Middle Children

As I recall it, middle children are rebels.

A huge amount of research has been done on birth order, so you should be able to find more than you want by searching the internet.

This is a typical sample.
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2002/06/10/earlyshow/living/parenting/main511694.shtml

A middle child is often a compromiser or diplomat, the one who works out the problems of the parents and/or the younger vs. older children. I've heard that it is the youngest children who are often the most rebellious, experimental, and sometimes 'spoiled,' especially in large families. As a middle child I've often had to compromise what I want to keep peace in the family. When my older and younger sisters fight, which they did a lot in the past, I'd be the one making coffee and trying to talk about the weather. If that didn't work, I'd be talking to one and lying about the other - 'Oh, she didn't really mean it when she said you were wasting your life with that guy ...' Etc.

I'm the third of four children, but I'm not sure that qualifies me as a middle child. My older brother and sister are 2 years apart, then there is five years between my older sister and me and then my younger sister. So it is almost like my parents had two sets of kids- I act very much like the older child and my brother (the oldest) and I are very alike- that being stubborn, imaginative, outspoken and yes rebelious. My sisters- both older and younger act like the babies of the family. Sheltered, spoiled. Don't know if that helps - but there ya go

Snick said:

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2002/06/10/earlyshow/living/parenting/main511694.shtml

Click to expand...

What is says here about the middle child pretty much sums me up, although what it says about the first-born describes me a lot better than it does my brother. My older brother and younger sister have very similar personalities whereas I am the odd one out, and like jaksen said, I am the compromiser/peacemaker of the family.

I haven't read the link yet, but I really was ignored. Marcia, Marcia, Marcia

If my younger sibling hadn't been the only son in the family, it might have been different. And in a lot of ways I'm glad I wasn't the oldest, getting put through the ringer first! She was a handful and the baby was a boy. I was just around somewhere ('I'm sure she's fine...')

Seriously, you should read The Birth Order Book. It is pretty much right on when it comes to telling about personality and the reasons behind the actions of children. It delves into even the differences between children with siblings of different genders. Like all sisters or all brothers. Best of Luck!

Hi

I am a father of 3 daughters. And myself, the youngest of three boys in my father's house.

A lot of people whom I met voluntarily remarked that the middle child is the most difficult, probably based on their experiences and what they hear from others. I cannot disagree with that fact but I want to add this too; sometimes it is also a result of their personality.

Let me explained briefly. My eldest is the amiable type; naturally, she is easy going and friendly. My second is the assertive and independent type; naturally, she is always on her own. My youngest, everyone loves her because she is so endearing and lovable, enough said.

As their father, I want to make sure everyone gets my attention with all fairness and opportunity (as much as I can).

However, my second girl is relatively more difficult because of her personality. She also has the same personality as me! My wife calls her the 'Little Bobby' because she behaves a lot like me...

kelzey2 said:

What is says here about the middle child pretty much sums me up, although what it says about the first-born describes me a lot better than it does my brother. My older brother and younger sister have very similar personalities whereas I am the odd one out, and like jaksen said, I am the compromiser/peacemaker of the family.

Click to expand...

Yes, I wrote before I looked at the link. There are better sources that say that middle children are not as well defined by their birth order as are first and last children. I was slightly surprised to see that thing aout compromise, but that makes soem sense.

My husband has sometimes said that, as a middle child (well, 3 of 4) he was often overlooked, or, as he has it, 'left to do his own thing'. His elder and younger brothers were encouraged to go to Scouts, frex, but he never was. Still, I'm the younger of two sisters, and we were both pretty much left to do our own thing, so, la.

I have 3 boys (younger, but similar in age to your characters).

My middle guy is very unique. He's very smart, engineer-type, but also sings and plays instruments like a pro. So he gets a lot of attention for his "wow" talents. He is very quiet and sensitive too, BUT because he has these loud brothers, he is much more outgoing than I think he would ever be.

So, I think the middle child can be anything you want him to be. One thing that is somewhat common to a middle is that they get "tacked" onto the older or younger one for activities a lot (although we manage to get him out on his own for things, it is easier to take at least two at once).

He has also learned to ignore a lot of behavior from his peers, because he is so used to hyperfocusing on his tasks. My youngest is less flexible. Is this birth order or personality? I think a mixture of both.

Birth order theory doesn't apply to everyone in every family. Family dynamics play a big part how children view themselves as well as the spacing between children, the family dynamics and birth order of parents, child care etc. Much of personality is inborn. Birth order also isn't always chronologically determined. For example with three siblings, if a first born child is born with a physical or intellectual disability, the middle child might function as the oldest sibling, the youngest as the middle sibling, and the oldest as the youngest sibling. In a dysfunctional family of three, if the first born is the scapegoat, the second child might function as the older sibling. In a family with many siblings, one of the middle children may function as the baby of the family and subsequent children might be parented by older siblings for all intent and purposes. If a mother is the youngest child in her family of origin, for example, she might favor or resent her youngest child, based on her childhood issues upsetting typical birth order dynamics.
I worked with two sisters. The younger one was engaging, cute as can be, and bright. The older one had difficulty socializing, a learning disability, and wasn't physically (traditionally thought of as) attractive. The mom over-identified with the older girl who functioned more like the pesky little sister. The mom proudly told me that she was hiding books from her youngest and discouraging her from reading so the older one wouldn't feel bad her precocious little sister was reading sooner. Arguing with that (lack of) logic is nearly impossible.
Birth order stereotypes, in my opinion, can become cliche in a novel.

PinkAmy reminded me of something that may be important or helpful. Being the 2nd kid, so many folks compared my behavior to my older sister's. Teachers had formed impressions of me the second they asked if my sister was my sister. Aunts and uncles made comments straight out about any differences they noticed.

I'm sure that's common with any younger sibling, but it seems like it may be more pronounced sometimes for the first one to come around.

My older sister also resented anything I achieved first (or better). So it's interesting to note that behavior that could get a first-born praise could be a sore spot for the younger child just because of birth order. The very same behavior! (That always got to me )

I'm sure you're all way too committed to the idea of birth order having some relevance to whatever you think it relates to to listen to me when I tell you the "research" is psuedoscience nonsense.