tried a search but still need help: em dash versus semi colon

I will try to clarify why, but I would consider the first sentence correct, but not the second. I think the second works better as

If anything, it was after we moved out that father completed his crash course -- unfortunately, not on life, but the subject of death.

I think it's because em dashes are interruptions, and then the sentence is picked up again after the dash.

Raphee said:

I've done the search here and gone through a number of threads on the topic. It seems that a lot of threads end up in argument.

So, may I have some help on the proper use of em dash and semi colons in fiction.
Also, where does a comma fit in.
One of the issues is that I use the em dash sparingly, but in this short I've used both em dash and semi colon a lot because of voice. If I make the sentences short I lose the flow.

Take the sentence below from my WIP (this is a short sentence):

If anything, it was after we moved out that father completed his crash course, unfortunately not on life, but the subject of death.

OR

If anything, it was after we moved out that father completed his crash course -- unfortunately, not on life -- but the subject of death.

Also another example that has me in knots is this one. Please help improve this:

Grandmother then lowered her head, and vigorously wiped her already dry eyes before saying, that when the time came to take charge, where did father end up because of this overdose of maternal love? Nowhere, but a landmine—that too after spending a lifetime in meditation—by all means a respectful activity, especially for the dead.

Click to expand...

Okee-doke, a fast review. The semicolon's main use is to join two independent clauses--that's two complete sentences for those who aren't solid on terminology--which are closely related. For this sort of use, if the semicolon can't be replaced with a period and a capital letter to start a new sentence, it's incorrect.

(Yes, semicolons have others uses, but let's save 'em for another time rather than add confusion.)

The emdash, commonly called a dash, is used to mark the beginning (and sometimes the end) of self-interruption by the narrator, or to indicate the end of dialogue interrupted by a character's word or an event. In this usage, we're talking the first one.

With that in mind, I can't accept either version of the first sentence, If anything, it was after we moved out that father completed his crash course, unfortunately not on life, but the subject of death. It doesn't have two independent clauses, so the semicolon can't be right. The two emdashes separating unfortunately not on life from the rest don't really make sense to me, since the tail end of the sentence is part of the same phrase.

If I were not changing the wording, only the punctuation, I'd go with:
If anything, it was after we moved out that father completed his crash course--unfortunately not on life, but the subject of death.

(It's not what you're asking, but I'd probably reword it to make it flow more smoothly. But that's just me. It's your sentence, honest!)

I'd punctuate the second sentence like this:
Grandmother then lowered her head and vigorously wiped her already dry eyes before saying when the time came to take charge, where did father end up because of this overdose of maternal love? Nowhere but a landmine—[and] that too after spending a lifetime in meditation, by all means a respectful activity, especially for the dead.

Again, I'd reword, giving her actual dialogue rather than reporting what she said. Again, just my way, not necessarily yours.

Maryn, hoping to help a bit

Thanks, Raphee. We aim to please!

I suppose I could have been clearer. When I quoted your sentence and followed it with the text you marked in red, I just copied and pasted the first version from your post rather than retyping it. I could have (and probably should have) copied the version with the semicolon. But since neither version has two independent clauses, and since I'm essentially lazy, I didn't.

So yes, I'm explaining the general principle of when you can use a semicolon. If it helps you keep it straight, and if you're taking notes, replace what I quoted with the second version.

We good?

Maryn, wishing you good morning