this one, where I don't want to post unless I have something valid to add to the discussion. I can't participate in chat threads at all! Sometimes I force myself to stop lurking and say something, but it's a big day when I post more than once or twice.

It'll be a while before I get my post count up. :tongue

rhymegirl
12-06-2011, 04:00 AM
I think introvert and extrovert are usually referenced in the extreme sense, when there is all manner of cross-over and variation in between.

Yes, I think this is true.

I did agree with what that link you referenced said about introverts being able to count their friends on one hand. I only have 2 close friends. And if you add my sisters to that--5 close friends.

I prefer quality to quantity. I only want to hang out with people who are funny, smart, and interesting.

KellyAssauer
12-06-2011, 04:01 AM
"In fact, one study (Silverman, 1986) showed that the percentage of Introverts increases with IQ."

That's the nicest thing a complete stranger has said about me a long time. *sniff*

Tepelus
12-06-2011, 04:54 AM
*Steps into the thread, and sits in the most quiet corner, all by herself.*

Wicked
12-06-2011, 05:04 AM
Hello to all you lurkers who came down out of the attic. :D

:hi: :welcome:

Ambrosia
12-06-2011, 05:19 AM
http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes1.htm

Interestingly enough, I took the complete Myer's Briggs and scored a strong INFP. On this online test, which I took on a whim, I scored INFJ. It seems either the online test is not accurate, or my personality type has changed. I still feel like me. :tongue

tjwriter
12-06-2011, 05:38 AM
I am an INFJ. I would consider that an accurate description.

Devil Ledbetter
12-06-2011, 06:12 AM
Exactly. I can rattle on for a very long time, if I feel comfortable.

But one day of hard social interaction with keep my social needs fulfilled for a very long time. I can fake it when need be, but that drains me rapidly.


Yes, it is very draining and in fact, I do need my alone time or down time to recharge.All this time I thought there was something wrong with me because I feel completely empty and worthless and hated by all after a party. Any party does this to me, even with my own family. Even though I've talked to people.

You mean that feeling is normal? I'm really not the only person who feels this way?:cry: Thank you!

Jehhillenberg
12-06-2011, 06:28 AM
Hello to all you lurkers who came down out of the attic. :D

:hi: :welcome:

:roll:


Interestingly enough, I took the complete Myer's Briggs and scored a strong INFP. On this online test, which I took on a whim, I scored INFJ. It seems either the online test is not accurate, or my personality type has changed. I still feel like me. :tongue

I'm an INFP through and out. I've taken quite a bit. I've accepted it and embrace it now.


All this time I thought there was something wrong with me because I feel completely empty and worthless and hated by all after a party. Any party does this to me, even with my own family. Even though I've talked to people.

You mean that feeling is normal? I'm really not the only person who feels this way?:cry: Thank you!

What a great feeling. To...to belong. :Clap:

bettielee
12-06-2011, 06:36 AM
Myth #1 – Introverts don’t like to talk.

I don't like to talk.

Myth #2 – Introverts are shy.

I am horrifically shy

Myth #3 – Introverts are rude.
Introverts often don’t see a reason for beating around the bush with social pleasantries. They want everyone to just be real and honest. Unfortunately, this is not acceptable in most settings, so Introverts can feel a lot of pressure to fit in, which they find exhausting.

This I agree with

Myth #4 – Introverts don’t like people.
On the contrary, Introverts intensely value the few friends they have. They can count their close friends on one hand. If you are lucky enough for an introvert to consider you a friend, you probably have a loyal ally for life. Once you have earned their respect as being a person of substance, you’re in.

yes, but other than the few friends I have, I really don't like people

Myth #5 – Introverts don’t like to go out in public.
Nonsense. Introverts just don’t like to go out in public FOR AS LONG. They also like to avoid the complications that are involved in public activities. They take in data and experiences very quickly, and as a result, don’t need to be there for long to “get it.” They’re ready to go home, recharge, and process it all. In fact, recharging is absolutely crucial for Introverts.

Ok. I guess. I agree with the bolded part. But I also consider myself quasi-agoraphobic (self-diagnosis) because I see going out as a huge freaking chore. And I hate it. And I don't like going to new places.

Myth #6 – Introverts always want to be alone.
Introverts are perfectly comfortable with their own thoughts. They think a lot. They daydream. They like to have problems to work on, puzzles to solve. But they can also get incredibly lonely if they don’t have anyone to share their discoveries with. They crave an authentic and sincere connection with ONE PERSON at a time.

This I agree with

Myth #7 – Introverts are weird.

I am weird.

Myth #8 – Introverts are aloof nerds.
Introverts are people who primarily look inward, paying close attention to their thoughts and emotions. It’s not that they are incapable of paying attention to what is going on around them, it’s just that their inner world is much more stimulating and rewarding to them.

Yesss

Myth #9 – Introverts don’t know how to relax and have fun.
Introverts typically relax at home or in nature, not in busy public places. Introverts are not thrill seekers and adrenaline junkies. If there is too much talking and noise going on, they shut down. Their brains are too sensitive to the neurotransmitter called Dopamine. Introverts and Extroverts have different dominant neuro-pathways. Just look it up.

yes

Myth #10 – Introverts can fix themselves and become Extroverts.

ok, that last paragraph - I completely agree with. I can not be fixed.

But... because I disagree with so much of what this said, does that mean I'm not an introvert... I'm just socially retarded???

Devil Ledbetter
12-06-2011, 06:37 AM
What a great feeling. To...to belong. :Clap:I'm going to try to remember this Christmas night when I come home from my parent's house feeling wretched and alone. What's weird about this is, I have a great family and we all get along quite nicely. I would consider my sisters and parents some of the best friends I have. Yet put us all together, with all the grandkids and spouses and hangers-on, (yes, our family has hangers-on; we're a little like the Royal Tennenbaums) and I'll feel numb inside by the time I escape.

bettielee
12-06-2011, 06:42 AM
ok, if I can point out another thing, purple prose aside. I sometimes feel like a loser, or like I haven't had a real "life" because I've never married or had kids (never wanted to) and I don't own a business... I've never been anywhere...

But I'm not depressed (like my family thinks) I'm just living an internal life. I don't feel like my life is out.... out there! It's in here. It's in me. I have my stories and elaborate fantasies that go on endlessly in my head. I've always been rather disgusted with the attitude that you have to go out and sow your wild oats and be a promiscuous pot smoking basejumper for a few years in college in order to really "live life". My life has always been internal, inside my own head.

Is anyone else like that? Or should I start ducking the rotten tomatoes now?

Wicked
12-06-2011, 07:10 AM
Myth #7 Ė Introverts are weird.

I am weird.

Embrace the weird. We own weird. We make weird look good. :D



But... because I disagree with so much of what this said, does that mean I'm not an introvert... I'm just socially retarded???

No, it just means you're a slightly different type of introvert than the person who wrote the article. Until I saw this one, all the others read to me like this one reads to you.
Yes.
No.
Sort of.
Partially.
I didn't line up with those particular introverted personalities. It still left me feeling like an outsider among outsiders.

Hiroko
12-06-2011, 07:17 AM
I think I've read that post before...Don't remember when, though.

Oh, I'm not just an introvert...but yeah, extroverts are puzzling to me. I'd like to know another introvert sometime...

bettielee
12-06-2011, 08:46 AM
Embrace the weird. We own weird. We make weird look good. :D




No, it just means you're a slightly different type of introvert than the person who wrote the article. Until I saw this one, all the others read to me like this one reads to you.
Yes.
No.
Sort of.
Partially.
I didn't line up with those particular introverted personalities. It still left me feeling like an outsider among outsiders.

ok... then I'm not so weird, I guess. :)

Ari Meermans
12-06-2011, 10:14 AM
ok... then I'm not so weird, I guess. :)

Nope. :Hug2:

Satsya
12-06-2011, 02:21 PM
*happy flail* I always like reminders that being an introvert is not so strange and lonely.

The worst part about being an introvert is that it's difficult to integrate into new communities and make new friends. Unfortunately, that's a pretty big negative in today's connected world.

There is one phenomenon I'm curious about: I've noticed that many introverts are more outgoing on the internet than in face-to-face interactions. Is this true in general? I tend to be shy on the internet and more outgoing (though often quiet) in face-to-face interactions, myself.

Cliff Face
12-06-2011, 02:35 PM
I live completely in my head, Bettie. There's nothing wrong with living an internal life. You don't have to be a pot-smoking basejumper just because other people think it's fun.

I honestly don't understand how people can live so externally... It's so foreign to me.

Like, I read books about theories, I think at every opportunity, I don't make small talk, I don't get out of the house unless I need something...

The exception to this rule is shopping. I think I love having things so much that I've come to love shopping on general principle.

I get pleasure out of shopping. And I do "people watch" from time to time.

Anyway, you're not alone. And keep this in mind: some of the smartest people in history lived in their own private world.

tjwriter
12-06-2011, 06:12 PM
ok, if I can point out another thing, purple prose aside. I sometimes feel like a loser, or like I haven't had a real "life" because I've never married or had kids (never wanted to) and I don't own a business... I've never been anywhere...

But I'm not depressed (like my family thinks) I'm just living an internal life. I don't feel like my life is out.... out there! It's in here. It's in me. I have my stories and elaborate fantasies that go on endlessly in my head. I've always been rather disgusted with the attitude that you have to go out and sow your wild oats and be a promiscuous pot smoking basejumper for a few years in college in order to really "live life". My life has always been internal, inside my own head.

Is anyone else like that? Or should I start ducking the rotten tomatoes now?

If you are happy where you are at, screw everyone else and their preconceived notions. Your desires =/= their desires. Nor do they have to.


*happy flail* I always like reminders that being an introvert is not so strange and lonely.

The worst part about being an introvert is that it's difficult to integrate into new communities and make new friends. Unfortunately, that's a pretty big negative in today's connected world.

There is one phenomenon I'm curious about: I've noticed that many introverts are more outgoing on the internet than in face-to-face interactions. Is this true in general? I tend to be shy on the internet and more outgoing (though often quiet) in face-to-face interactions, myself.

I think a signifcant part of that is that the internet makes it easier to find like-minded people. Not to mention that many of us feel more comfortable in writing. And it's easier to walk away should you become overwhelmed.

Maramoser
12-06-2011, 06:51 PM
They take in data and experiences very quickly, and as a result, donít need to be there for long to ďget it.Ē

College and my college-related jobs have made me more extroverted (think being put down for a shift where you are supposed to do absolutely nothing but small talk for 5 hours at a time). But I identify with the quote above very strongly. I think this is part of the reason why study groups tend to infuriate me. :P

RemusShepherd
12-06-2011, 07:01 PM
My bug geek buddies were passing this link around on FB.
http://www.carlkingdom.com/10-myths-about-introverts
Damn. I've been pegged. Number one was particularly accurate. :roll:

Huh. Most of those myths are true about me. Maybe I'm not an introvert -- maybe I'm just a misanthrope.

tjwriter
12-06-2011, 07:05 PM
It's probably one of those NOT ALL introverts are like that.

Ambrosia
12-06-2011, 07:33 PM
The real difference between introverts and extroverts is how they "recharge". An introvert needs to turn inside to recharge and an extrovert needs to turn outside themselves--to other people--to recharge. So you can find introverts out in the public doing things you would only expect of an extrovert. But at some point, the introvert has to retreat and have alone time to recharge their energy or they will implode.

Implosions are not pretty. :D

Jehhillenberg
12-06-2011, 08:24 PM
But I'm not depressed (like my family thinks) I'm just living an internal life. I don't feel like my life is out.... out there! It's in here. It's in me. I have my stories and elaborate fantasies that go on endlessly in my head. I've always been rather disgusted with the attitude that you have to go out and sow your wild oats and be a promiscuous pot smoking basejumper for a few years in college in order to really "live life". My life has always been internal, inside my own head.

Nothing wrong with that, bettielee. There are plenty of people out there like this -- like right here! Hmm. No wonder we love writing stories so.


*happy flail* I always like reminders that being an introvert is not so strange and lonely.

The worst part about being an introvert is that it's difficult to integrate into new communities and make new friends. Unfortunately, that's a pretty big negative in today's connected world.

There is one phenomenon I'm curious about: I've noticed that many introverts are more outgoing on the internet than in face-to-face interactions. Is this true in general? I tend to be shy on the internet and more outgoing (though often quiet) in face-to-face interactions, myself.

Yeah but with today's world, it's so much easier to connect with other people -- if you want to. I think the anonymity factor helps that too. Although the web's a place to be whoever you wanna be and pretty much make up crap...I'm pretty much an open honest book. (oops) :D

Yeah I don't like dealing with people a lot of the time just because I don't feel like it (often that's misconstrued, as you all understand), but when I'm in the mood -- I love meeting new people in person and striking up conversations, cracking jokes or whatever. It also depends on the vibe I get from others.


The real difference between introverts and extroverts is how they "recharge". But at some point, the introvert has to retreat and have alone time to recharge their energy or they will implode.

Implosions are not pretty. :D

Yup!

bettielee
12-06-2011, 08:30 PM
Thanks for all the kind supportive things my friends...I'd hug you but physical contact freaks me out, too. :)

I'm sure you understand.

cray
12-06-2011, 08:40 PM
THIS THREAD HAS CLOSE TO 500 VIEWS!!!

Haggis
12-06-2011, 09:03 PM
*installs doorman with gun to keep out extroverted batteries*

Archerbird
12-06-2011, 09:06 PM
The real difference between introverts and extroverts is how they "recharge". An introvert needs to turn inside to recharge and an extrovert needs to turn outside themselves--to other people--to recharge. So you can find introverts out in the public doing things you would only expect of an extrovert. But at some point, the introvert has to retreat and have alone time to recharge their energy or they will implode.

Implosions are not pretty. :D

I think there is something to that.

A lot of the points on the link are describing me - yet I don't count myself as introvert.

I'm...


...just a misanthrope.

I quite like being in a crowd and around people as long as I can leave when it gets annoying or stupid.


Btw, what happens when you implode? Make a squelching sound ?

Jehhillenberg
12-06-2011, 09:12 PM
I just tend to shut down completely...maybe the depression correlates, idk.

Either way, I don't think an implosion is a pretty sight or feeling.

Devil Ledbetter
12-06-2011, 09:19 PM
...I'd hug you but physical contact freaks me out, too. :)

I'm sure you understand.At my husband's Catholic Church that whole "sign of peace" thing where you're supposed to shake everyone's hand and and say "peace be with you" makes me want to crawl under a pew and hurl. It's not the peace, it's having to interact like that.

I'm suddenly understanding why I get so exhausted at trade shows. At least we're talking products and not personal stuff, though.

tjwriter
12-06-2011, 09:22 PM
Yeah, I am a very private person. I don't like having my personal space invaded. While I was on maternity leave, creepy neighbor from down the street would come by every. single. day. Sometimes multiple times a day. Drove me batshit crazy.

Stlight
12-06-2011, 11:27 PM
Thanks for all the kind supportive things my friends...I'd hug you but physical contact freaks me out, too. :)

I'm sure you understand.


Totally understand. cyber hug with hands a few inches away from each others upper arms.

I'm glad to know that I can't be fixed, it gives me something to say to stop the Fixers.

I need a lot of private recharge time. If I don't gt it, I do stress deafness which is my body's way of saying, "I told you!"

Weird is in the eye of the beholder, or the person who wants everyone lined up like daffodils in a ordered garden. I prefer English/wild gardens.

kayleamay
12-07-2011, 03:29 AM
I'd hug you but physical contact freaks me out, too. :)

I'm sure you understand.


:Hug2:
;)
:e2kissy:

I just had to e-mail the link in the OP to my husband. I'm hoping that it will get him to stop nagging me to go to family functions (extended family, not immediate family) and parties. Every year the company he works for throws a two day holiday event, and every year I go under protest. We just returned from this years party on Sunday. This was the first year that I didn't come back feeling like I was on the brink of a meltdown, which is probably because I kept the mass socializing down to a narrow 3 hours.

I even danced. In public. With strangers.

I was drunk at the time, but that's beside the point.

I danced.

Then I went back to the hotel and slelpt through the group brunch the next morning.

bettielee
12-07-2011, 03:47 AM
:Hug2:
;)
I was drunk at the time, but that's beside the point.



this could be the answer to all our problems....

Jehhillenberg
12-07-2011, 03:52 AM
:D

bettielee
12-07-2011, 03:54 AM
considering I have absolutely no head for alcohol at all, I don't see how there could possibly be any problems....

it's a perfect scheme...

Fenika
12-07-2011, 04:13 AM
I was gonna come post in this thread, but then it looked too intimidating and active.

:chair

:)

Hello folks.

Wicked
12-07-2011, 04:13 AM
this could be the answer to all our problems....


I can't drink. :(

Well, I guess I could, but then there's that whole possible "waking up dead" thing to deal with.

Jehhillenberg
12-07-2011, 04:16 AM
*gasp* You can "wake up dead"? Is that limited to just us?

:D

Fenika
12-07-2011, 04:19 AM
It's not nice to wake up dead. Vamps and Zombies smell funny.

GailD
12-07-2011, 04:33 AM
Yep. I'm a typical introvert. I never understood why I became so stressed around people until I was in 3rd year psych. Once you know, understand and accept what works and doesn't work for you, it's fine.

My husband is also an introvert. We sometimes forget to go out until there's no more food in the house but OMG, do we have fantastic conversations!

I liked the article - but I'd like to know where the author got that information about dopamine.

Silver King
12-07-2011, 05:42 AM
...There is one phenomenon I'm curious about: I've noticed that many introverts are more outgoing on the internet than in face-to-face interactions. Is this true in general?
I'm not sure about in general, but it's true for me. This is the only forum I belong to and had to work up a lot of courage to join. I'd lurked for over a year before taking the plunge. It was hard at first, and it took another year before I felt truly comfortable among the community.

What I like most is that I can write out my thoughts here instead of talking out loud, which gives me plenty of time to consider what I have to say. Unlike other social situations, I don't ever feel pressed to respond and can think through the best way to express my thoughts. I'm not quick on my feet when it comes to verbal exchanges, so this venue works to my advantage, most of the time.

(I probably shouldn't mention this, but becoming a mod on this site was horrifying for me at first, as it meant putting myself out there further than I felt comfortable at the time. But the experience has been highly rewarding, for the most part, and has brought me out of my shell more than I ever expected.)

For the record, this post took about thirty minutes to compose. Told you I wasn't quick on my feet. :)

DL Hegel
12-07-2011, 05:51 AM
*installs doorman with gun to keep out extroverted batteries*

don't let him see this. (http://imagecache2.allposters.com/images/pic/DES/D629~Lou-Gehrig-Ironman-Batteries-Posters.jpg)

Jehhillenberg
12-07-2011, 05:52 AM
Pretty much my thoughts, Silver King. :)

Well said!!

Haggis
12-07-2011, 05:55 AM
For the record, this post took about thirty minutes to compose. Told you I wasn't quick on my feet. :)
Fish ain't got no feet.

And as for me, I thought about participating in this thread, but there were too many people here already. :(

Jehhillenberg
12-07-2011, 05:58 AM
Fish ain't got no feet.

And as for me, I thought about participating in this thread, but there were too many people here already. :(

Aww. Too crowded?

Haggis
12-07-2011, 06:06 AM
Aww. Too crowded?
:chair

bettielee
12-07-2011, 09:01 AM
I'm not sure about in general, but it's true for me. This is the only forum I belong to and had to work up a lot of courage to join. I'd lurked for over a year before taking the plunge. It was hard at first, and it took another year before I felt truly comfortable among the community.

What I like most is that I can write out my thoughts here instead of talking out loud, which gives me plenty of time to consider what I have to say. Unlike other social situations, I don't ever feel pressed to respond and can think through the best way to express my thoughts. I'm not quick on my feet when it comes to verbal exchanges, so this venue works to my advantage, most of the time.

(I probably shouldn't mention this, but becoming a mod on this site was horrifying for me at first, as it meant putting myself out there further than I felt comfortable at the time. But the experience has been highly rewarding, for the most part, and has brought me out of my shell more than I ever expected.)

For the record, this post took about thirty minutes to compose. Told you I wasn't quick on my feet. :)

I joined a few forums in mah days... but never made friends, and never lasted more than a few months (None of them were writer's forums, however. Well, there was one but it stank.) Then I came here and met all you weirdos. You took me in as if I was one of your own. Or you were afraid what I would do out there among the others. :)

Cliff Face
12-07-2011, 01:38 PM
Yup, we're keeping an eye on you bettie. ;)

I mean, we want front row seats for when you take over the world!

shyne
12-07-2011, 07:08 PM
I'm guess I'm still very weird about my traits. I don't like them. I get very depressed about them, and the more I'm pressed, the angrier I get. It's like some kind of vicious circle.


I can relate to this. When I'm amongst others, part of me wants to be entertaining, charming, and all that jazz. The other portion is all like http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20110223033048/gleeusers/images/9/9c/KANYE_SHRUG.gif

Devil Ledbetter
12-07-2011, 07:29 PM
I'm a forum junkie from way back. I ran a popular (at the time) religious debate board on EZboard (now Yuku). That's now defunct. I also started grief support board that remains busy and active.

I'm really comfortable communicating through writing, and I also believe you get a more realistic understanding of people in an environment where they don't have the trappings of their culture or socioeconomic class. It's a little like nudist camp but not as drafty.

I'm sure my attraction to forum socializing stems from my introversion.

I really love AW because most of us are able to communicate clearly. That's a real shortcoming with a lot of other boards. I used to go to the Pearl Jam forums but had to bail because the low collective IQ. I'd actually had people berate me for using "big" vocabulary words like moot. :tongue

That never happens here.

Ari Meermans
12-07-2011, 08:15 PM
My friend and Iónotice I didn't say "a friend"ówere just discussing this and I mentioned this thread. I told her how much better I feel knowing I'm not alone and there are so many who are introverts just like me. She said, "Oh, good. Yeah, I can see that. Knowing you're an introvert is better than thinking you're just a crabby old bat." :ROFL:

Wicked
12-07-2011, 11:00 PM
My friend and Iónotice I didn't say "a friend"ówere just discussing this and I mentioned this thread. I told her how much better I feel knowing I'm not alone and there are so many who are introverts just like me. She said, "Oh, good. Yeah, I can see that. Knowing you're an introvert is better than thinking you're just a crabby old bat." :ROFL:


:D That sounds like something my husband would say to me.

Leah J. Utas
12-07-2011, 11:20 PM
This thread has given me lots to go away and think about. Yay!

RemusShepherd
12-07-2011, 11:27 PM
I quite like being in a crowd and around people as long as I can leave when it gets annoying or stupid.

Btw, what happens when you implode? Make a squelching sound ?

Not sure. But I'll tell you what happens when I explode.

Worldcon 2011, four months ago. I'm invited to a major publisher's room party. I know a few editors there personally, and they've had a manuscript of mine for three years, so I show up hoping to see them and maybe ask about it. I'd also like to meet the YA editor so she can put a face to my name.

The party is packed. There isn't enough space to walk in between people from room to room. Probably a hundred people jammed into two hotel suites, with more streaming in from the elevators. My hearing isn't very good, so I can't even hold a conversation over the chatter. I can't find any of the editors I want to speak to. Before too long I'm twitching, I have the urge to throw people out of my path, and I realize that I would feel more comfortable if the walls were painted in their blood. I decide that it's time to go.

I get to the elevators and try to breathe...and a friend pops out from behind me with his two-year-old daughter in his hands.

I freak. I rant about how he shouldn't let a child near someone like me, and how I'm a "ticking fucking time bomb", and how much I want to kill every person around me. He (and everyone else in the hallway) hastily makes it onto the elevator. I run to an empty hallway where my girlfriend tries to calm me down, all the while thinking that I probably just ruined my career.

I probably didn't. Hopefully nobody of consequence saw that, and those that saw will not remember it, and those that remember will understand that I'm a damaged man-child who is a bad fit for their socialite club house. I'm trying my best. That's all I can do.

I should mention that I've never actually been violent. But when a crowd is around me, oh do I have the urges. That's the kind of misanthropic introvert I am.

BeatrixKiddo
12-08-2011, 03:27 AM
I dislike creating threads without a good reason, but this struck a chord with me. (and I didn't see it posted anywhere with a quick search)

My bug geek buddies were passing this link around on FB.
http://www.carlkingdom.com/10-myths-about-introverts


Damn. I've been pegged. Number one was particularly accurate. :roll:


All very true, and all very me. I even started a movie group for introverts and we meet every two weeks. The running joke was that no one would show up for the meetups. (har, har)

Turns out, folks did show up and are quite talkative once we all feel comfortable with each other. Introverts are near and dear to my heart.

Jehhillenberg
12-08-2011, 08:01 PM
http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20110223033048/gleeusers/images/9/9c/KANYE_SHRUG.gif

Yep. LOL



All very true, and all very me. I even started a movie group for introverts and we meet every two weeks. The running joke was that no one would show up for the meetups. (har, har)

Turns out, folks did show up and are quite talkative once we all feel comfortable with each other. Introverts are near and dear to my heart.

Movie group? Oh yes! I'd so visit Gotham City anyway :D

Archerbird
12-09-2011, 03:01 PM
all the while thinking that I probably just ruined my career.

I probably didn't. Hopefully nobody of consequence saw that, and those that saw will not remember it, and those that remember will understand that I'm a damaged man-child who is a bad fit for their socialite club house. I'm trying my best. That's all I can do.



I wouldn't worry about it. It's amazing what people forget.

LilliCray
12-09-2011, 07:32 PM
Heh, I've known I was a true-to-gosh introvert all my life (courtesy of my super-smart, ridiculously extroverted mom), but it's nice having confirmation. :D

I love how spot-on my mom's eternal theory about introverts-extroverts is completely spot-on: introverts recharge by being alone, extroverts recharge by being around other people. (Makes for some interesting dynamics at Christmas--my mom and brother are crazy extroverts, my sister and I are introverts. I will admit somewhat ashamedly I've used my introverted-ness to convince my mom to let me go off and read whenever there's any sort of family gathering or party with close friends or whatever. Sadly, this tactic failed at my graduation party. Four hours of torture. Luckily, very few people actually showed up... >.<) ETA: All my other paragraphs end with the same smiley! MUST... HAVE... CONTINUITY! :D

I love the Internet. This is one of two forums I ever felt comfortable with. The other one was a dragon RPG that closed down a long time ago. I'm way more comfortable with online interactions. Maybe because I don't have to see the looks on people's faces when they realize I'm a complete and total alien, and the resultant strained voices don't show up when they do the verbal equivalent of backing away slowly with hands in the air. :D

I've also been berated for using "big" vocabulary words, like Devil Ledbetter. The difference? Always happens in real life, with real friends, and I'm pretty sure once the word was, like, "gigantic". I kid you not. (Not that my memory is necessarily remembering correctly, but meh.) :D

...hrm. I wonder if I'm coming off as too extroverted for this thread. :D

Alpha Echo
12-09-2011, 07:52 PM
My name is Alpha, and I am a proud introvert. :) My husband and I both are which is part of why I think we get along so well. We tease each other and say we're boring b/c we'd rather spend a night in than go anywhere. We both have very few "real" friends, but those we have we'd do anything for and visa versa. That's all we need!

And I love the folks I've "met" here! Yay for AW! Introverts Unite!

The older I get, the more introverted I get and the less I like people. Or crowds, at least. No...people. People never cease to amaze me, and more often than not, the amazment is not the good kind.

Jehhillenberg
12-09-2011, 08:15 PM
I hate crowds....:( for cool concerts.

Alpha Echo
12-09-2011, 08:31 PM
I know, Jehh. I understand. Crowds don't bother me if we're doing something I really enjoy. We took our daughter to see Taylor Swift, and I had a blast singing and dancing and screaming. The crowds didn't bother me. But they bothered the hell out of my husband who said that next time, he'll drive us there and sit in the car to wait it out.

We'll never take the daughter to an amusement park unless she and I go with a group or something because my husband just can't handle the stress and anxiety. He's a million times worse than me.

When we first met, he took me tubing down the Potomac. We had to stand in this long line to pay and receive our raft, which was fine. Until the line wound through the little gift shop. If we didn't get out when we did, my husband (well, at the time, it was like, our third date or something) would have had to give me the money and wait for me outside.

Darkarma
01-05-2012, 10:21 PM
Those ten myths of introverts seems to describe Asburgers pretty well (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asperger_syndrome). Something with which both me and my mother have. Currently I believe its considered a lesser form of autism.

shakeysix
01-05-2012, 10:51 PM
as a kid i didn't get invited to a lot of parties. i didn't mind too much but i had this batty tennessee williams mother who would grill me unmercifully as to why i wasn't invited to one party or another. she had a whole checklist of strategies to make me more "popular"--like i gave a flying fuck. except for the gimp leg, i was the glass menagerie! --s6

fireluxlou
01-06-2012, 04:42 AM
I'm such an introvert. I am not really bothered by other people I really enjoy spending time on my own. My boyfriend is a mix of introvert and extrovert. Tbh we're not that social unless with family.

Most artists and writers I know are introverts after being art college.

Jehhillenberg
01-06-2012, 05:04 AM
I went to art school (film school). The people were chill, a mix of introverts and extroverts.

I enjoy parties, but I don't usually stay toooo long or to "the end."

fireluxlou
01-06-2012, 05:17 AM
Me neither. Parties kind of bore me and well not my scene :).

Tepelus
01-06-2012, 07:19 AM
I'm not keen on parties either. The boyfriend thinks he needs to be there to the very end. I'm usually ready to go home to bed, and often times leave his ass at the party (which are always at a friend's house, so he's okay).

Jehhillenberg
01-06-2012, 12:08 PM
LOL

Wicked
02-02-2014, 08:45 PM
*breaks glass on emergency thread resurrection button*

Am I the only one who cringes at the well meaning, "Oh, you just need to go out and make friends", advice? Like it's as easy as going to the store to buy a loaf of bread.

Sure. Why not just ask, "Oh, why don't you go put your hand in that meat grinder?"

They both sound painful.

My friend does it all the time. My husband does it all the time. It stresses me out.

Sneaky Devil
02-02-2014, 09:21 PM
When I hear that, I get rather irritated. For some of us, it's not easy...at all. Then when I voice my opinion on it, I'm told I need to relax. :Headbang:

Wicked
02-02-2014, 09:52 PM
When I hear that, I get rather irritated. For some of us, it's not easy...at all. Then when I voice my opinion on it, I'm told I need to relax. :Headbang:

*nods*

Getting dismissed, as if our feelings about it are silly.

It makes me feel like I'm letting them down somehow. And it makes me angry.

shakeysix
02-02-2014, 10:46 PM
Fuck new friends. The ones I have are a pain in the ass. Except librarians. I can always chat with a librarian. In whispers of course.--s6

Wicked
02-02-2014, 10:58 PM
Librarians are the gatekeepers to countless new worlds. They know how to speak our language. :tongue

Ken
02-02-2014, 11:26 PM
Librarians are cool. Been on friendly terms with four.

Hyperminimalism
02-02-2014, 11:39 PM
1, 2, 4, 5, and 6 are typically true with me, although at times I do like to be social and have lunch with someone or something like that. Every now and then, I'll want to see a movie. I don't have more than one friend in my everyday life. Everyone else I know is on the internet. But a lot of people think that because I'm pretty quiet and not a huge talker that I'm rude or weird. I'm more of an observer than anything else, and sometimes I simply don't have anything to say. I feel this kind of shines through in my writing as well. My stories tend to get straight and to the point. Whereas, I've noticed some writer's can go off on a tangent with extravagant detail in both setting and inner monologue. Sometimes I wish I was able to do that!

Ambrosia
02-03-2014, 12:01 AM
*breaks glass on emergency thread resurrection button*

Am I the only one who cringes at the well meaning, "Oh, you just need to go out and make friends", advice? Like it's as easy as going to the store to buy a loaf of bread.

Sure. Why not just ask, "Oh, why don't you go put your hand in that meat grinder?"

They both sound painful.

My friend does it all the time. My husband does it all the time. It stresses me out.
Have you told them it stresses you out? It might help. Of course it might not. But it is worth a try.

Wicked
02-03-2014, 12:26 AM
Have you told them it stresses you out? It might help. Of course it might not. But it is worth a try.

Hubby, for all his better qualities, is an ass when it comes to things he doesn't understand. Been there, done that.

Friend is savvy enough to recognize when my coping skills start to short out, but still thinks getting out more will help. :Shrug:

Alas, there are still all the other friends, family, and acquaintances, that hand the line out like candy. To them it's a hop, skip, and a jump, to wonderland.

To me it's a five mile long mine field with an uncertain destination.
And rolls of concertina wire. Lots of concertina wire. :tongue

Ambrosia
02-03-2014, 12:28 AM
Not to mention that if you do manage to cross the 5 mile long mine field to the uncertain destination and get through the rolls of concertina wire you will have absolutely no energy to deal with what is on the other side.

So, tell 'em to stuff it. :D

shakeysix
02-03-2014, 12:30 AM
Extravagant detail is my cross in life. I am editing a novel now, crossing out whole lines of description and detail. I do it this way because i must get the whole scene straight in my head first and then, as a last step, I take out the irrelevant. I think this is because I am not comfortable in the real world so I have to write a new one.--s6

Wicked
02-03-2014, 12:59 AM
I'm backwards. First draft is bare. Then I go back and layer in description, additional characterization, and emotion.
Emotion is always last, because I hate it the most.

Though I am an edit as I go/edit before I finish sort. Some parts will be fleshed out, and some will be outline with a bit of meat hanging off of it.

I love to puzzle stories together in my head. Make all the strings pull together just right. Most of them never get put down on paper.

Haggis
02-03-2014, 01:38 AM
I'd hang out here and talk with you folks except I'm not all that fond of groups and I can't deal with small talk.

Sneaky Devil
02-03-2014, 01:56 AM
Here's my thing, I don't need or want new friends. I cherish the ones I have, which is a small select group. My two best friends and I have been so for over 17 years, that's more than half my life. Them, I trust. They know me better than anyone which means they're the only ones that don't tell me I should go out and meet new people.

All that being said, even if I decided to go out tomorrow and try and meet new people, it wouldn't be easy. I doubt it would happen. It would definitely take some work, and I'm not even sure it would be worth it.

Trying to explain my reasoning to other people makes me feel like I'm running around in this vicious circle. I'm convinced that some people just can't comprehend living like that.

Wicked
02-03-2014, 02:11 AM
New friends are exciting. I make one every decade or so. Not sure how. :tongue

I suspect it's because they initiate things. Most of the time I'm too thick to recognize it, unless they are persistent.

Sneaky Devil
02-03-2014, 02:22 AM
That's me, exactly. I'm too much in my own head to observe a lot of what's going on around me. So when someone is generally interested in talking to me or trying to befriend me, I sit there scratching my head wondering why they won't leave me alone. :Shrug:

shakeysix
02-03-2014, 02:47 AM
I am rediscovering my siblings and we are becoming best friends. We lived across the country from each other for forty years, saw each other for funerals and an occasional holiday. Mom's death sent us away from each other--she was so young-- and then our father's death seemed to pull us together. We have a lot of the same interests, gardening, photography, fossil hunting, rock collecting, our ground. My brother and sister are a lot more outgoing but time is making them more introspective. They say they only remember me as a mop of blonde hair behind a book. I'm not saying they don't give me a pain from time to time but they are my new best friends and i am glad we re-met--s6

KellyAssauer
02-04-2014, 01:46 AM
New friends are exciting. I make one every decade or so. Not sure how. :tongue

You're doing better than me.

As for leaving the house, I hate doing it, but oddly I have recognized the fact that I write my tail off when I'm out there. I scrawl pages and pages of frantic observations of everything I see. So, as much as I hate it, I do get something from it. It's just a matter of my convincing myself that what I get is worth it - and that's a tough sell.

Jehhillenberg
02-19-2014, 04:57 AM
Soooo....just wanted to see what happened to this thread. :D

jeffo
02-21-2014, 05:03 PM
Good stuff in this thread. Hi. My name if Jeff. I'm an introvert.

No, wait, it's NOT a bad thing! But only true introverts get introverts. Well, there are exceptions. I loved it when I worked at one job and after about a year, my boss finally figured it out. She said, "Sure, Jeff doesn't talk much, but when he does, you better listen because he's got something to say."

And that, combined with a few other nudges, has actually prompted me to attempt a book about introverts -- not to try and explain introverts, but to attempt to explain the actions of the introvert, as seen by the extrovert. You know, things like, "When you see the introvert not speaking to you, they aren't ignoring you, they are thinking!"

I'm hoping the book will be a little better than that (and longer), but that's enough small talk with all you strangers... ;)

BeatrixKiddo
03-12-2014, 04:39 PM
I actually run a social group on a site called Meetup for introverts. As of November, our group will be four years old. I wonder what the percentage of writers are introverts. I'd bet it's quite many.

jeffo
03-12-2014, 06:36 PM
"Meetup for Introverts?"

I am picturing meetings with no one attending...

StoryG27
03-12-2014, 07:04 PM
My hubby understands I get anxiety about having to go out and do things in groups. Military balls are a sore topic between us because he has to go. I've gone to a few. Not only is it a stomach turning experience psyching myself to go, but then, the people are usually super obnoxious and irritate me anyway. And then only time they didn't irritate me it was because there was a big video memorial for all they had lost on their very recent deployment and we all sat there and sobbed. So, yeah, that was fun.

He really doesn't understand how I get the same anxiety when I have to make a phone call. It's almost worse. I hate making phone calls.





As for leaving the house, I hate doing it, but oddly I have recognized the fact that I write my tail off when I'm out there. I scrawl pages and pages of frantic observations of everything I see. So, as much as I hate it, I do get something from it. It's just a matter of my convincing myself that what I get is worth it - and that's a tough sell.
I hate leaving the house. I mean, I go to work, but other than that, the only reason I leave is because the kids have something. My hubby says once the kids leave the house for good, I never will leave it again.

"Meetup for Introverts?"

I am picturing meetings with no one attending...

LOL. That's exactly what I pictured. :D

KellyAssauer
03-12-2014, 08:17 PM
"Meetup for Introverts?"

I am picturing meetings with no one attending...

As an introvert, I do fine on a one-to-one basis,
but groups? Ahhh!


*thanks for the new siggy quote SG!* ;)

StoryG27
03-13-2014, 02:15 AM
As an introvert, I do fine on a one-to-one basis,
but groups? Ahhh!


*thanks for the new siggy quote SG!* ;)

I'm honored.

:D


Drinks on me!

ETA: I'm only offering to buy because I know no one will show up. :tongue:

Haggis
03-13-2014, 03:14 AM
Did someone say "free drinks?"

KellyAssauer
03-13-2014, 03:48 AM
Nope. Not free,
but they are on SG
Which either means she can't move much,
or she has moved too much already.

:Shrug:

L. Y.
03-13-2014, 07:27 AM
Cool thread. And hello fellow introverts. :hi:

*goes back to lurking*

lurky
04-16-2014, 06:27 AM
Any introverts here find the world inside their head more real than the real world?

jeffo
04-16-2014, 03:39 PM
Wait, there's a world outside my head? Says who?

Nancy.K.Writer
04-17-2014, 02:01 AM
Oh, this is a great thread. I am definitely an introvert although I can play well with others. Anyone else need "quiet time" after being in a crowd/with a group? My husband and I are the same way in that sense and after any sort of group event we take a morning/afternoon/evening off to either hang out at home or go play outdoors (where no one is except us and the dogs).

KellyAssauer
04-17-2014, 02:12 AM
Yes!

When I'm all peopled out... recovery/recharge time is almost always needed. =)

I hate to say it, but sometimes... Monday mornings are a blessing.

sheadakota
04-17-2014, 02:22 AM
I just saw this thread! Hello my people!

Justin SR
04-17-2014, 02:50 AM
Wow, that article really hit home with me. I'm another one who needs recharge time. We have a 20-minute rule in my house where after I come home from work or wherever people try to give me at least 20 minutes before they start asking for things and demanding my attention.

I've also had people ask me if I have some form of autism before. Both because of my introverted nature and because I get weirdly focused on some things. I usually tell them I'm just quiet, but sometimes I wonder. I have some idiosyncrasies and perceptions that might fit in with the different viewpoints that are on the autism spectrum.

Anyways, good to see so many of my kind. I have no doubt that writing is a great way for us to express ourselves.

HeavyAirship
04-17-2014, 04:02 PM
So...I'm not broken?

Good to know. Now I can get on with my life instead of trying to fix myself.


If I don't post anymore in this thread it's not because I'm shy, I'm just an introvert. DEAL WITH IT! ;)

jeffo
04-17-2014, 04:47 PM
Next up: convincing the rest of the world you're not broken so THEY won't try and fix you!

KellyAssauer
04-17-2014, 05:00 PM
broken, aberrant, anti-social,
repressed, inhibited, in-denial,
stuck-up, suppressed, abby-normal,
irregular self-absorbed...

oopsy, was I chanting my 'names people have called me'
mantra out loud? Yikes.

*hides*

jeffo
04-17-2014, 05:11 PM
selfish, aloof, unapproachable... :)

KellyAssauer
04-18-2014, 02:43 AM
We need more loofs!

The one I can't handle is: creepy. It's the worst. =(

jeffo
04-18-2014, 03:36 PM
I don't get creepy very often. I think because I've worked to find ways to engage people in the way they expect as much as I can. Maybe that's a little out of my comfort zone, but it works. Then again, that's why I'm (working on) writing the book -- trying to explain to people how introverts think so that they won't misunderstand them!

mailtime
04-18-2014, 08:47 PM
Is there an Extroverts Unite anywhere?

Wicked
04-18-2014, 08:53 PM
Is there an Extroverts Unite anywhere?

Hmm. I don't know. You could run a search for the title, but it might be a pretty old thread.

But since when do extroverts need to be encouraged to gather in large groups. ;) :tongue

Wicked
04-18-2014, 08:57 PM
We need more loofs!

The one I can't handle is: creepy. It's the worst. =(

You say creepy like it's a bad thing. :D

mailtime
04-18-2014, 08:58 PM
Hmm. I don't know. You could run a search for the title, but it might be a pretty old thread.

But since when do extroverts need to be encouraged to gather in large groups. ;) :tongue

It's not the encouragement that's needed, but just finding other writers who just love to talk, talk, talk and actually hate being alone. It's weird. I have to be alone to write, but it's so, so lonely.

AshleyEpidemic
04-18-2014, 08:59 PM
I've been repeatedly told that people thought I didn't like them. As a result, I've been ignored by a lot of people. I don't mind being in a group, but don't expect me to talk. You start making me interact and I feel burned out after a little while. It makes it hard to make friends. In fact, I've lived in Austin for almost 2 years and I haven't made any friends. I almost did once though, then he stopped talking to me.

jeffo
04-18-2014, 09:16 PM
I think the "extroverts thread" is everywhere else in real life :)

As for the "don't like them" thought, yes I've seen that a lot, too. It's just that expectation -- when you don't meet the expectations that are, well, expected, you're "different." And most places in this society, "different" is wrong.

KellyAssauer
04-18-2014, 09:36 PM
Is there an Extroverts Unite anywhere?

Please start an Extroverts Unite thread!


*that way I can keep an eye on all of you at once...*

:D

mailtime
04-18-2014, 09:46 PM
Lol. I would, but I'm guessing there's not a lot of writers who are extroverts. I haven't met anybody who's loud and likes talking to people and happens to be a writer.

I feel like an outcast. Just to make sure I was actually extroverted, I've taken at least four personality tests. Extrovert always crushes introvert in a landslide. I don't need to be the center of attention or always talking, but I definitely get energy from being around others, strangers and friends. It greatly helps my dialogue.

Wicked
04-18-2014, 09:52 PM
Not to worry. I know there are plenty of extroverts around AW.

Introverts don't have a monopoly on writing. ;)

jeffo
04-18-2014, 09:56 PM
I don't need to be the center of attention or always talking, but I definitely get energy from being around others, strangers and friends.

Bingo! We have a winner!

In my research, that's one of the biggest things that defines introvert vs. extrovert -- source of energy. I'm a huge introvert on every one of those tests, yet I can get up and talk to groups of people all day long -- but I'm exhausted after having a one-on-one conversation for 15 minutes.

Witch_turtle
04-18-2014, 10:06 PM
I didn't know this thread existed!! Can I join?


I've been repeatedly told that people thought I didn't like them. As a result, I've been ignored by a lot of people. I don't mind being in a group, but don't expect me to talk. You start making me interact and I feel burned out after a little while. It makes it hard to make friends. In fact, I've lived in Austin for almost 2 years and I haven't made any friends. I almost did once though, then he stopped talking to me.

This is me exactly. I actually like being in groups/around people, but I have to be comfortable around whoever I'm with, and I still won't talk much. One-on-one is nearly impossible. I've lived in my current town for 2.5 years now and I haven't made any friends either... It really sucks, because while I like being alone, I can't bear being lonely. What's a twenty-something to do?

As for extroverts, quite a number of people I met in my university creative writing class were extremely extroverted, always-talking/always-centre-of-attention people, one or two in particular. First time I'd ever met writers like that.

EarlyBird
04-18-2014, 10:28 PM
How have I just found this thread?

*Heaves sigh*

It feels so good to be among my people.

I'm energized through solitude. Oh, I can get along with people when I want to, but most of the time I choose not. My husband is the opposite. He thrives on human interaction and spends a good portion of his day on the phone...and not just for business. I truly don't understand it.

jeffo
04-18-2014, 10:33 PM
It really sucks, because while I like being alone, I can't bear being lonely. What's a twenty-something to do?

Isn't that why the intertubes were invented? ;)

Mirth
04-18-2014, 11:18 PM
OMG there are people like me!

How on Earth would we have found each other! :tongue :Hug2:

juniper
04-18-2014, 11:37 PM
:hi: Just saw this thread. Glad to find some like-minded companions.


Any introverts here find the world inside their head more real than the real world?

At least more interesting, much of the time. :)


Anyone else need "quiet time" after being in a crowd/with a group?

My husband is pretty much an extrovert, while I am not. If we're going to some social event we often take separate cars. I leave early and escape to home for my quiet time, while he stays on. Just works better than me staying and being miserable, or hiding in a corner. At least if I have to hide in the corner, I have an iPhone (internet) to keep me company. A few years ago, I might sneak in a book.

Ok, that's enough chat for me. See ya later.

AshleyEpidemic
04-18-2014, 11:53 PM
A few years ago, I might sneak in a book.

Ok, that's enough chat for me. See ya later.

I've been doing this recently. I've gotten a few weird looks. People just don't understand. So I just bury my head further into the book. Gosh being around new people gives me so much anxiety.

tjwriter
04-19-2014, 12:18 AM
Now, with reading apps on the phones, you can look like your are addicted to FaceBooger while really reading a book! :)

Crayonz
04-19-2014, 12:30 AM
I've been doing this recently. I've gotten a few weird looks. People just don't understand. So I just bury my head further into the book. Gosh being around new people gives me so much anxiety.


Now, with reading apps on the phones, you can look like your are addicted to FaceBooger while really reading a book! :)
This! I still sneak in a paper-book sometimes, but usually my phone works better (it's smaller, for one). People assume I'm like many of my fellow twenty-somethings and am browsing facebook or pintrest or fibberty-giddgets and I honestly don't care enough to correct them. xD If assuming I'm on facebook will get people to leave me alone, then by all means.

I did get found out by one of my co-workers, though. Someone commented about me being on my phone and my co-worker was all, "She's reading. She's always reading." Warmed my heart, it did. :D

sheadakota
04-19-2014, 12:30 AM
I just spent all day OUT shopping for gas stoves and flooring for the addition we're building. I am in desperate need to be alone right now!

KellyAssauer
04-19-2014, 12:56 AM
Now, with reading apps on the phones, you can look like your are addicted to FaceBooger while really reading a book! :)

Wait.

Aren't there like people on facebooger?
Lots and lots of them?

:gone:

*and yes, it's true, I have seven contacts on my phone*

jeffo
04-21-2014, 07:03 PM
Hey, quick question for all you (us) introverted types --

Is "introvert" and "collaboration" possible to use the same sentence?

la-gamine
04-22-2014, 01:33 AM
I hate that the world favors extroverts and their qualities. Every job is always people skills, people skills. Oh, you didn't ace your interview? Probably because you can't bs your way through it as good as other people can. I'm a dedicated worker and will do my best at whatever job I'm given, just give me the chance.

Nancy.K.Writer
04-24-2014, 04:35 PM
Hey, quick question for all you (us) introverted types --

Is "introvert" and "collaboration" possible to use the same sentence?

I think so. Earlier someone pointed out that the key difference is from where we get our power. Introverts are energized working by themselves whereas extroverts get their power and motivation and working with each other. When a team truly understands the difference between introverts and extroverts, is versed in how the two work together, etc. you can have excellent collaboration. I work in a people industry and work both collaboratively and alone. I'm very clear, when entering a new team, from the beginning that I'm an introvert, what it looks like, behaviors they may see that seem strange, etc. Anyone can collaborate as long as everyone is willing to understand the differences and what they mean. Perfect example: any group I work with knows that I will disappear after a session rather than go to the bar with them for drinks immediately. However, after some quiet time alone I may join up at the bar with a few people, but I need that quiet time to myself after being with a group because I find it so exhausting.

Nancy.K.Writer
04-24-2014, 04:35 PM
I hate that the world favors extroverts and their qualities. Every job is always people skills, people skills. Oh, you didn't ace your interview? Probably because you can't bs your way through it as good as other people can. I'm a dedicated worker and will do my best at whatever job I'm given, just give me the chance.

Guess I'm lucky. I'm an introvert but I can bs my way through an interview with the best of them :)

jeffo
04-24-2014, 05:15 PM
Anyone can collaborate as long as everyone is willing to understand the differences and what they mean.

That's a great point, thank you.

I'm asking for two reasons: first, I am writing a book (non-fiction) trying to explain introverts to extroverts and extroverts to introverts (I'm thinking of subtitle of "Do NOT do to others as you want done to you).

Second: The place where I'm working is starting a "new" workspace idea focused around collaboration. The idea is to have a giant workspace that's wide open. No one has any assigned seats, you just show up and sit near whoever you're working with that day. There's only very low walls, so that everyone can see everyone else all the time. There are a couple "phone booths" where you can go to take a phone call, otherwise, you're supposed to work with others. It seems interesting to me, but part of me hopes it is a miserable failure, as I really can't imagine working in such a place -- I don't think I'd ever get anything done with all the distractions, and I think it would be horribly, horribly draining to be around so many people and interacting with them all day. I'm picturing many scheduled hours in a toilet stall to recharge...

tjwriter
04-24-2014, 07:26 PM
Second: The place where I'm working is starting a "new" workspace idea focused around collaboration. The idea is to have a giant workspace that's wide open. No one has any assigned seats, you just show up and sit near whoever you're working with that day. There's only very low walls, so that everyone can see everyone else all the time. There are a couple "phone booths" where you can go to take a phone call, otherwise, you're supposed to work with others. It seems interesting to me, but part of me hopes it is a miserable failure, as I really can't imagine working in such a place -- I don't think I'd ever get anything done with all the distractions, and I think it would be horribly, horribly draining to be around so many people and interacting with them all day. I'm picturing many scheduled hours in a toilet stall to recharge...

My setup at work is somewhat similar, though seats are not random. While I can work in a cafe or something that has a persistant low rumble, the open workspace has just the wrong level of noise for me to function well. I usually have to plug into headphones or something, which sucks if I'm doing something best worked on in silence.

Kaylinn57
04-24-2014, 10:00 PM
Hey look, a place with other people like me.

Question: as fellow introverts, do you find that you tend to write more introverted MC or extroverted MC? Or are you good at mixing it up?

So far, my MCs are pretty introverted, although I'm not sure that was intentional.

jeffo
04-24-2014, 10:39 PM
Question: as fellow introverts, do you find that you tend to write more introverted MC or extroverted MC? Or are you good at mixing it up?

You know, I never really thought about that...

Kaylinn57
04-25-2014, 01:51 AM
You know, I never really thought about that...

It's just a question I thought up when I saw this thread. I actually don't have many writer friends so I don't get to ask random writing questions like this very often. :/

Randy Lee
04-25-2014, 02:28 AM
only true introverts get introverts. Well, there are exceptions. I loved it when I worked at one job and after about a year, my boss finally figured it out. She said, "Sure, Jeff doesn't talk much, but when he does, you better listen because he's got something to say."


I had a teacher like that back in high school, but I think he was perceiving an illusion. I only spoke when I had something to say. Mr. Mason frequently wished that I would comment more because my comments were always so insightful. What he didn't realize was that if I commented more, I would be mixing the same insightful comments with less insightful ones. And since I paid attention, I noticed that most of my talkative classmates had very insightful comments at about the same rate that I did. It's just that they were diluted by all of their other less-insightful comments. So I don't think that taciturnity generates insightfulness, but it can generate the illusion of insightfulness.

Randy Lee
04-25-2014, 02:35 AM
As a child, I was the shyest person I've ever known. It was extreme and debilitating.

Day by day, I worked at conquering it. It wasn't easy. Partly it happened because life kicked me around a lot, and I found out that there are a lot of things more terrifying than the fear of social rejection.

So, for several years now, I've been capable to approach people without fear, and communicate effectively. I figure my shyness is 95% gone.

But guess what. I'm still very introverted, and I feel that there's no cure for that. Talking to people outside of my family drains me. Sometimes family members do too. Being alone or just with my wife fills me up.

My wife is an extrovert. And yet neither of us are typical. For example, crowds don't bother me because they seem anonymous to me. My wife the extrovert hates crowds because she feels it when people don't approve of her.

So it takes all kinds...

asyouwish
04-25-2014, 02:40 AM
Question: as fellow introverts, do you find that you tend to write more introverted MC or extroverted MC? Or are you good at mixing it up?

99% of my MCs are introverts with extroverted friends. Which is exactly how it is IRL for me. No joke, I ATTRACT the biggest extroverts on the planet. My friends have always been the loudest and most energy draining people ever. Ironic, considering all I want is to be left alone.

Jehhillenberg
04-25-2014, 03:19 AM
Hey look, a place with other people like me.

Question: as fellow introverts, do you find that you tend to write more introverted MC or extroverted MC? Or are you good at mixing it up?

So far, my MCs are pretty introverted, although I'm not sure that was intentional.

Mine are typically introverted, since my MCs and some characters are extensions of me. Other characters are a mixture of both. I have introverted and extroverted friends.

Kaylinn57
04-25-2014, 04:12 PM
99% of my MCs are introverts with extroverted friends. Which is exactly how it is IRL for me. No joke, I ATTRACT the biggest extroverts on the planet. My friends have always been the loudest and most energy draining people ever. Ironic, considering all I want is to be left alone.

I know what you mean. I seem to attract all the extroverts too. Almost all of my friends are super extroverts, even my husband. I do have one really good friend who is also an introvert and we spend quite a bit of time sitting in corners together at parties and get togethers, even the ones we throw for our extrovert friends. Maybe especially those. :D


Mine are typically introverted, since my MCs and some characters are extensions of me. Other characters are a mixture of both. I have introverted and extroverted friends.

I thought that might be the consensus. My MCs are all some extension of me as well, so it just easier to write them as introverts.

Gilroy Cullen
04-25-2014, 04:43 PM
They hate small talk.= me
They donít interact for the sake of interacting. = me
They want everyone to just be real and honest. = me
Introverts intensely value the few friends they have. = me
recharging is absolutely crucial for Introverts. = me
They think a lot. They daydream. = me
They donít make most decisions based on what is popular or trendy. = me
Introverts are people who primarily look inward, paying close attention to their thoughts and emotions. = me
Introverts typically relax at home or in nature, not in busy public places. = me

Yup. This so translates me too.
Though I found an interesting article somewhere (wish I could remember where now) about there being a third option, an Ambivert. They fall in the middle and have tendencies of both Introversion and Extroversion.

The fact that my also introvert best friend and I are Karaoke junkies is a weird side to me, since I hate crowds and especially hate being in front of crowds...

jeffo
04-25-2014, 04:50 PM
I like to think of the various traits as sliding scales, left to right -- one side is the introvert, the other is extrovert. For each trait, you can be anywhere on the scale (from extreme intro to extreme extro). Those who have more traits towards the intro- side would identify as overall introverts.

jerrimander
04-25-2014, 05:09 PM
I've had people meet me online, then in real life, and think they've met the wrong person. Online, apparently, I come across as a loud, obnoxious person, who won't take any guff from anybody. In person, I'm quiet, observant, and secretly taking notes.
My husband of 14 years still shakes his head when I say for the millionth time, I don't do concerts, or games, or crowds in general. And when I do do something outgoing, like a party, I must have down time afterwards.

tjwriter
04-25-2014, 05:20 PM
My husband and I are both introverted, but I hang with some extroverts. Every once in awhile I get this wild hair to go be extra social and then I'm done with that for months. I'll go out somewhere, get my fill of people, and then seek the quiet (relative term - we have three small children) of our house for awhile.

Wicked
04-25-2014, 06:59 PM
I have a bug geek friend I'd chatted with for several years online. Every year he tried to convince me to go to the convention. Finally he said, "You're going, because I'm going to come get you."

Road trip to Texas with someone I'd never met in person before. Way out of my usual comfort zone.

After the initial awkwardness, and voice in my head, screaming "You're going to die! The State Troopers are going to find your mutilated corpse in a ditch!", we hit it off as well as we did online.

But he kept staring at me and shaking his head.
"What?"
"I can't reconcile the you I know from the forum, and the you that is right here. You're so dry, dark, and cynical online, and the you now is so quiet, and . . . bubbly."

Similar reactions from the rest of my bug geek buddies when I got to the convention. How quiet and bubbly go together I'm not really sure, but I guess. :Shrug:( I still can't believe someone called me bubbly. http://smileys.on-my-web.com/repository/Unhappy/unhappy-072.png )

shakeysix
04-25-2014, 07:37 PM
Wow. All the way to Texas with a stranger you met online? That would make a great short story beginning. I used to hitch hike in my hippie daze but now am older and more paranoid. I probably would have sneaked a loaded gun along. Just to ease those voices in my head--s6

Ellis Clover
04-26-2014, 09:51 AM
Question: as fellow introverts, do you find that you tend to write more introverted MC or extroverted MC? Or are you good at mixing it up?

That's an interesting question. At first I was all, 'Hey, how strange. Most of my MCs are total extraverts.' But then I realised they are usually actors - that is, people doing performative jobs (bartending, real estate, other types of sales) - and that their work doesn't necessarily reflect intro or extraversion at all. I've always worked with the public in bubbly, sales-oriented roles, and I'm a massive introvert, so now I tend to think I'm probably just writing versions of myself over and over...

shahrazad
04-26-2014, 01:31 PM
All those points apply to me, except when I am around people, since social interaction in my cultural background is overly sociable and exuberant , I tend to default to how my mother behaves. I'm everybody's bff at parties, I flirt with everybody, and am super attention seeking...but then, I can keep it up for only the night. After a few hours I need days before I want to go out with friends. And I need weeks before I can have another night out.

My friends get confused, because my social behaviour doesn't jive with general view of introverts. I have to remind them that 91/2 times out of 10 I prefer staying home with a good book over going out to a party/for a night out. And I don't do relationships because I have to spend my alone time with a person I don't know that well.

I prefer to write about extroverts because I think my social persona is mostly wishful playacting and I enjoy imagining characters who aren't so in their own heads all the time. It's a nice break...while I'm conjuring it in my own head.

FlaDan
04-26-2014, 05:10 PM
I am a full introvert but to survive in the real world of work I play a role of the full extrovert. But once I leave work my real persona comes flooding back.

It always floors my wife (extrovert) how I switch it on and off.

Kaylinn57
04-30-2014, 04:25 PM
I don't think anyone would ever mistake me for an extrovert, even in public. But I am generally described as a friendly happy person by the people who know me. Unless you talk to my really close friends and then I'm super snarky. Still friendly, just more sarcastic than happy.

All of my friends and acquaintances know that I don't really talk in group settings unless you ask me a specific question. The only time I'm really talkative with anyone I don't know is when I'm doing my job, which is customer service, so I have to answer questions over the phone. Other than that, I don't really say much.

I guess you could say that on top of being an introvert I'm also very shy.

Of course, once you get me talking, sometimes I have a hard time shutting up. :)

Jehhillenberg
04-30-2014, 06:37 PM
I don't think anyone would ever mistake me for an extrovert, even in public. But I am generally described as a friendly happy person by the people who know me. Unless you talk to my really close friends and then I'm super snarky. Still friendly, just more sarcastic than happy.

All of my friends and acquaintances know that I don't really talk in group settings unless you ask me a specific question. The only time I'm really talkative with anyone I don't know is when I'm doing my job, which is customer service, so I have to answer questions over the phone. Other than that, I don't really say much.

I guess you could say that on top of being an introvert I'm also very shy.

Of course, once you get me talking, sometimes I have a hard time shutting up. :)

:hi:

Then you aren't shy, Kaylinn. I don't think, at least! You described the textbook Introvert. :)

Shy is more of a crippling fear that keeps one from talking and being involved with others when they really want to. They can also be this way around friends and family. Shy people want to be around others, but there's a hindrance of fear.

Whereas introversion is more like personality. I think we get lost in our heads with our own thoughts -- like off in la-la-land. Haha. Introverts are just fine being on their own, as well as being social with others. It's just draining after a while. We talk when we have something to say or are interested in a subject, and go on and on about it.

Being "quiet and reserved in large groups or around unfamiliar people" is a trait of introversion -- yet people quickly write it off as being shy. Which I. Cannot. Stand. (maybe because it comes off as negative and trying to change a person, like we should be this way when we're born this way instead)

I think introverts are very much misunderstood in general by lots of people who aren't so. People can be shy AND be introverted. But they're not interchangeable terms. That just irks me when more 'outgoing' people conflate them.

:Soapbox: :D

Jehhillenberg
04-30-2014, 06:41 PM
I am a full introvert but to survive in the real world of work I play a role of the full extrovert. But once I leave work my real persona comes flooding back.

It always floors my wife (extrovert) how I switch it on and off.

Oh yes, yes indeed. I put it on for the outside world. Like performing! :)

HeavyAirship
05-03-2014, 07:03 PM
People are often surprised at how good an actor I am whenever I do it for a game or something. But they don't realize that I've been acting the whole time they've "known" me. MWAHAHAHAHA.

Nancyleeny
05-04-2014, 02:26 PM
Hi,
This is so interesting! So many introverts who act like extroverts.

I always thought I was an extrovert, until a smart therapist said, "You're an introvert with excellent extrovert skills." In other words, acting. It clicked with me then as to the reason I always had my nose in a book my whole childhood, and why after teaching all day, I need to decompress alone. Also, why I used to have to drink to do anything social.

I don't drink anymore, so I rarely go to parties with lots of people, noise, energy. Other people's energy messes me up. I do love music, though, so I can go to musical events.

I think being a writer and an introvert makes perfect sense!
Nancy

Mikilao
05-04-2014, 07:33 PM
I love this article so much I would post it on Facebook (if I had one). Only 1 myth I would say was completely true about myself. I hate people but then again I work in Restaurants so I feel facekicking parents of unruly children is acceptable in fine dining. Hence why I have no friends with kids or friends at all.
I march to the beat of my own drum and especially on the anti facebook thing!

Nice to finally have a name to call my social disorder.

sic_scripsit
05-05-2014, 07:04 AM
Hello. 8^) I'm new here. I'm an INFP, but I fall pretty close to the middle of the spectrum so I can be extroverted if need be - but I need my alone time to recharge. Anyway, thought I'd poop into the conversation and say hi. 8^)

POP... thought I'd POP into the conversation... nAw... (facepalm)

...did I mention I'm socially awkward, too? 8^/

jerrimander
05-05-2014, 07:11 AM
Hello. 8^) I'm new here. I'm an INFP, but I fall pretty close to the middle of the spectrum so I can be extroverted if need be - but I need my alone time to recharge. Anyway, thought I'd poop into the conversation and say hi. 8^)

POP... thought I'd POP into the conversation... nAw... (facepalm)

...did I mention I'm socially awkward, too? 8^/

I think I can safely say, you'll shit in just fine round here, sic. I mean, FIT.

sic_scripsit
05-05-2014, 07:52 AM
Huzzah! :hooray:

(I love that word :D )

Noniej
05-05-2014, 09:23 AM
I am a full introvert but to survive in the real world of work I play a role of the full extrovert. But once I leave work my real persona comes flooding back.

It always floors my wife (extrovert) how I switch it on and off.

Everyone at work thinks I'm a bit zany and crazy but I'll still sit all day at my desk without actually saying more than a few words to anyone. I talk a lot about things that interest me too but can't do chit chat to save my life. I'm the one who says stupid things or just doesn't have a rejoinder in the lift.

I have to organise drinks every two weeks and if I can, I leave early but if I can't leave, I drift around the edges until I find someone who wants to have an actual conversation.

That makes me sound like a right weirdo :-)

I too seem to attract extroverts - I'll really enjoy them the first time I meet them and can walk myself into situations where I agree to see them again but I run out of patience and interest at about the same time because they're just too much for me.

I can relate to most everyone's experiences on here. I'm so pleased to have found you.

Mikilao
05-05-2014, 04:29 PM
I find extroverts very attracted to me as well. So, I think us being inside our heads make us great listeners and those like to talk to anyone need good listeners. We're the other side of the coin. Attracted like magnets for being opposites.
I think my only problem with having the extroverted people in my life, is they don't listen! there are maybe a few minutes I can grab their attention but then the conversation can go right back to them.

Kaylinn57
05-06-2014, 09:23 PM
:hi:

Then you aren't shy, Kaylinn. I don't think, at least! You described the textbook Introvert. :)

Shy is more of a crippling fear that keeps one from talking and being involved with others when they really want to. They can also be this way around friends and family. Shy people want to be around others, but there's a hindrance of fear.

Whereas introversion is more like personality. I think we get lost in our heads with our own thoughts -- like off in la-la-land. Haha. Introverts are just fine being on their own, as well as being social with others. It's just draining after a while. We talk when we have something to say or are interested in a subject, and go on and on about it.

Being "quiet and reserved in large groups or around unfamiliar people" is a trait of introversion -- yet people quickly write it off as being shy. Which I. Cannot. Stand. (maybe because it comes off as negative and trying to change a person, like we should be this way when we're born this way instead)

I think introverts are very much misunderstood in general by lots of people who aren't so. People can be shy AND be introverted. But they're not interchangeable terms. That just irks me when more 'outgoing' people conflate them.

:Soapbox: :D

You're right, I did just describe an introvert, not a shy person. :) The funny thing is though, I am shy on top of being the introvert I described.

You mentioned that element of fear that is part of being shy. Yeah, I have that. I'm a lot less fearful now than I used to be, but I still worry about everything I do and say.

Because I am shy (and I did have people tell me that it was what was wrong with me) it took me a long time to realize that I'm also an introvert. I thought I was just scared all the time, not that I also genuinely needed time by myself to recharge.

Thankfully I don't have that problem as much any more, since discovering the wonderful world of introversion. :)

KellyAssauer
05-07-2014, 01:18 AM
Shhh...

Did you guys see?

The extroverts have their own thread now.

We can tippy-toe over there and watch them!
as if we were alien sociologists,
or lurkers, or just Jane Goodall.

:D

Mikilao
05-07-2014, 03:21 AM
ATM @ A WINE TASTING and sitting in a corner posting on Aw rather than interacting with people. Sad but brought up a good question..

Do you think being introverted make you a push over or passive?

KellyAssauer
05-07-2014, 02:37 PM
Do you think being introverted make you a push over or passive?

I don't see push-over being synonymous with passive. I might be passive in social settings in that I don't dive into the fray and would rather observe from a distance, but that doesn't mean I'm a pushover.

Get me comfortable or on home turf and I can be very adamant. I know what I want and can often express it. To be fair though, it is something I had to learn. There may have been times when I was younger and I went along with whatever - simply because someone else led the way, but I blame that on my own inexperience more than anything else.

I still have trouble articulating needs or wants. I'm often too subtle and would rather hint than blurt. I'm learning now that it's my own fault if I'm disappointed with other people when they fail to magically devise what I'm thinking...

LocalWriter
05-08-2014, 06:37 AM
Shhh...

Did you guys see?

The extroverts have their own thread now.

We can tippy-toe over there and watch them!
as if we were alien sociologists,
or lurkers, or just Jane Goodall.

:D

too funny

jeffo
05-08-2014, 03:57 PM
:e2point: Yes.

iLion
05-08-2014, 08:40 PM
I just ran into this place and thought...

Well, maybe I could say something here. Sure.. something.
I don't know.
I mean it's probably ok. Sure.. it's probably fine.
Altho... I don't know. I mean, what would I even say? I mean.. no one is going to care what I say. Not really.
'Oh... go ahead iLion!', I thought. Just do it! Just say something.. anything! Doesn't matter what.
They're all friendly, right? All in the same writer's mindset and all?

But, in the end, I'm just not that outspoken, and decided to
not say anything at all.

Kaylinn57
05-09-2014, 06:49 PM
Do you think being introverted make you a push over or passive?


I don't see push-over being synonymous with passive. I might be passive in social settings in that I don't dive into the fray and would rather observe from a distance, but that doesn't mean I'm a pushover.

Get me comfortable or on home turf and I can be very adamant. I know what I want and can often express it. To be fair though, it is something I had to learn. There may have been times when I was younger and I went along with whatever - simply because someone else led the way, but I blame that on my own inexperience more than anything else.


I'm with Kelly. I don't think passive and push-over are necessarily synonymous. I too can be rather passive in social situations, but can be very adamant in more comfortable settings.

iLion
05-09-2014, 06:58 PM
Defnitely agree KayLinn57. Being an essentially quiet person, and often introverted, I am sometimes taken for un-engaged in social or business settings by those who don'tr know me. Of course, most of us in that mode are really taking everything in and analyzing as we go, rather than blurting out whatever goofiness comes to mind. An interesting advantage we have all experienced, I'm sure, is that when we quiet types do speak up, those around us often want to hear what we have to say.

shahrazad
05-09-2014, 07:37 PM
I find extroverts very attracted to me as well. So, I think us being inside our heads make us great listeners and those like to talk to anyone need good listeners. We're the other side of the coin. Attracted like magnets for being opposites.
I think my only problem with having the extroverted people in my life, is they don't listen! there are maybe a few minutes I can grab their attention but then the conversation can go right back to them.
Not all extroverts are talkative and all about themselves, so you might have better luck with the shy and quiet ones. Most of my friends are extroverts and they come in all shades of talkativeness and self-centeredness .

Moriar
05-09-2014, 08:01 PM
Oh, I am happy I have found this thread.
I found AW a few years ago but I just basically lurked and sponged up all the fun, interesting and useful things other people wrote.
Now I thought: it's time! I thought it fitting that my first post after many months is in a thread for introverts :)
I am one. Hello.

I can do fine in crowds, but usually don't find anything interesting to say to a lot of people. That is why I am quiet, mostly silent, and find it difficult to find friends.
I've been called cold and arrogant -I'm hopeless at small chit-chat and I don't care about shoes or celebrities or whatever. Which is not just because I'm an introvert but hey, I'm a writer and voracious reader too. Usually not the best combination! People are surprised that I'm actually quite goofy -not many have seen this side of me, though.

So... well just wanted to say hi, nice to meet you. I'll shut up now!

iLion
05-09-2014, 09:13 PM
Wow, Moriar... "Total Posts: 1"! I'm glad and honored to be the one to follow you first. :)
Welcome to AW. Hope to see you here more.

KellyAssauer
05-09-2014, 10:05 PM
Ooo! I so agree. What a wonderful post! Thank you Morair.

I too have been labeled conceded and arrogant and I couldn't for the life of me understand why people saw me like that. What it comes down to is my being so quiet. Apparently I come off as someone that can't be bothered with such mind-numbing everyday subjects like kitchen tile colors? It's not that I don't have an opinion, I'm just under way too much pressure and anxiety to give it. I want out of there. I need to get out of there and I can't escape...

Everyday living is hard enough for me, and they don't get that. It's all too easy for them.

Moriar
05-10-2014, 02:45 AM
Oh, thank you both!
Yes, iLion, I do hope to stick around. Being among writers and introverts is a treat :o

And KellyAssauer I understand what you mean.
Sometimes it's even a look bordering on pity "Oh poor you, you probably don't know what to say". Which for us introverts can be true or not -as you say, you may have an opinion even if you don't share it aloud. I find it funny when people act surprised when I do say something relevant to a conversation. But then again, I've been known to say "Just because I don't talk about it, doesn't mean I don't know about it."

Chrissy
05-18-2014, 03:34 AM
Dear Birthday-Party-Throwing Parents,

It seems to me that if you've allocated three hours for the above referenced birthday party, after which the invitees' parents arrive to retrieve said invitees, then at the very least, the candles should have been lit, the song sung, and the cake eaten.

And no, I'm very sorry, but I don't actually want to stay and wait for that very basic and yet inexplicably delayed birthday party tradition. I'm an introvert, you see, and my idea of 'fun' is not to stand around in a group of total strangers so that my kid can have a piece of your kid's cake.

After picking up my cakeless kid from your party, we went immediately to the grocery store, where I purchased cake supplies, took sad child home, and baked cake.

So, as it turns out, I can't really stay upset at your appalling lack of planning and foresight, because.... cake.

Sincerely,

Introvert, With Cake

KellyAssauer
05-18-2014, 04:50 AM
Introvert with worry.

I'd never heard of this (http://psychcentral.com/disorders/avoidant-personality-disorder-symptoms/) before, and it really frightens me.

=(

jeffo
05-18-2014, 05:27 AM
I avoid other people pretty much every chance I get.

KellyAssauer
05-18-2014, 05:30 AM
I'm okay one on one...

but so many of those AvPD behaviors really hit home.

Chrissy
05-18-2014, 06:36 AM
Introvert with worry.

I'd never heard of this (http://psychcentral.com/disorders/avoidant-personality-disorder-symptoms/) before, and it really frightens me.

=(Yeah, I can relate to that. Primarily in social settings it is quite an apt description.

Weirdly maybe (?) in professional situations I do okay. I've come to think that in professional situations there is a purpose that I can latch on to and focus on. There isn't so much of a this random idea of "socializing." There are facts to be communicated, conclusions to be reached. I can do that.

When it's all open...nebulous...esoteric...(and if don't have the time I need to hide behind a keyboard and internet connection in order to construct a thought, let alone a response to one)... I really suck at that. And it sucks.

moniquehodge
05-18-2014, 07:03 PM
I'm a introvert who majors in English at university.

That is not an introverted major at all. Class participation is the bane of my existence. I'm a listener, not a conversationalist. Sometimes I feel as if I'm the only one who is like: "Yes! A ten page essay on a poet I hate!" just because I can finally show what I am capable of.

HeavyAirship
05-20-2014, 05:35 PM
I've started reading the book "Quiet"; lot's of encouraging stuff for introverts.



Also, I love sunglasses! I can look people in the face without feeling the overwhelming need to look away after a split second.

moniquehodge
05-20-2014, 07:15 PM
I've started reading the book "Quiet"; lot's of encouraging stuff for introverts.



Also, I love sunglasses! I can look people in the face without feeling the overwhelming need to look away after a split second.

I love that book. I haven't finished it yet, but another similar book you might enjoy is Introvert Power by Laurie Helgoe.

iLion
05-20-2014, 08:07 PM
As one who is about to retire... I've told boss, multiple times, I will not tolerate any retirement party. And I've followed that up with, "Well, you all can have a party if you want to, but just know that I won't be there."
:)

Wicked
02-14-2016, 07:17 AM
Thread resurrection!

Being introverted doesn't mean you have a personality disorder. Lots of traits overlap with other things. Doesn't mean you can't have both, but doesn't mean you do.


I took one of those "do you have a personality disorder" online tests today.

At the end, there were red or green buttons, that indicated whether you were more or less likely to have one of the disorders. I lit the red lights up on that list like it was a freaking Valentines Day parade.

"Oh, look, there's two I don't have. Guess I should have studied more. Didn't realize there would be a test."

What I took away from it was, they don't know what the hell's wrong with me, either, so I'm not going to worry too much about it.