So, a rich straight white male...

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Gale Haut

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So, a rich straight white male from North Carolina goes into a New England bar.

He asks the bartender, "Did you go to Harvard?"

The bartender says, "Yale."

The North Carolinan says, "DID YOU GO TO HARVARD!?"



.
 
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HarryHoskins

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So, a rich, possibly straight (though it's likely he went to boarding school) white male English general goes up to an Australian digger (sexuality unknown) on the beach at Gallipoli.

He asks the digger, 'Did you come here to die!'

The digger says, 'No mate, I came here yesterday.'
 

backslashbaby

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Yell! Yale. With two syllables, too :D
 

Gale Haut

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A rich straight white male walks into a bar and sits down next to a lawyer with a dog at his feet.

"Does your dog bite?" asks the straight man.

"No," says the lawyer.

A few minutes later, the dog takes a chunk out of his leg.

"I thought you said your dog doesn't bite!" the straight man says, nonplussed.

The lawyer looks from the dog to the straight man's bloody leg and says, "That's not my dog."
 

HarryHoskins

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A rich straight white male walks into a garden centre with a view to creating a petite rockery (or it could be a lesbian of any colour considering cacti grow well in those conditions.*)

'Have you got anything smaller than a rock to make a petite rockery with?' asks the straight man who may or may not be a lesbian.

'A little boulder?' says the seventy three year old garden centre worker who once dabbled with homosexuality during the war (but nothing more than yanking a yank in a display of hands across the ocean).

'HAVE YOU GOT ANYTHING SMALLER THAN A ROCK TO MAKE A PETITE ROCKERY WITH!!!' Says the man who may or may not be a lesbian on account of her wanting a petite rockery in which he/she may or may not grow some cacti.

*In Brighton, England. The gay homosexuals are well known for putting flower boxes in their windows whilst the lesbian homosexuals put out cacti and sometimes (when they are short of money) cactus.
 

Bartholomew

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A priest, a rabbi, and a duck walk into a bar. You'd think by the time it was the duck's turn, one of them would have ducked.

A gay guy, a straight guy, and a catholic priestess walk into a bar skipping and holding hands. The bartender looks up and says, "What is this? A joke?"

A girl walks into a Home Depot and asks where the caulk is. The attendant sniggers and then shows her.

A gay gentleman comes later and asks the same question. The same attendant sniggers and then shows him.

Richard Simmons walks in moments later and repeats the request. Alarms go off.

Bart, confused.
 

darkprincealain

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If he went to Princeton there'd be some confusion on the straight
issue. It's where the Princeton Rub was supposedly made popular. ;)
 

maxmordon

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They asked in (add group that is considered stereotypically dimwitted in your culture) Radio about sex with the window opened. They answered: "We have no problem with sex with the window open but with a person is better.
 

Guardian

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A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their computer. The husband puts, "Mypenis," and the wife falls on the ground laughing because on the screen it says, "Error. Not long enough."
 

maxmordon

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Knock-knock.

Who is it?

Someone.

Someone who?

Someone who is knocking at your door.

Oh.




End of Joke. Laugh now.
 

Guardian

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A bear walks into a bar.

Bartender says, "The gay bar is down the street, sir."

Everyone is mauled to death by a bear.

...
 

maxmordon

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A cannibal told another cannibal while eating a clown how the clown tasted exactly like any other person.
 

Guardian

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Chuck Norris went to an optician who told him he needed glasses. The glasses made him look kind of funny, and they were expensive, so he said "No thank you."
 

Guardian

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A deaf mute walked into a bar.

Bartender says, "What'll you have?"

Deaf mute says, "..."
 
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