Demise of the Gay Bar

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Given that it's June 28, the anniversary of Stonewall, I found this article from Slate on the Death of the Gay Bar particularly poignant.

While I'm glad to see queer culture move a from a heavy emphasis on drinking, those social connections, and the transmission of queer cultures will suffer.

There are still gay bars—but they are rapidly disappearing. The only lesbian bar in this area I know of that's still specifically lesbian (well, technically, it's a dyke bar) is The Wild Rose in Seattle, and its moved toward professional large-scale party nights. Not so much a local hangout. The leather bars are still alive, in Seattle, anyway.

But are we losing that local neighborhood hangout, where "everyone knows your name"?
 

Maxinquaye

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I read that article yesterday, and it left me a bit nostalgic because I was one of those young things that went by the bar nine times before I dared sneak into its shadows and sit at the back where all those dangerous people couldn't see me.

I've been accustomed to English life though, and the pub tradition is very strong, and there are gay pubs that functions as hang-outs. You go to any pub to socialise, really, and particularly if you're queer. It's nice to have a place to socialize where you're the standard, and not the odd bit out.

I think, even now, such places are important. So, for me, I'd be sad to see such places go.
 

Deleted member 42

I read that article yesterday, and it left me a bit nostalgic because I was one of those young things that went by the bar nine times before I dared sneak into its shadows and sit at the back where all those dangerous people couldn't see me.

That's one of the reasons I'm sad about the decline--it was a known place to go, where you'd find people who'd been out for years, so you didn't feel like you were the only person like you.

This is especially crucial in rural areas--there aren't a lot of QUILTBAG centers or social networking groups in America's hinterlands.

I've been accustomed to English life though, and the pub tradition is very strong, and there are gay pubs that functions as hang-outs. You go to any pub to socialise, really, and particularly if you're queer. It's nice to have a place to socialize where you're the standard, and not the odd bit out.

We don't really have the same kinds of pub culture here, even with micro breweries.

I think there's a lot of puritan/Prohibition stuff still embedded in our 'merica.

I'll be said to see gay bars go, and hope they don't. Maybe we can borrow something from British/EU pub cultures and slow down the demise.
 

Becca_H

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We have a gay bar here, but it's mainly for the LGB community aged between 14-21 who have just come out or considering doing so. Much older than 21, and it's normally the pub.

I'm not sure how they legally allowed 14-year-olds in there, but apparently they did. I don't see it closing here. It's still very popular, but very youth orientated.
 

Anna L.

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Gay bars in North America are mostly used to hook up and make friends like yourself, no? It worked fine before, but we have this thing called the internet now that allows you to do the exact same thing from the comfort of your home. My mom still goes to gay bars when she's looking for a new girlfriend, but that's because she doesn't know how to turn on a computer.

I personally hate bars, so I can't say it touches me.
 

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Gay bars in North America are mostly used to hook up and make friends like yourself, no? It worked fine before, but we have this thing called the internet now that allows you to do the exact same thing from the comfort of your home.

My mom still goes to gay bars when she's looking for a new girlfriend, but that's because she doesn't know how to turn on a computer.

That's one of the things that I think is a loss--we're losing access to the community elders.
 

mscelina

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I haz a sad. I worked in a huge gay bar for a very long time and loved almost every moment I spent in that place. (I don't love the ones I don't remember, which, unfortunately, are probably a few more than I realize) There were so many people who lived for nights at the clubs--the little hole in the wall bars, the leather clubs, the big dance and show clubs. By the mid-nineties, the gay bars were the best clubs to go to for people who just wanted to have a good time, and thsoe bars did a hell of a lot to bring the gay community and the straight community together--there was no place for prejudice in a place where everyone could drink and have a good time. And now we're losing them, and that's sad. The club where I worked is gone now, which saddens me greatly, and around here there aren't any gay bars to mention. 'Tis a shame.
 

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I think one of the sadder aspects of big city living is the segregation of LGBT into its constituent letters. Lesbians have their own places, gay men have theirs, bisxuals their own, and trans people have further places. You have dyke bars, or leather men bars. You have youth clubs and you have senior's clubs.

Back when I came out I lived in a smallish University town (60k people) - that's where I circled the bar for many, many times before daring to go in - and everyone had to share the same place. So, you had lesbians and gay men, transgendered and bdsm, all working under the same roof so to speak.

It had its problems, so I understand the wish for segregation in larger towns. It is also nice for women to have their own space seperate from men. I still can't help that feel that something is lost as well.

I think that loss is compounded by the internet, because the segregation is complete down to small details of difference, and the unity is totally removed.
 

DancingMaenid

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Yeah, it's kind of sad. Personally, I'm not big on the bar or club scene, so gay bars have never really appealed to me. But it's sad to see the demise of things that are for us.
 

Deleted member 42

Yeah, it's kind of sad. Personally, I'm not big on the bar or club scene, so gay bars have never really appealed to me. But it's sad to see the demise of things that are for us.

Exactly.

It was ours. And also, there's something to be said for a place where you know it's ok to dance with your partner, or hold hands, without having to be braced for something hostile.

One of the things I love about New Orleans is that most of the bars feel safe; that's not the case here, even though we're surrounded by bars.
 

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Unfortunately, in our case, one of the legendary bars in the Twin Cities area welcomed diversification but it's blown up in their face. The Gay 90's became The Place To Be shortly after I moved up here. While the clientele was expanding and more people were coming, I got sick of being a tourist attraction. The Men's Room, the leather bar, is a popular stop on the tour by women out for their hen parties. They all came in with this air of "OMFG we're, liek, in a LEATHER BAR, Becky!" and would look around and giggle. Real conducive to the nights when I was out to have a couple beers and pick somebody up.

A couple years later, it became so popular, they began to charge a $5 cover. All well and good, but I've talked to people who'd been hassled by some straight guys, reported the harassment, and were thrown out themselves. Never mind it's supposed to be one of "our" bars.

And forget what happened to the local branch of the Eagle, a leather bar. It's changed hands a couple times since it opened, and the recent owners were really upset the previous owners actually had THE GALL to enforce a dress code! Srsly. You come to a leather bar, you expect to see the uniform, right? Am I right? Never mind enough people complained and the dress code was "enforced" on Friday and Saturday nights, and...quotes? Quotes? What quotes? I don't see any. Finally, it was just completely done away with because it just wasn't fair.
 

Deleted member 42

Unfortunately, in our case, one of the legendary bars in the Twin Cities area welcomed diversification but it's blown up in their face. The Gay 90's became The Place To Be shortly after I moved up here. While the clientele was expanding and more people were coming, I got sick of being a tourist attraction. The Men's Room, the leather bar, is a popular stop on the tour by women out for their hen parties. They all came in with this air of "OMFG we're, liek, in a LEATHER BAR, Becky!" and would look around and giggle. Real conducive to the nights when I was out to have a couple beers and pick somebody up.

This is what I mean about "our" spaces.

They become trendy tourist places.

Lately, well, the last two years, lesbian bars have been used to stage stealth attacks by heterosexual couples seeking a female third.

And not understanding why the regulars get upset.

I worry about the loss of places to just be ourselves.
 

absitinvidia

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Lately, well, the last two years, lesbian bars have been used to stage stealth attacks by heterosexual couples seeking a female third.

And not understanding why the regulars get upset.


This happened to me a couple of weeks ago (a heterosexual couple trying to get me to leave with them). It was extremely frustrating and intrusive.
 

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Bars are for sinners.

You're all sinners.
 

BenPanced

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This is what I mean about "our" spaces.

They become trendy tourist places.

Lately, well, the last two years, lesbian bars have been used to stage stealth attacks by heterosexual couples seeking a female third.

And not understanding why the regulars get upset.

I worry about the loss of places to just be ourselves.
You are one with the Borg.

You will now be assimilated.
 

Caitlin Black

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I've never been in a gay bar, but I still mourn the loss for selfish reasons as well as noble reasons.

The noble reasons are pretty well summed up by everyone else in this thread, especially Medi.

My selfish reasons for mourning the loss of gay bars is that one day I'll actually have lesbian parts, and will want a nice safe place to get used to flirting with girls without my stubble and penis.

I know there's the Internet, but honestly? I build trust with someone from being near them in person. I can only imagine how many violent heteronormative people might troll gay match sites looking for victims. (Not all heteronormative people, naturally.) Probably a big enough risk to deter me from trusting people I've met on gay match sites.

(Yes, I know - I'm being paranoid. But it could happen. Prejudice is alive and well, unfortunately.)

So yeah... I'd really prefer a gay bar. Not to mention that I like the occasional drink. ;)
 

Xelebes

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Mm, I've always preferred the gay restaurants. They are more likely to have a mix for the diversity and avoid the meat market feeling at the busiest times (one of the things I didn't like about working in a leather bar.) I've always liked there being a mix of straight and gay and whatnot. I guess I'm just not too much into the exclusivity and the vortices of hormones that come with it.
 

Bookewyrme

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My sister-in-law serves at one of the only gay-bars in the nearest town, but very rarely do I see many lgbt folks in there. It's a pretty tiny place though, and is more than just a bar (they also do a lot of live music and serve some of the best food in town). It's a nice little place, but it's rather on the rocks too. I think there is also a gay-club in town (they do drag shows anyway), and one other gay-bar. For a mid-size town with a huge university, that doesn't seem like a very large ratio to me.
 

Caitlin Black

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Oh, I forgot to mention. Last night I saw on the News that an upmarket beach-front shopping district about 20 minutes' drive from where I live is going to be officially a "Gay Hotspot". As in, kind of like a gay bar, but more leaning towards just being welcoming and friendly towards GLBT people as part of the city's regulations.

I was kind of annoyed that you need special rules from up on high to make a place as popular as that shopping district "welcoming and friendly" towards GLBT people.

And then the News people interviewed some people on the scene, and the men they spoke to were all saying things like, "I think it's a horrible idea," and "What will happy to the family-friendly atmosphere?" and "I wouldn't feel comfortable here." And that made me sad. Good work News.

But I thought I'd mention that here, because it's kind of topical. Perhaps we might lose gay bars, but gain gay-friendly hotspots that aren't bars?
 

MacAllister

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Cities often try to court the GLBT population, for a variety of reasons -- almost all of them financial. Queer-friendly districts tend towards artsy and chic (even if they initially start out as Thrift-Store-Chic), which means those areas quickly attract upwardly-mobile people with cash to spend.
 
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benbradley

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Has police harrassment at gay bars been an ongoing problem? It seems I've heard stories over the years. This news story was fairly big in Atlanta when it happened a couple years ago:

Atlanta police raid gay bar, arrest 8
http://www.ajc.com/news/atlanta/atlanta-police-raid-gay-136646.html

Another story two days later:
Chief: Vice cops saw sex at gay bar
http://www.ajc.com/news/atlanta/chief-vice-cops-saw-138328.html

The latest news is today, well after arrestees were released with no charges, bla bla bla...:
APD files report on 2009 Atlanta Eagle bar raid
http://www.ajc.com/news/atlanta/apd-files-report-on-991096.html

There's a website dedicated to the event:
http://atlantaeagleraid.com/
 

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Ben - I've never lived anywhere that local police harassment wasnt' a fairly big deal in gay bars and clubs.

Sometimes it's as simple as the cops being consistently slow showing up if someone calls 911 or someone gets jumped outside, on the way back to their car. Sometimes it's repeated raids and trumped up arrests and so on.
 

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Right in my own neighborhood, we have the oldest (1962) lesbian bar in San Francisco, the Wild Side West.

But it's changed over the years -- it still basically a (self proclaimed) dyke bar, but not exclusively so any more.It's open and welcome to all -- men, woman, straight, gay.

For me that's great -- it's a wonderful dive bar. But I'd guess it's lost something, for some, by moving out of the sub-culture into the mainstream.

Though the founder of the saloon, Pat Ramseyer always had an open door policy. Sadly, she died last year. She was an icon of the city's gay community.
 
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