bad things in my life = writer's block?

mgnme · Jun 25, 2011

there's something going on in my life (and it's something that's not going away any time soon. like, not for years, maybe not ever, so please don't say to wait it out. and it's not something I can get rid of, either.) and whenever I have a particularly bad day regarding this particular aspect of my life (about once a week) then, for about two days afterward, i just CAN'T WRITE.

it's driving me nuts. I'd say I average about 3-4 productive writing days per week.

anyone have a problem similar to this, where some inescapable part of their life triggers their writer's block? advice on what to do about it?

shaldna · Jun 25, 2011

obviously none of us know what is going on in your personal circumstances, but I've found in the past that when there are things going on I try to turn them around into 'I'll show them!' and I end up writing more. That's not to say that it's not hard to write, because it is, but having a goal, whether it's to show someone that you WILL be sucessful, or whether it's to make someone proud of you, or just to live up to all those expectations, I've found that if you can turn it around and make writing a positive thing in a bad situation that it can help.

If it's any help, sometimes I can't write for months at a time.

Libbie · Jun 26, 2011

Hey, man. I understand how that feels. I am dealing with a similar heap of shit (although fortunately, mine ought to go away eventually...although it might go away on very tragic terms.) Yes, it is extremely hard to write when the stress builds up too much. I'm glad you're having 3 - 4 productive days a week. That is a heck of a lot better than no productive days! Be happy with yourself for the progress you do make -- be genuinely proud of it. It is good progress.

You have to allow yourself to feel and accept the negative emotions when they come along, and if they sometimes overwhelm you and make it too hard to write, that's okay. Instead get out and do something good for yourself, like go for a walk, see a friend, pick up litter in the park -- whatever makes you feel simple happiness. Don't add to your stresses by forcing yourself to write when you really aren't able to.

Just relish those 3 - 4 days because you ARE writing pretty regularly. If this means that you finish books a little slower than other people, then that's totally fine. You have to balance life/coping with your shit and writing/working so you stay as mentally and physically healthy as possible.

I'd only be really worried if you weren't writing at all.

shadowwalker · Jun 26, 2011

I've found that when things are the most stressful, that's when I need to write. Working on my stories allows me to immerse myself in that world and forget RL even exists, if only for a short time. Hell, sometimes I write about what I'd like to have happen in RL, or how I'd like to respond to events via my characters - and then it doesn't matter how 'horrid' those thoughts are.

Chase · Jun 27, 2011

I'm like shadowwalker; the bad things in my life which worsen and will never go away are the reasons I write.

It beats daily doses of drugs and alcohol, and even the certainty that there's no light at the end, because I'm in a cave, not a tunnel, writing lends a glow to the walls.

I sure hope you find your glow.

J.W. Alden · Jun 28, 2011

I'm in a similar situation, though my reason is different by the sounds of it. My job actually prevents me from writing. Most days when I come home from work, I'm mentally exhausted and just veg out until bed. I've tried writing when I'm in that state and either I just sit there staring at the screen or I have to rewrite everything afterward because what comes out sucks.

So I'm similar in that I get a good 3-4 days a week of writing (my job is 4 days a week), but I tend to be very productive on those days, 6 or 7 hour sessions, sometimes longer. And what I've tried doing lately is use those days that I'm burnt out from working as revision days. I'll just go over what I wrote the previous time and revise. This at least keeps me in the work in some way, inside the little world I'm building, in the head of my characters. If I can't even do that, I read.

Kathl33n · Jun 28, 2011

I battled with a real-life experience, and I turned to poetry to battle it on paper. I turned my problems into demons on the page, and I battled them in prose. I do not intend to do anything with these, but I keep them in a binder just for myself. I have overcome this battle in my life for the most part, and the writing was also good practice in "getting out" the anger in a more positive way than what I could have done with the anger I faced day to day. Do some journal writing, get the emotions out, and see if that helps get it out of your head a little bit. Some say exercise gets out the anger or whatever it is in your head. I am more likely to pick up a pen first. I hope that someone is able to give you some advice that you can use to help you.

mar quest · Jun 28, 2011

I don't know what you're battling against but the fact that you can do at least 3 days of writing is fantastic. I can't even do one right now; and I don't have any "real" impediment. Perhaps you should focus on the days that you're productive. You don't have to write everyday to be a writer, you just need to be consistent and proficient.

DSA · Jun 28, 2011

Meditation has helped me with a similar situation. The Zencast podcasts (free on iTunes) are wonderful and instruction is available there if you need it. Good luck.

Jessykuh · Jun 28, 2011

shaldna said:
obviously none of us know what is going on in your personal circumstances, but I've found in the past that when there are things going on I try to turn them around into 'I'll show them!' and I end up writing more. That's not to say that it's not hard to write, because it is, but having a goal, whether it's to show someone that you WILL be sucessful, or whether it's to make someone proud of you, or just to live up to all those expectations, I've found that if you can turn it around and make writing a positive thing in a bad situation that it can help.

If it's any help, sometimes I can't write for months at a time.

I agree. I've been going through a tough time right now and it only makes me want to write more. I guess it's just to escape the bad times in my life and visit someone else's, something I can control. As I look back, all the bad times I've been through, I've looked to writing as my escape.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is, I have the opposite effect. When something's going wrong in my life, it only makes me want to write more.

But I agree with Libbie, as well. Don't force yourself to write. It will only make things worse.

Celesta · Jul 25, 2011

idk what you're going through but I find when I get ticked at life then I feel too mad to write. But then I realized, with surprise, that what was actually going on in me was self-pity. Then I came to the conclusion that my self-pity was actually a form of self-sabotage. I was giving myself permission not to do my best because of what had been going on.

Here's my blog post on the topic, but just a warning it's from a Christian perspective so if you're not open to that then it may not be helpful.

http://celestathiessen.com/blog/the-sneaky-sin-self-pity

firedrake · Jul 25, 2011

I lost my job last year and, as a result, had to pack up and move with my family back to the UK.
I was out of work for 10 months. I had all this time on my hands and couldn't write a single word.
I think I need to be 'settled', that is to have a roof over my head, some money in the bank and a job, before I can write. I even write best after a crazy busy day at work. Go figure.
I think writing 3 or 4 days a week is pretty good all things considered.

toldyouso · Aug 18, 2011

I can relate so much, although I don't know your particular circumstances. I'm lucky because my problem has gotten better for various reasons (I suffer from chronic pain). When it was at its worst, not only could I physically not write at all but I was in no place mentally to do so. it could become a cycle, really. But I did end up rising up and reacting similar to how shaldna and Jessykuh describe. I used my unbelievable stubbornness to manage to wrestle some writing time, initially only a half hour a week. Every Week. Was it hard? hell yes. Did I want to throw it in frequently? Of course. But I guess it just comes to finding that space of time and creativity, whatever it is your situation allows, and find a way to cherish it. Whatever it is, focusing on those days you can't write will solve nothing and could take the pleasure away from the days you can, because that threat will be there at the back of your mind like a spider.

Anyway, it isn't easy. I know what something like this is like. I still have rotton days and it is so frustrating if I wanted to write on them. But in the end, I still get yo write. I start, develop and finish things within my capabilities and that in itself has to be enough for me. I hope you figure it out, whatever it is. xx

shaldna · Aug 18, 2011

toldyouso said:
I can relate so much, although I don't know your particular circumstances. I'm lucky because my problem has gotten better for various reasons (I suffer from chronic pain). When it was at its worst, not only could I physically not write at all but I was in no place mentally to do so. it could become a cycle, really. But I did end up rising up and reacting similar to how shaldna and Jessykuh describe. I used my unbelievable stubbornness to manage to wrestle some writing time, initially only a half hour a week. Every Week. Was it hard? hell yes. Did I want to throw it in frequently? Of course. But I guess it just comes to finding that space of time and creativity, whatever it is your situation allows, and find a way to cherish it. Whatever it is, focusing on those days you can't write will solve nothing and could take the pleasure away from the days you can, because that threat will be there at the back of your mind like a spider.

Anyway, it isn't easy. I know what something like this is like. I still have rotton days and it is so frustrating if I wanted to write on them. But in the end, I still get yo write. I start, develop and finish things within my capabilities and that in itself has to be enough for me. I hope you figure it out, whatever it is. xx

That's brilliant. I'm really glad you were able to do anything at all, I know how hard it can be, especially when you mentally just can't do it.

Keep at it.

bad things in my life = writer's block?

mgnme

shaldna

The cake is a lie. But still cake.

Libbie

Worst song played on ugliest guitar

shadowwalker

empty-nester!

Chase

It Takes All of Us to End Racism

J.W. Alden

The King Who Bore the Sword

Kathl33n

Questioning Everything

mar quest

DSA

New kid, be gentle!

Jessykuh

Celesta

loves writing :)

firedrake

practical experience, FTW

toldyouso

Surly Temple

shaldna

The cake is a lie. But still cake.