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J.W.
07-15-2011, 05:09 AM
Please critique my SPOOF query letter.

Dear Lit Agent,

Lance McWinslow is your average everyday Iguodalian. Then one day he begins receiving letters from the dead uncle he never knew he had. Now Lance must figure out if the uncle he never knew he had is really dead. If Lance fails he will not be able to inherit the kingdom of Iguodalia, for unbeknownst to Lance he is the half Crown Prince.

My 280,000 word political thriller, Delilah’s Dream, follows a young man who must chose between the uncle he loved and the kingdom he must lead.

Please contact me using the following enfo provided below. In your reply please note your qualifications for representing my work. If you don’t hear back from me within a week it is because I have not chosen you as my agent.

Sincerly,

J-Roc

BeatrixKiddo
07-15-2011, 06:08 AM
I like how you put "spoof" in bold, black text...ya know, to make it clear this is a spoof. ;)

I thought the last part was quite funny. If only we could get away with that in a query. Ha!

VP_Benni
07-15-2011, 06:19 AM
:ROFL:
Very nice.

~Amber~

J.W.
07-15-2011, 02:07 PM
I like how you put "spoof" in bold, black text...ya know, to make it clear this is a spoof. ;)

I thought the last part was quite funny. If only we could get away with that in a query. Ha!

Having read a lot of query's in QLH I felt the need to ensure people understood this was a spoof and not real.

In fact, the first query I ever posted could have been considered a spoof. Unfortunately, it wasn't.

justkay
08-04-2011, 04:47 PM
Please contact me using the following enfo provided below. In your reply please note your qualifications for representing my work. If you don’t hear back from me within a week it is because I have not chosen you as my agent.

Yes, very fond of this.

Parametric
08-04-2011, 04:49 PM
The scary part is that agents get real queries like this. :tongue

Bleeding Angel
08-04-2011, 07:38 PM
Send it to an agent to see if they say anything xD

Bartholomew
08-04-2011, 08:22 PM
My 280,000 word political thriller

*Starts screaming and never stops ever.*

JayMan
08-04-2011, 09:24 PM
Hello J.W., I thought the conventional wisdom was to request that the agents send a batch of cookies with their reply? That way, you can weed out the agents who are not serious about your MS.

Bleeding Angel
08-04-2011, 10:11 PM
Hello J.W., I thought the conventional wisdom was to request that the agents send a batch of cookies with their reply? That way, you can weed out the agents who are not serious about your MS.

Cookies? I thought it was homemade cake… :(

Chris P
08-04-2011, 10:16 PM
Hello J.W., I thought the conventional wisdom was to request that the agents send a batch of cookies with their reply? That way, you can weed out the agents who are not serious about your MS.

Mine came back with a bottle of Bay Rum. It was a little harsh on the throat, but man did I have vivid dreams that night.

Nexus
08-04-2011, 10:29 PM
lol, the best part is indeed the last line. At one point, I feel like using "Dear Lit Agent" would be quite hilarious as well.

That or "Dear Person Lady".