View Full Version : Edgy YA spec fic 45K- need betas

08-29-2011, 02:14 PM
Wrapping up my first draft and I need some opinions on the overall story.


At 2pm on a winter afternoon, sixteen year-old Alex sticks a gun in her mouth and pulls the trigger. Forty-five minutes later, she wakes to find Detective Chase at her door.

Alex is a bio, a biological immortal. Like most of the other immortals in her crumbling Brooklyn tenement, Alex and her drug-dealer boyfriend are addicted to "topping off"- suicide to get high. Each time she tops off, she loses a negative memory. Any time she stops, they come flooding back.

One night, when Alex is on her way home from work, a chance glimpse of a little girl in a newspaper triggers a disturbing flashback. Alex later learns the girl was the first victim of a serial killer called The Gravedigger. Alex was the second.

Detective Chase needs Alex's help. She’s the only living person who’s seen the murderer. But Recall is scary. Recollections of her sordid past—and the reality of a world hostile to her kind—threaten to send Alex spiraling back into addiction. But the possibility of saving a life has her determined to remember everything she’s worked so hard to forget.

Okay, now that the plots out of the way, it's definitely upper YA, and it's very dark. There are a couple of full (As in, I don't fade to black) sex scenes, child sexual abuse, murder, suicide, homosexuality, drug use, rape, language, violence and one cat murder.

First person present pov and very sparse prose with a young voice. This isn't a thriller or murder mystery, it reads like contemporary.

That should weed out a fair amount of people. Anyone still reading at this point: it's just over 40K, and I prefer quick readers, a week and a half tops. If you want to read samples, there's one here (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=223263) and one here (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=222314). And one of the sex scenes here (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=223571).

Reply here or message me


08-29-2011, 04:21 PM
I don't mind taking a look :) I read pretty fast, and from the amount of words your MS stands, I can probably get it done in no more than five days. Considering I'm already a fan of this piece, it might be a little less than that :_ I'm fine with line-by-line, too, if that's what you want.

08-29-2011, 04:59 PM
Since I have an upcoming project planned that involves genetically altered immortals, it's probably not a good idea for me to read this. It looks good though!

08-29-2011, 11:37 PM
I'd be happy to take a look at this. I write YA spec fic, so your genre is definitely my thing. I'm also a fast reader. PM me if interested.

09-01-2011, 11:08 PM
PM sent. :)

09-11-2011, 05:31 AM
okay, looking for a second round of betas. Anyone interested?

09-15-2011, 07:56 AM
This sounds right up my alley. I'd like to take a look. :)

09-18-2011, 06:45 PM
I'd love to take a look at this.

09-22-2011, 09:57 PM
If you're still looking for more betas, your story sounds like something I would enjoy. My WIP has violence of it's own so I'm not afraid to tackle dark subjects.

10-13-2011, 08:24 PM
Okay, I have a new draft that's about 3000 words longer, and even though it's on sub, I'd still like to have it out. Anyone interested in reading? I can offer a swap as I'm just finishing up another project.

10-15-2011, 12:50 PM
Yeah, you never sent me a copy even though I gave you my email.

10-15-2011, 02:34 PM
Yeah, you never sent me a copy even though I gave you my email.

Are you sure? I actually remember you because you're from Latvia haha. I'll double check my email.