View Full Version : query letter critique

11-29-2005, 04:21 AM
Can you please critique my letter? thx
After several years of reading various travel books, some more impressive than others, Iíve come to the forgone conclusion that there is something lacking in the realm of travel writing: the truth.

It's a dangerous word, I know, but Iím not afraid of it. From robbing hookers in Madrid to bribing cops in Russia, The Dangerlogues: Dangerous Johnnyís Guide to the World has enough excitement, drama and brutal honesty to give the reader more than a just a guide, but an experience. As you might have guessed, The Dangerlogues is not your typical journey guide.

The Dangerlogues consists of several short stories about my European misadventures. I am confident it is the most socially relevant travel guide written since Robert Young Pelton's The World's Most Dangerous Places. In it, I expose the truth behind the misconceptions of some of Europe's most popular vacation destinations

This 60,000 word book takes the reader through the first-hand travels of Johnny Dangerous, an eccentric and unfortunate Canadian who finds himself in bizarre situations in foreign lands. With enough alcohol and drugs to make Hunter S. Thompson blush -- combined with jaunts through ghettos and brothels -- this is not a book for the mild mannered.

Rather, it is intended for young adults, who arenít interested in reading travel books which will only advise them of which museums to visit and which restaurants to dine at. Iím not denying the value of such travel guides, Iím merely saying that there is a huge market for travel guides which would truly appeal to 18 to 30 year-olds. Young people travel because theyíre looking for excitement, and in my book, I tell them precisely where to find it.

Whether theyíre looking for a place to get laid, or for a corner to score high quality dope, Iíve got them covered. The Dangerlogues grips the reader like few other stories can. There is enough excitement, drama and brutal honesty in it to offer to give more than a guide. It will give them an experience. Quite frankly, I canít think of another book on the market like it.

I would be pleased to send you the complete manuscript, should you be interested in reading it. A SASE is included for your convenience and I hope to hear of your interest in my novel.

John Doe

11-29-2005, 04:32 AM
I know you want an experts opinion, and that I'm not, but I have to comment on the fact that 1st: It was certainly an entertaining query letter. Kind of makes me want to read the book, and I don't even travel much. And finally 2nd: What did bother me was the fact that your touting it as a way for teens, and young adults to find hookers and drugs. That part I think is best left unsaid. I'd pay closer homage to the fun aspect of reading about Mr. Dangerous' antics.

Just my 2cents.

11-29-2005, 04:50 AM
Interesting query letter to say the least. I see all the essential elements inside and continued to read, which is good. I agree that inducing young adults to solicit drugs and prostitution isn't (in my opinion) something that a parent would want their kids to read. Maybe the book is intended for a young audience, but is it rated?

Good luck!


Julie Worth
11-29-2005, 04:56 AM
Very interesting. It needs some attention at the word and sentence level, but overall, I think you'll get some hits.

I'd rewrite your opening like so:

After years of reading guidebooks, each less impressive than the last, Iíve concluded that there is one thing lacking in the realm of travel writing: the truth.

11-30-2005, 12:03 AM
Thanks for your comments, the book is definately for 18+, although the language and content is not all that bad, it's not really suitable for the Politically Correct.

I mean, it's for anyone of any age, but really aimed towards college-age backpackers