My current WIP deals with topics such as passing, nationalism, tradition Vs. modernity and denial. As such, I am trying to be extra careful about the plot.
Some background, it deals in a Dieselpunk-ish country (vaguely 40's and 50's but with technology and some sensibilities closer to us). It's a representative republic with two big political parties:
The Prosperity Party (the conservative one; isolationist, pro-business and highly nationalistic. It's somewhat split between the Coastal Pros, big city moderates with an individualistic bent and the Country Pros, who have a more church and community-based angle.)
The Progress Party (the liberal one; interventionist, pro-welfare, whig history and with a somewhat condescending "white man's burden" view. It's divided between the Scientific Progressives, who firmly believe it's necessary for the government to finance and push scientific and artistic advancements for the integration and improvement of society and the Social Progressives, who assure the need of every citizen to be equal and bound to each other and the government and to regulate such relationships.)
I'm not sure if the MC is either a deeply-repressed gay man or someone who simply has no other motivation in life (sexual or otherwise) than be accepted by society, whatever his vague definition of acceptance may be.
His family escaped from Segrobia, a vaguely Eastern European nation, when they started to persecute the Hasketites. So he was born in Megapolis, the largest city of Urbania where his family had menial jobs in the Hasketry and he was an outcast within his own community for being a Segrobian Hasketite, who were seen as other Hasketite as being all swindlers, thiefs and prospitutes.
He would skip the Hasketite school to go to the cinema and learn the language repeating phrases and somewhat skewered perspective of perfection seeing the movie stars, so perfect and normal, compared to his own little life with his parents working all day and his older sister with an undefined mental condition living in a one-room apartment. He cannot stand to see her, even when she's his only friend. One day, when he was washing her, she starts to masturbate. My MC tries to stop him, but he cannot. This left him a profound impression and disgust about sex in general.
After running away from home, he's caught by the police and sent into a religious orphanage where he takes upon a father figure (and a bit of a crush hinted) towards a priest. This priest becomes his protector and teaches him a vision of the world that remains with his all his life: The world is mean because the people is meanand sometimes, one has to be meaner to arise.
When he turns 18 he's pretty much left on his own and ends up working as a waiter in a country club. He becomes paranoid swearing all rich young women are making fun of him, complaining about him, conspiring about him. Nobody believes him except an idle drunk ivy-league type jock called Cy Cole, who one night go around and vandalize the cars in the parking lot. At the end, my MC becomes Cole's valet and both have adventures in Urbania's version of both, the Roaring Twenties and the Summer of Love.
Cy cole is the nephew of the mayor of Megapolis in that time, "King" Ceasar Cole and member of the Cole family, the Rockefellers of Megapolis. He's shown as recenting his father, who would never even bother to beat him but rather ask the butler to do it and pretty much Cy grows with no sense of responsibility by having always someone to clean his mess. My MC becomes that someone in Cy's college years.
Cy Cole becomes pretty much a bit of an obsession for my MC, he's all what my MC wishes to be: handsome, affable, athletic, admired, he's the best of the John Does, a man to trust, someone who's part of the crowd and owns the crowd at the same time. Yet, he hates me, seeing a man who has all the opportunities to do ANYTHING in life being wasted away by sheer carelessness and stupidity. At the end, he leaves and goes to work in the Bureau, a vague political entity that represents the federal government over the city of Megapolis, which is authonomous.
My MC goes up positions in the Bureau. Usually by hardwork, but also by cronyism and blackmailing and loyalty to the Prosperity Party. At the end, the idle jock becomes his superior thanks to family connections while the MC reaches his post due to his work, either honest or not.
He becomes the Ombudsman. His job pretty much is to deal with the lobbyist and non-profit organizations complains about the municipal government. If he feels they have a case, he blows the whistle to the Attorney General. He never blows the whistle.
The MC becomes a pretty popular Coastal Pro politician, speaking about the right of every individual to climb and be better and how the greatness of Urbania is having climb all the way up to be the best of nations and how foreign influences may harm this. He becomes an emergency running mate for a candidate for the Prosperity ticket to the presidential election. Nonetheless, the Country Pros have their own self-made man, a woodsy folksy congressman backed by a railroad baron.
My MC, who keeps a record of everyone important in the politics and many, many shady contacts leaks the fact that the congressman have an illicit relationship with an underage boy. The congressman is arrested in a motel. My MC's running mate gets the presidential ticket. Meanwhile, Cy Cole becomes the presidential candidate of the Progress Party.
The MC loses his chances to become vice-president when someone leaks to the press the fact he had doctoring papers at the Bureau, the ones proving he was not born in Urbania and is removed of the vicepresidency and gets ostracized by his fellow party members. They put him in a meaningless position and suffers a nervous breakdown.
He goes to Urbania's version of Las Vegas and seeks a male and female prostitute, he calls him Cy Cole and her Janna, his sister's name and drives with them to the desert where they run scared when he pulls out a revolver, though it had no bullets. He crashes the car in the desert and drinks to pass the time. He can only think of Cy Cole. Cy Cole in a pristine military uniform and jackboots, forcing him to give him oral pleasure. He strangling Cy Cole dressed up too in fascist-like uniforms. He's found by the authorities and spends some months in a psychiatric hospital.
Under the suspicion that Cy Cole blew the whistle, he shots him in his presidental inauguration. Hedoes not die, but ends up in a comma and the MC ends up in jail waiting for his execution, fantasizing with a revenge to all the people who he has met and cared about him (swearing they are part of a nebulous conspiracy to destroy the faith, the family and the fatherland) or Cy Cole waking up to give him presidential pardon and hugging him, finally feeling assimilated to his own twisted vision of perfection in society.
I really don't know what to think about my WIP. Is it too twisted? Is it preachy? Is it offensive? Is it a mess of ideas and concepts and sound and fury but much ado nothing? Is my MC too unlikeable?
Some background, it deals in a Dieselpunk-ish country (vaguely 40's and 50's but with technology and some sensibilities closer to us). It's a representative republic with two big political parties:
The Prosperity Party (the conservative one; isolationist, pro-business and highly nationalistic. It's somewhat split between the Coastal Pros, big city moderates with an individualistic bent and the Country Pros, who have a more church and community-based angle.)
The Progress Party (the liberal one; interventionist, pro-welfare, whig history and with a somewhat condescending "white man's burden" view. It's divided between the Scientific Progressives, who firmly believe it's necessary for the government to finance and push scientific and artistic advancements for the integration and improvement of society and the Social Progressives, who assure the need of every citizen to be equal and bound to each other and the government and to regulate such relationships.)
I'm not sure if the MC is either a deeply-repressed gay man or someone who simply has no other motivation in life (sexual or otherwise) than be accepted by society, whatever his vague definition of acceptance may be.
His family escaped from Segrobia, a vaguely Eastern European nation, when they started to persecute the Hasketites. So he was born in Megapolis, the largest city of Urbania where his family had menial jobs in the Hasketry and he was an outcast within his own community for being a Segrobian Hasketite, who were seen as other Hasketite as being all swindlers, thiefs and prospitutes.
He would skip the Hasketite school to go to the cinema and learn the language repeating phrases and somewhat skewered perspective of perfection seeing the movie stars, so perfect and normal, compared to his own little life with his parents working all day and his older sister with an undefined mental condition living in a one-room apartment. He cannot stand to see her, even when she's his only friend. One day, when he was washing her, she starts to masturbate. My MC tries to stop him, but he cannot. This left him a profound impression and disgust about sex in general.
After running away from home, he's caught by the police and sent into a religious orphanage where he takes upon a father figure (and a bit of a crush hinted) towards a priest. This priest becomes his protector and teaches him a vision of the world that remains with his all his life: The world is mean because the people is meanand sometimes, one has to be meaner to arise.
When he turns 18 he's pretty much left on his own and ends up working as a waiter in a country club. He becomes paranoid swearing all rich young women are making fun of him, complaining about him, conspiring about him. Nobody believes him except an idle drunk ivy-league type jock called Cy Cole, who one night go around and vandalize the cars in the parking lot. At the end, my MC becomes Cole's valet and both have adventures in Urbania's version of both, the Roaring Twenties and the Summer of Love.
Cy cole is the nephew of the mayor of Megapolis in that time, "King" Ceasar Cole and member of the Cole family, the Rockefellers of Megapolis. He's shown as recenting his father, who would never even bother to beat him but rather ask the butler to do it and pretty much Cy grows with no sense of responsibility by having always someone to clean his mess. My MC becomes that someone in Cy's college years.
Cy Cole becomes pretty much a bit of an obsession for my MC, he's all what my MC wishes to be: handsome, affable, athletic, admired, he's the best of the John Does, a man to trust, someone who's part of the crowd and owns the crowd at the same time. Yet, he hates me, seeing a man who has all the opportunities to do ANYTHING in life being wasted away by sheer carelessness and stupidity. At the end, he leaves and goes to work in the Bureau, a vague political entity that represents the federal government over the city of Megapolis, which is authonomous.
My MC goes up positions in the Bureau. Usually by hardwork, but also by cronyism and blackmailing and loyalty to the Prosperity Party. At the end, the idle jock becomes his superior thanks to family connections while the MC reaches his post due to his work, either honest or not.
He becomes the Ombudsman. His job pretty much is to deal with the lobbyist and non-profit organizations complains about the municipal government. If he feels they have a case, he blows the whistle to the Attorney General. He never blows the whistle.
The MC becomes a pretty popular Coastal Pro politician, speaking about the right of every individual to climb and be better and how the greatness of Urbania is having climb all the way up to be the best of nations and how foreign influences may harm this. He becomes an emergency running mate for a candidate for the Prosperity ticket to the presidential election. Nonetheless, the Country Pros have their own self-made man, a woodsy folksy congressman backed by a railroad baron.
My MC, who keeps a record of everyone important in the politics and many, many shady contacts leaks the fact that the congressman have an illicit relationship with an underage boy. The congressman is arrested in a motel. My MC's running mate gets the presidential ticket. Meanwhile, Cy Cole becomes the presidential candidate of the Progress Party.
The MC loses his chances to become vice-president when someone leaks to the press the fact he had doctoring papers at the Bureau, the ones proving he was not born in Urbania and is removed of the vicepresidency and gets ostracized by his fellow party members. They put him in a meaningless position and suffers a nervous breakdown.
He goes to Urbania's version of Las Vegas and seeks a male and female prostitute, he calls him Cy Cole and her Janna, his sister's name and drives with them to the desert where they run scared when he pulls out a revolver, though it had no bullets. He crashes the car in the desert and drinks to pass the time. He can only think of Cy Cole. Cy Cole in a pristine military uniform and jackboots, forcing him to give him oral pleasure. He strangling Cy Cole dressed up too in fascist-like uniforms. He's found by the authorities and spends some months in a psychiatric hospital.
Under the suspicion that Cy Cole blew the whistle, he shots him in his presidental inauguration. Hedoes not die, but ends up in a comma and the MC ends up in jail waiting for his execution, fantasizing with a revenge to all the people who he has met and cared about him (swearing they are part of a nebulous conspiracy to destroy the faith, the family and the fatherland) or Cy Cole waking up to give him presidential pardon and hugging him, finally feeling assimilated to his own twisted vision of perfection in society.
I really don't know what to think about my WIP. Is it too twisted? Is it preachy? Is it offensive? Is it a mess of ideas and concepts and sound and fury but much ado nothing? Is my MC too unlikeable?
