So frickin' uselessly mean

Perks · Sep 15, 2011

So, there had been several infuriating stories from my daughter's school last year (so far, we've been in school a month and nothing's gone wrong - fingers crossed) but there was a story that I just found out I hadn't been told. Lost in the shuffle of ridiculousness, as it were.

My daughter was in her social studies class (where most, but not all, of last year's shenanigans went down) and a boy from the previous period ducked back in to retrieve his water bottle that he'd forgotten as he rushed out at the bell.

The teacher announced that she had a policy to ensure that items would not be forgotten more then once in her classroom and told him that he had to sing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star to the roomful as ransom.

I dunno, maybe the class clown type would find this funny, but this woman let this kid turn tomato red and sing, through hitching sobs, to the uneasy laughter of the other students, just to get his water bottle back.

Julia said she just wanted to die as this kid cried his way through the nursery rhyme and that stupid cow cackled at him. And she made him go through the whole thing.

I wished he'd looked at her like she was nuts and said, "Enjoy your new water bottle," and walked out.

This happened towards the end of the last school year. I so hope that kid told his parents and that they did something about it. It's not like middle school isn't hard enough.

Belle_91 · Sep 15, 2011

What grade are these kids in?

That is embarressing, and the teacher maybe should reform her methods if the kids are young. However, if they are in say the eighth grade, I think the kid overreacted.

It's sad that this happened, but I knew teachers that would do something like this in my middle school. It's bad, but it's not THAT bad, I guess is what I'm trying to say.

My mom always told me that kids are worried about their own lives--I had some really embarressing moments as well, and in middle school, I could see myself freaking out over this.

However, I'm sure if this happened last year, the kids have all forgotten about it.

Bookewyrme · Sep 15, 2011

Wow, that's pretty harsh. And really weird. Why should the teacher care if things get left in her class-room, as long as the students are quiet and as unobtrusive as possible about retrieving the left items? If she's really worried about class disruption, she could make a policy that if you leave something in her classroom you're only allowed to retrieve it between classes or after school, but insisting a kid sing or whatever is actually MORE disruptive so...WTF mate?

Ari Meermans · Sep 15, 2011

Perks said:
It's not like middle school isn't hard enough.

Who *is* this person and how the hell did she acquire her teaching credentials? (rhetorical question)

You're right, Perks, middle school is already hard enough with everything kids suffer at this age, both internally and externally. Teachers do not need to be finding new ways to cause distress.

Bookewyrme · Sep 15, 2011

Belle_91 said:
However, I'm sure if this happened last year, the kids have all forgotten about it.

Crossposted with you.

Anyway, you never know. If it was traumatic enough for the boy, he almost certainly will NEVER forget it, but will burn with anger/shame at the memory long after he's forgotten anything else that teacher ever taught him. I still remember incidents of a similar nature (times when I felt slighted or degraded by an adult) that happened to me over a decade ago. They still rankle, even though I know I have the respect and admiration of those adults now, and even though I know they honestly thought they were doing what was best for me. Those sorts of incidents don't get forgotten though, especially by kids and teens. We just like to think they do.

Perks · Sep 15, 2011

What's really interesting for me, is that when she and I had the showdown over test papers she wouldn't let me see, I had to get the principal involved. (Long story short, my daughter was bringing home Cs and Ds on her Social Studies tests and because I only ever saw the answer sheets, I couldn't help her see what the problem was. The teacher denied me the tests for various reasons until I had to have the administrator intervene.)

During the email exchange between the three of us, this teacher made a mistake and sent a very rude email to me, about me. The principal was the intended recipient. She'd just hit the wrong 'Reply' button.

She was mortified and went straight to the principal's office and said, "I really screwed up." Then the principal was mortified in his turn and he called me immediately and said that he was going to make her call me and apologize.

Once I realized the rude email was never intended for my eyes, I actually felt sympathy for how horribly embarrassing that must have been for her. I told the principal that, as mad as I was about the stupid test papers, I felt bad for her. "It could happen to anyone and I'm sure how awful that feels is plenty punishment enough, so tell her not to worry about it," I said.

This story makes me wish I'd made her squirm.

Snitchcat · Sep 15, 2011

That's some teacher. I'd've told my mother about it, and while we have our differences, my mother would have made that teacher's life a living Hell.

IMO, any professional should not get away with anything so nasty and inhumane. That was a kid the teacher tortured. A kid who didn't know what else to do. That's bullying. And enormously irksome.

JimmyB27 · Sep 16, 2011

Belle_91 said:
However, I'm sure if this happened last year, the kids have all forgotten about it.

I can still remember an incident from when I was about seven where I was sent to another teacher's classroom to deliver something, or drop something off (I forget the details of the errand). The classroom was in the older part of the school, and the door stuck and it took me a little while to force it open - and made a bit of a racket. When I finally got it open, the teacher bawled me out for disrupting her class.
And that was some 23 years ago...

stormie · Sep 16, 2011

There are always some teachers who do not belong in the classroom. At all. As a teacher, I remember being horrified at what some of them did--emotionally--to the students.

What a teacher says or does to a student, is with them forever (as Jimmy remembers from 23 years ago above).

Perks--you're doing good keeping on top of things. Not always easy when a child might clam up about it.

Perks · Sep 16, 2011

stormie said:
There are always some teachers who do not belong in the classroom. At all. As a teacher, I remember being horrified at what some of them did--emotionally--to the students.

And don't get me wrong, I understand - and appreciate - the difficult job that teachers have. Almost every teacher my daughters have had have been on the upper scale of competent to really excellent. The notable exceptions make these stories, but there are plenty of satisfied and pleased stories, too.

I can even see this scenario playing out as a joke and everyone having a little laugh over it. But as soon as it was evident that the kid was not up for it, it should have been stopped.

And, yeah, the thing about forgetting it? My daughter obviously hasn't. I doubt the boy who had to sing has either.

Sheryl Nantus · Sep 16, 2011

Kids never forget.

On my first day in kindergarten (Montreal, Canada, mid 1960's) we listened to a kid supposedly being spanked/strapped over the PA system with all the yelling and screaming and crying.

Now, with the wisdom of an adult, I know that was a taped scenario played out with the intention of terrifying first-day students into behaving properly.

I remember being terrified beyond belief. Absolutely terrified.

Kids don't forget.

Devil Ledbetter · Sep 16, 2011

That teacher is a bully, plain and simple.

I had a male phys ed teacher, Mr. Pease, in 8th grade. My mother wrote a note asking that I be excused from pool for the remainder of the week because I had started my period. Mr. Pease read the note, smirked, then read it aloud to the entire co-ed pool class.

I only told my parents about this last year. My dad said he wished I'd have told him about it back then, he'd have gone straight down to the school and kicked Mr. Pease's ass up around his ears.

Velcro · Sep 16, 2011

Sheryl Nantus said:
Kids never forget.

On my first day in kindergarten (Montreal, Canada, mid 1960's) we listened to a kid supposedly being spanked/strapped over the PA system with all the yelling and screaming and crying.

Now, with the wisdom of an adult, I know that was a taped scenario played out with the intention of terrifying first-day students into behaving properly.

I remember being terrified beyond belief. Absolutely terrified.

Kids don't forget.

That is absolutely awful. Boy, how things have changed. Your story makes the singing kid sound like a dream in comparison.

As for the teacher making the kid sing, that is weird. Well, teachers are human and we know that everyone is flawed and has bad days. Not that that excuses her behavior.

GailD · Sep 16, 2011

I taught, lectured and trained both adults and children for more than 30 years. Shaming and humiliating a student, either to 'teach them a lesson' or as a punishment is about as unproductive as it gets. Students put in this position often feel victimized and frequently become the target of bullying outside the classroom because of it.

Teachers have a lot of power in a classroom but, unfortunately, some abuse it.

I disagree about the age of the child being an issue. Many adults are very fragile in a learning environment.

Snowstorm · Sep 16, 2011

Devil Ledbetter said:
That teacher is a bully, plain and simple.

I had a male phys ed teacher, Mr. Pease, in 8th grade. My mother wrote a note asking that I be excused from pool for the remainder of the week because I had started my period. Mr. Pease read the note, smirked, then read it aloud to the entire co-ed pool class.

I only told my parents about this last year. My dad said he wished I'd have told him about it back then, he'd have gone straight down to the school and kicked Mr. Pease's ass up around his ears.

Totally agree with you, and good on your dad for saying what he would have done. There's just NO reason to bully, belittle, or torment kids.

scarletpeaches · Sep 16, 2011

What the fuck is wrong with this school? What???

Belle_91 · Sep 16, 2011

I don't forget the stuff that happened to me either. I have plenty of horrific stories myself.

But usually, kids don't think about what other kids have done long after its happened. They remember it, of course, and will occasionally bring it up, but honestly, people are more concerned with their own lives.

I agree that kids--and sometimes teachers as well--can be shits.

I went to Catholic school all my life, and I thank God that I was never taught by nuns. However, being taught by an ex-nun was enough to give me a little psycological scaring.

Also, you all mentioned stuff that happened to YOU? Do you remember anything that happened to a class mate? That's what I was trying to say. I still remember the stuff that happened to me, but sometimes my friends will talk about stuff that happened to them, and I had completely forgotten about it.

Alpha Echo · Sep 16, 2011

OMG. Perks...I'm so sorry! That's awful, and children definitely do NOT forget. I sincerely hope that that poor boys' friends, real friends, stuck by him. And I really hope this school year is better than last for your daughter. Because if it gets worse...

Perks · Sep 16, 2011

Unbelievable. That is awful.

Devil Ledbetter said:
I had a male phys ed teacher, Mr. Pease, in 8th grade. My mother wrote a note asking that I be excused from pool for the remainder of the week because I had started my period. Mr. Pease read the note, smirked, then read it aloud to the entire co-ed pool class.

Perks · Sep 16, 2011

I remember a kid in middle school, Victor. He was the odd man out. Always. Awkward, nerdy, his great height of no athletic advantage, and that indefinable extra bit missing that left him trying to climb the adolescent iceberg with no snow cleats.

I was far, far down on the societal food chain and even I didn't know him. I barely ever spoke to him, even though our last names had us sitting close in all the alphabetically arranged seating.

When yearbooks got passed around, he wrote in mine, "You never once made fun of me or were mean to me. Thank you."

Ask me how many other entries from my yearbook I know by heart.

It kills me.

writerterri · Sep 16, 2011

Rush Limbaugh got it right when the public school system "screwl".

I hear more and more stories of emotional abuse at school these days. Especially mine. And when it's brought to light the child is accused of over exaggerating the details. To me when a child does that it is how they perceived the situation which is bad too. I never win in these situations because it's usually the teacher and the principal are in cahoots.

The person to write to is your school's superintendent and more specifically their assistant. They usually have an email address.

Perks · Sep 16, 2011

writerterri said:
The person to write to is your school's superintendent and more specifically their assistant. They usually have an email address.

It's too late to do anything about this one. This story got lost in a jumble of problems. I didn't hear about it until now, but it took place last year to a kid who is not even mine. Now it's just a sad story.

writerterri · Sep 16, 2011

Perks said:
It's too late to do anything about this one. This story got lost in a jumble of problems. I didn't hear about it until now, but it took place last year to a kid who is not even mine. Now it's just a sad story.

I just like to squish some teachers like play dough.

CaroGirl · Sep 16, 2011

My kids had a teacher last year that blows every other teacher out of the water when it comes to inappropriate conduct. He was so bad, he got a forced transfer to another school (thank god). Unfortunately, his record doesn't follow him.

Some of the things he did and said:

"Your parents are doing a bad job at raising you."
(to my 11 yo daughter) "If you keep going like this, you're going to end up in jail."
"You're the worst student I ever had."
(to my 13 yo son) "No. I don't care if you didn't get a chance to eat lunch. You're on my time now. It's not my problem." ~ my son was asked to the office to talk to the principal about a school yard incident he witnessed the day before. He did not eat lunch all day. When he couldn't answer a math question because he was starving, Bad Teacher called him "stupid" in front of the class.
He used a referee's whistle to get the students' attention. In a portable classroom.
He put children outside as punishment and then forgot about them for an hour at a time.
After Christmas, he taunted the children because he got a video game that most children weren't allowed to play because it was rated Mature.

Yeah. So beat THAT!

Perks · Sep 16, 2011

Good lord. I wonder if his transfer will spur a change of attitude. Does he maybe think he's funny?

So frickin' uselessly mean

delicate #!&@*#! flower

With her nose stuck in a book

Imagined half of it.

MacAllister's Official Minion & Greeter

Imagined half of it.

delicate #!&@*#! flower

Dragon-kitty.

Hoopy frood

storm central

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Holding out for a Superhero...

Come on you stranger, you legend,

Scribbling Scribe

Still chasing plot bunnies.

Baby plot bunneh sniffs out a clue

With her nose stuck in a book

I should be writing.

delicate #!&@*#! flower

delicate #!&@*#! flower

It's a dorky day!

delicate #!&@*#! flower

It's a dorky day!

Living the dream

delicate #!&@*#! flower