Nervous about new kidlit critique group IRL, and my gay WIP!

Kitty Pryde · Jul 2, 2011

Hallo friends, advice or guidance or gentle slaps gladly welcomed. Here's my story:

Next weekend I'm going to my first ever critique group IRL. It's a kidlit (picture book/middle grade/young adult) specific group I found on the internets and it seems like a nice group of folks, but I haven't met any of them yet. I think they haven't spent much time together yet either, but I'm not sure.

I'd really like to get critiqued on this YA thing I'm currently working on. The opening sections are polished enough for critting. It's a YA fantasy with a gay protagonist, and I'm worried that people will be weirded out by it or otherwise act unpleasantly. (I know that LGBT YA is a glorious and flourishing subgenre, but who knows what these folks will make of it.) The section I would bring is PG rated. It does have a couple of guys in a LTR kissing and holding hands and other boring couply stuff. So part of me is nervous about bringing it (and I have other novels that I could get helpful feedback on instead). I wouldn't hesitate to post it here on AW SYW, because I know enough people here would like it, and if they didn't they wouldn't comment.

But part of me feels bad for even feeling worried about my poor old WIP. I think it's wonderful and why should I worry what other people think of it? That's how I think about introducing myself to new people, why should I treat this protagonist any differently? But I don't want things to be weird, or alarm everyone in a group I'm trying to join. On the other hand, they're already getting a big gay author, would a big gay hero bother them? If they are the type of crowd to be distressed by my story, do I want to be a part of their group?

Should I bring my YA? Chicken out and bring a different story? Bring both and see how the group is when I get there? Am I being stupid for overthinking this?

suki · Jul 2, 2011

Kitty Pryde said:
Hallo friends, advice or guidance or gentle slaps gladly welcomed. Here's my story:

Next weekend I'm going to my first ever critique group IRL. It's a kidlit (picture book/middle grade/young adult) specific group I found on the internets and it seems like a nice group of folks, but I haven't met any of them yet. I think they haven't spent much time together yet either, but I'm not sure.

I'd really like to get critiqued on this YA thing I'm currently working on. The opening sections are polished enough for critting. It's a YA fantasy with a gay protagonist, and I'm worried that people will be weirded out by it or otherwise act unpleasantly. (I know that LGBT YA is a glorious and flourishing subgenre, but who knows what these folks will make of it.) The section I would bring is PG rated. It does have a couple of guys in a LTR kissing and holding hands and other boring couply stuff. So part of me is nervous about bringing it (and I have other novels that I could get helpful feedback on instead). I wouldn't hesitate to post it here on AW SYW, because I know enough people here would like it, and if they didn't they wouldn't comment.

But part of me feels bad for even feeling worried about my poor old WIP. I think it's wonderful and why should I worry what other people think of it? That's how I think about introducing myself to new people, why should I treat this protagonist any differently? But I don't want things to be weird, or alarm everyone in a group I'm trying to join. On the other hand, they're already getting a big gay author, would a big gay hero bother them? If they are the type of crowd to be distressed by my story, do I want to be a part of their group?

Should I bring my YA? Chicken out and bring a different story? Bring both and see how the group is when I get there? Am I being stupid for overthinking this?

Kitty, do they know you are gay? If they do, then I think you are over-thinking it. If anyone was that conservative, they'd have been uncomfortable with you joining, I'd think.

If they don't, or you're not sure, you need to ask yourself if this is a group you would want to be in if you couldn't bring your gay themed writing for critique.

If you would be fine with self-censoring, then bring something else and then bring up at the group that you are really excited about your YA wip, and it has a gay protagonist. If anyone is upset, they'll pre-empt you and then you'll know.

But if you would not feel comfortable self-censoring, then I'm thinking you should bring what you want to bring. And if anyone has an issue, you'll find out sooner rather than later whether it can be worked out.

Now, there is no problem in my opinion if you want to bring something else and get to know them first. Critique is a personal and exposed thing. And you shouldn't feel bad if you do decide to take something else this first time. You need to do what's comfortable.

But if you want to bring the YA with the gay characters, then you need to ask what you are afraid might happen if you do, and if you can live with those consequences. It sounds like, at worst, it would be an uncomfortable meeting, correct? And maybe you wouldn't go back? Well...are you ok with that possibility? If yes, then bring it. If not, then bring something else until you feel comfortable.

~suki

Maxinquaye · Jul 2, 2011

First of all, to be up front, if I suspected I'd go to a critique group filled with old WASPs, I'd bring along the hot parts of an M/M erotic WIP, with a gentler story stuffed in my bag if they turned out to be nice and open-minded. If they didn't turn out to be that, they'd be fanning themselves and looking for an exit after five minutes.

Okay. I've said that, so that's my take on it out of the way, and thus I can get into the more reasoned part. The saddest thing about being a queer is that you must have your safety-alarm on all the time. In some circles I can get away with being a crude ass-slapper that belches out the tune of "I will survive" by Gloria Gaynor. In other situations, not so much. Sometimes I tone myself down to seem a perfectly respectable member of straight society.

So, I don't think it's wrong to think about it, because if you end up with a group of WASPs you could ruin the group, and have a very negative experience and not get anything critiqued at all. Is that worth it? Maybe you should sound them out first, and meet up with them. THen maybe next time you can bring the stuff that'll make smoke come out of their ears, and good smoke at that.

frimble3 · Jul 2, 2011

I'd be tempted to take something that I wasn't really invested in to a first meeting of any group, whether I thought it might be problematic or not. Get a feel for these people before you expose anything you love to them.
Just because they say it's a kidlit (picture book/middle grade/young adult) specific group, doesn't mean that, in practice, they really go all the way across that spectrum. I'd hate to show them something I really cared about and get back a 'Yeah, whatever'.
Check 'em out, see how it works, and if the group suits you.

Gale Haut · Jul 3, 2011

I'm tempted to say "Who cares what they think?" But that's just because it's what I would be saying to myself over and over before entering into a similar situation. I completely understand how you feel, Kitty. Honestly, I don't feel you would be selling out if you do decide to share some of your other writing as you get a better feel for the rest of the group. I say do what you feel most comfortable with, and considering your options you can't go wrong.

Maryn · Jul 3, 2011

I'm a veteran of critique groups which meet in person.

What I'd take to the first meeting is my pretty self and none of my work. You can get a sense of who the people are and whether they know what they're doing when it comes to critique without risking any negative judgment of your work.

It's important to see a group in action before diving in. You need to see that they judge the work independently of any judgment of its author, rather than liking work because they like its creator--or disliking work if they dislike or disapprove of the author.

Any good group will welcome an observer, will explain its goals and its process, will let you sit in on at least one critique session, will answer questions at the end of its meeting. A group that won't do that is not a good group.

Maryn, whose group is going strong 19 years later

Rhoda Nightingale · Jul 3, 2011

Reading about your situation makes me realize how self-centered I've become in my own critique group/writing workshop. The first thing I brought with me to have critiqued was a very steamy scene between two male vampires. It didn't even occur to me to wonder if the people in the group would be weirded out by teh ghey until after I'd sent it already. (We did everything via email the week before, and printed out the selections and brought them with us for the session so we could scribble comments all over them.) My thought process was, "Well, this is what I'm working on, and I don't know if this scene is working--feels heavy on the adjectives. Let's bring that." And they were fine with it.

It's possible you're overthinking it. It's also possible that some of the people in your group might be too conservative to look past teh ghey. But it's also possible, and far more likely, that even if they're weirded out, they can still tell you something useful.

I'll just echo what others have said--if you feel uncomfortable, just don't do it. There's nothing wrong with getting a feel for the group vibe beforehand.

Guardian · Jul 3, 2011

Bring your WIP as is. If they don't like it, you can always leave and that will be that.

Unimportant · Jul 3, 2011

Yup, I'm with the "bring what you've got" crowd. If you leave your real WIP at home and bring along something that can't possibly offend anyone, and the group proves to be homophobic bigots who like your 'fake' work but would hate your WIP because of Teh Gay, would you really want to stay with such a critique group? Would you stop writing gay fiction just to keep them happy?

This isn't just about finding out if you're right for them. It's a two way street. Are they right for you? Only one way to find out.

AutumnLeaves · Jul 3, 2011

I'm just chiming in to echo the others with "Do what you feel comfortable with." I say take both of them, get a feel for the people there, and then you'll be prepared either way. If you want to feel them out for a few meetings before you bring something else to the table, then do that. If you want to unleash it all on the first night, go for it. Whatever you decide to do, I wish you the very best of luck. And remember - it could be worse. You could be here in NarrowMinded, Mississippi, with me!

LOL

Nervous about new kidlit critique group IRL, and my gay WIP!

Kitty Pryde

i luv you giant bear statue

suki

Opinionated

Maxinquaye

That cheeky buggerer

frimble3

Heckuva good sport

Gale Haut

waxing digital artistic

Maryn

Baaa!

Rhoda Nightingale

Vampire Junkie

Guardian

just the worst honestly

Unimportant

No COVID yet. Still masking.

AutumnLeaves

:)