You Know You're a Writer When. . . .

Orianna2000 · Jun 21, 2011

I saw that you had one of these, but it's been a few years since anyone added to it. Is it okay to start fresh?

You know you're a writer when . . .

. . . the keyboard on your laptop has several letters so worn off that you can no longer read them . . . and it doesn't matter, because you type so well on instinct.

. . . you always scramble to write down your dreams, because you never know when one will contain the plot element you need for your current WIP. Or be inspiration for a whole new novel.

. . . while shopping, you see an item and think, "Oh, So-and-So (your main character) would love that!!" And you actually consider buying it, even though you would never in a million years use it/wear it yourself.

. . . the fingernails on your pinkie and ring finger grow crooked, because of how you hold your hands on the keyboard.

Sadly, all true! Anyone else?

KidCassandra · Jun 21, 2011

... you mentally narrate your own life in third person.

... you focus so hard on your plot problems when you lie down in bed that you literally dream up the answers as you sleep.

... your preferred form of procrastination is posting on a writers' forum.

areteus · Jun 21, 2011

... relationships are no longer about getting sex but obtaining material for fleshing out your love scenes

... you find yourself predicting the end of plots of books, films and TV shows and getting it 100% right all the time because 'that's how I would have ended it'.

... life is not an endless grind of pain and worthless poverty, it's research for your next novel about a penniless writer.

Jonathan Dalar · Jun 21, 2011

...you find yourself predicting the end of plots of books, films and TV shows and getting it 100% right all the time because... "they messed it up by going with the cliche; they had a much better ending they didn't use."

...you find yourself looking forward to family vacations because you're going to where you set one of your novels and you can do some more research.

...you find yourself mis-remembering conversations because you modified them how your characters would have replayed the scene.

willietheshakes · Jun 21, 2011

... you have a trench -- not a groove, a trench -- above your first knuckle on one finger because of how, and how long, you hold your pen.

Archie1989 · Jun 21, 2011

. . . your parents/roommate/significant other is seriously considering sending you to see a psychiatrist because of your mood swings when it comes to your writing . . . .

Orianna2000 · Jun 21, 2011

willietheshakes said:
... you have a trench -- not a groove, a trench -- above your first knuckle on one finger because of how, and how long, you hold your pen.

Before I switched to typing, this was so true! I still have a "scar" on my middle finger from holding the pen.

stormie · Jun 21, 2011

I love reading these. All so true! (Esp. the worn-out lettering on the keyboard.)

Here's mine:

...going into Staples for one item, staying an hour, coming out with a filled shopping cart.

areteus · Jun 21, 2011

...you wander around charity bookshops picking up obscure reference works because 'it may come in useful for research some day'. [Not that I haven't just come back from doing just that or anything...

]

areteus · Jun 21, 2011

Orianna2000 said:
Before I switched to typing, this was so true! I still have a "scar" on my middle finger from holding the pen.

Me too... had it since I was 12...

CaroGirl · Jun 21, 2011

...you become enthusiastic about undergoing medical procedures, trips to the emergency room and going skydiving because you could "use that" in your next novel.

I, too, have a disfiguring lump on my right middle finger (although I no longer write by hand).

AlishaS · Jun 21, 2011

...when you go crazy because you've lost your pen. And no one understands that not any is as good as the next, and not any pen has the ability to write a novel.

I have a certain brand of pen--and notebook for that matter--that I only, ONLY use for writing, and nothing else compares.

Anna L. · Jun 21, 2011

...your self-esteem is determined by your word count.

You don't write for a week and you feel like a loser, then you have a 3000-word day and you feel awesome.

Fiona · Jun 21, 2011

... Several letters on my laptop keyboard are loose and almost fallen off, as if I've been pressing down too hard during my writing frenzy.....

scarletpeaches · Jun 21, 2011

...you finish the shit that you start.

CaroGirl · Jun 21, 2011

...you check your email in-box 100x per hour and are sure such behaviour is not clinically obsessive.

jaksen · Jun 21, 2011

When you're at a family affair, or a party, or luncheon, or any type of social gathering, you hunt around for an open PC or laptop so you can quickly write out a few passages, then email them to yourself.

Adam · Jun 21, 2011

...thanks to hours of slumping over a keyboard, your spine resembles a slinky.

Phaeal · Jun 21, 2011

....You look forward to sitting on the beach with a nice big stack of editing on your lap....

lindseyanne · Jun 21, 2011

AlishaS said:
...when you go crazy because you've lost your pen. And no one understands that not any is as good as the next, and not any pen has the ability to write a novel.

I do most of my writing on a computer, but I do this too. My pens are my pens, and that's it. I don't like losing them.

Libbie · Jun 21, 2011

willietheshakes said:
... you have a trench -- not a groove, a trench -- above your first knuckle on one finger because of how, and how long, you hold your pen.

I am just old enough to have one of these, having come of age immediately before there were computers in every home. I used to write EVERYTHING by hand, including my childhood novels.

You know you're a writer when...

...you look at candid photos of yourself and wonder how they'd look inside a dust jacket.

Darkshore · Jun 21, 2011

KidCassandra said:
... you mentally narrate your own life in third person.

... you focus so hard on your plot problems when you lie down in bed that you literally dream up the answers as you sleep.

... your preferred form of procrastination is posting on a writers' forum.

I am very guilty of this first one. If I just get done writing or reading something I find that my mind goes completely bonkers and I'm actually writing out dialogue in my head without even realizing it. The worst part is half the time once I notice I'm doing it I don't even know what it's about or even who the characters were. I'm also guilty of the wordcount confidence, and thinking up plot lines in my sleep. It's so hard to enjoy movies now though, I spot the cliche a mile away and can predict exactly what the movie is going to do wrong where a book would have went a different a much more entertaining route.

Bubastes · Jun 21, 2011

These have been mentioned before, but are so true:

... you lust after office supplies.

... you own an Alphasmart Neo and you've convinced someone else to buy one too.

JayMan · Jun 21, 2011

Darkshore said:
It's so hard to enjoy movies now though, I spot the cliche a mile away and can predict exactly what the movie is going to do wrong where a book would have went a different a much more entertaining route.

I agree with this completely.

Chris1981 · Jun 21, 2011

...there is a pen. It is actually the pen. You have twelve just like it, but this one is special. Because it just is, that's why. Stop asking silly questions and put down that pen before somebody gets hurt.

...unfinished stories, novels, etc. on the hard drive irritate you more than half a pound of sand in your drawers.

...nobody in your household is in school, but you look forward to back-to-school sales because that's the best time to stock up on office supplies. (Where am I going to put three cases of printer paper?)

...if you've been published, your new goal afterward became, "Be published again."

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