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View Full Version : Funny Fridays Jokes and Flashback tunes ACDC&Phill Collins



AndreF
09-16-2011, 08:02 PM
Spelling checker




Eye Halve a Spelling Chequer

Eye halve a spelling chequer
It came with my pea sea
It plainly marques four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.

Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write
It shows me strait a weigh.

As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
And eye can put the error rite
Its rarely ever wrong.

Eye have run this poem threw it
I am shore your pleased two no
Its letter perfect in it's weigh
My chequer tolled me sew.

-- Sauce unknown



Joke 2

Bumper stickers 01


I love animals, they taste great.

EARTH FIRST! We'll stripmine the other planets later.

"Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes."

Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.

The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.

He who laughs last thinks slowest!

Give me ambiguity or give me something else.

A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

And Finally.

SOME TIPS ON WRITING!!!

1. Avoid alliteration. Always.

2. Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do.

3. Employ the vernacular.

4. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.

5. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.

6. Remember to never split an infinitive.

7. Contractions aren't necessary.

8. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.

9. One should never generalize.

10. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."

11. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.

12. Don't be redundant; don't use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.

13. Be more or less specific.

14. Understatement is always best.

15. One-word sentences? Eliminate.

16. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.

17. The passive voice is to be avoided.

18. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.

19. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.

20. Who needs rhetorical questions?

21. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.

22. Don't never use a double negation.

23. capitalize every sentence and remember always end it with point

24. Do not put statements in the negative form.

25. Verbs have to agree with their subjects.

26. Proofread carefully to see if you words out.

27. If you reread your work, you can find on rereading a great deal of repetition can be avoided by rereading and editing.

28. A writer must not shift your point of view.

29. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction. (Remember, too, a preposition is a terrible word to end a sentence with.)

30. Don't overuse exclamation marks!!

31. Place pronouns as close as possible, especially in long sentences, as of 10 or more words, to the irantecedents.

32. Writing carefully, dangling participles must be avoided.

33. If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is.

34. Take the bull by the hand and avoid mixing metaphors.

35. Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.

36. Everyone should be careful to use a singular pronoun with singular nouns in their writing.

37. Always pick on the correct idiom.

38. The adverb always follows the verb.

39. Last but not least, avoid cliches like the plague; They're old hat; seek viable alternatives.


And now the Friday Flashback Tunes

:e2headbanACDC Thunderstruck:e2headban
http://youtu.be/6Evu8L2pF7w

Phil Collins In the Air Tonight
http://youtu.be/YkADj0TPrJA



That is all have a good weekend!

writerterri
09-16-2011, 09:02 PM
Both of those take me back.

*swoons to In The Air Tonight*


Love that one!


Have a great weekend too!

writerterri
09-16-2011, 09:03 PM
What happened?

I was in one thread and hit submit and ended up in another thread.

writerterri
09-16-2011, 09:05 PM
I must be losing my mind.

Lavern08
09-16-2011, 09:06 PM
I must be losing my mind.

Again? :tongue

AndreF
09-16-2011, 09:15 PM
I must be losing my mind.


You're not loosing your mind I went back to put some jokes in and forgot the tunes.

I glad you liked the tunes man. I realize that everyone probably has these on a disk or other device. I just felt like pasting some oldies on here for people's convenience and entertainment.

Rock out and have a good weekend!

Sorry about the confusion.

writerterri
09-16-2011, 09:27 PM
Again? :tongue


More like, still. :D


dontforgetyourestilldorkierthanme

writerterri
09-16-2011, 09:28 PM
You're not loosing your mind I went back to put some jokes in and forgot the tunes.

I glad you liked the tunes man. I realize that everyone probably has these on a disk or other device. I just felt like pasting some oldies on here for people's convenience and entertainment.

Rock out and have a good weekend!

Sorry about the confusion.


Whew! I was about to go take a chill pill. Now I can wait until the kids get home. ;)