HELP - Need to bounce some ideas around

Hi everyone,

I'm in the process of trying to write a short science fiction story. The key word is short story - I want to turn this into a script of no more than 6 pages at some point in the future.

Here's what has come to me so far. Any ideas, suggestions, whatnot would be most appreciated! Keep in mind that this is all brainstorming and quite rough =)

I'm seeing three characters at most, two of which would need to be characterized well, the third less so. I'm getting glimpses of a political figure of some sort sitting on a judgement seat a la Rome. He's clearly THE one in charge. The story seems to be narrated by one of this political figures body guards (bodyguardA for lack of a better name). I get the feeling that a war is happening offworld and the leader is has power over one of two great factions.

Now comes the odd part.. I'm seeing a character with a marking of some sort on his body (maybe a tattoo? Or perhaps something more scientifically advanced?) which indicates his allegiance to a sect of anti-governement rebels turned assassin. The presence of this rebel group seems to permeate the society in distressing frequency though the political figures refuse to acknowledge the group. I see this character using his association with this sect to gain access to the "high level political figure" in an assassination attempt. Maybe he's even someone the political figure knows and therefore does not suspect? Somehow the assassination attempt (which seems to utilize a composite knife due to its ease of hiding and undetectable signature. Of course the government is not prepared for or expecting this sort of "crude" means of assassination) doesn't go as planned and one body guard is killed in the process. Bodyguard A from above responds by killing the assassin.

The assassination attemp has a profound affect on the people (for which reason I'm still trying to discover). It turns out in the end that the "Bodyguard A" is also a member of this rebel group and the whole event was planned as it unfolded (ie the bodyguard was supposed to kill his own assassin friend). What I'm struggling with is the reason for this strange turn of events. Why does the act of attempted assassination matter so much? Why not just assassinate the guy if the group is a bunch of rebels? What is to gain for the rebel group? How do I make these characters unique? What role does science play in all of this (it seems to perhaps be related to the agenda of the rebel group).

Help! I've hit a wall and need some people with which to bounce this idea around!

Thanks for taking the time to respond. It's much appreciated. I'm used to bouncing ideas back and forth with a close friend but he has recently re-located so I'm left to my own devices.

Oooh great idea! That certainly gives me something to ponder. Thank you!

I've also been wondering if the reason might be due to some technology? Maybe to "prove" that something works - or doesn't work? Argh I don't know. I feel the story needs a bit more science but the place for it keep eluding me.

Ok, new issue. At this point there really isn't any one character that changes in some way. It's also slighly ambiguous who the story is really about. Anyone have some ideas?

I'm thinking that maybe if I have the Guard be the one who the story revolves around. Make it so his decision to actually go through with killing the assassin (a person he knows) is difficult the real reason isn't revealed until the end of the story (at the same time the rest is revealed). Somehow I'm not sure that works though.

Wow fast reply! Thanks for all the help Cathy.

You make a good point. I'm just not sure how to translate that into a visual medium though (as I eventually will want to translate it onto film). It's easy to show actions but not easy to show what a character is thinking. I'm worried that showing the politician hanging around with a worried look on his face might not sell the viewer on the reality of the assasination plot. Then again, maybe it would do just the opposite? I like the "behind the scenes reactions" idea. That could be quite powerful visually.

The only reason I wondered about perhaps doing it from the guards perspective is that he's the one who actually has to pull a weapon and kill the assassin (of coures this is entirely moot if the guard isn't a member of the rebel group). That could be visually powerful.

Lots to think about!

One thing that is really bothering me is the lack of ties to technology and its affect on the human condition. I know the definition of Sci-Fi is broad but this almost feels like its closer to fantasy than sci-fi.

*sigh* Anyone have an idea? Anyone care to point out something I should go back and look at? Maybe take the story in a similar but different direction?

Oh wow, it's been forever since I've seen the old version of Dune (off topic but seeing Patrick Stewart in that movie always makes me laugh for some reason). I'll have to go find a copy and refresh my memory. Thank you.

As for technology and the motivation of the rebel group; I'm beginning to feel that the rebels believe the government supressed/changed history regarding some technology that would impact everyones lives (for worse more likely than better). I'm not sure how to integrate that with an assassination plot.

Hmm interesting. For some reason I'm not feeling that cover for a third person is ideal. Can't explain it rationally.

Here's a thought I had last night:

What if at this point in time war has effectively become an ineffective means of achieving an end? The only real way to make change is through the shoddy political system? In which case a faked assassination would open some door [not sure what] for the rebels. The narration could start with a brief intro of the ancient wars and technological advances that lead to the current ineffectiveness of war (ties in technology without being overly blatant about it) and then delves into the meat of the story? Some variation on that maybe?

The third person idea is very interesting. I'll have to think about that one.