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Jimayo
10-21-2011, 02:43 AM
I think they should sub-title it: Butchering a classic.

What a travesty.

Sheryl Nantus
10-21-2011, 02:53 AM
Going to see it tomorrow night.

I'm thinking it's not going to stick to the original story too much. Got that from the airships, ninjas and flying death bullets.

:D

mulcahy67
10-21-2011, 03:21 AM
looks freaking awful. Paul W.S. Anderson is a tremendously bad director, littering everything with over-stylized, slow-motion action sequences and about as much of a dumb story as he can be bothered to fill his film with.

and of course, Milla Jovovich will hand in another laughable performance, i'm sure.

Zoombie
10-21-2011, 03:33 AM
She was awesome in the Fifth Element. I mostly blame a director more focused on showing off how hot she is for SOME BIZARRE REASON.

*side eyes Paul W.S Anderson*

Alessandra Kelley
10-21-2011, 03:37 AM
I am so behind the times. I thought this thread referred to the Raquel Welch, Michael York, Richard Chamberlain one.

So, there's a new one?

BenPanced
10-21-2011, 03:44 AM
In 3-D, even. (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1509767/)

Alessandra Kelley
10-21-2011, 04:13 AM
In 3-D, even. (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1509767/)

Three *choke* D? :eek:

And what's with all the stupid black leather jackets? The -- what -- 1640s were a great time for huge, colorful, swingy men's clothing.

These guys all look like the Master from Doctor Who.

Tepelus
10-21-2011, 04:33 AM
Yeah, I think I'll skip this one.

BenPanced
10-21-2011, 05:13 AM
Three *choke* D? :eek:

And what's with all the stupid black leather jackets? The -- what -- 1640s were a great time for huge, colorful, swingy men's clothing.

These guys all look like the Master from Doctor Who.

I guess I shouldn't mention the slo-mo wire-fu, then...

donroc
10-21-2011, 05:19 AM
Saw a one-star review in the local paper. The reviewer said in the film the Muketeeers blame their unemployment on "Budget Cuts."

Manuel Royal
10-21-2011, 05:40 AM
Makes me feel like getting the Richard Lester movies on Blu-Ray. Or reading the book again.

Here's Paul W. S. Anderson's IMDB entry. (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0027271/) Absolutely nothing but shit on his resume.

Not to be confused with the director Paul Anderson. (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000759/) Lots of interesting stuff, including some great flicks. (Boogie Nights; There Will Be Blood; I also really like Punch Drunk Love and Hard Eight. Reviews were very mixed on Magnolia, though I think they all agreed there are some great scenes.)

SirOtter
10-21-2011, 08:02 AM
Makes me feel like getting the Richard Lester movies on Blu-Ray. Or reading the book again.

That's probably the best version, although I do love the Douglas Fairbanks and Gene Kelly ones, too. Hell, I'd rather watch the Ritz Brothers version than this new one.

Toothpaste
10-21-2011, 08:37 AM
I actually saw it tonight.

Don't expect it to be a faithful adaptation (though they actually use one of the plot lines as a basic story structure). Don't expect the writing to be fantastic or the acting fab across the board (the romantic interest is . . . ugh).

But, you know what, it was awfully silly fun. The action in enjoyable, the sword fights impressive (and not all CGI either), and the three musketeers themselves are all very good actors and great gents that you've appreciated in other films/television. And Christoph Waltz, as usual, is delightful as the Cardinal. Heck Orlando Bloom is having an awfully fun time being bad.

The best thing is that the film never pretends to be anything other than campy over the top ridiculousness, so you can enjoy it for what it is. Not likely to stay with you much after you've seen it, but a nice way to spend a couple of hours.

(and yes, the air ships are absurd, but if you like Steampunk - and I do - it's still neat, and they are a plot point so not just one of those, "Oh and btw, we also have ships in the sky for some unknown reason.")


ETA: and yes they blame their situation on "budget cuts" but that's one of a few things they list, and it's meant to be a laugh. This really isn't a film that takes itself seriously.

telford
10-21-2011, 10:32 AM
Looks like a whole lot of fun but before I head off to the cinema does anyone know where I can get some really powerful drugs?
(Kidding, just kidding. I don't like cinemas.)

Diana Hignutt
10-21-2011, 03:42 PM
The last good 3M adaptation was The Musketeer with Justin Chambers, Tim Roth, and Tim Curry.

Diana Hignutt
10-21-2011, 03:43 PM
Makes me feel like getting the Richard Lester movies on Blu-Ray. Or reading the book again.

Here's Paul W. S. Anderson's IMDB entry. (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0027271/) Absolutely nothing but shit on his resume.

Not to be confused with the director Paul Anderson. (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000759/) Lots of interesting stuff, including some great flicks. (Boogie Nights; There Will Be Blood; I also really like Punch Drunk Love and Hard Eight. Reviews were very mixed on Magnolia, though I think they all agreed there are some great scenes.)

He invented the Haunted Spaceship motiff with Event Horizon which isn't a bad movie, imho.

Manuel Royal
10-21-2011, 03:57 PM
He invented the Haunted Spaceship motif with Event Horizon which isn't a bad movie, imho.No, he didn't. Well, depends on what's meant by "haunted". One could argue for 1979's Alien (although that owed a lot to the 1958 It! The Terror From Beyond Space). And there's another relevant one I can't quite recall.

Paul W. S. Anderson is a witless hack.


The last good 3M adaptation was The Musketeer with Justin Chambers, Tim Roth, and Tim Curry.I believe you're conflating The Musketeer (2001, with Justin Chambers and Tim Roth) and the Disney movie The Three Musketeers (1993, with Tim Curry as a comic book villain version of Cardinal Richelieu). Both were bad movies.

areteus
10-21-2011, 04:56 PM
I've always had a fondness for the Micheal York version, but then it was frightfully English and nary an American in sight and anything with Christopher Lee in it has to be excellent. By law. :)

The Man in the Iron Mask is not a bad film though I am never sure about John Malkovich in it - he seems to be too wooden in it for me and I know he is a better actor than that. It is possibly one of the more faithful adaptations of a Dumas novel.

Calla Lily
10-21-2011, 05:01 PM
If we're talking The Man in the Iron Mask--the 1939(?) version with Louis Hayward, Warren William, and an absolutely stellar cast is the way to go. I know it's hugely condensed and takes liberties, but I have to admit that I am unable to slog through a Dumas novel--and I've repeatedly tried. This version is fun and action-packed, tightly directed and witty. Everything I love about swashbucklers.

I'm also in the court that thinks the Michael York/Christopher Lee Three Musketeers is the best version.

Our budget doesn't stretch to movies right now, but I plan to spring 3 bucks to rent this steampunk version when it comes out. Looks like mindless fun. Def. my kind of movie.

Diana Hignutt
10-21-2011, 05:01 PM
No, he didn't. Well, depends on what's meant by "haunted". One could argue for 1979's Alien (although that owed a lot to the 1958 It! The Terror From Beyond Space). And there's another relevant one I can't quite recall.

Paul W. S. Anderson is a witless hack.

I believe you're conflating The Musketeer (2001, with Justin Chambers and Tim Roth) and the Disney movie The Three Musketeers (1993, with Tim Curry as a comic book villain version of Cardinal Richelieu). Both were bad movies.

Alien was a monster movie in space.

And, you're right, Shephen Rhea was the Cardinal.

We don't have to agree about our tastes in movies now, do we?

defyalllogic
10-21-2011, 06:12 PM
I think it look so fun. But I love all of Milia's movies, even the ones that are blandly shit...
I'm totally geeked for it. I'm not expecting genuine Three Musketeers but some vague reference guided by the bones of that story, like RDJr's Sherlock Holmes (or Masterpiece's Sherlock).

Torgo
10-21-2011, 06:15 PM
No, he didn't. Well, depends on what's meant by "haunted". One could argue for 1979's Alien (although that owed a lot to the 1958 It! The Terror From Beyond Space). And there's another relevant one I can't quite recall.

Paul W. S. Anderson is a witless hack.

Agreed, but EVENT HORIZON is pretty scary. By far the best of his films. I'd agree with Di that Alien is a monster movie in space, not a haunted house movie in space.

EH is kind of like a scary version of SOLARIS, IMHO.

Calla Lily
10-21-2011, 06:23 PM
RDJr's Sherlock Holmes (or Masterpiece's Sherlock).


Agreed, but EVENT HORIZON is pretty scary.

Love love love all 3 of these. Guy Ritchie's SH was an unexpected surprise. the man can direct.

Event Horizon, besides being filled with eye candy ;), IMO nailed the sense of "it's right behind you--don't look back--run faster--it's COMING--run FASTER! Run!"

Torgo
10-21-2011, 06:26 PM
Love love love all 3 of these. Guy Ritchie's SH was an unexpected surprise. the man can direct.


I'm sorry to say that if Guy Ritchie's Sherlock Holmes were a person, I would seek him out and shit in his hat.

Homewrecker
10-21-2011, 06:26 PM
I am so behind the times. I thought this thread referred to the Raquel Welch, Michael York, Richard Chamberlain one.


imho, that's the best one. :)

Calla Lily
10-21-2011, 06:28 PM
I'm sorry to say that if Guy Ritchie's Sherlock Holmes were a person, I would seek him out and shit in his hat.

:roll:

I rented the movie because the offspring wanted to see it. I was quite prepared to hate it. Once I turned off the part of my brain that looked for fidelity to the Doyle canon, I had a rollicking good time with it all.

areteus
10-21-2011, 07:06 PM
No, I was talking about the more recent version of Man in the Iron Mask. Not seen the 1939 version. There was a 1939 in movie history? :)

Gabriel Byrne makes a rather good older version of D'Artangion with his youthful enthusiasm dulled by the dark secret he keeps.

Diana Hignutt
10-21-2011, 07:35 PM
No, I was talking about the more recent version of Man in the Iron Mask. Not seen the 1939 version. There was a 1939 in movie history? :)

Gabriel Byrne makes a rather good older version of D'Artangion with his youthful enthusiasm dulled by the dark secret he keeps.

One of my all time top ten movies. Great Dumas. And Jeremy Irons is just fantastic.

scarletpeaches
10-21-2011, 07:39 PM
I think they should sub-title it: Butchering a classic.

What a travesty.This, this, a thousand times this.

Why take a fucking classic and rape it like this? If you want steampunk-and-corsets, write a new story.

Oh, wait. That's too much like hard work, isn't it? :rolleyes:

Alessandra Kelley
10-21-2011, 07:55 PM
This, this, a thousand times this.

Why take a fucking classic and rape it like this? If you want steampunk-and-corsets, write a new story.

Oh, wait. That's too much like hard work, isn't it? :rolleyes:

To be fair, corsets were involved in the Raquel Welch version also.

But ... airships?!? Steampunk pandering?

I like steampunk, but ugh.

This sounds as bad as that Will Smith "I Robot" travesty.

Calla Lily
10-21-2011, 08:02 PM
Worst travesty in movie history: Steve Martin's Roxanne.

Torgo
10-21-2011, 08:03 PM
Worst travesty in movie history: Steve Martin's Roxanne.

I like Roxanne. More and more it looks like I am going to need to challenge you to a duel.

scarletpeaches
10-21-2011, 08:06 PM
Cruel Intentions was pretty rank as well.

Alessandra Kelley
10-21-2011, 08:10 PM
I liked Steve Martin's "Roxane." But if we're calling a movie that mangles a book's plot a travesty, then yes, it's no "Cyrano de Bergerac."

I still maintain "I Robot" is infinitely worse, insofar as it's a completely different story with the title slapped on it. "Roxane" at least followed vaguely the same plot.

Calla Lily
10-21-2011, 09:17 PM
I like Roxanne. More and more it looks like I am going to need to challenge you to a duel.


Alas. Would it help to say I own more than 100 MST3Ks? We must have common ground somewhere. Manos isn't my favorite (that honor goes to the triumvirate of Deathstalker, Space Mutiny, and The Creeping Terror), but still...

Torgo
10-22-2011, 08:51 PM
Alas. Would it help to say I own more than 100 MST3Ks? We must have common ground somewhere. Manos isn't my favorite (that honor goes to the triumvirate of Deathstalker, Space Mutiny, and The Creeping Terror), but still...

Ah, well, why didn't you say so? Any friend of the SOL is a friend of mine.

Alessandra Kelley
10-22-2011, 09:37 PM
We have all the MSTs :) on video, so we can't watch them :( but we have a dear friend who is converting them to DVDs for us :) except he's really busy :(.

One day ...

gothicangel
02-18-2012, 11:59 PM
I just rented this from Blockbuster. Thank God it was free.

It was awful, my sister is a Matthew MacFadyen fan and she was even begging me to switch off the DVD.

Also count me in as a fan of Randall Wallace's MITIM. Okay, the script has its cheesy moments but I loved this so much when I was 17 I wore out several VHS'. :)