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CaroGirl
06-28-2011, 09:50 PM
I don't have a sister but I want to write a realistic sisterly relationship in my novel.

What's your relationship with your sister like? Now versus when you were children?
Do you fight and, if so, what do you fight about?
Are your fights physical or only verbal?

Any and all stories and info are much appreciated!

ETA: I have no idea where that m came from at the end of my thread title.

Bookewyrme
06-28-2011, 09:57 PM
I think that it will depend a bit on relative ages of the sisters. I am 7 years older than my sister, and I have a much more motherly relationship with her than I would if we were closer in age.

mirandashell
06-28-2011, 10:04 PM
It definitely depends on the age difference. There are 5 years between me and mine. Growing up, we had different friends, different hobbies and interests. We did play together in the house, quite often make-believe games, but outside? No.

Our fights were usually over parental attention. As the older sister, I was the one my parents did all their learning on. So they were a lot stricter on me than on her. And obviously, that caused resentment on my side.

ChaosTitan
06-28-2011, 10:07 PM
Just like any relationship, it depends on a whole lot of factors. What's the age difference? Did your parents treat you any differently? How similar are your likes/dislikes/hobbies/etc...? Do you have similar tempers?

My sister and I are 15 months apart, and we're extremely close. We were very close our entire lives (except for one miserable year in high school), because we were both shy and spent a lot of time together. We stood up for each other. We had a lot of the same friends.

As kids, my sister was more like my dad (into sports, athletic, not quite a tomboy), while I was more like my mom (quieter, more crafty and artsy). As adults, we've kind of switched those roles a little bit, where I'm a lot more like dad and she's more like mom. But we're still very close. We like the same books and movies and television shows. We're different, but get along extremely well. We had a great childhood, with parents who treated us fairly and equally, and who never told us we couldn't be whatever we wanted when we grew up.

I know, not great for novel-esque drama. :D

ladyleeona
06-28-2011, 11:55 PM
I'm the middle of three girls (hahahaha Dad), and I have very different relationships with my older and younger sisters.

My older sister (4 years my senior) is more of a mother figure. We're close, but there's always been the age/maturity difference. We used to yell at each other, but it was always because I was borrowing her new jeans or cds...she always had the bestest stuff. Now I talk to her about more mature topics--work, man trouble, etc.

My younger sister and I (2.5 years apart) definitely have one of those really close but really competitive relationships. We've always stuck up for each other, but we still used to fight like cats and dogs. When we were younger, we had more than a few slugfests, much to my mother's horror. (What can I say, we're both tomboys.) Definitely a 'partners-in-crime' sort of relationship--if one of us got in trouble, it was likely the other was also involved. We fight with each other over tons, but we'd fight for each other in an instant, no questions asked. The only one who gets to mess with my little sister is me, LOL. I've always been very protective of her, but shhhh, don't tell ;). We were three grades apart in school, but shared a room until I was about 13, which probably contributed to our closeness.

So that was what I grew up with. It's worked out okay I guess:).

Oh. And when all us sisters are together, our total IQ drops by about 50%. (Again, hahaha Dad.)

dirtsider
06-29-2011, 12:18 AM
I have two older sisters. I'm younger than the oldest by 4 years and 2 years from the next oldest. When we were younger, I kinda got stuck with my brother since my sisters pretty much excluded him. (He was born in between them so I'm 3 years younger than he is.) My two sisters were more 'girly' than I was. I don't know if it's because I got stuck playing with my brother or because I was more of a tomboy or me being a tomboy was a way to rebel against them. Maybe a bit of all three. My two sisters fought like cats and dogs but also did a lot of things together. I, on the other hand, was more of a loner. They did their hair and makeup together but also competed.
That being said, I was closer to my next older sister than with the oldest.

Nowadays though, my two sisters spend more time with each other than I do with either of them, despite the two of them living so far away from each other. I'm still a bit of the black sheep of the family while they both are married and have kids.

shadowwalker
06-29-2011, 12:31 AM
My half-sister (same mom) is 15 years older than me. We hate each other.

Isabelle
06-29-2011, 12:35 AM
My sister is six years younger than me - I think we're really lucky in that we're best friends. We're really close, and she's always come to me with her worries and problems growing up...I'm very protective of her, proud of her, and love spending time with her on the rare occasion that we're in the same place.

We have two brothers as well, who we're also really close to, but I think it's a different kind of relationship that we have with each other. The age difference is just enough so that I've been very much the big sister, but just small enough so that she's never felt uncomfortable telling me things - because I went through the same kind of things not that long ago.

Love 'er!

stormie
06-29-2011, 01:09 AM
Oh good--I get to talk about myself! :D

Seriously, though, I was the youngest of my sisters. There were four of us who lived past childhood. No brothers.

As children (there was a 12 year span among the four of us), the two youngest mostly played together, and the two oldest mostly hung out together and took care of the younger ones, also teaching us games as well as playing a lot of practical jokes. We were a close-knit family.

When we got a little older, there was a lot of teasing, some arguing, a lot of laughing, and discussions. But there was still the "two youngest, two oldest" slight separation.

When I was in my thirties (again, I'm the youngest) and the oldest in her forties, is when that separation of two youngest, two oldest, diminished and we became just the four sisters. Age no longer mattered. We were very close and the remaining three of us still are.

Puma
06-29-2011, 02:56 AM
My sister is 16 years older than I am, and we have brothers 12 and 14 years older than I. (Same parents, I was an after-thought or accident, depending on which of my parents told the story). When I was growing up (many moons ago), the boys had one room upstairs in the house, my sister had the other, and I had a small room downstairs.

When I was about 5 I was allowed to go upstairs and sleep with my sister in her double sized bed. Only problem was, I sometimes wet the bed. I can remember getting yelled / jerked out of a deep sleep because I'd done it again. It wasn't long after that she moved to the YWCA to live. That's the only tension I can ever remember between us.

She married when I was 9 and I was flower girl. For the next many years I spent at least a week at her house every summer, helping and playing with her three toddlers. I wasn't grown up yet, but I was on my way and got along well with my sister and her husband.

They moved far away. I still visited for a week during the summer (college age) and we had some very good times. Even though there are many years between us, we enjoyed being goofy and each other's company.

I married. Oddly her husband and my husband have the same first name. Even more oddly, they liked each other. So visits to and with them were enjoyable. We had many things to talk about but we all enjoyed corny jokes and sitting around the table after supper talking.

She's 83 now and her husband can't get around well. Mine can't either so there aren't so many visits, but there are still phone calls. She and I talk for an hour. Just the other night she mentioned that even though there are so many years between us, we have always had a close relationship.

So that's my story. Puma

bettielee
06-29-2011, 03:12 AM
All 4 of my sisters are much older than I am - as a matter of fact, most of them are all around the same age and I'm 10 years younger. that works, as my parents had kids from previous relationships, and then my dad married a woman with a daughter.

I was difficult. A weird kid. A weird adult. But now, my step-sister and I (who I consider a "real" sister) are actually friends. If I had placed a bet on us being friends 10 years later.... let's just say, the odds would make me a millionaire.

I also have a sister that I don't care if I ever see again. She likes to swoop down into my life, (probably after she's alienated everyone in her own immediate circle) screw with my head, and then leave. For reals. I'd be all excited and puppydog like when she called or got in contact. We'd meet up, she'd start talking about all this stuff I don't remember, dropping bombs about my mom and my brother and things I never knew... I'd spend a few hours listening in a "deer-in-the-headlights" way, wondering who in the hell this person was and why she was sticking her fingers in my psyche and trying to destroy me, then we'd part and I wouldn't heard from her for years. No exaggeration. YEARS. Last time she tried to contact me (via facebook - only a friend request - not with a note to say omgsishey!it's me!wecanbefriendsonfacebook) I told her to go to hell and get some help. She was non-plussed as to my reaction.

As for me, I sighed a huge sigh of relief and went on with my day.

Chase
06-29-2011, 05:09 AM
One sister is four years older. She was born deaf and entitled. At first I was a toy and then an interpreter, plus someone to blame for everything she didn't want to catch hell for. I was her punching bag until I was twelve and the same size. Of course the "one doesn't hit girls, even in self defense" rule became law. As I grew tougher, I became her protection, and the little smart ass needed a marine fire team in full battle dress.

Fast forward to today. She's 74 and I'm 70, and we're both deaf. Yesterday, she texted she's arriving by train August 30. I will pick her up at the station; I will take her to eat; then I will drive her to the camping function for the deaf in Salem, where I can play chauffeur until I make sure she catches the train back to San Francisco after Labor Day.

Any more sister questions?

Kateness
06-29-2011, 05:12 AM
My sister is 2-ish years younger than me.

We have a complicated relationship. We can confide in each other, get along great - and I've punched her in the mouth.

She's more headstrong than I am, but I'm more stubborn and grudge-y. We're both bright, which I think sometimes is a hindrance more than a help.

frimble3
06-29-2011, 10:36 AM
There are two of us. I'm the older sister by almost exactly a year. We were so close in age that my mother dressed us alike, bought us the same presents, etc., apparently as part of her fantasy that we would be 'close' and 'best friends'. She was an only child, and my father, the youngest. They had their foolish illusions.
We fought like cat and dog when we were kids. First because we were unlike. The only things we had in common were the same parents and being raised together.
I was a quiet, bookish, placid, undemanding sort of kid. My sister, she went from crawling to running and never stopped, always trying something, doing something, questioning something (or, not asking the question, just acting on the impulse.) So, I was the 'good' kid, and she was always catching trouble. It's only now, in hindsight, that I realise how much of our problems were based on competing for our parents' attention, or approval. Because while I was the 'good', quiet one, she was a bright, eager, personable little kid, and more like them, in a lot of ways.
We shared a room until we were in our teens, again, part of my mother's 'closeness' theory, which masked the fact that we seldom played together. I liked dolls and imaginative games, my sister liked running and chasing. She would have made a fine tomboy, and if only we'd had organized sports back in the day, she'd have been a star.
Now, as adults, with our parents gone and a miles between us, the relationship has mellowed. But we can still astonish each other with how different our memories are.

senka
06-29-2011, 01:26 PM
When my sister and I were children my parents were kinda caught in the crossfire of World War III. Honestly, we were fighting all day and sometimes at night as well and drove everyone around us crazy. Our parents' friends told them not to bring both of us along when they come to visit because we together were considered unbearable. One grandma liked me better, the other one liked her better and both showed it. That led to even more fighting. And the fact that we had to share a room until I was 15 might have been the straw to break the camel's back.

I don't think we were very competitive, we just didn't get along because we were too different. But anyone who dared scolding us for fighting would be sorry for that...lol... As soon as someone did that we were as thick as thieves and would eat the person alive.

I'm 5 years older but my sister was the one telling me "You can't go outside like that", "You should be properly dressed", "Behave yourself" and so on. She always wanted to please the adults around her and she was a cute little girly girl. She kept drawing kind of "we are a happy family" pictures with the four of us in the middle of a big pink heart and like that... When she had done something wrong she sulked and cried her eyes out and people never could be strict with her because she was oh sooo cute... blah blah. Oh, and she was good at school and very hardworking and she did ballett and riding horses and stuff.

Hm... and I was the opposite, I guess. I was a stubborn and quite violent tomboy and bone-lazy and bad-mannered as well, I hated girly-stuff and I was very bad at making myself sympathetic. I beheaded her My Little Pony plastic horses and Barbie dolls when I was angry and I beat her up on the way to school when she kept provoking me. She came home crying and told my parents and I got detention. For that I got back at her the next day... and so on.

Until now it is kind of a love-hate-relationship. It got much better when I moved out of my parents', house. She is not so girly any more which helped a lot also. We don't talk to each other very often (we live quite far apart) but we phone maybe once a month. When I visit my parents I get to visit her also, she lives not far away from them and it's nice to see her.
We argue a lot still. On the other hand, she has the unfortunate trait of being too nice and letting people take advantage of her and I know if ever anyone will really hurt her I'll make that person wish he was never born.

kelzey2
06-29-2011, 04:35 PM
My sister is about two years younger than me and we fight about everything and everything.

When we were younger we got along half the time and fought half the time. Most of the time fights were over the computer, t.v. remote, her not cleaning up, differing opinions on something, blaming each other for something, etc. We have an older brother who we both fought with but I usually protected her when the got into fights and I think because I got along with him better and spent more time playing with him than she did is probably why she is a lot girly-er than me.

I am now twenty and she is eighteen and both us and our brother still live with our parents. We are not really close but we do turn to each other for help or advice on a regular basis, for situations ranging from uni help, fashion advice, dealing with parents/brother, etc. I definitely tell my best friends more than I tell her.

We still fight about the remote, differing opinions and her not cleaning up but now that we're older we also fight about stealing each others clothes, parking our car in the way of the others, and spending too much time in the bathroom. Most of our fights are verbal but we do on occasion get into a physical fight, even when we were younger

Overall, our relationship probably hasn't changed at all since we were younger. We have a lot less in common and we don't fight as often, but we are as close as we were when we were kids.

mirandashell
06-29-2011, 09:56 PM
My sister is 2-ish years younger than me.

We have a complicated relationship. We can confide in each other, get along great - and I've punched her in the mouth.

She's more headstrong than I am, but I'm more stubborn and grudge-y. We're both bright, which I think sometimes is a hindrance more than a help.


You're my sister, aren't you?

That sounds exactly like my relationship with my sister when we were younger.

Cai
06-29-2011, 10:05 PM
Some insight into my relationship with my sisters, myself being the 'girl in the middle':

I have two sisters, one two years older and one two years younger than me. I always rooted for my younger sister. My older sister shut me out of her clique and we fought a lot. We yelled at each other on every occasion. As a teen, I remember saying I hated her, although I knew that she would have my back if I really needed her help.
Most of the fights were about not cleaning up and talking back at her. I accused her of treating me like a child and she accused me of behaving like one. :) (Looking back at it now, I think it was kind of a vicious circle, since I bonded heavily with my younger sister and she may have felt left out, too.)
And for my younger sister, I just loved her. She was my best friend for as long as I can remember. Although we had separate rooms since we've been five or six, we always would be together in one of our rooms, talking for hours. And although we both had our own friends, we also had a few shared friends and did a lot things together.

Today, being grown-up, I still consider my younger sister my best friend. We live quite far apart from one another, but I still feel a deep connection to her. With my older sister it's more like distant family: We talk from time to time over the phone and I like seeing her when I visit home for a few days, but we never established a really deep relationship. But we got over the teenage hate drama nonetheless. And I still know that I could come to her with anything if I needed to. (Although I doubt, I would.)

lenore_x
06-30-2011, 08:56 AM
My sister and I are cliched opposites. She's blonde, I'm brunette. She was a cheerleader, I was a nerd ("was"...). She's outgoing, I'm shy. She inherited our mom's temperament, I got my dad's. I can keep going. :tongue

I can't remember the last time we fought. We haven't lived together since I was 9 and she was 15 (we're 25 and 31 now), so I'm sure that's part of it. We're not really close, which I'm guessing is partly because of the age difference and partly because we have so little in common, but we get along fine and we're... family, for lack of a better descriptor! We love to gossip/gripe about our parents. I have a better relationship with them than she does, so she often asks me for advice on dealing with them.

We played together when we were little. She was pretty mean to me, but probably only to an average big sibling level. (Playing practical jokes on me, calling me stupid names, etc.) Our sincere fights were just verbal, from what I recall, but we also wrestled. Or more accurately, she would pretend to let me beat her up, since I was too weak to actually cause any damage. As others have said, even though she was mean to me, she was also protective. One time she helped me beat up a boy who'd been tormenting me for a year. :D

fourlittlebees
06-30-2011, 09:24 AM
I have a theory that anything under 3 years is dangerous and anything over 4 years is the same for siblings. :)

My sister and I are two years apart. Polar opposites, fought like cats & dogs when we were younger, and get along now for about the first 10 days of a three-week visit when she comes into town before we get on each other's nerves (she stays with my parents or we wouldn't last that long).

Oh! I forgot! Yes, fights. Constant fights. She cut the hair on all my Barbies, and is still the stuff of family legend for bonding with our cousin, tying me up, and dragging me down a flight of stairs. She's younger, but she's taller. She got the Barbie body, and I got the brains. Allegedly.

That said, I still consider her my best friend, and she was amazing during my divorce. :D

Now my girls are five years apart. Little one worships older sister. Older sister, who WISHED for a little sister, thinks little sister is an annoying pest.

backslashbaby
06-30-2011, 11:32 AM
My older sister and I are a year and a half apart, and as kids folks thought we were twins. Mom dressed us the same, to avoid arguments. My sister was born the argumentative sort, I think ;)

At first it was great. She'd teach me everything she learned from anywhere, and be so proud of me that I could keep up. Every day after she went to school, she'd teach me everything.

Eventually, there were obvious problems with this. Folks neglected to see her awesome teaching skills, and the attention was on me. I had no control of that, of course.

More things along the way kept going that way, dammit. Even my physical problems were something she thought folks thought were 'better'. That girl craved attention like nobody's business. (She actually is diagnosed with what is called hypochondria in laymen's terms :( )

I love her so much, but the competition thing finally broke me down long ago. I can't continue to apologize for everything I do well, or better than her. I've always hated that, actually. But who realistically can lead a life where it's all about trying to do worse than somebody who has a few serious stumbling blocks? It can't be all about her, and unfortunately, she still expects it to be.

My parents were really bad about all of this, btw. Yes, they were unfair to her. So she beat me up every week, and they just said 'Well!'. Oh, it was some seriously crazy stuff. One of the main reasons I wanted to move out so badly was to avoid being beaten up or otherwise tormented by my sis. It's really not a family situation I'd recommend ;)

RedStringSoul
06-30-2011, 11:35 AM
I have a sister and we're four years apart, almost exactly. (Her birthday is the day after mine!) I was (?) a pretty, um, headstrong little thing. I liked the idea of having a sister until I realized that it meant that the attention wasn't all on me. That's pretty much lasted throughout both of our lives.

Our personalities and ways of doing things are pretty much polar opposites and we clashed. A lot. Growing up, we were always in different stages in life. She wanted a relationship while I was more interested in what I was doing. The age gap means less as we both hit our mid-20s but it took that long to even begin to get on more equal ground.

poetinahat
06-30-2011, 12:23 PM
ETA: I have no idea where that m came from at the end of my thread title.
What M? ;)

stormie
06-30-2011, 04:22 PM
What M? ;)
And like magic, it's gone! <poof!> (I thought it was kind of catchy spelled that way.)

Archie1989
06-30-2011, 04:29 PM
I have a sister that's seven years younger, so we've been fighting pretty much since the day she was born. I cried because I didn't want to take her home from the hospital :) lol, yeah I'm a wicked nice person.

When I was younger, I spent a lot of time slamming my bedroom door in her face, and screaming at my mother that it was undignified for a 13yr old to play with Barbies with her little sister, so how DARE she ask me to . . . let's see . . .

Now it's mostly me bitching that I don't want to have to chauffeur her around, and her bitching just to bitch because she's 15. It's tough for us to get along because we're never in the same "stage" of growing up at the same time.

Hope that helps!

Alpha Echo
06-30-2011, 04:41 PM
Well, I am 4 years older than my closest sister, 6 years older than the baby.

Growing up, the one closest to me copied me constantly. She wore what I wore, listened to my music, ate what I ate, acted how I acted and even hung out with my and girlfriends. I didn't care. I liked it, and in that manner, we were pretty close.

My baby sister and I weren't close at all when we were younger. In fact, I teased her mercilessly. Once, she bit my back because I was making fun of her. Yup..my back. She was always trying to include herself, but we kept pushing her out of the group, using any form of manipulation and teasing we could.

As we got older, however, I somehow grew closer to my baby sister and further away from my other sister. We're too different. Conversations are awkward, and we hardly ever have them. I don't like her husband. I don't agree with many of her beliefs, both political and spiritual.

But my baby sister and I are best friends. We talk often on the phone or Skype, since she's a good 7 hour drive away. I admire the woman she's become, I love her husband, and of course, I love their son.

Lavern08
07-01-2011, 12:26 AM
Didn't realize I had three sisters until I was 33 years old - twenty-five years ago (long story).

I get along fine with two of them.

The other one (who thought she was the oldest for all of those years) - Not so much.

Ehhh,

I still love her anyway. :Shrug:

Soccer Mom
07-01-2011, 01:21 AM
My sister and I are really close. We're three years apart and have shared everything from clothes to cars over the years. We were both really bad about borrowing that one special outfit the other one had been saving to wear. Especially in college when we roomed together.

sheadakota
07-01-2011, 01:43 AM
I am the middle of three sisters. My older sister is five years ahead of me and my younger sister and I are 18 months apart.

Growing up my younger sis and I were bestest buds. I taught her how to ride a bike, build a fort and stand up for herself. She tried to teach me how to be girly. Our freindship lasted through the highschool and college years. there wasn't a day that went buy we didn't talk to each other. My older sister and I were basically styrangers until we were adults.

Now- as adults I have found my two sisters have way more in common with each other than they do with me. That along with a betrayal from my younger sister that I find hard (make that impossible) to forgive, has irrevocably changed our relationships.

My younger sis and I tolerate each other but we don't talk. I talk to my older sis but will not tell her anything I don't want younger sis to know becasue they are very close now. So the realtionship is heartbreakingly strained. My older brother and I have found that we are very much alike and developed a strong friendship as adults.

weird how things work out.

Fallen
07-01-2011, 02:06 AM
I'm the youngest of three sisters. Blood counts for pretty much nothing; in fact, you're made more welcome if you're a stranger. I wouldn't say we've been at war with each other since we were kids (there's no fire, no arguments, no battles), we're more, indifferent, for want of a better word.

Lehcarjt
07-01-2011, 02:51 AM
I have two sisters (and two brothers). I'm oldest. Sister #2 is two years younger than me. Sister #3 is sixteen years younger than me.

For most of my childhood life I resented Sister #2 because she was my forced tag-along. We fought - I always won and was really nasty to her (unless she ganged up with Brother #1 and then they won).

However, once I hit 18 and moved out our relationship completely changed. Now Sister #2 is my best friend. She's my go-to person when things get difficult.

Sister #3 is harder. Our ages are so far apart that we grew up separately. She was only 2 when I moved out. So there is a distance between us and even though we are all now adults, I still see her as a kid. We get along great though.

Fun question and easy to answer too!

ios
07-01-2011, 04:13 AM
I don't have a sister but I want to write a realistic sisterly relationship in my novel.

I've learned through my relationship and watching my mom's, that sisterly relationships come in all shapes and sizes.


What's your relationship with your sister like? Now versus when you were children?My sister and I used to be not close, but not distant in relationship when we were younger. We played games, but we didn't share deep, dark secrets and we didn't really hang outside the house together once we could drive. We had some fights, but it was kid stuff. Nothing serious. We have different personalities. She is more outgoing, I'm very shy. She is more controlling, I'm a pleaser or mediator.

Anyway, it all went to pot after she was a few years into college. I'm two years younger, but three grades behind her. As I was still in college and/or only part time employed I lived at home still during these times. It was a nightmare when she came home. I hated it. I tried my best to please her, but inevitably I'd so something and she'd make me feel utterly worthless in life. She was embarrassed by me, and not afraid to let me know in indirect ways. She would pick on me--not fighting picking, but focusing negatively on aspects of my life. She didn't say these little things to improve me, but because they annoyed her or she preferred things differently for her own sake; basically it was passing judgement, not trying to change me for the better because she wanted me to be better. Nothing about me was ever good enough for her. It was like waiting for the other shoe to drop all the time. I'm wary all the time around her; it's like waiting for a bomb to explode, because it will. I basically do not talk to her and prefer my relatives to not mention me to her at all. I also keep my interactions with her to a bare minimum, rarely suggesting anything even like a cool movie to watch because she doesn't want my suggestions, my suggesting things to her annoys her. And unless I am using something about her as an example, like something about her husband or something about her career, I try not to even think about her. It's gotten that bad.

That is not to say I don't admire her or care about her, but for my own sanity, I've gotten to the point I am taking Joel Osteen's (a Christian preacher) advice and "loving her from a distance."

My mom has a sister she is not real close with, too, so I've come to accept it happens--personalities clash, especially if one is more controlling than the other. But she has two other ones she is close to, whom she yardsales with (I yardsale with them too) and does other like things with. I envy my mom for that relationship.

Jodi

lac582
07-01-2011, 09:10 AM
I have a fraternal twin sister, no other siblings. We're pretty different - in looks, personality, talents, tastes. I take more after our dad, she takes more after our mom. I'm short, artistic, and nerdy. She's tall, athletic, and not at all nerdy. But we sound exactly alike. Same voice, same speech patterns. And we have similar senses of humor.

We're close, but not crazy close. Certainly not weird twin 'secret relationship' close. But I think that's part of our personalities. We're not 'talk on the phone every day' kind of people with anyone. We currently live on opposite sides of the country, but we get along really well when we're together. Confide in each other. Have the same circle of childhood friends.

When we were little kids we always played together, and squabbled little except for the quick 'you stole my toy' kind of bursts. Once we hit adolescence we started fighting a LOT. I stole her best friend (briefly), she would sometimes tease me brutally about being the big nerd that I was (i.e. "if we weren't sisters I would never be friends with you", or, once, when *I* fell down the stairs at school, she mutters "Oh my god, I'm so embarrassed").

She would accuse me of being favored by our parents, but it's just 'cause I wasn't rebellious like she was. I did feel badly for her because she's really smart, but I'm a bit more bookish so teachers would unfairly compare us. It really riled her, and rightly so, when our Chemistry teacher suggested that she have me tutor her. She also lorded over me for a long time that she was sick of being my 'chauffeur', but our car was stick shift and I was a nervous driver so it was better she took the wheel. I made up for it by being the DD during the college years.

Almost all our kid/teen fights were verbal. There were only rare physical incidents that I recall. Once she pinned me against the side of the swimming pool and whispered nasty things at me. And occasionally I would smack her with a stick of bamboo when she wouldn't leave my room (because she wanted attention). Once I even tied a chain necklace to the end of it and whipped it at her (I know). She also used to constantly ask/tell me to bring her stuff, while simultaneously accusing me of being lazy.

Now as adults we don't fight at all. We're more accepting and understanding of each other (though we'll occasionally fall into old patterns and get snippy). We also have a lot of inside jokes. We never shared a lot of stuff because we were never the same size, but she used to try to do makeovers on me (which I hated). Ironically, I am now better at applying makeup than she is!

dreamcatcher
07-02-2011, 10:25 AM
What's your relationship with your sister like? Now versus when you were children?
Do you fight and, if so, what do you fight about?
Are your fights physical or only verbal?


Our relationship is good. We were close as children, and still now as young adults (she's 19, I'm 22.) We don't hang out as much as we used to though, as we no longer have common interests, i.e. Barbies mostly. She likes music, tattoos, clubs; I like books, art, staying at home. But we're still best friends.

We fought a lot as kids, but never anymore. If for some reason either of us snap, we quickly apologise. When we were young, fights were mostly verbal (caused by jealousy) and rarely physical (although she did hit me occasionally, lol.)

I will mention one thing I realised about our relationship lately which I think might be of some help: my sister tells me everything (many things she would never tell our mother) except when it's something I believe she feels I will look down upon because it's something I would never do and she's afraid it will mar my opinion of her. For example (hypothetically) if she fell pregnant from a one night stand, then had an abortion, I would hear it through my mother.

dreamcatcher
07-04-2011, 03:46 PM
Oh, I thought of something else. She's the younger sister but she ALWAYS has to have everything before me. She got a bike first, a boyfriend first, her licence first. I guess it's a competitive thing?

Amy LaBonte
07-04-2011, 06:55 PM
My sister and I are ten years apart. I'm the older one. I took care of her when she was a baby and was happy to do it. She had a problem showing affection even when very young.

She told me she was jealous of me later, when I was in my twenties. I was floored. Jealous of me? The outcast, the loner, the screw up?

She is slowly mellowing out and now that both parents are gone she doesn't want anything happening to me. I've always been there for her. Trying to protect her as much as I could. She lives far away and I wish she'd move closer. I love her. I wish her the best. I wish her happiness.
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lacygnette
07-13-2011, 04:26 AM
I'm the oldest of three sisters. Close to them both now, but it took a while. We each had our passions: ballet, folk singing, horses.

My middle sister hated to do the dishes (we had to share the job). Once my parents were out after dinner and she lolly-gagged and lolly-gagged, said I would get blamed and sashayed away. I threw a chair down the stairs at her.

My youngest sister was the 'baby.' So imagine my shock when I came home from college a day early and found her making out like crazy with some guy in the living room. Ick!

The three of us with Mother used to go out for lunch or dinner when we were all in town at the same time. We'd tell family stories and laugh so hard I was afraid we'd get thrown out for drunks.

Sweet Tea
07-15-2011, 03:59 AM
I'm the oldest of 3 sisters - they weren't always my best friends - but we are thicker than thieves now.

I remember the words to an old tune:

Heaven help the mister that comes between me and my sister
And Heaven help the sister that comes between me and my man