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View Full Version : Where Do Intelligent, Creative Men Hang Out?



DenimSoul
11-07-2005, 05:26 AM
Hi. The title pretty much tells it all. I would like to find some intelligent, creative men in the 35-45 age range. Where do these type men go to 'relax' (please don't tell me the BAR or CLUB!!). My writing and critique group has creative and intelligent men but they are mostly in the 60+ age range.

If anyone has any insight I'd appreciate your input.

As you know pursuing a writing career doesn't leave much time for a social outlet especially when you work a day job too. But a girl has to keep trying!

scarletpeaches
11-07-2005, 05:28 AM
Handsome, caring, witty, polite, kind, sexy men hang out at the same kind of place the world over.

A gay bar.

scarletpeaches
11-07-2005, 05:28 AM
Damn you and your quick typing, KTC - damn you to Hades!

scarletpeaches
11-07-2005, 05:31 AM
Damn you and your rhyming couplets! Damn you to...er, Guam.

I wouldn't piss on your face if your moustache was on fire, madam! ;)

Gehanna
11-07-2005, 05:53 AM
Did someone call for me? ..... Thought I heard the word Hades. lol

rtilryarms
11-07-2005, 05:55 AM
damn

Unique
11-07-2005, 06:51 AM
DenimSoul

A lot of them hang out here. Only a few things wrong with that.

1) A lot of them are spoken for
2) Some of them live on the other side of the world
3) A good number of them have their own entries in the DSM II.

But - other than that, you can find them here.

watcher
11-07-2005, 08:56 AM
The library, you gotta check out the library.

brokenfingers
11-07-2005, 09:06 AM
3) A good number of them have their own entries in the DSM II.
What is DSM II?

Unique
11-07-2005, 09:13 AM
What is DSM II?

Diagnostic Service Manual
Directory of Sado/Masochists
Diagnostic & Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders
Diabolical Service Methods
Directory of Sales Marketing

(I think you're on page 365)

brokenfingers
11-07-2005, 09:17 AM
Actually I have a full page profile on p.162 in Directory of Sexy Men (2005 North American Edition)

Unique
11-07-2005, 09:19 AM
Pictures?:D

Lantern Jack
11-07-2005, 09:35 AM
I'm a creative, intelligent man. I hang out here. Except when I'm in a gay bar.

Lyra Jean
11-07-2005, 09:40 AM
Wow all three together! I thought the choices was intelligence, creativity, or a man. I didn't know you could have all three at once.

Lantern Jack
11-07-2005, 10:20 AM
So everyone can see a fine example of what a creative, intelligent man looks like, I've changed my Avatar and Profile Picture to reflect my present adonis-like visage. Now, since I've been so busy being intelligent and creative, I haven't had time to shave for a couple days, and I haven't had a haircut in five months, so be gentle.

Mrs.Firefly
11-07-2005, 12:01 PM
Handsome, caring, witty, polite, kind, sexy men hang out at the same kind of place the world over.

A gay bar.


i was thinking the same thing.

- Mrs.Firefly

Optimus
11-07-2005, 12:22 PM
We should change the name of this forum to the "Gay Party."

I'm not gay, but I am intelligent, creative, handsome, sexy, funny, caring, polite, kind, but also stubborn and pedantic, can cook, play guitar, am great with kids, am a future doctor....

...but I'm under 30 and like girls who are 22-25.


If it weren't for that, we coulda been magic together.

Carole
11-07-2005, 03:21 PM
Coffe houses, but not popular, trendy ones. There's one here in the old city that's always got a few interesting cats in there.

Carole
11-07-2005, 03:29 PM
*oops!*

aspier
11-07-2005, 04:33 PM
On the Boat = http://users.skynet.be/spier/argoboatindex.htm

aspier
11-07-2005, 04:34 PM
We should change the name of this forum to the "Gay Party."

I'm not gay, but I am intelligent, creative, handsome, sexy, funny, caring, polite, kind, but also stubborn and pedantic, can cook, play guitar, am great with kids, am a future doctor....

...but I'm under 30 and like girls who are 22-25.


If it weren't for that, we coulda been magic together.


Mmm you are gay!

Maryn
11-07-2005, 07:14 PM
Where I live, there's a small handful of places to seek men like that.

A local bar--yes, a bar--has a Q&A game that draws intelligent men and women playing in teams, and intelligent men and women watching and cheering. I know of two women who frequently went there with friends to watch, were asked if they'd sub for a missing team member, and ended up dating someone from the team or the competition.

Coffee houses, bagel, bread or pastry shops, etc. that aren't trendy and filled with teenagers and college students. If your city has an older urban section that's gentrified, that's probably where they'll be. Take an interesting novel or jot your writing notes in a spiral, and spend a pleasant or useful half hour frequently so you'll have an answer for "Come here often?"

Social activism gatherings, for whatever cause. If it's a single event of a half-day's duration or more, you'll get to talking to others. Go protest or support something with like-minded individuals.

If you're not particularly political, there are still lots of causes, like Habitat for Humanity or groups seeking to upgrade hiking trails, that don't necessarily attract rabidly opinionated people. Best bets will be groups that plan, then work as a group to accomplish a single goal. Avoid charity walks, playground committees, and anything where the nature of the work is one-on-one, like literacy volunteerism. Any group that will do something physical not intended solely for children is a good bet.

Classes likely to attract mostly men. Whether it's at Home Depot or the local college, there's probably something you'd benefit from learning--and any guys you might meet are just gravy.

Cultural events like art film show and discussion, museums celebrating new exhibits, book lectures, symposia, travelogues...

The library and the local bookstore's book discussion groups--if and only if they're not largely female. (Many are.)

Music events on a small, intimate scale. You probably wouldn't meet anybody in an arena filled with 5,000 screaming fans, but if you give an acoustic guitarist playing to a small house, or a medieval lutist performing in space borrowed from a church, a chance you might find new musical interests and people open to new experiences to share it with.

For what it's worth, the give-away newspaper with liberal leanings has a much more complete list of what's going on than the mainstream paper.

Maryn, so glad she's no longer looking

aspier
11-07-2005, 08:33 PM
Maryn I don't think she meant that, grouping and cheering in a bar on a q&a. Denimsoul, here's the place to be = http://absolutewrite.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=14 Just hang out there long enough, creating the illusion of steady permanancy. The 'intelligent' one's will come and bait you when they get that feel. Scatterbrains with a here and a there scare them away. And also pretend you are into poetry ... but don't make clever statements about poems or write a better one! OMG don't dare THAT! That'll cost you your head and the fish will swim away.

Oh and run the most stupid avatar you can get. Nothing at all suggesting you're hot should tag you. Intelligent men sence where gold is to be digged ... but they need a lead-on. What else? Ah, these things always work with reverses. [Example: intelligent men take posh women to McDonalds on a first date and poor 'unclassy' women - mostly poor women have more class - to posh restaurants! Works like a bomb! Intrigue both and then they come up with this question: 'Why do you bring me here? Implying 'Oh, you are so intelligent, you know what I don't have!' And whap! Hooked!]

Anyway, where do YOU hang out? Oh, just asking...

scarletpeaches
11-07-2005, 08:38 PM
It's way different here in Scotland. You don't just go up to a bloke you fancy or he'll think you're only after one thing. If a guy came up to me and asked me out to dinner after chatting for a few minutes, or asked for my number, I'd think he was a mental case, or a stalker. It's just not the done thing here, to ask someone out unless you know them well first. Funny how attitudes to dating differ the world over.

aruna
11-07-2005, 08:39 PM
Here = http://absolutewrite.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=14

...

Ah so that's where you hang out....

September skies
11-07-2005, 08:41 PM
I tend to hang out here, at the AW Water Cooler. Hope this answers your question.

Denimsoul - you'll catch on as you continue to hang out here, Aw'ers tend to change their avatar pic frequently. So, just so you know....that is not a pic of KTC next to his post. (not today anyway)

aruna
11-07-2005, 08:42 PM
Back when I was young, it was unheard of for a girl to make a first move. She had to be coy and hard to get, and pretend not to be interested. At parties, all the girls sat on chairs around the walls of the room and waited for the boys to ask them to dance, and if you got left behind ou felt like a proper idiot nobody wanted.
How times change...

scarletpeaches
11-07-2005, 08:42 PM
And of course, KTC is a bit...well, 'quirkier' than most, when it comes to avatars.

robeiae
11-07-2005, 08:44 PM
Where Do Intelligent, Creative Men Hang Out?
The Apple store? (hey, you didn't say "good-looking")

Seriously-cultural attractions; go to museum openings.

Rob :)

scarletpeaches
11-07-2005, 08:44 PM
I'd never ask a bloke out, I want to feel as if he's interested enough in me to make the first move. I've never seen a relationship work out where the woman made the first move...call me old-fashioned, but each to their own. Of course, it could be because I've read The Rules...;)

scarletpeaches
11-07-2005, 08:51 PM
I feel a change of avatar coming on later this evening...Heaven forbid the King of Quirk should think I am quirkier than he! :D

robeiae
11-07-2005, 09:12 PM
KTC, you're right. Intelligent, creative men do hang out here... :D

Rob :)

scarletpeaches
11-07-2005, 09:12 PM
Well you can have the penetrating glare or the Penguin of Doom. It's your choice.

Tiaga
11-07-2005, 09:20 PM
I'd never ask a bloke out, I want to feel as if he's interested enough in me to make the first move. I've never seen a relationship work out where the woman made the first move...call me old-fashioned, but each to their own. Of course, it could be because I've read The Rules...;)

Well lets see. Thirty two years ago a girl I knew was throwing a party. It was also great becuse I was celebrating my 18th B-Day (the legal drinking age). I went to the bar in the late afternoon with some friends and we later showed up at the party but it was early and we were the only ones there. I fell asleep leaning against a large speaker. Later with the music blasting and the party in full swing I woke to find this pretty girl sitting beside me with her hand on mine.
We married two years later and celebrated our 30th anniversary this year.
It does happen.
ps The girl who had the party well apparently it was for me sheesh she never spoke to me again.

pps You know I never really thought the party was just for me and it wasn't until years later that a friend told us how upset ***** was. oh well
k sara k sara

scarletpeaches
11-07-2005, 09:28 PM
I know this is a terribly old fashioned attitude, but it's mine, and it works for me. The way I look at it is, if a guy is too shy to ask me out, he'll likely be too shy in other areas, if you get my drift? ;)

And after a couple of brief affairs where I did the asking and it all went pear-shaped pretty soon, it would be nice to have a guy chase me, to feel valued.

That's just my view on things, what I would do, given my past experiences.

Oh, and KTC - I have some interesting penguin items on my hard drive if you would be interested?

robeiae
11-07-2005, 09:37 PM
Oh, and KTC - I have some interesting penguin items on my hard drive if you would be interested?
I think his hard drive is already full...

Rob :)

scarletpeaches
11-07-2005, 09:40 PM
He needs to make room for these. These are the dog's bollocks.

scarletpeaches
11-07-2005, 09:48 PM
Right. I'll keep the penguin porn to myself.

(Okay, it was an amusing little video I was emailed today of a penguin jumping about so much it looked like it was dancing at a nightclub...)

:D

aka eraser
11-07-2005, 11:08 PM
I think we've helped her find out where the intelligent, creative, weird guys hang out.

aspier
11-07-2005, 11:11 PM
Intelligent men don't have penguines or hard drives! They do it softer, much softer and ... oeee slow! The brain thing that is.

BradyH1861
11-07-2005, 11:13 PM
If the current Mrs. Brady H. had not made the first move and spoken to me, then I'd probably still be single to this day.

Brady H.

aspier
11-07-2005, 11:16 PM
Ah so that's where you hang out....

Never! I never go there! Oh, you got to believe me! I'm not me honestly! You probably not, too!

aspier
11-07-2005, 11:20 PM
If the current Mrs. Brady H. had not made the first move and spoken to me, then I'd probably still be single to this day.

Brady H.


See that's the problem with birds! If they don't fly they talk you into it! But then again you must be intelligent = you didn't complain, did you?

Boy, you are clever!

scarletpeaches
11-07-2005, 11:41 PM
I don't care where guys hang out, they oughtta keep the zips done up.

aspier
11-08-2005, 12:47 AM
I don't care where guys hang out, they oughtta keep the zips done up.


I'm a Scotsman ... what's a zip?

scarletpeaches
11-08-2005, 12:49 AM
I'm a Scotswoman, and I wear mirrored toecaps. :D

aspier
11-08-2005, 01:07 AM
I'm a Scotswoman, and I wear mirrored toecaps. :D


Want to go to an upclass restaurant?

aspier
11-08-2005, 01:09 AM
MacDonalds.

DenimSoul
11-08-2005, 04:21 AM
Hi. Well I never said I was going to be the one to ask the guy out. I'm old fashioned too. However, you have to be seen and in order for me to be seen by the type of man I'm looking for I had to find out where he was spending his time. Thanks to everyone that has posted. I've gotten some great ideas on places I need to start visiting on a regular basis and I've had quite a few chuckles over the rest of the posts. You guys and gals are AWESOME!!

maestrowork
11-08-2005, 07:27 AM
Hi. The title pretty much tells it all. I would like to find some intelligent, creative men in the 35-45 age range. Where do these type men go to 'relax' (please don't tell me the BAR or CLUB!!). My writing and critique group has creative and intelligent men but they are mostly in the 60+ age range.

If anyone has any insight I'd appreciate your input.

As you know pursuing a writing career doesn't leave much time for a social outlet especially when you work a day job too. But a girl has to keep trying!

Come to the house of love...

Oh, you said "intelligent." Never mind.

scarletpeaches
11-08-2005, 07:32 AM
Want to go to an upclass restaurant?

Do they serve haggis 'n' neeps and deep-fried mars bars? :D

maestrowork
11-08-2005, 07:32 AM
If the current Mrs. Brady H. had not made the first move and spoken to me, then I'd probably still be single to this day.

Brady H.

Hmmm... that explains certain things to me...


Seriously, coffee shops, libraries, concerts, bookstores, art festivals, Jazz clubs, etc. At least these are the places *I* hang out. Come and catch me. ;)

scarletpeaches
11-08-2005, 07:33 AM
It's difficult finding a man who wants to be caught!

aspier
11-08-2005, 11:09 AM
It's difficult finding a man who wants to be caught!

Not for a Muse that got 'click me' in her signature! Say, forget MacDonalds, let's go to McJean-Pierre's. We go for McScotish salmon imported from Norway ... we order it with dille and red and yellow peppers. And you wear those shoes of yours ... boy, are they nice and shiney! One can see a Brave New World in them! Very exciting! (oops! almost I confused 'exciting' with 'inviting')

blisswriter
11-10-2005, 10:05 AM
What about book stores? The track? (running not racing) Church? The ATM line at the bank? Evening/weekend classes at your local community college?

I'm not sure...

MadScientistMatt
11-10-2005, 05:50 PM
I'd never ask a bloke out, I want to feel as if he's interested enough in me to make the first move. I've never seen a relationship work out where the woman made the first move...call me old-fashioned, but each to their own. Of course, it could be because I've read The Rules...;)

When my now-fiancee and I went on our first date, it was because she had asked me out. That may not have been the "first" move, since I had asked her for her phone number about six months before then and she turned me down flat. But we had continued to be friends. If you're wondering where we met, it was in church.

In addition to being taken, I'm a little younger than what DenimSoul's looking for. But I'll list some of my favorite places to hang out besides church:


Yes, I probably spend a bit too much time on message boards.
I enjoy hiking and often go to local hiking trails.
Car club meetings. I'm heading to an SCCA autocross (sort of a mini-racing event) this weekend.
The library. I'm there pretty often.
Occasionally, museums.
The movies. Hey, sometimes I like catching a mindless "guy movie."
Hope this helps a little!

DenimSoul
11-11-2005, 04:21 AM
Hi Everybody,

Thanks for all of these suggestions. I've tried several of them in the past but some of the others I hadn't thought of before now. I appreciate all of your help.

pconsidine
11-11-2005, 07:03 PM
Wow. I'm dismayed that no one has even mentioned the most obvious place - your local independent bookstore. Equally useful is any used bookstore, if you have any of those around your area. I used to run into the most interesting women in the used bookstore around the corner from my first place in Boston.

Maryn
11-11-2005, 09:01 PM
pconsidine, I used to frequent used bookstores in Boston! (Were you that guy I flirted with?) I'm curious where your first place in Boston was--and when.

Maryn, returning the rest of you to our regularly scheduled thread

aadams73
11-11-2005, 09:22 PM
I have far more useful advice for finding Mr. Right Now rather than Mr. Right(although I am now happily married to my Mr. Right).

<deep breath>

The mens' underwear department at any good department store. Men buying their own underwear are usually single and you can always pretend you're looking for a gift for your father/brother. Plus, you can sort the boxers guys from the briefs guys that way.

Ok, I'm going to crawl back under my rock now ;)

DenimSoul
11-11-2005, 11:27 PM
Can you see me blushing! Wow.

pconsidine
11-11-2005, 11:35 PM
pconsidine, I used to frequent used bookstores in Boston! (Were you that guy I flirted with?) I'm curious where your first place in Boston was--and when. Maryn -

This was a place on Brighton Ave. in Allston called Diskovery. The woman who ran the place used to let people take books on the promise to pay her later for them (which everyone always did). Some of my particularly prized books came from there, like a French science textbook from 1890 explaining how they calculated the circumference of the world and inscribed from a teacher to Marie, an apparently troublesome student. This would have been late '94.

I also used to hang out at the book store on Exeter St. whose name escapes me at the moment and has since closed. So sad.

maestrowork
11-12-2005, 01:49 AM
The mens' underwear department at any good department store. Men buying their own underwear are usually single and you can always pretend you're looking for a gift for your father/brother. Plus, you can sort the boxers guys from the briefs guys that way.


Are you telling me there are actually women around me gawking while I pick out my Calvin Kleins super-contour pouch-enhancing easy-access white bikini 3-packs (medium)?

aadams73
11-12-2005, 01:50 AM
Are you telling me there are actually women around me gawking while I pick out my Calvin Kleins super-contour pouch-enhancing easy-access white bikini 3-packs (medium)?

Maybe ;)

Maryn
11-12-2005, 02:29 AM
pconsidine, I guess we didn't meet in Boston, then. I'm blanking on the name of the one I liked, but it was on Beacon street not far from Coolidge Corner. You could get off the T, visit, and reboard for free because it was so near the end of the line.

I like to think the bookstore is still there, twenty years later. I kind of don't want to know if it's gone...

Maryn, who was only just getting started amassing books in ridiculous quantity

pconsidine
11-12-2005, 02:34 AM
I think I know the one you're talking about, though I can't remember the name of it either. I think it moved over to Harvard St. at some point in the last 20 years and was still in business as of 2000, when I moved to Arlington and stopped hanging out in that area.

Boy do I miss independent bookstores. I don't think there's one in all of Connecticut.