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gothicangel
08-05-2011, 05:34 PM
http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/images/B004V9ODEK/ref=dp_image_text_z_0?ie=UTF8&n=266239&s=books

Is that a gladius in your hand, or are you pleased to see me? :badthoughts

Carlene
08-05-2011, 06:35 PM
OH ....MY......

Carlene

amrose
08-05-2011, 06:39 PM
Tee hee.

The colors are lovely.

Susan Littlefield
08-05-2011, 06:40 PM
Well, that depends on where your mind is...:D

amrose
08-05-2011, 06:48 PM
Always in the gutter :)

shaldna
08-05-2011, 07:07 PM
I love bad book covers.

http://www.google.co.uk/search?hl=en&q=bad%20book%20covers&safe=active&um=1&ie=UTF-8&tbm=isch&source=og&sa=N&tab=wi

some of my most favourite places on the web:

http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/

Undercover
08-05-2011, 07:09 PM
Always in the gutter :)

same here...and I ditto "Oh...my"

BigWords
08-05-2011, 08:14 PM
I actually have the Rifleman comic which shows up in the Google search in my collection. It isn't alone in raising eyebrows (http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=uscc_part1).

gothicangel
08-05-2011, 08:19 PM
I love bad book covers.

http://www.google.co.uk/search?hl=en&q=bad%20book%20covers&safe=active&um=1&ie=UTF-8&tbm=isch&source=og&sa=N&tab=wi

some of my most favourite places on the web:

http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/

Cooking With Pooh, oh dear . . .

:ROFL:

Phaeal
08-05-2011, 08:29 PM
As Troi told Data, sometimes a knife is just a knife.

DreamWeaver
08-05-2011, 08:54 PM
Cooking With Pooh, oh dear . . .

:ROFL:Same here. Best (worst?) one in the group. But the chicken pulling a train is a very close second.

Zelenka
08-05-2011, 10:28 PM
I'd be more worried about the fact his backside's on fire...

Jess Haines
08-05-2011, 11:56 PM
KB often posts excellent :crazy: and :Wha: and :Jaw: covers and such on her weekly WTFery posts.

Exhibt A (http://kbgbabbles.blogspot.com/2011/07/wtfckery-or-not-you-decide.html)

Exhibit B (http://kbgbabbles.blogspot.com/2011/07/wtf-or-not-you-decide_17.html)

Exhibit C (http://kbgbabbles.blogspot.com/2011/05/wtf-or-not-you-decide_29.html)

My work here is done. :D

Becky Black
08-06-2011, 12:30 AM
See if it was historical romance - the natural home of the penis-sword cover - nobody would bat an eyelid. But on a straight historical it's a tad unfortunate.

gothicangel
08-06-2011, 12:46 AM
I'd be more worried about the fact his backside's on fire...

I missed that! Must be the Flavian wine! ;)

Chris P
08-06-2011, 12:55 AM
Via one of the links on the Google page Shaldna linked to: http://thelistcafe.com/mega-bad-book-covers

Golden.

jennontheisland
08-06-2011, 01:47 AM
Yeah, that was pretty obviously done on purpose. Just as it was with some of the old school Fabio covers.

Rotten Romance and Uncle Walter (http://covers.unclewaltersrants.com/)have the best bad covers.

dgiharris
08-06-2011, 01:52 AM
Talk about the "rise" of Rome :)

Mel...

shelleyo
08-06-2011, 02:12 AM
I doubt it's unfortunate so much as deliberate.

Men may buy that book and not even know why....

One of my favorite phallic references is in a James Bond movie, the one will the wonderful Sean Bean as 006, when Bond is in a tank barreling down the road, standing up with his upper body out of the hatch, and the cannon is of course right where is penis would be.

That kind of stuff is done all the time, subtly and not-so-subtly, because it works.

(And sometimes it's an accident, and the person who notices it just has a dirty mind. *looks around*)

Shelley

thewife
08-06-2011, 08:51 PM
I love bad book covers.

http://www.google.co.uk/search?hl=en&q=bad%20book%20covers&safe=active&um=1&ie=UTF-8&tbm=isch&source=og&sa=N&tab=wi

some of my most favourite places on the web:

http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/

Thanks bunches for the link to the blog about bad sci-fi covers! We were actually thinking about doing one (like the romance covers, but for sci-fi), but I convinced UW that romance was "our thing." Now I'm really glad because that site is well done.

Some sci-fi covers are truly atrocious. We do, on occasion, put one in (although, in fairness to us, the author of this one (http://covers.unclewaltersrants.com/2010/06/i-read-this-blog-because-uncle-walter-is-so-funny.html) is a romance writer as well). We tried to do a contest with it, since we couldn't come up with a caption we felt was equal to the awfulness of the cover, but that was a bust. Now we don't do contests anymore.

ANYWAY, the point being that sci-fi covers are worthy of their own blog, and I'm glad to see there is one. And I'm now following it. :)

thewife
08-06-2011, 08:55 PM
Yeah, that was pretty obviously done on purpose. Just as it was with some of the old school Fabio covers.

Rotten Romance and Uncle Walter (http://covers.unclewaltersrants.com/)have the best bad covers.

As always, thanks for sharing the UW love. ;)

Shadow_Ferret
08-06-2011, 09:27 PM
http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/images/B004V9ODEK/ref=dp_image_text_z_0?ie=UTF8&n=266239&s=books

Is that a gladius in your hand, or are you pleased to see me? :badthoughts

What am I looking for? Is it behind the sword?

gothicangel
08-06-2011, 09:37 PM
What am I looking for? Is it behind the sword?

It's the position of the sword. A Gladius is a short sword used by the Roman Army.

brainstorm77
08-06-2011, 11:01 PM
Big penis did not come instantly to my mind when I looked at that cover. * shrugs *

thewife
08-06-2011, 11:16 PM
It's the position of the sword. A Gladius
is a short sword used by the Roman Army.

There's also an epidemic (http://covers.unclewaltersrants.com/2011/06/the-warrior-heather-grothaus.html) of highlanders attempting to decapitate (http://covers.unclewaltersrants.com/2010/11/the-scottish-nobles-wouldnt-wait-for-the-revolutionaries-they-decapitated-themselves.html) themselves with swords (http://covers.unclewaltersrants.com/2011/06/this-is-getting-to-be-quite-the-problem.html).

Then there's the people stabbing[/URL] themselves in the [URL="http://covers.unclewaltersrants.com/2010/09/the-book-home-vasectomy-for-dummies-was-probably-not-his-wisest-investment.html"]crotch (http://covers.unclewaltersrants.com/2010/09/the-book-home-vasectomy-for-dummies-was-probably-not-his-wisest-investment.html) with swords (http://covers.unclewaltersrants.com/2011/05/highland-barbarian-hannah-howell.html)...

And scratching (http://covers.unclewaltersrants.com/2010/01/we-all-end-up-dead-its-just-a-question-of-how-and-why.html) their backs (http://covers.unclewaltersrants.com/2010/04/be-sure-to-be-dry.html) with their swords (http://covers.unclewaltersrants.com/2011/03/the-marks-on-my-back-no-no-of-course-i-wasnt-with-another-woman.html)...

But the phallic imagery is probably the worst. Perhaps this (http://covers.unclewaltersrants.com/2010/08/this-is-my-sword-there-are-many-like-it-but-this-one-is-mine.html) will illustrate it better?

gothicangel
08-07-2011, 12:07 AM
There's also an epidemic (http://covers.unclewaltersrants.com/2011/06/the-warrior-heather-grothaus.html) of highlanders attempting to decapitate (http://covers.unclewaltersrants.com/2010/11/the-scottish-nobles-wouldnt-wait-for-the-revolutionaries-they-decapitated-themselves.html) themselves with swords (http://covers.unclewaltersrants.com/2011/06/this-is-getting-to-be-quite-the-problem.html).

Then there's the people stabbing themselves in the crotch (http://covers.unclewaltersrants.com/2010/09/the-book-home-vasectomy-for-dummies-was-probably-not-his-wisest-investment.html) with swords (http://covers.unclewaltersrants.com/2011/05/highland-barbarian-hannah-howell.html)...

And scratching (http://covers.unclewaltersrants.com/2010/01/we-all-end-up-dead-its-just-a-question-of-how-and-why.html) their backs (http://covers.unclewaltersrants.com/2010/04/be-sure-to-be-dry.html) with their swords (http://covers.unclewaltersrants.com/2011/03/the-marks-on-my-back-no-no-of-course-i-wasnt-with-another-woman.html)...

But the phallic imagery is probably the worst. Perhaps this (http://covers.unclewaltersrants.com/2010/08/this-is-my-sword-there-are-many-like-it-but-this-one-is-mine.html) will illustrate it better?

:)

MichelleH
08-07-2011, 12:15 AM
Big penis did not come instantly to my mind when I looked at that cover. * shrugs *

Same here. I spent a good 5 minutes zooming in and out, trying to figure out what was so funky about it.

gothicangel
08-07-2011, 01:22 AM
Same here. I spent a good 5 minutes zooming in and out, trying to figure out what was so funky about it.

Either you're pure in mind or I have a dirty one. ;)

gothicangel
08-07-2011, 03:16 PM
For all the mocking of the jacket, I do recommend the book. Much better written than Simon Scarrow and Anthony Riches. :)

thewife
08-08-2011, 09:28 AM
For all the mocking of the jacket, I do recommend the book. Much better written than Simon Scarrow and Anthony Riches. :)

A bad cover really isn't a hallmark of a bad book. Even Fabio graced the covers of some halfway decent works. And we all know authors rarely have much input on the art.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, don't feel bad for ragging a bit on the... "unfortunate" covers. :D

Phaeal
08-09-2011, 05:50 PM
My impression, as an alien, is that Scotland has a very odd climate. From ground level to about three-four feet up, the air is very cold. From three-four feet up and onward, the air is very hot and humid.

ViolettaVane
08-09-2011, 07:30 PM
Laughing out loud at the Scotland weather analysis.

thewife
08-09-2011, 09:21 PM
My impression, as an alien, is that Scotland has a very odd climate. From ground level to about three-four feet up, the air is very cold. From three-four feet up and onward, the air is very hot and humid.

Oh, I don't know... In some places it's clearly very, very warm. Can there be any other explanation for things like this (http://covers.unclewaltersrants.com/2011/06/the-very-virile-viking-sandra-hill.html) and this (http://covers.unclewaltersrants.com/2011/03/in-the-land-of-groin.html) (talk about phallic imagery!) and this (http://covers.unclewaltersrants.com/2011/02/the-magnificent-rogue-iris-johansen.html) and this (http://covers.unclewaltersrants.com/2010/06/the-passion-of-the-pipsqueaks-also-known-as-steroids-in-love.html) and this (http://covers.unclewaltersrants.com/2010/01/that-hair-those-legs-that-kilt-wait-is-that-a-kilt.html) (OMG. Just... OMG). Maybe in summer it becomes uniformly hot?

All I know is that after 2 years of spending day after day looking at these things we have mostly become immune to the hideousnous. But only mostly.

Phaeal
08-09-2011, 09:39 PM
Ah, now that my alien probot has sent back some full-figure shots of the Scottish male, I realize that the climate is very cold from ground to knee, then very hot from knee to hemline, then very cold from hemline to waist, then very hot the rest of the way up. Evidently the females deal with this problem by pulling up their skirts and pulling down their bodices.

Interesting, but thick fur shaved in various poodle cuts would be more efficient.

thewife
08-09-2011, 09:49 PM
Ah, now that my alien probot has sent back some full-figure shots of the Scottish male, I realize that the climate is very cold from ground to knee, then very hot from knee to hemline, then very cold from hemline to waist, then very hot the rest of the way up. Evidently the females deal with this problem by pulling up their skirts and pulling down their bodices.

Interesting, but thick fur shaved in various poodle cuts would be more efficient.

You've seen the photos -- they can't GROW thick fur. They can't even grow normal body hair. Also, and I don't know if you've noticed this, but they've got a problem with excess body-oil. They must have some awesome trick for preventing pimples. But they don't like this (http://covers.unclewaltersrants.com/2010/01/so-that-was-the-scandal.html) guy -- they kept the secret from him. Either that or he's the Scottish, kilt-wearing equivalent of a nerd. I bet he's wearing taped up glasses and is holding a D&D handbook just out of sight.

gothicangel
08-09-2011, 11:43 PM
Ah, now that my alien probot has sent back some full-figure shots of the Scottish male, I realize that the climate is very cold from ground to knee, then very hot from knee to hemline, then very cold from hemline to waist, then very hot the rest of the way up. Evidently the females deal with this problem by pulling up their skirts and pulling down their bodices.

Interesting, but thick fur shaved in various poodle cuts would be more efficient.

:ROFL:

On the subject of the Scottish weather . . . you can quite easily have four seasons in one day - seriously.