Your Million Dollar Advance

We're blowing it all on a new house. Far away from where we are now.

I'd pay off all my debts, buy a Dodge Challenger SRT8, new wardrobe cause Papa needs a brand new bag, and definitely will find a way to build a nice business from the ground up to make profits.

I'd probably get really drunk then lose it all on the walk home.

Or maybe...

My dream house (about $400,000 to build, including land).
A nice car ($35,000 maybe?)
A driver because I can't drive. Or a wife who can drive and who also works from home (artistic) so that we can go shopping and stuff. So basically, a courtship and wedding ($60,000 - I do it in style )

How much is that? $495,000... Better up it to $500,000 because I like to spend.

And the other $500,000 would go towards living expenses, shopping, buying musical instruments, paying off student debts, taking more classes (hey, where else am I going to meet an artistic wife?) and generally having backup money for emergencies.

Yeah.

Hookers and beer

Pursuit of happiness.

Clothes.

A lot of clothes.

A pony.


Actually I might. So, half on a nice house with an outbuilding for my writing office and some land for the pony. A pony. A nice holiday. Bung the rest in the bank.

Pay off house

Remodel house

Build moat around house

Buy car that doesn't smell like kid sweat

Stare at blinking cursor until I figure out how to write volume II

Get a lift and a couple of tucks for my 38 longs.


Can you believe that's all I need?


And then I'm there.


It would feel good to arrive.


I can say,


I have arrived!


Where's my check?


Will there be cake?

A small house somewhere nice, some nice furniture to go in it, a sensible car, aaaaaaaaand... that's it. We'll live off the rest.

First, I'd pay off all my debts, especially my student loans (about $37,000) and be sure to set aside enough for the rest of the classes I want to take. (about $82,000 if I make it into the graduate school I want - ouch!)

I have no idea what the taxes would be on that kind of money, so I'll just say a quarter of it goes to Uncle Sam.

I'd blow though...let's say $150,000 traveling the world, and my parents want to go to France so maybe $30,000 there so they can go in style. And $15,000 to my brother who would love to go to Switzerland (and Monte Carlo, especially with that much cash)

Then I'd send $100,000 to my favorite charity, Women for Women International, and save the rest so I wouldn't have to worry so much anymore. Good Lord, that's a lot of money!

Pay off all debts, sell this place, get the devil out of here with my kitties, and start anew.

Alternatively, I could spend the whole lot on a ticket with Virgin Space to get the hell off this planet for a few minutes.

Buy a house in the Bay Area -- best place ever!

Wayne K said:

Hookers and beer

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CoriSCapnSkip said:

Pursuit of happiness.

Click to expand...

Exactly

Pay off house, pay off credit cards, then enjoy the lifestyles of those who usually have million-dollar advances dropped in their laps:

Drug addiction followed by detox at the Betty Ford Clinic, then a week of crying on Oprah.

Tax evasion and embezzlement for which I will be exonerated thanks to generous contributions to the proper politicians' political campaigns followed by another week of crying on Oprah.

Weigh all the million-dollar advance offers resulting from saying "But I really believe I'm the one who can write a children's book with a message that kids need to hear."

Hire unscrupulous ghost writer who incorporates entire plagiarized chapters into "my" children's book, followed by a week of crying on Dr. Phil (variety, you know).




Oh, and buy that extremely rare mint-in-box first generation Corning Ware Blue Cornflower 3-quart covered casserole (with the white Pyroceram lid, not Pyrex).

I'd put the check in the shredder. It's an obvious scam.

I would use my $1 million dollar advance and purchase 1 million puddin' cups...because I love me some puddin'

Seriously, I guess I'd pay off all of my debt, buy a new car and maybe a house. The rest would go into savings or a retirement fund (or I'd buy me some puddin' cups).

I don't have any debt to pay off.

I'd buy a place in Edinburgh. Something small, a two-bed flat. The rest I'd live off while I wrote my next book, taking occasional holidays around the world to visit friends.

I'd make sure my parents are comfortable, then buy a new computer and I'd send half of what's left to MacAllister since it's obvious it was AW that made me the writer I am today.

*and I'll need some kind of facial cleanser to get this funny brown discoloration off my nose.

I'm sure I'd put AW in my will or something... *tries to save face*

I'd put 50K into a "fun" account from which I would spend money on travel, clothes, etc. I haven't really got much debt so thats not a problem. I might pay off my second car...
Otherwise, I'd deposit the other 950K into savings (gold), keep my day job, and keep writing.