I want to know if this is well translated from swedish to english and if it is an interesting story concept. I have more written but I only want to show this for the beta readers.
Chapter 1
In the Belgrade city, everyone live a normal life: full of stress, love, dissapointments and addictions. The secret thing about the city is that there lives another kind with the same concepts but very abnormal from the usual human behaviours. Vampires. They can slaughter a man for blood, become in love with a mortal being and turn against their body-written rules to live a vampire life.
It is wednesday, december, 2032. Viktor is a veterinary in Europes oldest city, Belgrade. He has always gone hand in hand with biology teaching but never dared to work at a hospital full with human blood.
"It's 8 pm, Viktor. Time to quit the job." his colleague, Katarina, tells him.
"Yes. Wait a moment. I must finish my journal. I will soon go home. You go." he says.
Katarina closes the door gently and head towards her home. Viktor, almost red-faced, is once again his real self when no one is around. He gets so much anxiety when he has not gotten blood in a whole 8 hour job shift. The blood bag is just five meters away. But he can't act normal, he uses his vampire force to quickly get there. He swigs everything in him like a pig.
"Suck for power..." he repeats a few times. He doesn't feel good being a bloodsucker and immortal. Many of his friends have died and he has been forced to lay everything behind him. Onehundred-twentyfive years old, but a body like a youth.
"Bah... it vanishes like the wind... we are not made to have conscience. No, what am I saying, I'm not like that... I can't." he mumbles to himself. Somebody knocks at the door. It's Katarina that says that she forgot her keys. Viktor gets surprised but not paralyzed by the fear. He runs immediately to the water tap and washes the blood off and perfume himself.
He opens the door that he locked to not highlight evidence to his beloved colleague that vampires exist.
"God, Viktor, it smells really strong parfume here." she says and looks strangely at him.
"Well... I am going to visit a girl I met through a buddy. We are going to talk about plans for the holiday and stuff... funny talk, you know." he saves himself from the pinched situation.
"I came to get my keys. Do you want company to the bus stop?" she asks him with a smile on her lips.
"Oh no no. I am going to get a ride from my friend. I told him to sweep behind the building and he is probably here now." he says nervously.
"Okay. Take care." she says and goes to the bus stop.
He waits until he is sure that she is not nearby, and hurries inside. And takes another blood bag. Wonderful, it feels like a flow of nirvana that cleanses away all worries. It's time to go home now, he thinks, and puts on his chain boots, goes out and locks the door with the work key. Continues down the stairs and out the gate, takes a deep breath and starts to go with light steps in the frozen grass. The bus has stood at the bus stop quite long now, he must hurry himself. It's night, and probably no one will notice if he runs twohundred kilometers in one hour to the bus. He does it and shows his bus pass to the driver. The driver nods gloomy. His face suggests that he doesn't care if he has a pass or not, he just wants to finish work and go home as soon as possible. Viktor takes a seat furthest away in the back row to not be seen. A drunk old man sits down next to him. The drunkard begins to talk a lot of crap with himself and then looks funny at Viktor.
"Hey. You know what?" he mumbles to Viktor.
"No, what?" he answers him.
"You are ugly!" he says and laughs straight at Viktors face.
Viktor shows his sharp teeth and hisses. The old man gets scared, and believes he has become a schizofrenic from the alkohol and faints.
The bus stops at a bus stop and some teenagers enter it, howling girls and hooligan screaming boys. They go as usual to the back row of the bus, where Viktor is sitting, and one of them says:
"Look at the dude. He is completely drunked!"
Viktor stays quiet like a mouse to not create any sort of confusion between the teenagers.
The boy continues to speak: "Lets take his stuff! Look, he has new a cell phone! Damn, I'll take that!"
A girl tells him to let the poor thing be.
The boy says: "Oh, check this out, he has recorded something. Lets listen!"
They hear how he speaks to the driver about that he wants to offer him some beer and that he later says that he will be in the back row furtest away if the driver wants some beer. Then he begins to speak with himself, about his unfortunate life and a few bitches he had learnt to know in his life. Viktor starts getting a bit scared that they hear when he frightens the drunk man. The bus stops at the next bus stop and Viktor rises, quickly takes the cell phone and putts the boy. He runs outside in time precisely when there is a short hiss from the cell phone. The boy gets up and looks through the window, but he sees no glimpse of him.
Viktor runs in his vampire form through the forest all 10km home. No werewolves or fairies could stop him. And there were no one that dared, or showed themselves for him in the forest. It could be because there are many vampires living in this city,
Viktor is home now. He slams the door and lays himself on the sofa. He doesn't see his friend, Alex, that is behind the door. Standing there with his crossed arms in the edge of the hall and bulge his lips and also makes a sound to joke that he feels sorry for him.
"The bat that wants to be a imaginary Batman instead of a real vampire. What a pity it is for you..." he says a bit challenging to Viktor.
Viktor rubs himself against the sofas cushions and says:
"Ugh... shut up. I haven't had a good day. Let me rest at least."
"It is vampire meeting tomorrow. Do not forget it. Oh and some vampires are going to get revived from their coffins. Jeez, they're 600 years old" says Alex and laughs.
"Mhm... they were allowed to sleep in peace though." says a more tired Viktor.
Alexs temperament begins to rise up to the throat.
"Viktor. I care about you! That is why i remind you of it. These vampires are extremely conservative and must live somewhere. You know it's done with you if someone lives with us."
He snores loudly. Alex takes a few steps back, slowly...
"Sleep well... my friend" he whispers and turns off the lights.
A new day, still gray outside and a beginning of a blizzard. Viktor goes to the mirror to shave himself. He hurries and happens to cut a scar. He doesn't get turned on by his own blood, he sees his blood as more noble and beautiful than the humans. But he glides down the wound with his finger and licks the top to feel how immortal he is. It doesn't taste like a mortal being.
Viktor left the door open to the bathroom. In comes Alex and pushes him towards the wall.
"What the hell are you doing?!" he screams at Alex.
"You need more blood, my friend. Don't you see that you have gotten worse? Your power is wasted and you, my dear friend, will not stay anymore as a vampire if you do this to yourself. There's one thing you haven't seen, and that's when vampires become nasty little zombie creatures when THEY DON'T DRINK BLOOD!", says Alex and gives him a bump again against the wall.
Viktor hisses and says "Let me live my life as I want to. If I become a zombie, then we will see eachother in hell... sooner or later!" and shrugs off his grip.
Viktor leaves the bathroom and Alex slams the door hard and says "he only wanted your best when he chose you.". He dresses himself up fast and leaves for job. There's going to be yet again a temptation at job, he thinks, and puts on his cap.
He yells at taxi that slowly drives towards him. The taxi stops one meter away from him and he goes in and says "To Cukarica!" to the driver.
At his job he takes care of a gray jako parrot with insane temper. "Yes, i'm used to it." he smiles when the patients master looks at him a little embarrassing.
He sews together the wing that he surged in about half an hour counted with the birds time to sleep.
"There, now the parrot can continue to play at home with master." he says and puts the parrot in the cage.
The owner thanks a thousand times and leaves with her.
Viktors neck hurts from all the work and he decides to rest and massage his neck.
Katarina comes in and looks a bit surprised that Viktor is not doing anything. She asks him if he doesn't feel good, because he has a tough and angered look.
"The neck. It doesn't want to listen to me." he says.
"Oh... my mom is used to that. Hm... let me fix your muscles."
"She presses on the neck with her fingers and then turns around a bit at different directions and later suprises him with a quick neck bulking.
Chapter 1
In the Belgrade city, everyone live a normal life: full of stress, love, dissapointments and addictions. The secret thing about the city is that there lives another kind with the same concepts but very abnormal from the usual human behaviours. Vampires. They can slaughter a man for blood, become in love with a mortal being and turn against their body-written rules to live a vampire life.
It is wednesday, december, 2032. Viktor is a veterinary in Europes oldest city, Belgrade. He has always gone hand in hand with biology teaching but never dared to work at a hospital full with human blood.
"It's 8 pm, Viktor. Time to quit the job." his colleague, Katarina, tells him.
"Yes. Wait a moment. I must finish my journal. I will soon go home. You go." he says.
Katarina closes the door gently and head towards her home. Viktor, almost red-faced, is once again his real self when no one is around. He gets so much anxiety when he has not gotten blood in a whole 8 hour job shift. The blood bag is just five meters away. But he can't act normal, he uses his vampire force to quickly get there. He swigs everything in him like a pig.
"Suck for power..." he repeats a few times. He doesn't feel good being a bloodsucker and immortal. Many of his friends have died and he has been forced to lay everything behind him. Onehundred-twentyfive years old, but a body like a youth.
"Bah... it vanishes like the wind... we are not made to have conscience. No, what am I saying, I'm not like that... I can't." he mumbles to himself. Somebody knocks at the door. It's Katarina that says that she forgot her keys. Viktor gets surprised but not paralyzed by the fear. He runs immediately to the water tap and washes the blood off and perfume himself.
He opens the door that he locked to not highlight evidence to his beloved colleague that vampires exist.
"God, Viktor, it smells really strong parfume here." she says and looks strangely at him.
"Well... I am going to visit a girl I met through a buddy. We are going to talk about plans for the holiday and stuff... funny talk, you know." he saves himself from the pinched situation.
"I came to get my keys. Do you want company to the bus stop?" she asks him with a smile on her lips.
"Oh no no. I am going to get a ride from my friend. I told him to sweep behind the building and he is probably here now." he says nervously.
"Okay. Take care." she says and goes to the bus stop.
He waits until he is sure that she is not nearby, and hurries inside. And takes another blood bag. Wonderful, it feels like a flow of nirvana that cleanses away all worries. It's time to go home now, he thinks, and puts on his chain boots, goes out and locks the door with the work key. Continues down the stairs and out the gate, takes a deep breath and starts to go with light steps in the frozen grass. The bus has stood at the bus stop quite long now, he must hurry himself. It's night, and probably no one will notice if he runs twohundred kilometers in one hour to the bus. He does it and shows his bus pass to the driver. The driver nods gloomy. His face suggests that he doesn't care if he has a pass or not, he just wants to finish work and go home as soon as possible. Viktor takes a seat furthest away in the back row to not be seen. A drunk old man sits down next to him. The drunkard begins to talk a lot of crap with himself and then looks funny at Viktor.
"Hey. You know what?" he mumbles to Viktor.
"No, what?" he answers him.
"You are ugly!" he says and laughs straight at Viktors face.
Viktor shows his sharp teeth and hisses. The old man gets scared, and believes he has become a schizofrenic from the alkohol and faints.
The bus stops at a bus stop and some teenagers enter it, howling girls and hooligan screaming boys. They go as usual to the back row of the bus, where Viktor is sitting, and one of them says:
"Look at the dude. He is completely drunked!"
Viktor stays quiet like a mouse to not create any sort of confusion between the teenagers.
The boy continues to speak: "Lets take his stuff! Look, he has new a cell phone! Damn, I'll take that!"
A girl tells him to let the poor thing be.
The boy says: "Oh, check this out, he has recorded something. Lets listen!"
They hear how he speaks to the driver about that he wants to offer him some beer and that he later says that he will be in the back row furtest away if the driver wants some beer. Then he begins to speak with himself, about his unfortunate life and a few bitches he had learnt to know in his life. Viktor starts getting a bit scared that they hear when he frightens the drunk man. The bus stops at the next bus stop and Viktor rises, quickly takes the cell phone and putts the boy. He runs outside in time precisely when there is a short hiss from the cell phone. The boy gets up and looks through the window, but he sees no glimpse of him.
Viktor runs in his vampire form through the forest all 10km home. No werewolves or fairies could stop him. And there were no one that dared, or showed themselves for him in the forest. It could be because there are many vampires living in this city,
Viktor is home now. He slams the door and lays himself on the sofa. He doesn't see his friend, Alex, that is behind the door. Standing there with his crossed arms in the edge of the hall and bulge his lips and also makes a sound to joke that he feels sorry for him.
"The bat that wants to be a imaginary Batman instead of a real vampire. What a pity it is for you..." he says a bit challenging to Viktor.
Viktor rubs himself against the sofas cushions and says:
"Ugh... shut up. I haven't had a good day. Let me rest at least."
"It is vampire meeting tomorrow. Do not forget it. Oh and some vampires are going to get revived from their coffins. Jeez, they're 600 years old" says Alex and laughs.
"Mhm... they were allowed to sleep in peace though." says a more tired Viktor.
Alexs temperament begins to rise up to the throat.
"Viktor. I care about you! That is why i remind you of it. These vampires are extremely conservative and must live somewhere. You know it's done with you if someone lives with us."
He snores loudly. Alex takes a few steps back, slowly...
"Sleep well... my friend" he whispers and turns off the lights.
A new day, still gray outside and a beginning of a blizzard. Viktor goes to the mirror to shave himself. He hurries and happens to cut a scar. He doesn't get turned on by his own blood, he sees his blood as more noble and beautiful than the humans. But he glides down the wound with his finger and licks the top to feel how immortal he is. It doesn't taste like a mortal being.
Viktor left the door open to the bathroom. In comes Alex and pushes him towards the wall.
"What the hell are you doing?!" he screams at Alex.
"You need more blood, my friend. Don't you see that you have gotten worse? Your power is wasted and you, my dear friend, will not stay anymore as a vampire if you do this to yourself. There's one thing you haven't seen, and that's when vampires become nasty little zombie creatures when THEY DON'T DRINK BLOOD!", says Alex and gives him a bump again against the wall.
Viktor hisses and says "Let me live my life as I want to. If I become a zombie, then we will see eachother in hell... sooner or later!" and shrugs off his grip.
Viktor leaves the bathroom and Alex slams the door hard and says "he only wanted your best when he chose you.". He dresses himself up fast and leaves for job. There's going to be yet again a temptation at job, he thinks, and puts on his cap.
He yells at taxi that slowly drives towards him. The taxi stops one meter away from him and he goes in and says "To Cukarica!" to the driver.
At his job he takes care of a gray jako parrot with insane temper. "Yes, i'm used to it." he smiles when the patients master looks at him a little embarrassing.
He sews together the wing that he surged in about half an hour counted with the birds time to sleep.
"There, now the parrot can continue to play at home with master." he says and puts the parrot in the cage.
The owner thanks a thousand times and leaves with her.
Viktors neck hurts from all the work and he decides to rest and massage his neck.
Katarina comes in and looks a bit surprised that Viktor is not doing anything. She asks him if he doesn't feel good, because he has a tough and angered look.
"The neck. It doesn't want to listen to me." he says.
"Oh... my mom is used to that. Hm... let me fix your muscles."
"She presses on the neck with her fingers and then turns around a bit at different directions and later suprises him with a quick neck bulking.