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View Full Version : Looking for beta for in-progress Crime/Tragedy/Family Drama story...



FurElyse
07-20-2011, 07:34 AM
I'm currently in the process of writing a story that I'd like to try to show to an agent/publishing company someday. I'd love to have a beta, or a few betas, to look over it, and give me advice.
The story is about three brothers - Rafael, Mortimer, and Leonardo. Rafael is 19, the oldest, most responsible brother, always taking care of the younger ones. At 18, Mort is the middle child, always in the shadow of his brothers. He gets lost in the shuffle, and has grown up with a peculiar obsession with death. He's got a cynical, philosophical view of life and death, and craves death. Leo is the youngest, at 17, and is the most reckless. He has no concern for safety, and is capable of being unbelievably selfish.
The story begins when Mortimer attempts suicide, and ends up in a psychiatric hospital. Rafael and Leo, in the wake of this family tragedy, go to a wild party in an attempt to block the confusion and pain out for a little while. They get drunk, and, on the way home, Leo crashes the car. Rafael is killed. Leo is now on trial for manslaughter.
It's all about the gray area between 'guilty' and 'not guilty,' the conflicted feelings of the parents - should they punish their oldest son's murderer, no matter who he is, or should they defend their youngest son, no matter what he's done? Leo struggles with his guilt, and Mort is, as always, caught in the middle. Mort serves as an emotional rock - always the calm in the storm. He is not rattled in the slightest by his brother's death - Mort has a peculiar relationship with death. He guides his younger brother, Leo, through his trial and guilt with his strange philosophies.

I'd love to have a beta, or mentor, if anyone is interested. That would be absolutely amazing. Feel free to pm me, or reply to this thread! I'd love to hear from you, even if you don't want to beta, and would just like to offer your opinion! Thanks!

Lilwritermonkey
07-20-2011, 10:30 PM
Sounds interesting. Would love to read for you... :)