I'm fixin' to hurt me some little girls' feelings...

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...because the cheap perfume/nerve agent morning crop-dusting ends today.

Coconut-Mango, Sweet Pea, Black Amethyst, Lime Mojito --- in the garbage. My upstairs reeks; my car reeks and it's not the quantity, it's most definitely the lack of quality. Personally, I think this nauseating fog is fast-tracking us all to cancer. That shit is not natural, no matter how much they name it after fruit and garden flowers (and, inexplicably, rocks - what the hell does an amethyst smell like, anyway?)

My daughters' craving for self expression and Bath & Body Works can all kiss my ass.
 
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Alpha Echo

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Awwww!!!! I still use Bath and Body Works lotion, but I don't really use the body splashes. I stick to real (and quite expensive) perfume.

BUT...

I remember those days. Collecting as many different yummy scents as possible....
 

LauraAnnSwanson

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Oh mercy! I can't even walk past a B&B Works without having an asthma attack. I know what you mean.

Someone bought my daughter a bottle of body spray last year for some reason and I heard her asking them "WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL MY MOM?" as if they knew.

Ahh, *sigh* only a couple more years before she will stop caring and think smelling like fruity opals is much more important.
 

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I remember those days. Collecting as many different yummy scents as possible....
They're not yummy scents. They're disgusting. And they burn my eyes.

I'll let them dye their hair purple if they like. And I let my oldest get the top of her ear pierced, but the line is drawn.

There's something aggressive about walking around in a cloud of, well, cloudiness. It's just like smoking on a bus, their right to do it runs smack into my right not to.
 
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CaroGirl

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I agree. Ugh. I had a problem with a colleague who bathed in some nauseating eau de toilet every day and it was distracting and gave me headaches at work. My complaints went unheeded. Thankfully, she got fired for getting drunk and disorderly at a professional conference. And I no longer work there anyway.

Also thankful my little angel would rather play football and wear boy jeans than spray perfume on her body with a fogger.

I applaud you. Take that stand, little girl feelings be damned!!
 

poetinahat

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Solidarity, sister. In the Republic of Poetinahatistan, patchouli is punishable by thirteenth-floor defenestration.

The wearing of British Sterling to an eighth-grade dance got me a prize insult, though. A neighbour mother was driving a few of us there. When I got in, she said, "oh, don't you smell nice."

"Thank you, Mrs. W. "

"in fact, you smell nice enough for the whole car."

Ouch, but lesson learned.
 
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My two favorite smells are lemon and almond extract. If either of the cherubs would care to rub that on their pulse points, all will be well.

Or I might eat them.
 

backslashbaby

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My dad was always terribly allergic, so my parents got spared. We weren't allowed to use the soap in public restrooms, either. He always knew if we forgot!

I had one friend I rode with, though, in high school. Musk. Oy. I had to tell her or either never ride in the car with her any more.
 

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They're not yummy scents.

I don't like some of them anymore, but some I do. But I'm all grown up now and know not to use them in excess.

It was like a silent competition as a teen. One I never won because I didn't really have the money to purchase Bath and Body Works. But I always seemed to get the gift baskets from relatives that didn't really know what to get me.
 

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I'm usually very polite to salespeople, but my daughter wanted to give a gift from Bath & Body Works. She didn't have time to get there herself before we left for our trip. So I said I would go for her.

I sucked in a giant breath of food court air, held in the greasy fumes against having to suck up any of B&B's poison, and dashed in to get the item Julia wanted.

Crazy saleslady kept trying to spritz me. "Just try this." or "This is brand new, just in! On special today."

No-thank-you was only getting me so far. I finally said, "You don't understand. Everything in here is foul. I'm just trying to get this one thing and get out of here without aspirative pneumonia."

It went something like this, sour hurtface and all -

completely safe for work
 
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swachski

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The wearing of British Sterling to an eighth-grade dance got me a prize insult, though. A neighbour mother was driving a few of us there. When I got in, she said, "oh, don't you smell nice."

"Thank you, Mrs. W. "

"in fact, you smell nice enough for the whole car."

Ouch, but lesson learned.

:ROFL: I'll have to remember that line. The thirteen-year-old neighbor boy I give a ride to school uses the equally gag inducing scent: Axe.
 

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I don't like some of them anymore, but some I do. But I'm all grown up now and know not to use them in excess.
I will take your word for it. So far, I've never sniffed anything from that store that didn't pickle my nose hairs, but they obviously do a booming business, so I'm willing to admit that it might be just me.
 

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The thirteen-year-old neighbor boy I give a ride to school uses the equally gag inducing scent: Axe.

Holy hell. I'd open my own Bath & Body Works franchise before I'd let even one bottle of that demon juice in my house.

I run a middle school chess club.

God help me, the blend of hormones, nerdiness, and Axe is enough to knock me down.

(And I say 'nerdiness' with all affection. I love chess geeks. Got three at home myself.)
 

Chris P

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Yay! Good for you! It's been about 18 months since I had girls in the house, and I forgot what hair spray tastes like. That's right, tastes.

I remember one golden moment where my then-14 yo begged me to buy her the expensive makeup that's so good "it looks like you're not wearing makeup." The light came on when I laughed in her face and she realized how that sounded. She's much more realistic about makeup now, but I still think women don't need it at all.

Oh, and I love Young Frankenstien! I'm going to have to watch it again.
 
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swachski

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Nerds rule in my house too, but more along the robotics end of the spectrum. And I'd rather put up with their teen-stink than let them use Axe.

I love the smell of a freshly squeezed lemon wedge! And vanilla on the wrist is my kind of perfume.
 
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Duncable

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I had to click because of the title, I just couldn't resist!

And I'm right there with you! I don't have any kiddos, but I work with enough prissy girls (and in a large mid-rise office building) to understand your pain.

I've exited (and refused to enter) an elevator on more than one occassion because I can't help but gag when the doors opened. I've also entered an empty elevator several times in my building and had to step out and wait for the next one, because someone left their noxious cloud behind.

It's not just women, though. I've encountered just as many men lately that seem to bathe in Axe spray, or Aqua Velva, or what-the-hell-ever before they leave the house. I like my men to smell like men, thanks, not toxic chemicals.
 

poetinahat

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No-thank-you was only getting me so far. I finally said, "You don't understand. Everything in here is foul. I'm just trying to get this one thing and get out of here without aspirative pneumonia."

It went something like this, sour hurtface and all -

completely safe for work
I don't know which I love more: your killshot, or your choice of YouTube reference.

There's a chain out this way called Lush, and I'm sure the effect is similar: fogs of aroma that induce hallucinations of being smothered in an avalanche of rainbow pandas.
 

LauraAnnSwanson

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I got a bottle of B&BW (isn't that an acronym for chubby sexpots??) eucalyptus pillow spray as a gift for stress and it was wonderful... However, I am not brave enough to go in myself and get another bottle.
 

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Yeah, the B&B stuff that bugs me is the food genre stuff.

"ooh, you smell like breakfast!"

"Why thank you, Mr. Lector."
I know! The girls had hand sanitizer that is called "Honey Pretzel".

WTF?

It smells so strong that anything you'd lift towards your mouth to eat would be honey-pretzel-in-the-shape-and-texture-of-a-chicken-salad-sandwich, or honey-pretzel-with-the-wet-snap-of-carrot-sticks.

Probably a great diet aid. Personally, I'll just take my chances with salmonella and eat my friggin' lunch.
 
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Ari Meermans

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Thank you for this thread! I have the most horrible reaction to that stuff. If I just smell a strong fragrance, the scent begins to waft from all my own pores, then I can actually taste it and a migraine ensues. A couple of times, I wasn't fast enough to evade a spritz-in-progress in a department store and was down for the count for three solid days.