Poetry.com honors me as Editor's Choice. Yippie.

I am forcing myself not to comment much on what I include here -- yet. I want to give you all a chance to have at it...

Most of us know how infamous vanity presses like poetry.com are. Well, I just laughed so hard I had a tear in my eye. Please note that when I submitted this little jewel so worthy of praise, I didn't bother giving it a title.

This is the little note that is supposed to look like somebody printed it on the letter and passed it on to the editor:

"Howard, Ronda's verse is wonderfully expressive -- I suggest you also select it for 'The Sound of Poetry.'
--C. S."

Here is part of the letter I received:

"November 1, 2005
Dear Ronda,
I am delighted to tell you that your poem " " has been awarded our prestigious Editor's Choice Award because it displays a unique perspective and original creativity -- judged to be the qualities msot found in exceptional poetry. Congratulations on your achievement.

Your poem is also featured in a Deluxe Hardbound Edition, which, as expected, will soon be sold out. We have, however, reserved a limited number of copies that are now available only to poets included in this distinctive volume. ..."

It goes on to tell me how to obtain a book and recommends a plaque.

The bottom half of the letter is a certificate "suitable for framing" for outstanding achievement in poetry.

My poem has also been selected for another "honor." Please note that the capitalization of the word "editor" in the following passage is not mine, but theirs:

"Note from Howard Ely

Dear Ronda,
Every so often, as our Editors review the poems that have been presented our Editor's Choice Award, they personally select a few poems they believe would have a wonderful expressive quality if read by a professional reader. Your Editor has suggested that you become one of 33 poets whose artistry will be recorded professionally as a special part of a new CD poetry collection..."

It then goes on to ask for my permission.

Now, you may ask, what literary gem with value beyond measure deserves to be thus immortalized?

My untitled poem reads as follows:

This poem is trash
I know it is
It smells so awful
it makes me sneeze
It looks so bad
it makes me wheeze

But I figure
What the hay
I'll just submit it
Anyway

Oh, truly I have achieved greatness - now will someone help me remove my tongue from my cheek?

I know there's someone who runs a contest for poems that were submitted to vanity presses. Can anyone point me in that direction?

I hope this gave you a laugh.
Warmly,
Ronda

I entered the Wergle Flomp contest - thanks for the link.
I think I'll drop a note to poetry.com and let them know.
Ronda