Everytime You Open This Thread, God Kills a Kitten

Will God please kill MY kitten?

Could God consider adding 15-year-old cats to the death lottery? In particular, 15-year-old cats who comb your hair with their claws when you are trying to sleep?

If so, I will open this thread hourly.

Ooops, I meant to click on a different thread...guess I've killed another kitten.

You're an accomplice . . . crap . . so am I

The kitten is selected at random, so the odds are pretty slim.

Click to expand...

I better keep opening this page, then.

Vaguely Piratical said:

become an accomplice in the Almighty's arbitrary kittenocide.

Click to expand...

Told you . . there goes another one

It will put that book, 101 Uses for a Dead Cat, to good use

Vaguely Piratical said:

You're a monster! Why on earth did you open this thread?

Click to expand...

I'm an Atheist. There is no God (in my opinion, yada yada, disclaim disclaim).

Adam said:

I'm an Atheist. There is no God (in my opinion, yada yada, disclaim disclaim).

Click to expand...

I knew it! I knew the Internet was killing kittens.

I'm curious about why God keeps choosing to kill kittens anyway. What have they done to Him?

22 views.... 22 dead kittens so far.

Keep up the good work! Can we add CATS to the death list? Because I hate my smelly stupid slutty cat.

Vaguely Piratical said:

In that case we really need to find out who is behind these atrocious crimes.

I think it might be Mickey since 1: he's a mouse and 2: he's a sorcerer.

Means, motive and opportunity.

Click to expand...

envision said:

I'm curious about why God keeps choosing to kill kittens anyway. What have they done to Him?

Click to expand...

Guardian said:

22 views.... 22 dead kittens so far.

Keep up the good work! Can we add CATS to the death list? Because I hate my smelly stupid slutty cat.

Click to expand...

It's not God, it's these guys...

cats in the kettle

Vaguely Piratical said:

In that case we really need to find out who is behind these atrocious crimes.

I think it might be Mickey since 1: he's a mouse and 2: he's a sorcerer.

Means, motive and opportunity.

Click to expand...

So Walt Disney is God . . and a kitten killer . .

Guardian said:

Can we add CATS to the death list? Because I hate my smelly stupid slutty cat.

Click to expand...

I'm all for killing cats in general. But not sluts.

Where would we be without them?

Kittens . . .

Sarah Madara said:

I'm all for killing cats in general. But not sluts.

Click to expand...

Hey... don't f*ck my cat, man! :O Haven't you heard of feline AIDS? ...Use protection, at least. heh

But seriously, for her horrendous poop stink alone? That's biological warfare, and that's a terrible crime against humanity.

Somebody want a cat?

Cats are armed and dangerous. We shouldn't negotiate with them.

On the other hand, alleycat is a decent guy...

Ah, joy, once again I'm entering the varied world of Cat Politics.

It must be Thursday.

OMG!!! Poor Fluffy

Adam said:

I'm an Atheist. There is no God (in my opinion, yada yada, disclaim disclaim).

Click to expand...

Ditto. I think the OP is killing the kittens and looking for a scapegoat.