PDA

View Full Version : YA Dystopian/Adventure - 80K - Beta Reader?



SBibb
09-25-2011, 10:07 AM
Hello,

I'm currently looking for one or two beta readers for my novel, Distant Horizon.

Genre: It is YA, dystopian/adventure with super powers. (Note: Mild swearing and some sexual references, and quite a bit of violence).

Feedback: I'm not really looking for line-by-lines (unless you see a glaring mistake). What I really want is for someone to read it as if they pulled it off a bookshelf. What do you like/dislike about it? What scenes lag and make you want to put it aside? What scenes work great? What are the continuity problems? Is character development good? Do you care about the MC? Those sorts of things.

Publishing: I think it is about ready to query, hence seeking a beta reader. I am hoping to go the traditional route.

Creditentials: Preferably someone who enjoys reading YA, especially on the dystopian side (Matched and Hunger Games). Other than that, I don't care if you're published or not.

Notes: I would like to have feedback within two weeks, and I would prefer that the manuscript not be passed around without asking me first. Please and thank you.

I would be happy to start with a chapter or two to see if you're interested, first, that way if you don't like it you aren't bogged down with all 80K of it. :-)

Sample From Beginning of Manuscript:



I waited until I was just outside of their sight to walk along the tree line that ran the outer perimeter. A few meters of grass space ran between the barbed fence and the concrete compound. At the backside of the prison I stepped through the trees, looking for possible entry points.

A second later, a horrible screeching and clashing of metal shattered the soft sound of chirping birds, and I ducked back into the trees, feeling sick in the pit of my stomach. What was going on? Ahead, someone shouted, followed by splitting gunfire.

I stayed behind the conifer trees but stared at the fence section in front of me. A large, gaping hole marred its side, bent and torn as if ripped apart. Several bushes lined the inside of the fence, including one that was trampled. They were the unpleasant nettle kind, but at least they would provide decent cover. After all, the hole was already there.

Three more gun shots made me wish I’d brought ear plugs, proceeded by a voice from above the trees. “Don’t forget me!” A man shouted, flying over the prison. I gawked. Unlike the Community guards, he wore a dark green and brown suit that hugged his skin, with hard plastic plates on his elbows and knees and across his chest, and a gun belt at his side. With no apparent wings or method of transportation, Flight Guy circled around once, evading the gun shots and swerving, ducking out of range of the shouting guard’s gunfire. Two others fought against the guards in what I could only guess was a prison break.

What kind of people did they keep here? I pulled out my cell phone and snapped a picture. I had to get a video of this...

mac3910
09-26-2011, 04:24 PM
Hi,

I am also writing a YA dystopian/adventure and I think I need to take a break before jumping back in. I've beta'ed for two people here at AW and a few people in my last writing community. I also prefer not to do line by line so if you're interested just send me a pm.

Also: as a disclaimer I just want to let you know that my opening chapter is kind of similar to yours because my main character is in the woods being shot at and running through the trees. However, my story doesn't have a cool super powers in it. :D If this makes you uncomfortable then feel free to ignore my post completely.

SBibb
09-26-2011, 10:09 PM
Hello,

Thanks for replying, I'll send you a pm shortly. :-)

No worries on the opening chapter-- the exmample I posted is about four or five chapters in. :-)