Overheard

gotchan said:

We all do it—those of us who get out of the house, at least. We overhear the middles of conversations in the grocery store check out line. We catch snippets as people walk by on the street. Or we hear half of a conversation courtesy of a bluetoothed suit. (Does anyone else find it hard these days to tell the difference between homeless ravers arguing with the voices in their heads and businessmen?)

The best are when you don't get enough for it to be obvious what the conversation is about. All the potential stories in an isolated fragment of life, wheeeee! Here's one of my favourites.

What have you overheard?

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I probably misheard this. As I was walking back from lunch today, a woman walking the other way said into her cell phone, " . . . my bullet proof jacket expires in August . . ."

???

Not so much overheard, but a story popped into my head as I was waiting in line late one night at the supermarket. The woman in front of me was in scrubs, obviously going home, and the only thing she was buying were four plug-in air conditioners. My author's imagination immediately jumped to covering up the smell of a decaying corpse in her apartment.

I'll probably never write it, but it's a good start to a story.

"On her way home from work Lucy made a quick stop at the supermarket to pick up some air-fresheners; the corpse on her couch was starting to smell."

We were on a trip to DC a few years back...as we were walking through a memorial park, my sister and I overheard this guy on the phone going, "...or you'll have to kill them all".

Both curiosity-inducing and confusing.

I volunteer at the county jail (teaching creative writing) and I hear all kinds of whack stuff in the waiting room. Just the other night:

Deputy: You need to go through the metal detector.
Lady (of around 20-21): What if I have an IUD?
Deputy: Excuse me?
Lady: I got an IUD. It's the metal one.
Deputy: (a young man in his mid twenties--looks to another deputy) Uh, it should be okay.
Lady: Will it set the metal detector off?
Deputy: I don't know.

I also heard this gem in the waiting room . . .

Girl (of 5 or 6ish): What's a vagina?
Mom: That's the no-no hole that boys can't touch.
Girl: Can I touch it?
Mom: Not in the waiting room.

I recorded this one in a blog post long ago, as it was great... overheard in a pet shop.

Mother: I don't want anything in a cage. How'd you like to be in a cage?
Child: Yeah, but... we're all in cages really.

Heh...there's a really funny podcast called "Stop Podcasting Yourself." Every episode they have listeners email or call in their own overheard conversations. It's incredibly funny. Highly recommended.

Polenth said:

I recorded this one in a blog post long ago, as it was great... overheard in a pet shop.

Mother: I don't want anything in a cage. How'd you like to be in a cage?
Child: Yeah, but... we're all in cages really.

Click to expand...

HAHAHHAHAHA!

That kid is destined to become a literary novelist.

I've always wanted to do an artist's book where I go to a location with plenty of foot traffic and seated people, like a sidewalk cafe. I'd get the GPS co-ordinates of the place, sketch just the buildings, and record (for later typesetting) some really outre conversations around me. Even the most-mundane ones could be fun.

Four huge scruffy construction dudes were behind our table at the local pub. My son heard one of them say, "Lady Gaga's not a hermaphrodite, dude. She's a chick."

"She kissed it and said it was really slimy."





(we were at an aquarium)

"No, that's the wrong kind of pole"

On the way to my car from class.

Indiscreet self-check voice
tells the lady,
"Put your melon on the belt."

Overheard in New York certainly has its moments. There was something similar in my university's newspaper too.

From my grandmother to my cousin, upon meeting his then fiance for the first time.

"That wasn't her name the last time she was here."

A phone conversation:

"Do they think it's the bullet in your head that's causing it?"

(And I'm cheating... I found out the story on that one later.)