How to become a writer [humor]

Another Editor · Jun 22, 2011

The good folks at Cracked.com have an article today entitled "How to Become A Writer in 5 incredibly Difficult Steps." This might be a humor web site that is famous for scatology, sarcasm, and what can only be described as an unhealthy obsession with superheroes, but I think that there is much to be learned from this.

Archie1989 · Jun 22, 2011

That made me giggle

And then want to punch him for getting a 30k advance on a book that someone asked him to write, and that he didn't have to spend months subbing to a zillion agents . . .

Lol.

Another Editor · Jun 23, 2011

What can I say? Life sucks, and then you write.

amrose · Jun 23, 2011

I like the bit about reading rainbow and all it takes is imagination.

Anna L. · Jun 23, 2011

"Learning to edit is, quite simply, learning to hate yourself word by word."

There's truth in this.

Another Editor · Jun 23, 2011

Archie1989 said:
That made me giggle And then want to punch him for getting a 30k advance on a book that someone asked him to write, and that he didn't have to spend months subbing to a zillion agents . . .

Lol.

Well, to be fair, the guy did spend years writing articles for a popular humor web site and created his own web site upon which he placed his own material. The publisher went to him knowing that he could write and also knowing that this was the kind of writer who could produce the kind of material that they knew they could sell. The guy had name-recognition from the start, and demonstrated ability. Once he accepted the project, they needed to pay him the advance to keep him from saying "project shmoject! These guys aren't doing anything for me! I'm just gonna keep writing for the web site and forget this piddling little thing they want me to do."

I know this is something for the freelancing forum but it bears mentioning that taking on more projects than you can handle and then prioritizing which ones you will actually put effort into is considered to be a corrupt business practice, but a lot of freelancers do it.

Another Editor · Jun 24, 2011

amrose said:
I like the bit about reading rainbow and all it takes is imagination.

One of my pet peeves is certain people who are involved in the writing hobby who insist that "storytelling" ability and "creativity" are more important than research, spelling, grammar, punctuation, and organization; to such a degree that you need not know any of the other things if you think you have the first two down pat.

I won't go any further with this one. I can feel my blood pressure going up.

DeadlyAccurate · Jun 24, 2011

Pictured: A more glamorous and fulfilling life than "author."

(It's a picture of two gas station attendants)

Another favorite:

After a while, [editing] does get easier though. But only because you will rediscover, with every single sentence, what an incredibly talentless asshole you really are. Every stilted phrase, obvious typo or terrible analogy will have you grimacing and swearing tiny vendettas at the horrible hack who wrote all this garbage you now have to fix.

kaitie · Jun 24, 2011

This cracked me up. Then I had to go add his book to my wishlist on Amazon. Nothing like morbid humor about the apocalypse to brighten one's day, after all.

Libbie · Jun 24, 2011

Another Editor said:
One of my pet peeves is certain people who are involved in the writing hobby who insist that "storytelling" ability and "creativity" are more important than research, spelling, grammar, punctuation, and organization; to such a degree that you need not know any of the other things if you think you have the first two down pat.

I won't go any further with this one. I can feel my blood pressure going up.

Yeah, that totally cheeses me off.

Chase · Jun 24, 2011

Another Editor said:
One of my pet peeves is certain people who are involved in the writing hobby who insist that "storytelling" ability and "creativity" are more important than research, spelling, grammar, punctuation, and organization; to such a degree that you need not know any of the other things if you think you have the first two down pat.

Absolutely. Yet I always snicker up my sleeve when I encounter the "read for content, not something as superficial as spelling, punctuation, and grammar" bunch. They aren't the competition.

JoeEkaitis · Jun 24, 2011

6: Find a morally bankrupt publisher who'll slap your pop-star name on barely edited self-indulgence that only PublishAmerica would publish otherwise.

How to become a writer [humor]

Another Editor

Archie1989

Is Published!!!

Another Editor

amrose

is Envy Augustine

Anna L.

Another Editor

Another Editor

DeadlyAccurate

Absolutely Fazed

kaitie

With great power comes

Libbie

Worst song played on ugliest guitar

Chase

It Takes All of Us to End Racism

JoeEkaitis

Certified Gray Haired Geek